


Twinkle in his Eye

by xJessBellx



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:48:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 144,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23030428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xJessBellx/pseuds/xJessBellx
Summary: Tommy Shelby employs you to become Charlie's nanny after Grace dies.You then meet all of the Shelby family, and you and Michael fall in love with each other.Contains regular and very explicit sexual content and swearing throughout.
Relationships: Michael Gray/Reader, Michael Gray/You
Comments: 76
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pre Warning - will include swearing and explicit sexual content.
> 
> Y/N - Your name  
> Y/L/N - Your last name  
> Y/H/C - Your hair colour  
> Y/E/C - Your eye colour

You smoothed down your new white pussy-bow blouse and long pleated black skirt, which you had brought especially for this afternoon as you made your way up the very long drive-way towards the biggest house you had probably ever seen in your life.  
The clothes had been a bit of a splurge, and were more than you could really afford at the moment, but you really wanted to make a good first impression, as you desperatly wanted this job, given how good the pay was that was advertised for it in the paper.  
You hadn't told your mother who the employer in question was though, Thomas Shelby, as she would of never of let you come if she knew.  
Everybody in Birmingham knew who the infamous Shelbys were, the well known family of dangerous gangsters known as the peaky blinders that the whole country were afraid of.

You can't remember what had possessed you to even ring up for an interview, but like you said, the pay was very generous and you needed a job, so you told your mother that the interview this afternoon was for being a nanny to an infant son of some lord and lady, not the well known gangster.  
You felt awful about lying to her, you had actually never lied to her ever before in your entire life, but you really needed this job and it would only worry her sick if she knew that her daughter was within touching distance of the famous peaky blinders, they were known to take their enemy's eyes out for goodness sake.  
You suddenly felt a wave of fear wash over you at the thought, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, you could always just turn around and get the bus back home.

I mean, his own wife got shot dead here, in this very house, just over two months ago.  
Apparently word all over town was that they were hosting a charity event for her new local orphanage opening in Birmingham, the Grace Shelby Institute, when a member of a mafia type organisation tried to kill Thomas Shelby, but his wife got shot dead instead, and the peaky blinders murdered the shooter right there and then, in this very house.  
You gulped, maybe it was best if you did turn around and go home now.  
But for some reason, you walked through the big large doors in front of you. 


	2. Chapter 2

The house was just as grand on the inside as it was on the outside.  
You looked up at the massive portraits on the walls.  
One was of who you assumed must be Thomas Shelby, standing proudly next to a dark horse.  
Another was who you figured must of been his late wife Grace, she had wavy golden blonde hair like a film star and was wearing a beautiful elegant dress, she was absolutely stunning.  
How awful that she had been killed in such a horrible manner, and leaving behind such a young child.  
Suddenly you heard footsteps, someone wearing high heeled shoes, approaching you.  
It was a very tall, slender lady, with short dark wavy hair, who was carrying herself in a rather professional manner.  
" Hello, are you Miss y/l/n,... here for the 2 o'clock interview for the nanny position? " she asked you.  
" Oh hello,... um yes,... yes I am" you nervously replied.  
" Please follow me,.. " she replied with a warm smile, as she then led you to a nearby room.  
" Just wait here please,...? " she then asked you, as she knocked on the door.  
You just nodded as a reply, as you nervously watched her enter the room.  
All you could hear was muffled voices, but you then managed to make out a male voice say, " Ok,... send her through then Lizzie".  
The lady, who was obviously called Lizzie, then came back out, smiling widely again at you.  
" They are ready for you now" she told you, holding the door open for you to walk through.  
They are ready for you now,... god how many of them were there you thought,..your nerves building up inside of you.  
" Thank you" you nervously replied, giving her a small smile as you walked into the room and she shuts the door behind her.  
The room seemed to be an office, with two people at the opposite side sitting behind a big desk.  
One was a tall, handsome man, he looked around in his mid 30's, with dark hair and piercing blue eyes, wearing an expensive looking suit.  
He was definitely the man from the portrait.  
He looked tired, fed up and almost annoyed, and you noticed a glass of whisky in front of him.  
Beside him was a woman, she looked around middle aged, and she had a glamorous look about her, lovely brown hair styled in a classy bob and big pretty brown eyes, but there was also a sternness to her as well.  
She was wearing bold red lipstick and was smoking a cigarette from behind the desk.  
As you walked forward towards them both, you noticed how she looked you up and down intently, which only increased your nerves.  
" Hello, I'm y/n, y/l/n,.... I'm here acquiring about the nanny position" you smile at them, trying to sound as confident and professional as possible, even though inside you were shaking like a leaf.  
" Hello Miss y/l/n,... please take a seat" the man replies to you in a broad birmingham accent, as he signals with his arm at the chair on the other side of the desk.  
You make your way forward to sit down on the chair as he continues to speak.  
" My name is Mr Shelby, and I'm Charles's father, and this is Ms Polly Gray, who will be conducting this interview with me this afternoon" he begins as you smile at them both.  
You notice Polly looking at you intently.  
" So what experience do you have at being a nanny Miss y/l/n" Tommy asks you.  
You explain how you did your work experience at your local village hall in the summer, taking care of around 20 to 30 children at a time, single handedly most of the time, doing learning activities with them and how you also volunteer helping out at the schools with children's reading and writing as well as their mathematics.  
" But you have never been a nanny in an actual household before,? " Polly asks you rather bluntly.  
You explain not, but how you have all the attributes to be able to successfully be perfect for the role, as you have successfully taken care of handfuls of children, all at the same time as work experience while you have been looking for your first permanent position as a nanny, as you hand them over your references from your bag, which Tommy takes and rather un-euthastically starts looking through them, as if he felt it to be a waste of his time.  
" Your the youngest candidate we have had apply for the job,... why should we choose you over candidates who have had far more experience than you?" Polly asks you, rather bluntly again.  
God,... you get a horrible feeling that this isn't going so well at all.  
You pause, you really don't know what more you can say.  
" I just know that one day when I am finally successful at obtaining my first job as a nanny, that I can promise that the safety and well fare of that child will be my biggest and most important priority, above all else, after all, isn't that what should be the most important aspect if you really are a competent nanny" you reply.  
You notice that this causes Tommy to look up and pause at you for a moment, as if he was lost in deep thought.  
" Thank you for attending today Miss y/l/n, if you don't mind, I will hold on to these references and we will let you know by post if you have been successful within the next few days" Tommy abruptly finishes the interview.  
You stand up, feeling relieved that this awful experience was now over.  
They both then shake your hand, and you thank them for their time as you notice Polly looking you up and down rather intently again before you quickly shuffle out of the room all red faced and flustered, thankful that the ordeal was now over.  
You then make your way home, telling yourself that there was no way on earth that you had got that job, but hey,... you had just met the famous Thomas Shelby, you laughed to yourself to cheer yourself up. 

However three days later you received a letter through the post.  
" We would like to offer you the position as a full time nanny in our household, to start immediately". 

Oh my god.... ...


	3. Chapter 3

Today was your first day, and by god you were so nervous.  
You had finally got your first job ever as a nanny, what you had been working so hard for, for a while now, volunteering at primary schools and summer clubs with no pay just to achieve references like your mother had told you too, it was what she had to do when she was your age she would often tell you when you had moaned about it, but now you had finally been successful and finally got a nanny job.  
However, you were now more than likely going to be treading within the world of the infamous peaky blinders.  
You had heard so many scary stories about them, Arthur, the eldest brother, was said to be pretty much insane, "a screw loose" you had heard many call him, and "a absolute fucking nutter" others had said, and his younger brother John was meant to be just as violent.  
But you could dwell and panic about it all you want, or you could just go to work and get on with your new job, praying for the best.

You arrived at the house, and again you were greeted by Lizzie, who told you to take a seat while she got Tommy to show you around and to introduce you to Charlie.  
Tommy finally came out to greet you, he seemed more friendlier this time round then he did in the interview, and even approached you with a smile.  
" Miss y/l/n,..." he spoke as he greeted you, " we are very glad to have you here as a member of this household and as nanny to my son."  
" Thank you so much for employing me Mr Shelby, I can't wait to meet Charlie" you answered.  
He gave you a short smile, and then lit up a cigarette as he began to show you around the house.  
It was fricking huge, and you panicked that you were sure to keep getting lost.  
" Your home is so beautiful but I may need a map for the first few weeks to remember where every room is" you nervously told him.  
" You know what, that's exactly what my brother Arthur use to say, he was forever getting lost in here, we could lose him for hours not knowing where he was" he chuckled.  
You smiled as he then introduced you to Mary, who was the Head maid and then he escorted you up to the nursery.  
You had to admit, he was quite a charming man, he seemed very down to earth and sincere, and didn't make you feel like you were in any kind of danger at all.  
As you both entered the nursery, you saw Charlie sitting on the floor, playing with wooden toy trains.  
" Da-da" the infant called out, putting his hands up in the air for his father to pick him up.  
"Hello Charlie" Thomas said, picking his son up in his arms, " I would like you to meet miss y/l/n, she is going to be your new nanny, and she is going to be looking after you while daddy is busy with business".  
You leaned forward and smiled at the child.  
" Hello Charlie, my name is y/n, its so very nice to meet you, I've been looking forward to finally meeting you and I can't wait for us to get to know each other properly " you say as you smile at him and shake his little hand.  
The child just stares back at you blankly for a moment, and looks down at you shaking his little hand in wonder, before he then let's out a string of child like giggles and shakes his arms about, giggling in a playful way.  
Tommy stares at you, then gives a small smile.  
Tommy then starts telling you all of Charlie's day to day routines and so on as you begin to take note. 

Finally, at the end of the day, he mentions the absence of Charlie's mother, his late wife Grace.  
He very quickly elaborates on her death, saying that she died very suddenly and unexpected two months ago, and you can visably see the pain and distress on his face and in his voice just talking about it, like it was something he had to address with you but definitely didn't want to talk about.  
You tell him your very sorry for his loss and he just nods and looks away, and you clearly get the message, it was far too much for him to talk about.  
He then mentions the rest of his family, and how they were a very close family and how they will all regularly be here and that you will meet them all soon.  
He mentions his brothers Arthur, John and Finn and his sister Ada and the lady in your interview who was his Aunt Polly, who has a son called Michael, who is his cousin.  
He explained how they were a close family business too, Polly was the company treasurer, and her son Michael was the chief accountant, and his sister Ada was head of legal acquisitions.  
He never mentions what his brothers did within the company,... you could only imagine it wasn't legal.  
As he started leading you back to the main part of the house, a middle aged dark haired man wearing a flat cap and a neckcheif approaches with a happy and friendly manner.  
" Tommy,.... I've been looking for you everywhere man" the man spoke, in a strong Irish accent.  
" Alright Johnny, I'm coming now" Tommy replies to him.  
Johnny then stops and smiles widely at you.  
" Well hello there ma'am" Johnny addresses you, with a wide grin on his face.  
" y/n,... this is Johnny,... Johnny Doggs, a dear friend of mine and he lives here on my estate down by the river in his wagon and he is in here most days so you will constantly see him roaming about the place,... and Johnny, this is miss y/n, y/l/n,... she is going to be working here from today as Charlie's nanny" Tommy told him.  
" Well nice to meet ya ma'am,... I look forward to seeing you around" he said to you, with a wink.  
" Nice to meet you too" you smiled back at him.  
" Now Tommy, about that thing,... " he nodded weirdly at Tommy, and extended his eyes towards Tommy's office.  
" Excuse me please y/n" Tommy then said to you, as he then made his way towards the office with Johnny Doggs.  
" Yeah sure,.. " you replied as you watched them leave, as Johnny Doggs then gives you a nod and another smile on their way out.  
You wondered what that was about, but you figured it was definitely best not even knowing.

You first day seemed to go really well, and you leave pretty happy,... it definitely wasn't as bad or as terrifying as you had expected after all.


	4. Chapter 4

You had almost done your first week as a nanny, and it was going pretty well, you would even say you were really enjoying it.  
Thomas Shelby had been totally welcoming towards you, as had all of the other staff that worked there, and Charlie had really took to you, and you really loved him as well.  
It was now Friday, and you were feeling a lot more confident, and started feeling like you were really settling in.  
" y/n... y/n... look... car... car .. brum brum" Charlie giggled at you, pointing out the window  
" Yes a car.... I wonder if its daddy " you replied as you looked out the window with him.  
" Da-da" he smiled as you picked him up in your arms, looking out of the window.  
There were quite a couple cars that had just drove down the estate and just parked on the driveway.  
You saw Tommy get out of one of the cars from the driver's seat, and from the passenger seat of his car, you noticed Polly, who you had not seen since your interview, get out of the other side.  
A bunch of men started getting out of the other cars, as well as a young attractive lady with brown hair in a classy looking fur coat.  
They must of been all of his brothers and his sister, you assumed.  
" Da - da" Charlie giggles again, as he grabs a handful of your long, loose wavy y/h/c hair, and pulls at your dress.  
" yes, daddy's home" you tell him, kissing him on the forehead, leaving a rose coloured lip print on the top of his head from your lipstick, which you quickly wipe away.  
You then start to hear voices making there way nearer to the room, as you start rocking Charlie in your arms.  
" Hello Charlie, my boy" you hear Tommy say as he enters the room and extends his arms out to take his son from you.  
"Da-da" Charlie repeats, as you hand him over to Tommy.  
" Hello again y/n,.. I see you've settled in" Polly says to you, placing her bag on the side.  
" Hello again, Mrs Gray" you reply, with a smile.  
" Please, call me Polly" she sternly replies.  
" Everyone this is y/n, Charles's new nanny, please make her feel welcome, and y/n, you have already met Pol,.... this is my sister Ada...".  
" Hello, nice to meet you" Ada smiles warmly at you.  
" Hello,.... you too" you smile back at her.  
" And these are my brothers Arthur, John and Finn..." he says as he points at each one of them in order of their names.  
"Alright Miss" Arthur says with a grin.  
" Yeah,... Alright" John also says, and they both then turn and look at each other and started to laugh.  
What are they laughing at, you began to panic.  
You see Tommy rolls his eyes at them as he carries on, " and this is my cousin Michael,...Polly's son".  
" Hello" you then smile over at Michael, feeling seriously uncomfortable with Arthur and John's giggling.  
Michael doesn't even reply, he just stares back at you intently.  
" OK, you can finish for the evening if you like y/n" Tommy then says to you.  
" Oh ok,.. thank you Mr Shelby" you reply, secretly relieved, as you had started to feel extremely uncomfortable in all of their presence, " I'll see you first thing on Monday"  
He then gives you a slight nod in response.  
" Bye Charlie" you then say to the boy in Tommy arms,  
" I'll see you soon" you say as you lightly stroke the infant's hair.  
" Bye,.." you finally say out loud, addressing the whole room as you then go to leave.  
" Bye,.. " only Ada replies back to you, as she gives you a small smile.  
As you make your way through the door, you notice that Michael was still watching you intently as you leave the room.  
You notice his attractiveness as you walked passed him, and as he glared at you, you felt your stomach flip as you hurried out of the room quickly.  


When you arrive at the hallway to collect your coat and bag, you then hear fits of laughter coming from the room you had just left.  
What we're they all laughing at,... we're they laughing at you?  
You got a little closer to the door to try and make out what they were saying.  
" Well,... Johnny Doggs did say that she was one hell of a looker" you heard Arthur laugh.  
" Now that's what I call a Nanny,... where you find her from Tom,... there were no nanny's that looked like that in our day" you then hear John also laugh.  
" Alright boys,... calm down,... don't burst a blood vessel for god sake" you then hear Polly say in a sarcastic tone.  
You then quickly made your way out of the house, before they could find you listening,..... as that would be embarrassing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys,
> 
> This story is about how the reader meets the Shelby family and how the reader and Michael fall in love with each other, and for the majority of it, it will be told from the reader's point of view (pov), however I thought I would include some chapter's from Michael's pov as well, just to show the full perspective of their feelings for each other throughout the story.
> 
> Enjoy. xx

Michael's POV

Michael drove up the long drive-way of Tommy's house, following Tommy's and John's car's in front of him.  
He silently scoffs under his breath at John's driving in the car in front of his, sometimes he could drive like a manic, like it was a race or something.  
" I swear, one day John is going to drive that bloody car right through that front window if he doesn't slow down,.. and then Tommy will kill him if he ends up parking his car in his living room" Ada states, from the passenger seat.  
Michael chuckles as he parks up and gets out of the car and Ada gets out from the other side.  
It was Friday evening, and they were all round Tommy's for drinks and dinner.  
It had felt like a really long week at work, Tommy had given Michael a new project to manage on top of his usual workload and all he wanted to do now was to wind down and relax with a cigar and some whiskey.  
" We'll get the guns out this weekend, 'ay Finn,.... get the guns out and teach you how to shoot some fucking pheasants" Arthur bellows on the drive-way, making shooting gestures up at the sky with his arms and hands, before grabbing Finn by the shoulders, and giving him a light slap around his head.  
" Ow,... Fucking hell" Finn moans.  
" Alright Finn,.... grow a pair of fucking balls" John laughs.  
As Michael shuts the car door, he briefly notices a female figure in the window wearing a long dress, holding what seemed to be Charlie in her arms and pointing at them all from behind the nets in the window.  
However he discards it as he follows the rest of his family into the house.

Tommy is the first one to enter the living room, as the others follow behind him, and Michael watches as Tommy says out loud, " Hello Charlie, my boy" as he extends his arms out to take his son from the girl who was soothingly rocking him in her arms in a loving, soft and gentle manner.  
Michael's eyes then fell on the girl, who was around the same age as himself, who automatically handed Charlie back over to Tommy.  
She was beautiful,... actually,... she was absolutely stunningly beautiful.  
She had beautiful long y/h/c hair that fell perfectly around her shoulders in soft loose curls, and the way the evening sun through the window fell upon her made it looked as if the colour of her hair was glistening with the reflection of the sun light on it.  
She had the most beautiful big y/e/c eyes that he had ever seen, they were actually hypnotising, the way they were fringed with her long black eyelashes and they seemed to sparkle upon her soft, beautiful face.  
His eyes then fell to her mouth, small and cute with full, soft looking pink lips, like little rose petals at the bottom of her face,... as his eyes then trailed down to her body, ...her hair surrounding her soft and rounded looking busom, the skin showing through her dress looking so soft and gentle to touch, as her dress fitted perfectly against all the womanly curves of her body.  
" Hello again y/n,... I see you've settled in" he hears his mother say to her, breaking him from his trance of her.  
Y/N,.... her name was y/n.  
" Hello again, Mrs Gray" she replies, her voice soft and sweet,.. and she then smiles, a nervous smile, like she is unsure of herself, but such a pretty smile,... it was like the sun would always shine as long as it saw her smile.  
" Please,... call me Polly" his mother then replies, and then Tommy announces to everyone that she is Charles's new nanny and for everyone to make her feel welcome as he starts introducing everyone to her in the room, and as he gets to Arthur and John, they start laughing between themselves.  
Michael notices how she notices them laughing, and how she begins to awkwardly shift about on the spot where she stood, like she was slightly nervous of them.  
" and this is my cousin Michael, Polly's son" Tommy then says, as he finally gets to him.  
" Hello" she says, as her eyes land upon him and she smiles at him.  
Her smile really was like the sun shining, and Michael finds himself unable to know what to do in response, and he seems to get himself lost with just staring at her.  
"Ok, you can finish for the evening if you like y/n" Tommy says to her.  
" Oh ok, thank you Mr Shelby, I'll see you first thing on Monday" she replies to him.  
Michael feels a little bit relieved, he didn't know why but her being in the same room as him was having a strange effect on him, like his heart was beating a little bit faster than it usually did and he felt slightly anxious, like he was unsure of what to do with himself all of a sudden.  
He intently studies her as she says goodbye to Charlie, and as she lightly strokes the little lad's hair tenderly, Michael feels a flutter in his stomach, she seemed so soft and gentle,.. like such a sweet and genuinely nice young lady.  
She finally says goodbye to the whole of the room, and as she heads towards the door, he notices how she seems to carry herself in a nervous manner, and in a way that was so intriguing to him.  
As she leaves the room, her eyes fall upon him again,... those beautiful eyes,... and she holds eye contact with him, not for too long, but it was long enough and intense enough for it to send strange feelings throughout Michael's body.  
After she had left the room, John and Arthur start laughing, and Michael turns to look at them, not knowing why he feels so annoyed at them for doing so.  
"Well,... Johnny Doggs did say she was one hell of a looker" Arthur laughs.  
"Now that's what I call a Nanny,... where you find her from Tom,... there were no nanny's that looked like that in our day" John also laughs.  
Michael didn't know why but he felt this sense of annoyance at his cousin's admiring her,... yet he had no idea why...he didn't even know her... and she could have a boyfriend or even be married for all he knew... so he didn't know why he felt such a strange feeling like this, one in which he had never felt before,....especially after just meeting someone for the first time.  
" Alright boys,... calm down,... don't burst a blood vessel' he hears his mother say to them.  
They just laugh in response, as they make their way over to where the whiskey and glasses were.  
" You dirty old dog, John boy" Arthur chuckles as they begin to pour the drinks.  
" Yes John,... women aren't just pieces of meat for you to ogle at, you know " Ada scoffed at her brother.  
Michael tries to shrug off the recent thoughts of her that had just been going through his mind,... but he couldn't help but wonder as he joins the others.... .he was sure that she definitely did look at him in a certain way.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the reader's pov

" Open wide, that's it, choo choo train, coming through" you smiled at little Charlie.  
He giggled in response as he opened his mouth wide, to allow the spoon of food that you had in your hand into his mouth.  
" Good boy... is that nice? " you say, as the little boy gives you a childlike laugh in reply.  
You had been employed as his nanny for nearly a month now, and things had been going really well and you and Charlie had really bonded.  
Charlie was a good and cheerful little boy, he hardly ever threw tantrums, he was very playful and was obsessed with toy trains and horses.  
He would also get very excitable whenever he saw his dad, and it was obvious that Tommy loved his son very much.  
Charlie also seemed to have quite the soft spot for Johnny Doggs, who was always around the house every day and would play horses with him, to let you off for your lunch break.  
Suddenly you heard footsteps coming down the steps into the kitchen, assuming it might be Johnny Doggs to see the little lad, but then Polly, Ada and Michael came into your view.  
Michael, oh god, you thought.  
He had been at the house a couple of times now since you had started.  
He would often come with his mother or cousins and you couldn't deny that you had a serious crush on him.  
You didn't know why but your stomach always seemed to do summersaults whenever he was around.  
Actually you probably did know why, it was probably due to the fact that you were very attracted to him.  
And what also didn't help was how mysterious he was.  
He had never yet actually spoke to you, it was always the other members of the family that would speak to you, but he would always just stare at you, and it was the way he would stare, it was so intense with the way his eyes would focus on you and how his jaw would clench and just how he carried himself.  
You found him sexy as hell.  
And you didn't know if it was just in your head, but there did seem to be this unspoken atmosphere between you both, and constant eyes locking with each other for a bit longer than usual or maybe you were just imagining it.  
Maybe in fact he didn't like you, and that's why he glared at you sometimes, maybe he thought that you were weird or stupid or something.  
But all you knew was that for some reason, Tommy's cousin made your heart beat a lot faster whenever he was in the same room as you.  
" Hello Charlie" Ada cooed at the toddler.  
Michael walked towards the kitchen work top, his eyes again glaring at you sitting besides Charlie, but there seem to be no expression on his face, and you felt yourself burn up under his glare.  
" It's your Aunty Ada, yes it is" Ada continued as Charlie responded to her with a big grin and fits of laughter.  
" Hi y/n " Ada then said, turning to adknowledge you.  
" Hi" you smiled, as you then turn to look at Polly and Michael.  
Michael continues to look at you, before he turns and started filling up some water in the kettle, again not saying a word to you.  
" how is he doing? " Polly asks you, as she sits down and kisses the child on the forehead and softly strokes his head.  
" oh he has been fine" you reply, " we are just in the middle of lunch, and Charlie here has been doing really well, he has nearly finished it all up," you smiled.  
" Good boy, Charlie" Polly says.  
" Is Tommy here, or has he attended the office today?" Ada asks you.  
" Oh I don't know" you reply, " he was still here at around 11 this morning but I'm not sure if he has since left" you tell them.  
" I'll go up and check if he is still here" Polly says, and she exits the room.  
" yeah and I will be about two minutes, there is just something I need to collect from his study,... I'll have two sugars in mine please, Michael " Ada said to Michael, referring to him boiling the kettle, and with that, she had also left the room.

And just like that, they were both gone, leaving you and Michael alone together in the room.

You had never ever been alone with him before, let alone ever have a conversation with him before.  
All of a sudden, the silence in the room felt deafening, and you felt the nerves tingle throughout your body.  
Oh god... do I just sit here and not say anything making it extra awkward between us or shall I say something!!!  
You carried on feeding Charlie, his little gurguls being the only noise in the room, until you heard the kettle finish, followed by Michael clearing his throat.  
" Would you like a cup of tea, y/n" he all of a sudden asked you.  
He knew your name.  
" oh yes please, thank you" you smile at him.  
He turns to look at you, and he gives you a small smile in return.  
" do you take milk and sugar?" he asked as he began to pour into the China tea cups.  
" milk and just one sugar please" you smiled as he silently nodded in response.  
As he handed you your cup, and you went to take it from him, your hand and his hand brushed against one another's, and you both locked eyes with each other briefly, before you shyly looked away as you felt yourself shiver inside at the contact.  
" Thank you" is all you manage to get out of your mouth.  
There was another awkward silence again for a few seconds.  
" So, how are you settling in here? " he asked you, his eyes seeming to scan your face intently, and you felt yourself blushing as he sits down opposite you.  
You clear you throat, nervously.  
" yes I'm settling in ok, thank you,... everyone seems so nice who works here, and Charlie here is a little angel aren't you mate... so that makes my job so much easier" you reply, smiling at the child who was staring back at you both.  
Michael smiles at Charlie, and then ruffles his hands through the boys hair playfully, and Charlie giggles in response.  
You find yourself getting lost in watching him do so and smiling without even realising it.  
" So... Mr Shelby,... I mean your cousin, Tommy... says that you work as an accountant at his company" you ask him.  
" Cheif Accountant" he corrects you, " and yeah, I work with Tommy on the majority of all aspects in the business" he tells you, and you get a strong sense of ambition from him.  
"Oh wow, that sounds... like important stuff" you nervously giggle with a small smile.  
He stares back at you intently, and finally gives you a small smile back and a slight nod in return.  
" I've always been good with numbers and figures" he tells you.  
" Oh I'm the opposite, I was never really that keen on mathematics at school, I loved reading and writing instead" you laugh.  
" and you obviously enjoy working with children too" he says, gestering to Charlie.  
" yeah, I think it's all I have ever really wanted to do" you reply.  
He stares at you intently again, and gives you a soft smile.  
Suddenly the sound of high heels can be heard making their way back down the kitchen stairs, and Polly and Ada re enter the room.  
" he's not here, he must be at the office" Polly calls over to him.  
" Right, ok then" Michael says, as his voice suddenly changes to a more deeper and stern tone from the tone he was just talking to you in, "we better drive over there now then as I need to get it signed by the end of business tonight" he states as he gets up from his chair.  
" So much for my cup of tea, hey" Ada says, as she flashes you a small smile.  
" I'll see you around here again soon then" Michael then says, turning to look at you.  
" Yes, definitely" you smile.  
You both hold eye contact with each other for a little bit too longer than considered usual, and both of you seem to pause at each other, and as he gives you a quick nod as a final goodbye, you think you notice Polly and Ada sense the atmosphere between the two of you.  
You see Ada give Polly a weird look before she follows Michael out of the room, and then Polly glances over at you questionably just as she goes to leave as well.  
" Right, bye then y/n" Polly says, staring intently at you.  
" Yes, bye" you smile before looking away, embrassed that she may have sensed your attraction to her son.  
You hear her high heels fade away into the distance, and you let out a deep breath, like you could finally breathe again now they had gone.  
Your thoughts began to wonder.  
Was there something there between you both, or was it all just in your head because you fancied him, or was he just being friendly and civil because he had to make small talk with you because he was alone with you.  
But he does seem to stare a bit too long at you, you tried to tell yourself.  
What if he does like you too?  
And Polly and Ada obviously seemed to of sensed something between you both as well from the looks on both of their faces.  
Oh but what if Polly didn't want her son socialising with "one of the staff".  
His mother did carry herself with a sense of superiority, you had thought that from when you first met her.  
You sighed, you could fret all you liked, he could even have a girlfriend for all you knew.  
You knew that Arthur and John were married but you had noticed that Michael had no wedding ring on his finger from the last time he was here, when you had deliberately scanned his fingers for one sneakily, but it still didn't mean he didn't have a girlfriend.  
The thought of if he did though bothered you more than you liked.  
You should try and stop thinking about him, you thought, you will only more than likely get hurt, you told yourself.  
And then you went to wash up after Charlie had finished his lunch, where you noticed Michael's cup of tea was still sitting there, and it had been totally untouched.


	7. Chapter 7

" Oh are you sure, I mean yes, definitely, that's really kind of you to invite me, of course I'll come" you reply to Tommy with a smile.  
" Well, you been a god send with Charlie over these past few months, you really have, your doing wonders with him, and he always seems so happy and content, I really feel like I don't have to worry about him anymore when I'm not here and I really do appreciate it, especially after.....everything that has happened this year" Tommy says, and you get the silence reference to the death of his wife, and you saw the pain in his eyes.  
" Oh... Thank you Mr Shelby" you smile, as you begin to put your coat on.  
" I mean you could bring your partner as well, as a plus one too if you like, that's completely fine" Tommy continued.  
" Oh no, I don't have a partner, it's just me....well me and my mom" you smile.  
" Well your more than welcome to bring you mom y/n" Tommy smiles.  
" Thank you Mr Shelby" you smile, "and I'll see you tomorrow", and you head out to go and catch your bus home.

Thomas Shelby had just invited you to attend a dinner party of his, for some business campaign.  
You were very flattered, but if you were honest, you really didn't want to go at all, but how could you of got out of it without it seeming rude and offending him, which you really didn't want to do, after all, he was your boss and had given you a job.  
You weren't very good with social events, you were always so nervous, and this would be even more awkward as not only would you not really know anybody there, you could only assume that Michael would definitely be there with the rest of Tommy's family.  
You had seen Michael a few times since you had spoke to him for the first time in the kitchen that day, but only on just a few of those occasions, he had just uttered a simple hello or goodbye to you when your paths had crossed again at Tommy's house, whereas on the others, he had just gazed at you briefly when he had been with the other members of his family.  
Maybe it had been all in your head, or maybe he did have a girlfriend, some beautiful, gorgeous girlfriend after all, how could he not, or maybe Polly had told him not get involved with you, after all, you were probably just mere staff to them.  
You stomach dropped a little, at the thought of having to face not only Michael but all of them in a social setting, especially since John and Arthur slightly frightened you, and Polly made you feel like an ant, and to make things even more worse, you would be on your own.  
Well you couldn't bring your mom, she thought you were a nanny to a lord and lady's young son, not the famous birmingham's gangster's, you would give her a heart attack.  
And you couldn't really ask one of your friends, as they would probably go into sheer panic and fear at the thought of going into the home of the peaky blinders, as well as that the last time they held an social event, the wife of their leader was shot dead.  
Fucking great!!

You buy yourself a new dress for the event, as you didn't really have any dresses fancy enough for an event like this in your wardrobe.  
You decided to settle on a traditional little black dress, after all, you couldn't really go wrong what that.  
It was a classy design too, with lace see through sleeves and a lace see through back.  
You got your hair coloured and nails painted to fit the glamorous look, which would probably fit all of the guests that would attend something like this you assumed, as you put on some sliver diamond drop earrings, your mother's favourite pair, and a long twisted pearl necklace, which was all the fashion with ladies today.  
You wore your hair down in loose soft curls with a beautiful crystal and floral sliver hair pin on the one side.  
You did your makeup, foundation, mascara, lip stick and bit of blush and you were finally ready, well you weren't, you really didn't want go, as you sprayed yourself with perfume for the final touches. 

You enter the large ball room of Tommy's house, you had never been in here before, it was never used on a day to day basis and there was never really any reason for you to ever go in there.  
I suppose this is what being a gangster can get you, you thought to yourself, as you walk through the grand room that looked like it should of belonged inside a royal palace.  
Most of time when you were at work, it was easy to forget that you were within a gangster's home and life, Tommy was always so polite and civil to you, and the maid's and chef's that also worked there were just normal, working class people like yourself, and as for Charlie, he was just a sweet and innocent little boy, that it made it so easy to just sometimes forget about the fact that you were involving yourself into the lives of the Notorious Peaky blinders.  
You notice Tommy in a suit and bow tie, talking to a bunch of well dressed men you had never seen before.  
You just didn't know what to do with yourself.  
You notice Ada across the room, she was with Lizzie, the only other face that you recognised, and two other women.  
The one woman had wavy blonde hair and a champagne coloured flapper dress on, and the other had very long dark hair, and was wearing a gyspy kind of dress with lots of jewellery, and was heavily pregnant and slouching on a chair looking fed up.  
" Hi" you say nervously, and they all turn to look at you.  
" y/n,... hi" Ada smiles.  
Ada had always been so warm towards you.  
" Hi,... hi again" you then say to Lizzie, who smiles back at you.  
" this is y/n, Charlie's nanny" Ada then says to the other two women, " y/n this is Linda, Arthur's wife" she says, gesturing to the blonde lady, " and this is Esme, John's wife" she continues, gesturing to the dark haired pregnant lady.  
" More like John's bloody human version of a bin to empty his balls into every night" Esme bluntly scoffs, gesturing to her large swollen stomach and you feel yourself blush at her bold choice of words.  
Ada and Lizzie laugh at her statement.  
" Esme please," Linda then says, "a baby is a gift from God...no matter how or in what way it came to be".  
" even when it was with your arse in the air, bent over a fucking desk on all fours, in a cold bloody stockroom because he was in the mood there and then or with your face shoved against a car fucking window in the early hours of the morning because he couldn't even be bothered to try to wait until he gets into the bloody house first because he would of passed out from all the whiskey by then" she replies.  
Oh my god, you thought, you had never heard women ever talk like this before.  
" Esme!!! " Lizzie laughs, followed by Ada, and you just nervously laugh to follow the same responses given from the others.  
" Do you have a man y/n? " Esme asks you.  
" Um,... no" you reply.  
" Well your still one of the lucky ones then... all women want at the beginning is a nice husband to look after us but what you really end up getting is sexist little pigs that just stay out all night, getting pissed up to their eyeballs and think all we are here for in the world is to open our legs whenever they get a bit randy" she replies.  
You chuckle nervously in response.  
" I'm sensing John has done something to piss you off then Esme" Ada says to her.  
Suddenly Polly approaches you all, as she makes her way through the guests.  
You didn't know why but you always felt so nervous around her.  
You notice her eyes focus on you as she gets to you all, before she turns to Ada.  
" The boys are in the other room playing snooker" Polly states.  
" That's where they have all got to then, Tommy wants them all here now as everyone is about to sit down to eat soon," Ada replies.  
" There are on their way... and they are ever so slightly drunk" Polly says, raising her hands in the air.  
" Oh christ" Ada exhales.

" Attention please Ladies and Gentlemen, can every please make their way into the dining room, as dinner will be being served very shortly" a man in a waiter's outfit, bellows out to the room of guests, before repeating the statement aloud a second time again.

Everyone made their way to the large dining room table in the other room, where the table had been laid out with name tags for where everyone needed to sit.  
Luckily when you founds yours, you were seated to the right of Lizzie so at least you were next to someone you kind of knew.  
As you sat yourself down, you saw through the door on the left hand side of the room, not the right hand door that yourself and everybody else entered from, came a large group of men, led by Arthur, John, Finn and Michael, followed by Johnny Doggs, and from what you had learnt from working in this house for the past three months, we're fellow Peaky Blinders called Isaiah, his father Jeremiah, Charlie and Curly.  
Arthur and John especially, looked quite intoxicated.  
Tommy who was standing at the end of the large table while everyone was finding their seats and sitting down, had clocked them all come in from the other side of the house, and he started to say something to them and was pointing his finger.  
Your eyes fell on Michael who seemed to be scanning the whole length of the table with his own eyes intently as he made his way up the edge of the table, and all of a sudden, his eyes landed on you, and you felt yourself burn up and you instantly looked down at the decorations on the table.  
You didn't know why but you felt a bit of a fraud by being here, like you didn't belong here.  
As your eyes slowly rose up from the table to see where he had gone, you notice that Polly was now sitting in the chair exactly opposite you, smoking from her long cigarette holder, and Michael was sat right next to her, opposite Lizzie.  
Oh shit. ..how unbelievably awkward.  
His eyes were still on you, and you give him a quick slight smile before looking away towards the commotion that was going on near the top of the table.  
Arthur's voice could be heard throughout the whole of the large room, as he seemed to be drunkingly mouthing off about something, and John who was equally as drunk, was swinging his arms about.  
You noticed all of the other guests, who were members of other businesses and organisations around Birmingham, and seemed to be quite posh kind of folk, all stare uncomfortably at the scene unfolding in front of them at a social event.  
" Alright Arthur, alright... just sit down...ok... just sit yourself down and forget about it" you watched Tommy say to his older brother, pointing directly at him.  
Tommy said it in a calm and collected tone, but you could sense he was getting angry and stressed out.  
Arthur sat down beside his wife Linda, who looked embrassed at her husband's behaviour and shuffled in her seat.  
" I'll fucking tell ya..." Arthur began mumbling to himself, but also out loud in the room at the same time.  
" You too, just sit the fuck down John" Tommy then says to his younger brother, who then seems to twist his face in a drunken annoyance and just chucks himself down on his seat next to his wife Esme, who just rolls her eyes and looks away from him.  
" Oh fucking hell... here it starts" Lizzie begins to laugh, leaning into your ear.  
You give her a "I know, right" look, as everyone now seems to be seated down except Tommy.  
Tommy then makes a speech, thanking all the businesses and organisations for being there tonight, and then starts talking about some new projects within his business.  
You don't really understand what most of the speech is about, and your eyes begin to linger along the table among all of the guests who were staring at Tommy and listening to his speech.  
Your eyes sneakily land on Michael, who to was watching Tommy giving his speech intently.  
You manage to get a sneaky little glance at him for a few seconds, he looked so handsome.  
You wondered if he didn't have a girlfriend after all, as if she did exist, she wasn't with the other girls and wives when you were with them all earlier, and it was just all of the guys that came from the other side of the house earlier before the dinner, and there was no female sitting beside him, other than his mother, and the table seemed to of sat all spouses next to each other, you had noticed.  
You kind of had this flash of hope that he couldn't of, and then you asked yourself, why were you even thinking like this, they were gangsters, dangerous gangsters for goodness sake, were you totally mad???  
But you just couldn't get rid of the way your stomach did backflips whenever he was around you, like right this very moment.  
All of sudden, he must of felt your eyes on him, as he turned and looked directly back at you, and you quickly turned to look back at Tommy.  
Shit.... you thought,... he just caught me looking at him.  
You decided to look ahead of you, to pretend like you were just randomly looking around the table, so he didn't think you were a complete obsessed weirdo, and as you glanced over at Polly opposite you, she was also looking directly at you, holding eye contact with you, as she smoked from her cigarette holder slowly.  
Oh double shit....had she also just clocked you yet again staring at her son, for a suspiciously long amount of time.  
Oh this was so awkward and uncomfortable, you just wanted a hole to swallow you up there and then, just so you could escape this room.  
Suddenly the room filled with the sound of everyone clapping,....  
Tommy must of finished his speech, so you just quickly joined everyone else by clapping along as well.  
You looked straight ahead back at Polly again who was also clapping but still staring intently back at you, before she turned back to look at Tommy.  
"yeeees Tommy,..fucking yes" Arthur yells out, and starts banging his hands on the table in a rhythm, and then John does the same followed by Finn, copying his older brothers.  
" Thank you brother" Tommy nods and then clears his throat as guests nervously smile at his brother's loud antics.  
Hired waiters then started bringing out the starters, and started putting bowls of soup and bread in front of everyone.  
Oh great, soup you thought, the most awkward thing to eat, especially with your crush sitting right opposite you.  
You started to eat, feeling uncomfortable with the silence around you, so you started up conversation with Lizzie beside you.  
You liked Lizzie, she was kind, friendly, and very funny and you two got on really well, and you tried to avoid making eye contact with Michael.  
The main dinner then arrived and you were thankful that you were now more than half way through the evening.  
Ada, who was sitting on the other side of Polly, then started addressing everyone around her and in ear shot of her about recent politics.  
" This decade will be the time for change, much needed, real social change..." Ada began.  
You notice how some guests around her rolled their eyes, mainly the upper class looking gentlemen.  
She carried on regardless and passionately in what she spoke about, and you couldn't help but admire her.  
" Here, here, Ada" Polly praised her niece, as she raised her glass of champagne in the air before taking a sip.  
Taking your eyes away from Polly, you shift your gaze to the side of her, to Michael.  
You looks at you back, and you both hold each other's gaze, and you give him a small unsure smile.  
He smiles back at you coyly, and you feel yourself blush.  
You definitely feel and sense "that something there" between you both.  
And as you look away, you notice Polly most certainly senses it too, as through the corner of your eyes, you see her look back and forth between you and her son.  
You look down embarrassed as you started to play around with your dessert using your fork nervously on your plate, as you try to avoid eye contact with her.  
You could never quite read Polly, she always seemed to have that stern look on her face, and you could never quite tell whether she liked you or not.  
You just didn't want to piss her off, especially when you seemed to be falling for her son.  
Luckily the three course dinner was now over and you could soon make your excuses to leave.  
People started getting up from their chairs and continuing drinking as you chatted away with Lizzie and Ada.  
You excuse yourself to leave for the toliet, and you head to the next floor of the house, at least through working here, you knew the way.  
You did need a wee, it was probably due to nerves, however you just wanted a bit of a quiet breather as well, as this evening had been quite intense.  
As you finished in the bathroom, washed and dried your hands, and exited the room, you were greeted to Michael standing outside, leaning against the wall.


	8. Chapter 8

Your eyes widen in shock at him being there, as you watch him straighten himself up from leaning against the wall, as he notices you exiting the bathroom.  
" oh hello. .." is all that manages to escape your mouth.  
" hello " he replies with a smile, as he steps closer towards you, and then stops very closely in front of you, so much so that you are nearly brushing each other.  
You feel your whole body rise dramatically in temperature, as you stand alone with him on the empty corridor.  
" are you enjoying tonight?" he then asks, leaning into you, and you smell the scent of whisky on his breath.  
" yes its um...... its been fun" you reply, his face so close to your own.  
He let's out a sarcastic laugh, like he didn't quite believe you.  
" no it hasn't... but your just too nice to say otherwise, aren't you? " he answers, and he then, ever so gently, he removes a strand of hair from around the front of your face with his fingers, in a slow, pondering motion.  
You gulp inside.  
" you look so beautiful tonight" he says, confidence within his tone, which seems to be enhanced from the alcohol in his veins, as he looks from your eyes down towards your lips.  
You hear his chest breathe a bit heavier, as does your own.  
You could either freeze like an idiot or reply to him.  
" really,... ?" you just laugh, like you didn't really believe him, " but thank you,... " you then smile.  
He stares at your mouth as you smile, and seems to pause on it.  
You just stare back at him, unsure as to what was going to happen next.  
"I've been watching you all night,.... your so.... mesmerising... do you know that?" he asks, and he gives you a smirk as he ever so softly strokes the skin on the top of your arm, that was revealing itself from your dress, with his thumb.  
At this point, you can do nothing but freeze, his touch feels like a thousand bolts of electricity on your skin, and however nervous you feel at this very second, you still feel this strong urge from inside of you, for him to continue.  
His eyes are fixed on your face, awaiting your reaction, and he leans in even more closer towards you, so your face's are almost touching each other's, and again, you can smell the strong smell of whiskey on his breath.  
His eyes focusing heavily on your mouth, like he was lost in a trance, he leans even more forward, and you get a strong sense of what might happen next, as you take in a deep breath to prepare yourself for it.  


" THERE YOU FUCKING ARE!!! " a voice suddenly yells up to you both.  
You jump a little, startled from being pulled away from your intimate encounter, as you see John walking towards the two of you from the other end of the corridor, with Johnny Doggs next to him.  
With Michael's body being so close to your own, you hear him sigh heavily, as he turns to face them, and you watch as he rolls his eyes at their sudden presence, and his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance and jaw clenched with irritation, as he steps back from you.  
" We have been looking everywhere for ya, boy" Johnny doggs says to him, as they stop when they approach you both.  
"Arthur right, he has only fucking gone and knocked the foreign bastard right out, he is right out fucking cold mate, Tommy's going fucking mental" John laughs, slapping his one hand against the other.  
"Honestly man, it's all kicking right off out there" Johnny doggs tells him.  
"Right...ok" Michael sighs, as he goes to walk away with them both.  
Just as they start to leave, he turns and gives you a small, annoyed looking smile, before giving you a small, slight nod as he then let's out a heavy sigh as he continues to walk away with them.  
You notice John looking confused at you both, like he had only just noticed your presence, as the three of them head off, leaving you there alone.  
"What the fuck were you up to anyway.... up the corner like that with the nanny" you hear John say to him, before they all disappear around the corner, out of view and ear shot.  


You go back downstairs to join Lizzie and Ada, and spend the rest of the evening talking to them and Linda and Esme, and getting to know them both.  
You don't see Michael again for the rest of the night and you head home after a few drinks with the girls.  
You get into your bed in the early hours of the morning, after taking your dress, jewellery and makeup off, glad that it was sunday morning, so you didn't have to get up early as you were exhausted.  
But however tired you were, you found yourself unable to sleep, a million thoughts spinning through your head, and all of them about Michael.


	9. Chapter 9

You watched carefully as Charlie played in the garden, playing along with him and his toys.  
All of a sudden, you noticed a car started driving towards the house.  
Your eyes darted to it and you tried to make out who the driver or passengers were in the car, but as the car pulled up outside the house, it was just a postman with a parcel delivery, that you watch Mary take in.  
This is what you had been like ever since the dinner party last weekend.  
Everytime that a car came on to the estate, you would instantly jump up and intently scan it, to see if it was Michael.  
You had not seen him since the dinner party, and you had not been able to get him off your mind.  
You kept playing it over and over again in your head,..... what he had said to you...... and what would, or could of happened if you both hadn't of been interrupted by his cousin John and Johnny doggs.  
You had even played out different scenarios in your head of what could of happened,.. and some were quite... x-rated.  
You had never felt like this before, about anybody,... and he was literally consuming your thoughts all of the time.  
You wondered if he had ever thought about you too, and you were extremely nervous about when you did next see him again.  
What would he be like with you,.. what would he say... would he be different... would it be awkward???  
You had made an effort to look your best everyday, in case today would be the day that you saw him again, to always make sure your hair and makeup was done immaculately, so that you looked perfect, for when you did see him again.  
You did hope it would be soon, you couldn't stop thinking about him, as you seriously could not get him out of your head.

And then a few days later, you were given a heads up from Mary, unintentionally, that Tommy was having his family over that evening and Charlie needed to be fed, bathed and put to bed early.  
You were just heading down from Charlie's room to go home, when you could hear them all, making their way into the house.  
" Hi y/n" Ada smiled at you, as she stood in the hallway with Polly, Linda and Esme.  
" Hiya" you replied, smiling at them all.  
They said all said hello to you and smiled back, except for Polly who stared intently at you, as usual.  
You didn't know why but she always made you feel so inferior, like she was judging you.  
" If your looking for Mr Shelby, he is just upstairs saying goodnight to Charlie" you say to them.  
All of a sudden, you heart skips a beat, when you see Michael come around the corner with Arthur, John and Finn, as they talk among themselves.  
A smile tries to find its way onto your face without you even realising it.  
You see Michael suddenly stop speaking among them as soon as his eyes land on you, and his eyes then seem to widen in size, and he goes from smiling about whatever he had just been discussing with his cousins, to just returning your gaze, expressionless.  
" Tommy's just upstairs with Charlie" Ada tells them.  
Arthur and John just nod in response to her, as they make their way into another room, followed by their younger brother Finn.  
You are grateful when you notice that Michael holds back from following them.  
Linda and Esme say their goodbyes to you then follow their husband's, along with Ada, and it just then leaves you, Michael and Polly, at the bottom of the stairs.  
You go and grab your coat and bag, and through the corner of your eye, you can see Michael hovering, and Polly giving him a look that you couldn't quite analyse before she walks away, in the direction of the others.  
You turn back around when she is out of sight and give him a smile  
" Hello, how are you?" you ask him warmly,... you want him to know that you were totally fine with him after his advances, the last time you saw him.  
" Yeah I'm good, and yourself?" he asks, he smiles but he seems nervous,..not like before.  
" Yeah I'm ok, thanks" you reply, studying his face,... you had been thinking about him non stop for over a week now and you wanted to memorize every part of him.  
He nods slightly,.... he doesn't seem as confident as he did that evening,.... and you feel a bit disappointed at that.  
Fucking John, you thought to yourself, if only Michael had continued that night,.. and didn't get interrupted by fucking John.  
Even though you were so nervous in his presence, and you really didn't want to embrass yourself... he had now given you the encouragement that you needed, that he did in fact, feel something for you as well, after what he had said to you and the way he had acted with you that night... so you decide that you were going to have to show him that you felt the same way too.  
You just have to think of how to actually say it.  
" I've been wanting to see you again actually" you say to him, making it up as you go along.  
He stares back at you, his eyes wide, he looked quite shocked.  
He doesn't say anything, and waits for you to continue.  
And you didn't even know what to say next, you hadn't thought that far ahead.  
Suddenly you hear footsteps coming down the stairs,... it was fucking Tommy.  
" Michael...you coming?" Tommy says to him.  


Oh come on... really... you think to yourself.... there was always a member of this family always lurking around, getting in the way.  


" yeah, I'm coming now Tommy" Michael replies, but his gaze still on you.  
" see you tomorrow y/n" Tommy then says to you, noticing that you had your coat on and was holding your bag, ready to leave.  
" yeah, see you tomorrow" you reply back to your boss, you might as well leave now, and it was way past your clocking off time anyway.  
Michael doesn't say anything, and just heads off with Tommy, in the direction of the room where everyone else was waiting for them.  
You sigh and huff to yourself, as you leave the house.  
Would anything even happen between the two of you, after all???


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to avoid any confusion:-  
> .  
> Her / You - are the same person (the reader)
> 
> It's just that the reader/you is referred to as "her" in the first part of the chapter as they are Michael's thoughts.

Michael's POV

Michael woke up the next morning after Tommy's dinner party with the most painful headache.  
He had drank way too much whiskey last night, and he threw his head back on the pillow with a groan, from the pounding feeling he was experiencing from the inside of his head.  
There had been a massive fight outside the house, Arthur had lost his temper and knocked someone out unconscious, and Tommy had tried to conceal it all away from the guests.  
All of last night's events came flooding back into his head.... as well as her.  
He felt all light headed when he cast his mind back to her.  
He knew that she was beautiful,.... but she had looked like an absolute goddess last night.  
He didn't know why she had such an effect on him, but he just needed to know more about her.  
He had known that she was coming to the party, he had hoped it would of been an opportunity to get to speak to her a bit better, get to know her a bit more.  
And he knew the reasons why... he knew it himself, that he wanted her.  
His mom knew that he liked her as well ,.... Polly always seemed to know everything.... mother's always do, Pol had told him.  
Polly had told him that she could sense that he liked y/n,... she also said that she could sense that y/n liked him too....again, mother's know everything she said,.... and Polly was good at sensing things and was usually always right.  
He was hoping that she was right about this one.  
When y/n had left the table after dinner to make her way to the bathroom, he had excused himself too.  
He had waited outside the bathroom for her, he didn't know what to achieve, but it was where he knew it would be quiet and away from everyone else, and the amount of alcohol in his bloodstream also had something to do with it.  
The whiskey then made him suddenly confess all of the secret things from the inside of his head about her, and as all of his private thoughts just came tumbling out of his mouth right in front of her without a care,.. a good amount of whiskey can do that... he decided to just go straight in there and kiss her, like he had been wanting to for ages.  
But fucking Arthur had to go and start something, and he was interrupted, just as he went in to try his luck.  


The next time he had saw you was at the house, with his family.  
He had been nervous about seeing you again and what you would be like with him the next time you saw each other.  
Your face had lit up in a smile though when you did see him and he decided to hold back as the others went off.  
You spoke first, asking him how he was.  
You were being really friendly with him, and didn't seem bothered by what had happened.  
Maybe you were just being friendly with him to be polite and to avoid any awkwardness, he wondered,.... or was it your way of saying you wanted him too.  
He just couldn't tell which one it was at the moment, but you were looking at him as if you wanted more,..he hoped.  
" I've been wanting to see you again actually" you say.  
He swears his heart skips a beat,... shit.. what is she about to say?  
And then yet again, you were both interrupted, by another one of his fucking cousins.  
Tommy had started to come down the stairs and told him to come along with him, and Michael sees the annoyance written on your face.  
He then leaves with Tommy, his mind wandering about the fact that you had just said that you had wanted to see him again, and wandering about what it was that you might of wanted to say to him.  


It was now past midnight, and everyone was on the whiskey and cigars.  
The guys were winding each other up, encouraged by the amount of alcohol they had already consumed, and talk had turned to women and sex.  
And then Arthur started winding Michael up about you.  
" Come on Michael, everyone has already picked up on it, this thing going on with you and that pretty little nanny that you have got your dirty little eye on...there is not one of us that hasn't noticed that you want to stick your cock in her" Arthur laughs, gulping his whiskey.  
Michael scoffs, embrassed, as he shakes his head, wondering how it was that obvious for all of them to of noticed.  
" Yeah, I found him up against the wall with her,.. it was just the two of them all alone in the hallway back at that dinner party the other week, with that sheepish fucking look you had on your face" John laughs, as he points at Michael with one hand, while puffing on his cigar with another.  
Tommy looks shocked, like he was the only one that didn't know about this.  
" What..." Tommy says surprised, as laughter comes from the other men.  
" I bet you have already had her then, haven't ya, already stuck yourself up between her legs, you sneaky dog" Arthur laughs.  
Michael sighs, and doesn't laugh with the others.  
" No, I haven't" Michael sighs, "nothing happened... "  
" But you wanted it too though " John chuckles, "before me and Johnny Doggs came and blocked your cock" he carries on laughing.  
" aww, Michael has got a crush on the nanny" Arthur mocks with a laugh.  
Polly overhears the laughter and gets involved.  
" Alright you pair, stop winding him up" Polly remarks.  
" what are you all laughing about?" Ada asks them all.  
" Michael wants to fuck the nanny" John laughs.  
Michael rolls his eyes and tuts, as he takes a gulp of his whiskey, both annoyed and embrassed that his whole family are suddenly fully aware of his growing feelings for you.  
" I must say, I had sensed that something between you and y/n was going on" Ada says to Michael.  
" Am I the only one that didn't know that all of this was going on, with a member of my staff, Charlie's nanny of all things" Tommy says.  
" Nothing is going on" Michael raises his voice.  
" Well, I like her, I think she is a lovely girl" Ada says.  
" That's exactly what I have said to him,... and it's so obvious that she likes him too" Polly replies.  
"She does make it pretty obvious, Michael" Ada agrees.  
" If I was you Mikey boy,... I'd get in there fast,. .. you'd be a fool if you didn't" Arthur tells him.  
" yeah, get in there before someone else beats you too it, ...girls looking like that won't stay single for long....if I was you, I would get in there while you have the chance" John agrees.  
However much Michael wasn't enjoying this conversation, he couldn't help but agree that they all had a point,.... he needed to make his move if he wanted you,...and he really did.... more than he could remember ever wanting anything else as much as he wanted you, right this very moment. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader's Pov

You made your way down the stairs from Charlie's room, the pretty floral dress that you were wearing was now totally covered in Charlie's sick.  
Charlie had been poorly all day and you had just finally managed to get him down for his afternoon nap, and now he was finally asleep after some medicine, you were heading downstairs to get a change of clothes.  
As you made your way down the stairs, you saw Polly and Lizzie in the corridor, making their way out of Tommy's office.  
Michael wasn't with them, and for once, you were thankful for that, considering the fact that you were fully covered in and smelling of Charlie's sick.  
" Hi y/n," Lizzie smiled at you, as she went down to the kitchen,... Polly holding back from following her.  
"Hi,.." you smiled back at Lizzie, watching her disappear round the corner.  
" Oh christ" Polly says to you, referring to the sick you were covered in.  
"Yeah...I know... Charlie hasn't been well all day,.. I think he has now managed to throw most of it up.. I've literally just managed to get him down for a sleep" you tell her.  
" Oh god,... your covered in it, darling" Polly replies.  
" Yeah, but luckily I have a spare dress that I keep down here... I've had this happen to me many times before with children, when they had been sick back when I was training, during my days at the summer school, and there were so many times that I was stuck like it all day, so now I always keep a spare pair of back up clothes with me, so I never get caught again" you smiled.  
She gave you a sweet smile back.  
" Your so good with Charlie....Tommy thinks a lot of you, you know" Polly says to you.  
" Oh thank you,.. I like it here so very much" you reply.  
She smiles again at you,.. and then you hear a bunch of male voices approaching from around the corner,.. and then, all of a sudden, you were faced with Michael, with his cousins Arthur, John and Finn.  
Oh Shit... Shit, Shit, Shit... you thought to yourself,... of all of the moments you could of possibly of seen him again.  
They all paused when they noticed you and Polly, and you see John, who suddenly develops a big grin on his face, elbow Michael in his side as they notice you, and then you also notice Finn, looking at all of the sick covering your dress, with a disgusted look on his face.  
" Ewww... what is all that? " Finn asks frowning, as he stares at your sick covered clothes.  
You feel yourself burn up with embarrassment, at the teenage lad's comments.  
" It's your nephews sick" Polly replies first, "Charlie hasn't been very well all day".  
" That's grim" Finn replies, as you stand there, looking and feeling like a complete idiot.  
You haven't looked at Michael yet, your far too embarrassed to, but your eyes finally glance up to look at him, and his eyes are already on you, his face blank, as he looks from your face, to your sick covered clothes.  
Oh god...  
" I better head off and get changed,... Charlie could wake up again soon and I won't be there" you say, looking for an excuse to leave this mortifying situation right away.  
Polly smiles and nods at you, as you quickly make your way round the corner, taking in a deep breath from the embarrassing encounter.  


You ran a brush through your hair, after you had finished changing into your spare dress in the downstairs toilet, you sprayed some of your perfume to rid yourself of any remaining smell of sick that may still be lingering, as you put your other sick-stained dress in a bag, ready for you to take home and wash afterwards.  
You also applied a bit of lipstick from your bag, to stop yourself feeling so disgusting anymore as you headed back up to Charlie's room.  
As you opened the door, you were shocked to find Michael sitting in there as Charlie slept, still peacefully.  
He heard you enter, as his head spun around to look at you.  
" Oh hello" you say, trying to hide your shock at his presence in here, as you quietly shut the door behind you, trying to avoid waking up Charlie, and made your way over to the crib where he slept.  
" I was just making sure he was alright... my mom told me to come up and keep an eye on him while you were getting changed" Michael said, as he stood up from where he was sitting.  
"Oh,.. thank you" you smile, as you feel the usual increased and rapid beating of your heart again in his presence.  
" You look better" he smirks, as he gestures his eyes at your new dress.  
" Yes..." you laugh, "I'm so much cleaner now...."  
He smiles, and then starts to walk a bit closer towards you.  
" So.. you said that you had wanted to see me?" he says, his eyes scanning your face.  
You freeze.  
" I.. I did" you say confused.  
He stares back at you, a slight annoyance on his face.  
" The other week,.. a week or so after Tommy's dinner party..... you said that you had been wanting to see me again..... before Tommy came down the stairs and interrupted you" Michael said, staring at you intently.  
Oh god... he remembered that... you don't know what to reply..... you didn't even know what you were going to say back then...... let alone right now.  
Think... quickly think...you told yourself.  
" Oh...um...yes.... " you started to stutter,.........  
" I.... I can't quite remember now... what the reason was actually for" you say, with a nervous laugh.  
You see a look of both irritation and disappointment appear on his face, and you begin to panic, not wanting to piss him off.  
" Well, I always do like to see you" you quickly tell him.  
Wow... did you really just say that out loud,... you say to yourself.  
However, his eyes widen at your comment, and his lips turn upwards into a smile.  
" You do.... and why would that be? " he asks, moving a step forward, towards you.  
Oh god... you feel your heart beating ridiculously fast in your chest.  
You look down as you feel yourself blush, your cheeks feeling as if they are actually burning, as you start to laugh nervously.  
He continues to stare at you intently, his eyes penetrating your own eyes, and his body now a lot closer to yours, awaiting your answer.  
You have got to say something now.  
" Well,.... you... you seem nice" you smile, with a slight shrug of your shoulders.  
Oh my god....you seem nice... really.... you thought as soon as it stumbled out of your mouth... that's the line you decided to go with.  
Michael looked down and laughed to himself.  
" you think I seem nice?" he grinned, looking back to your face.  
" Well, you have always been nice to me" you smile back.  
" and what if I'm not really that nice" he replies, with a devilish smirk, as he leans in even more towards you.  
Is he flirting with you ...???  
You give him a shy, coy smile in return, as you feel your whole body begin to tremble.  
"Well... I'm sure that if you have a naughty side to you as well,....you might decide to let me have the opportunity of seeing it one day... so I can decide for myself,... whether you are in fact, naughty or nice" you manage to say, with a smirk back.  
Oh god.. and did you really just flirt back???  
His eyes seem to twinkle in response to what you had just said to him, and he couldn't seem to hold back the grin that was forming on his face.  
" Are nanny's allowed to speak like this.... encouraging people to be naughty" he laughs, gazing at you.  
" Maybe I'm a naughty nanny too" you smile, as you watch his eyes widen and fix their glare on you.  
He doesn't respond for a few seconds, he just stares longingly at you.  
"I must head back downstairs,... Tommy is waiting for me and I've stayed up here longer than I should have.. but I'll come and see you again before you finish for the day" he smirks, as he softly brushes past you as he makes his way towards the door, and gives you a quick wink before he leaves the room.  
Oh my god... you think, as you smile to yourself.


	12. Chapter 12

A few days had now passed since you last saw Michael.  
You thought that you had made some kind of progress, after the flirtation the two of you had in Charlie's nursey a few days ago, and maybe, just maybe, you had thought something could happen between the two of you after all....  
However your home time arrived and he never returned to see you before you finished like he had said he would.  
You had done nothing but watch the clock that last hour, you even stayed 45 minutes after you were meant to go home , just holding out for him to come back like some love struck puppy, but you never saw any sign of him again that day.  
You had spent the next few days depressed, maybe you had acted like a fool and you had come on a bit too strong and he didn't like it, or maybe you were just a big joke between them all,.. after all, you did notice John grin and nudge him in his side the last time you saw them all.  
You must of replayed what was said between you both a million times now in your head, to see if peharps you had said something wrong,... but you had since decided that you were not going to become their funny little joke.. silly y/n who fancies Michael for everyone to laugh about.  
He never came back and that should tell you, you weren't going to wait around to be made a fool of, no matter how strong your feelings were for him.  
You decided that the next time that you did see him, you were going to play it cool, like he was nothing more than Tommy's cousin who you had to be friendly and polite towards, because you were employed as Charlie's nanny,... and try your hardest to keep your true feelings for him hidden.  
You hadn't seen much of Tommy either during the past few days.  
He had asked you to stop over at the house for the past two nights to take care of Charlie, giving you no explanation why but of course you had just agreed, and Tommy hadn't return home since which was very unusual.  
And last night, you had overheard Mary and another one of the maid's gossiping that some kind of trouble was seriously going down.  
And Johnny doggs hadn't been around the house during the past few days either, which was very unusual as well.  
Maybe something was wrong, after all?  
But you couldn't leave until Tommy had returned from wherever it was that he had gone, and you were having to telephone your mother every night using the house's telephone to say you wouldn't be home yet again tonight.  


The next morning after Charlie's breakfast, and the third night in a row now that you have had to sleep over at the house, you and Charlie were playing.  
He had gotten into a habit of putting all of his toys in a row on the floor and play acting with them all, sometimes it would be playing shops, or playing teacher's in class.  
But this morning, you both couldn't seem to find one of his favourite toys, a clown named "Mr Chuckles" among them all.  
Charlie was getting himself worked up that Mr Chuckles was missing, and you were trying your best to calm Charlie down as well as find the toy clown.  
" Maybe Mr Chuckles is downstairs Charlie, did we leave him downstairs yesterday" you say to the young boy.  
" Dada's Office" the boy cried out, as his began running towards the closed door of Tommy's office.  
" Charlie... wait for me please" you shout after him, running behind him as the little lad ran at a pace towards the room and pushed it open and waddled through.  
"Charlie,... hold on" you say, as you enter the room behind him.  
Oh fuck... .. you suddenly think to yourself, as you barge into the filled room behind Charlie, who had stopped in front of you, and was pointing over towards the sofa, giggling.  
Tommy had returned home, and was leaning against the edge of his desk, he looked frustrated but his eyes widen in shock when they landed on you and Charlie all of a sudden entering the room.  
Michael on his left hand side, his eyes also widen at your sudden appearance in the room and he seemed to straighten himself up upon your arrival, and John was on the other side of Tommy.  
You nervously shuffled where you stood as your eyes trailed down at the sofa Charlie was pointing at, to see Arthur sitting there, next to a man you had never seen before.  
He was a bearded gentleman, wearing a long black coat, black top hat, and was holding a wooden walking stick.  
You noticed how you seemed to of interrupted something very heated, as him and Arthur were glaring at each other, and Arthur looked as if he was about to murder the man from just the glare he was giving him alone, before they turn to look over at you and Charlie's sudden entrance, as if it stopped him in his tracks.  
" Daddy" Charlie cried out to his father, pointing his arms towards Tommy.  
You quickly noticed how Charlie was about to leap towards his father, so you quickly scooped the lad up in your arms before he could make a run for it.  
" Sorry... .." stumbled out of your mouth, as you held Charlie in your arms, but the little lad began pointing at the sofa again.  
" Mr Chuckles.." Charlie cried out loud, and you noticed that he was pointing at the toy clown that was there on the sofa, and was being sat on by the unknown gentleman.  
" Mr Chuckles.." Charlie cried out again, pointing at the toy clown that was being squashed.  
The whole room just seemed to pause in dismay.  
" What the fuck is going on?" the gentleman spoke first.  
"y/n...can you take Charlie out of the room please" Tommy asks you,.. and you feel yourself burn up as you sense his annoyance.  
"yes of course,... I'm so sorry" you stutter as you begin to leave.  
" Mr Chuckles" Charlie cried louder, wriggling around in your arms to get to his precious toy.  
" Is this your boy Tommy..... what is he saying.... Mr fucking Chuckles...what the fuck is that?" the man asked, looking over at Tommy.  
"y/n please" Tommy says to you sternly, gestering you to leave the room with his son right away.  
" yes...yes...ok" you say, as you dart out the room with Charlie in your arms.  
You quickly shut the door behind you as Charlie cries loudly in your arms, embrassed and wondering if you were going to be in trouble afterwards for what ever is was that you had just walked in on.  


You went into another room, and tried to calm Charlie down.  
After a while he stopped crying, as you focused his attention on something else fun to do.  
The door opened and Tommy came into the room.  
"Dada" the boy gasped, as he waddled over to his father, holding his hands up in the air to be picked up by him.  
"Hello Charlie, my boy" Tommy said to his son, as he picked him up in his arms.  
You nervously stood there, and then began clearing the toys off the floor.  
" Thank you y/n...for taking care of him for the past couple of nights that I have been away" Tommy then says to you.  
" Oh its absolutely fine.....I'm so sorry about earlier Mr Shelby...we went looking for his toy that he had lost and we had no idea that anybody was in there" you start apolgising.  
" It's fine... just in future can you keep Charlie away from my office" he says to you.  
"Yes of course" you answer.  
Tommy then lets you leave to go home, and says that you can have the next couple of days off for the nights that you had stopped over.  
You say goodbye to Charlie and head down the stairs.  
You grab your coat and over-night bag, and notice Michael in the living room with Arthur, John and Finn.. and Polly had since joined them.  
Arthur was knocking back whiskey at a speed and seemed quite drunk, and they were all deep in discussion.  
You hover in the hallway as you realise that you have to walk through the room to be able to leave the house.  
Just keep your head down and don't say anything,...... and just quickly walk through the room and leave....... you say to yourself.  
As you make your way across the room with your head down, you notice through the corner of your eye, Polly looking over towards you and watching you do so.  
You also notice Michael's eyes following you, watching you intently as you walked through the room, past them all in silence.  
Nobody said anything to you, and you just left the house for the next couple of days.  



	13. Chapter 13

When you returned to work the following week, things were definitely going on.  
Tommy was appearing very stressed, more so than usual, and his brothers and Polly were around all of the while, as well other peaky blinders such as Uncle Charlie, Curly, Johnny doggs and Isaiah and his dad Jeremiah, all having private meetings and you could hear raised voices all of the time.  
Today was the first day Michael had turned up to attend them.  
You had been working there for almost six months now and you had heard many rumours.  
The brothers dealt with the corrupt gangster side of the business, but Michael dealt with legitimate business, Polly had insisted.  
You had heard that he had been adopted, him and his sister had been cruelly took away from Polly when they were both very young, and Tommy went to find them both to bring them back home to their birth family a few years ago, however Michael's sister had died as a child after being took to Australia but they managed to find Michael with his adopted family and Michael had decided to stay with the Shelby family after his 18th birthday, a few years ago.  
Tommy had since made him cheif accountant at the business as well as only letting him deal with the legitimate side of the business, again, ordered by Polly.  
Michael walked past you on his way to the office with Arthur, he glanced over at you, and you both held eye contact for a couple of seconds before he looked away and simply walked past you with his cousin.  
You couldn't help but feel angry and annoyed, having developed such strong feelings for him over the last six months for it all to be for nothing, it now seemed.  
You had been such a fool to even think that anything could of ever happened between the two of you... , you were probably nothing more than a stupid nanny to him, who it was funny to lead on, to see how far it could go and to have a laugh about.  
They all locked themselves away again in the office for the next two hours and you carried on with your work.  
You were in the hallway when the office door opened, and the Jewish man who was here last week came out of the room.  
" Hello again sweetheart.... y/n wasn't it?" he said, as he approached you.  
" Um yes, yes... hello" you smile unsurely back.  
" Well aren't you a beauty of a young lady... My name is Alfie and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance again, doll face" he says, as he put his hand out for you to shake.  
You nervously shake his hand as you notice Tommy appear from the doorway of his office to see what was going on.  
" Everything ok y/n?" Tommy asked you.  
" Yes,... yes, " you reply, letting go of Alfie's hand.  
" Of course everything is ok, isn't it doll face,.. why wouldn't it be... now I have just got to know... did Mr Chuckles make his way back to that little lad in one peace.. because I have not stopped worrying about it every since" he laughed.  
You just stood there, as you realised that he was taking the piss.  
" Ok... thank you Alfie" Tommy raised his voice, as he walked towards you both.  
" It is a very important question, Tommy" Alfie said laughing, as Tommy seem to escort him out of the house.  
You begin to walk away, as you notice Michael was now standing in the doorway of the office, watching what was going on.  
You had already had enough for one day, you always seemed to be the butt of everyone's jokes....and as you and Michael both stared back at each other, you simply just walked passed him and made your way to the nursery. 

You began tidying the nursery after you finally managed to get Charlie off to sleep for his afternoon nap.  
Suddenly there was a soft knock on the door.  
" Come in" you say,... it was unusual as nobody ever normally knocked to enter.  
Your eyes widen as Michael enters the room.  
" Oh.. hello" you say, before you turn away and carried on tidying up, acting as if he no longer bothered you.  
" I was just checking that you were alright?" he asked, making his way over to you.  
" Why wouldn't I be? " you scoffed, it came out quite harsh... and you noticed from the way his eyes widened he must of thought so to... but you were sick of feeling like a joke all of the while.  
" Sorry..." he scoffed back, "I just wanted to make sure that you were ok as I haven't seen you in a while.. well not to speak to anyway...and then I just saw you with Alfie downstairs.. .." he stopped, and you looked over at him, confused, as he continues.  
" You should stay away from that man... whenever he comes here... you should avoid him... he's not a... good person" he says to you.  
" What is he doing here then?" you ask.  
He pauses.  
" I can't..... really elaborate" he replies.  
" Oh right" you reply, as you looked down and started folding Charlie's clothes.  
" It's just business stuff" he replies.  
" I understand.. ...nothing I need to know" you say, with a small smile, continuing to tidy up.  
You hear him let out a small sigh, and then it goes awkwardly silent.  
" Just be careful ok,... . around people like him" Michael suddenly says.  
" I can look after myself" you reply back, looking up at him.  
" I'm sure you can" he snaps back,... as he seems to sense your bluntness with him, " but still.....I wouldn't want to see you ever get hurt", he continues.  
You stare back at him, and he keeps hold of your gaze intently, before gving you a slight but coy smile as he shifts his eyes about nervously.  
He made you so confused,... some days he could completely ignore you like you were just another member of Tommy's household staff and then on another day he would be coming up to find you and saying things like this to you.  
I mean, ... what was he trying to say.... was he trying to say that he worried about you,... that he even cared about you?  
" Why would I get hurt?" you nervously laugh in response.  
He just stared back at you, like he was unable to reply with an answer.  
" It's just a dangerous world out there" he finally replies.  
" and it is in here too,.... .I believe? " you reply, raising your eyebrows, making him realise that you knew exactly what kind of business that his family gets involved in.  
He stared back at you intensely, but he didn't seem that shocked by your knowledge of that.  
" Are you frightened by that? " he asked you, his intense eyes penetrating into your own.  
You very softly shake your head as a "no" response, and don't actually say anything in response, as you put down Charlie's folded pyjamas on the side of the cabinet, and continue to hold his gaze.  
The room seems to get smaller in size all of a sudden, as he moved closer towards you, his eyes gazing into your face as you both were now nearly touching.  
He finally let's his lips turned upwards into a slight smile from what had been an intense expressionless look on his face.  
And then.... like he did that night back at the party,... he moves a strand of your hair away from your face,... tantalisingly slowly with his fingers all the way down the strand before brushing it off your shoulders, and you take in the deepest of breath's as he leans in closer, never removing his eyes from yours.  
You feel your insides melt away and your legs feel like jelly.  
" I like that your not frightened" he finally speaks, and he is so close to your face that you feel his breath on your skin,.. and you can smell the smell of cigarettes.  
" Should I be frightened?" you ask breathlessness,.. it came out quite sexy as you quiver beneath him but it was really down to the fact that you actually couldn't quite catch your breath with him being so painfully close to you.  
He gives you a small smirk, with a mischievous feel to it, and he bites down on his bottom lip as he stares down from your eyes to your lips.  
" you..... are...... a..... complete... wonder to me" he says breathlessness, and he leans his nose against your own nose,.. and then he ever so gently brushes his lips so softly against your own lips, for what just seemed like a micro of a second, so softly it was like they were barely touching at all, like he was tantalising you, as you both breathe heavily against each other.  
He then steps back away from you with a big grin on his face, like it was a game of torture, and runs his fingers just as frustratingly soft down your arm making you shiver from the light, gentle touches, before he stepped backwards, fully out of your reach.  
" Stay safe. ... for me" he grins, holding your eye contact before he leaves the room.  
You let out the deepest of breath's, when he fully exits the nursery, leaving you alone with a sleeping Charlie, and it was like you could finally breath again, as you run your fingers through your hair with utter frustration.  
What the fuck was happening... .. but he was just too far under your skin now.  



	14. Chapter 14

It was Saturday night and you were going out with your best friend Maggie, and her boyfriend Peter.  
You had not been able to see her much at all recently, not since you had gotten your job as Charlie Shelby's nanny over six months ago now, as that consumed most of your time as Tommy was always having to suddenly be absent and away on some kind of business, which meant you also had to do a lot of overtime.  
Maggie had noticed you constantly being at work and unavailable, and was curious as to why a Lord and Lady was always absent from their home and away from their child....and you had finally confessed that you were not in fact a nanny for a lord and lady like you had originally told them.. but it was in fact for Thomas Shelby... the gangster and peaky blinder.  
You thought Maggie was going to pass out when you first told her...you had to try and calm her down and beg her and Peter not to tell anyone else.... especially your mother.  
She had yelled at you about how stupid you were, what a dangerous situation you had gotten yourself into and how you could get yourself killed by being around those gangsters everday ...she had pleaded that she would get Peter to help find you another job...as a barmaid in their local pub perhaps or as a cashier in one of the little shops in the village...somewhere where you would be safe... but you managed to finally calm her down and expressed how much you loved this job as well as little Charlie and you had gotten into no danger.  
She wasn't very easy to convince, she was frightened for you, bringing up how his wife was killed in that house, and how they were very dangerous gangsters...and finally you found yourself telling her about your feelings for Michael.  
" Oh please god no... it just gets worse" she said, with her head in her hands, as you told her everything that had happened between you and Michael since you had got the job.  
You hadn't seen him now for yet another fortnight, since he had been up in the nursery with you,... yet you thought about him all the while, but you were just so frustrated about how he would be like that with you and then you would never see him again for sometimes a week or two, with nothing but memories of your last encounter permanently occupying your brain.  
" I don't even think that anything will ever happen between us anyway" you moaned to her,... " sometimes it's like he is coming on to me and that there is something there between us and then he will just ignore me completely whenever I do next see him again...whenever that may be... its like he is playing me... I mean.. if he really wanted me.. wouldn't he of just asked me out by now... I know he knows I like him, I just know he does...he obviously just isn't that interested in little old me" you sighed.  
" Nonsense..... not that I should be encouraging this" Maggie replied.  
" Honestly Maggie...I think I've fallen in love with him" you say, looking seriously at her.  
" Oh christ..." she sighed, " you know,.. only you could do this y/n,..".  
You begged her not to tell anyone as you both began to get ready for the evening.  
" I know... but its painful how much I want him mags" you reply, and you see her give you a serious look and then she sighs again.  
You put on your beautiful new flapper dress that you had brought for this evening, light pink with sliver lining and beads, as you did your long y/h/c hair in soft loose curls and applied your makeup.  
" You know..." you began, " I just NEED to know if he is or isn't playing me... if he isn't out there with another girl or girl's for that matter and I'm just being a complete idiot as usual" you say, as you clipped on your earrings.  
" and how are we going to find that out? " Maggie replies, spraying herself as well as you with the new perfume Peter had brought her for her birthday.  
" Well..." you begin, knowing you might be pushing your luck on this one.  
" What... ? " she looks at you, with one of her looks.  
" I heard that they are always in Arthur's pub..... you know... the garrison... and we are going out for drinks tonight ", you coyly smile, awaiting her response.  
" seriously y/n.....the fucking garrison.. .. the peaky blinder's actual fucking pub" she gasps.  
" please mags... I know its crazy... . and I know that I'm asking a lot... but please.. I just need to know" you beg, giving her a sympathetic look.  
"and don't think that look will wash with me either" she sighs, as she continues to put on her lipstick, and you playfully sulk a little bit more.  
"ok.. ok... fine..." she gives in, " I must really love you because this is crazy... but we're not going without Peter " she says.  
"OK... thank you" you smile.  
" As long as he doesn't have a heart attack when I tell him where we are heading tonight when he gets here" Maggie replies.

You had to admit, Maggie's boyfriend Peter, did turn a few shades paler when she told him where you all were going tonight, but at least he had agreed to let you all go.  
You had felt like it was a brilliant idea at first, to see if Michael did have somebody or if he was a player after all, or how he would react to you away from work, .. but as you got nearer and began approaching the garrison, nerves started getting the better of you.  
You pondered a bit outside when the three of you finally reached the pub.  
" You ok? " Maggie asked you, noticing your sudden reluctance.  
" Yeah" you nervously replied, as your previous confidence had now fully dissappeared now that you were actually here.  
You were nervous about seeing him,.. and also nervous about what you might actually see or what might happen ...but you really needed to know.  
Peter entered first, followed by you and Maggie, and your eyes darted around the crowded pub.  
You all had a few glances from what you could only assume where regulars, slightly suspicious of any new customers that they had never seen in there before, but they seem to discard you all as just some youngsters out on the town and wanting to take a look at the infamous Arthur Shelby's pub for a bit of fun,.... . I mean, the three of you really could never look even remotely dangerous at all.  
Your eyes scanned the room, a lot of them looked like peaky blinders, as well as some who must of been local people... but there were no sign of Michael or any other members of his family.  
" I don't think that they are even here" you whisper to Maggie, as you find a table to sit at.  
" We are probably way to early for them... its only just gone eight o'clock" Maggie whispered back to you, as she sat down on the chair beside yours.  
" Knowing my luck, they won't even turn up tonight" you reply, as you nervously started shifting your legs about underneath the table.  
Peter went up to the bar and brought the three of you some drinks, strong alcoholic ones to calm down your growing nerves.  


Over an hour and a half, and three double gin and tonic's later, you felt slightly more relaxed.  
It was nearly ten o'clock and they were yet to show up.  
You had come to the conclusion that they were probably not going to come tonight and it had been a waste of time as you got one final round of drinks in before you were all going to head off back home for the night.  
Just as you sat back down with the drinks, and carried on your previous conversation that the three of you were having, the garrison door swung open, as if it might come of its hinges.  
Arthur Shelby barges in, looking as if he has already had a few too many drinks already, followed by his brother's Tommy and John.. and your eyes then land on Michael.  
" Shit... they are here" you whisper, as your eyes focus on Michael, and again, you can't quite catch your breath.  
He enters behind them, smoking a cigarette, walking beside his friend and fellow peaky blinder Isaiah,... and god... does he look so sexy.... it should be made illegal.  
" That's him " you gesture to Maggie, as she and Peter look over towards them as they all walk into the pub and you notice how everyone else in the pub also fully notices their presence.  
" Ok... I get the attraction" Maggie says, looking at Michael for the first time.  
" Hey Mags... . I am right here, you know" Peter replies.  
" Sorry babe...you will always be my number one pin up.. you know that" she replies, rubbing the top of her boyfriend's thigh.  
You notice Arthur waving his hand up in the air at the bar man, as the man behind the bar then seems to quickly leave everything he was originally doing and started hurrying about, getting a tray of different bottles, whiskey glasses and a jug of ice prepared as if royalty had just entered the place, as the Shelby family started to pile into their private side area of the pub away from the other customers.  
Not one of them had yet noticed you right up the corner of the pub with your friends, as they closed the door of the private booth behind them, now out of view from everyone else.  
" Ok they are here... now what? " Maggie asks you in a whisper.  
" I don't know... I never actually thought that far ahead" you reply, as the bar man quickly walks past your table with his tray for them, and as he opens the door of their private booth, you can only see John through the gap of the door, with a cigar in his mouth and a deck of playing cards.  
They spent the next hour locked away in there, with none of them coming out, and you notice that's it only an hour away now from last orders.  
" Well, at least you now know that he hasn't spent the night with a woman.." Maggie says, and you smile slightly, realising tonight has just been an utter waste of time, you didn't even know what you had even expected anyway.  
" Yeah..." you sigh, " i'll get us all one last drink in and then we will head off before they can ever know that I was even here" you say, as you head up to the bar with your purse.  
As you made your way up to the bar, and leaned against it, waiting for your turn to be served, a young, attractive looking man approached you from the other side of the bar.  
" Hi.." he smiled,..." you will be waiting here a long time now that they have arrived..." he said, gesturing over at the closed private area where the Shelby's were sitting in.  
" Oh right " you smiled back.  
" One of them just has to click their fingers, and they automatically have to be served right away, even if there is a queue of ten of us waiting here" he laughs, and you chuckle back.  
" I see" you smile, raising your eyebrows, and you notice his eyes linger on you, admiringly.  
" I'm Jack by the way, " he smiles, moving in a bit closer to you at the bar.  
" y/n..." you reply with a smile, as the bar man starts serving the person in front of you both.  
" you have never been in here before? " he asks you.  
You look at him questionably, and he clears his throat with a slight chuckle.  
" I mean... I've never noticed you in here before" he says.  
" No.. first time tonight... just here with my friend and her boyfriend " you reply.  
" Your boyfriend not with you tonight, then? " he asks.  
" Oh no... I don't have a boyfriend" you nervously laugh, shaking your head.  
" Now surely that's impossible...someone as beautiful as yourself " he smiles, and you feel yourself blush.  
You let out a nervous giggle, and he smiles back at you, as the bar man suddenly shouts out a 'next' to you, awaiting your order.  
" Hi...can I have two double gin and tonics, and a pint of beer please?" you ask the bar man, as he nods in response and begins to pour your drinks.  
" I'll get these" Jack says, as he gets out his wallet.  
" Oh... no.. , it's fine.." you reply.  
" No really....I insist " he replies, getting out a note from his wallet.  
" Really...I couldn't " you smile back.  
" No seriously,....its fine.. I insist,.. really" he laughs, handing the note over to the bar man.  
"Ok...thank you" you smile back.  
" So what do you do? ..." he began to ask you, before you were both interrupted by a familiar voice.  


" y/n" you heard the familiar voice say, in a shocked tone, as you turned to face them.  
It was Tommy, looking back at you, very suprised to see you in here.  
" Oh my god.. Mr Shelby...I mean... Tommy,... Hi.. " you stutter back at your boss, with a smile.  
" What are you doing in here, all the way over this part of town?" he asks you.  
" Oh.. I'm just here for a couple of drinks with my friends" you say, gestering over to where Maggie and Peter were sitting.  
Tommy looks over at them, and then back at you and nods slightly, and then turns to look at Jack standing at the bar next to you.  
" And who is this... your new boyfriend?" he asks, gestering his finger to Jack.  
" Oh.. no.. no... we have only just met this very second... we were just talking at the bar" you nervously laugh, embrassment making your cheeks burn red as you look to see Jack just staring back at Tommy.  
" Oh right..." Tommy nodded, and then your eyes trailed to the right of you, and it was then you noticed, that Tommy had left the door of their private booth wide open, and some of them in there were now making their way out.  
Michael then suddenly appears in your view and as he gets up and walks out, his eyes automatically land on you.  
He definitely reacts to your presence here, as he automatically just freezes on the spot where he was standing, as his eyes widen largely, and he looks at you with a mixture of both shock and surprise.  
After a few seconds that he just seems to be frozen in time staring over at you, you notice how the lips of his mouth then suddenly start turning upwards, into a small smile towards you, like he was shocked but genuinely happy to see you in here.  
Your heart skips a beat at his response to your presence here, and you give a smile back in return, until you notice him then turning and looking to the right of you, and then you see his smile automatically leave his face in a instant.  
He suddenly looks quite angry, as he looks sharply at whatever has now caught his gaze, and you notice how his jaw clenches and then seems to lock into place.  
You look over to where he was glaring at, and you realise that he was looking at Jack, next to you at the bar.  
Suddenly Arthur and John seemed to push past a now stern looking Michael, and make their way over to where you and Tommy were standing at the bar.  
" Oh my god... its only the fucking nanny in here " John laughs, with a big smirk appearing on his face, as he then nudges Michael in his side with an elbow, knocking Michael out of his trance.  
" Ay up..." Arthur then shouts over to you, and as Arthur and John make their way over to you and Tommy, you notice how Michael follows behind them but at a much slower pace, like he was currently lost in thought, and almost as if he didn't want to come over.  
Your stomach drops a little at that, as Arthur then wraps his arm around you.  
" Our nanny here knows where the best booze in town is, don't ya?" he laughs, and you smell the whiskey on Arthur's breath.  
" Yep,.. sure do" you nervously laugh, as you look over at Michael again, and his eyes are now fixed on you intensely, boring into your face like he was angry and annoyed at you.  
You give him a slight and unsure smile, but he doesn't return it as he carries on glaring at you intently, before he turns and looks at Jack again, his eyes staring at him as if they could of been made out of knifes.  
You notice how Jack gives you a swift nod followed by a small smile, and then gets his own drink and abruptly leaves.  
You turn back to Michael, to see that he had just witnessed the slight interaction between you and Jack, and you watch how Michael's jaw then clenches shut and how his eyes then follow Jack intently, boring into the young man as he watches him walk away from the bar, and all the way over to the other side of the pub.  
" y/n is here with her friends" Tommy then speaks, gestering his two brother's and cousin over to the table where Maggie and Peter were sitting.  
You look over at your friends sitting at the other side of the pub, who were watching the situation unfold in front of them.  
" yeah, that's my best friend Maggie with her partner Peter" you smile.  
Arthur and John just nod with not much interest, but Michael stares over at them both.  
" Well, we won't interrupt you any longer and let you get on with enjoying your night off" Tommy smiles.  
" yeah.. have a nice night" you smile at them all, as you then look over at Michael, who just glares back at you, without saying anything.  
You sigh as you take your drinks back to where Maggie and Peter were sitting waiting for you.  
" What was happening?" Maggie asks you, as you sat back down next to her.  
" I think I've just fucked everything up, that's what just has happened" you reply to her, taking a much needed gulp of your double gin and tonic.  
You watch as Michael and his cousins get more drinks, and as the night goes on, Michael keeps glancing over at you every so often, as you keep doing so over at him, but as soon as you both hold eye contact with each other, he automatically looks away.  
" He is definitely bothered by you, y/n... its so obvious" Maggie tells you.  
" Do you think?" you reply to her, " he just seems pissed off with me..."  
" because that guy at the bar was chatting you up... it definitely bothered him, we witnessed it ourselves" Maggie says.  
Michael suddenly gets up from where he was sitting, still appearing in a mood, as he heads out the front door of the garrison and lights up a cigarette, as the door closes behind him.  
" Just go out after him" Maggie tells you.  
" and do what, exactly? " you reply back.  
" Just talk to him... see what happens.... go on...we didn't come all the way over here for nothing" she says to you, gestering you to go out after him.  
You rolls your eyes at her and Peter, as you reluctantly get up and make your way out of the garrison.  


You step outside into the cold night's air, to see him standing outside the pub smoking, his eyes just staring into space as he looks down the dark street.  
" Hey, you.." you playfully say, as you approach him, clutching your arms around your body as the cold night's air goes through the fabric of your dress and hits your skin harshly, making you slightly shiver.  
He looks over at you, and then turns his eyes back towards the end of the empty street, and carries on smoking, without answering you.  
Ok... this might be harder than you thought.  
" Your cousin has a really nice pub" you begin to ramble, as you stand next to him.  
Michael looks down at the ground and sighs deeply, as if he has no choice but to respond to you, now that you were right beside him.  
" yeah... this is his pride and joy" he says back, gesturing at the pub, in a very unenthusiastic tone, like he doesn't really want to talk to you.  
You sigh heavily, as you feel like you are just wasting your time.  
But you decide to give it at least one more try.  
" It's so nice to finally see you when I'm not actually at work....and not at Tommy's house being Charlie's nanny" you smile, watching his face intently for a response.  
He turns to look at you, his eyes curious, as he takes another puff of his cigarette, and then lets the smoke exhale back out through his nose.. .. he's just so damn sexy when he does that, that it makes you quiver right to your core,...and he then stares at you deeply.  
" Why are you out here,... and not in there with your friends... . you don't even smoke?" he finally says to you.  
" because I want to be out here,.. talking to you" you reply, finally finding a bit of confidence.  
He stares back at you again with a curious look on his face and clenches his jaw.  
" You can always go back inside,.. back into the warm,..you could go and have a drink with that guy that you were chatting up at the bar earlier" he replies, a harshness to his tone, as his eyes studies your face.  
" I was definitely not chatting that guy up,... he was just talking to me while I was waiting in the queue, I had never even seen him before in my life" you laugh, but with a blunt and sterness to your voice.  
His eyes seem to scan your face intently.  
" Then why was he paying for your drinks?" he asked.  
Wow.... Maggie was right,... he really did seem bothered.  
" I don't know... he just offered... I kept refusing but he kept insisting.....but I can ensure you that I definitely was not interested" you reply, scanning his face for his reaction.  
He just looks back at you, his eyes scanning each part of your face that it made you slightly uncomfortable, wondering what was going through his head.  
" why... because you already have a new boyfriend or something? " he finally replies.  
" I don't have a boyfriend... " you reply.  
" Oh right... John did say that Esme had said that you didn't have a boyfri...." he says, before he stops mid sentence,... and his eyes widen before he looks down at the floor, as if he accidently said something he didn't mean to say.  
You pause as well at the sudden silence all of a sudden.. they had spoke about you???  
" John can ramble on about stuff sometimes" he quickly replied.  
" I can imagine... sometimes him and Arthur don't stop for breath do they?" you laugh.  
He looks back at you, and gives you the sweetest of small smiles.  
You smile back at him, before you both stand there again in an awkward silence.  
" So your not interested in anybody then?" he asks, turning to look at you again.  
Could this really be getting any more fucking awkward!!!  
You feel yourself blush as you nervously laugh, but don't reply with an answer.  
" What.... .?" Michael then asks, as he smiles slightly at you, but there was seriousness to his tone.  
" Really.....? " you ask with a laugh, and then your smile fades away and you look him, as serious as you could ever look at someone.  
He stares back at you, expressionless, but holding eye contact with you, with the same serious manner written on his face.  
Oh my god.... what is going on?....could this get anymore uncomfortable right now.  
The eye contact went on for a little too long, and you felt like you had to say something sooner rather than later.  
" I might be interested in someone" you reply, shocked that it actually came out of your mouth.  
His face gave no reaction away though, he just continued to hold your gaze.  
" Oh... and who might the lucky guy be?" he finally replied, as he stumped his cigarette out on to the floor and stepped closer towards you.  
You take in a deep breath and then gulp, feeling how serious this conversation was heading.  
You softly smile back at him and let out a tiny laugh, as you stared back at him, not knowing how to reply.  
Just go for it.....right here and now... if you really want him this badly.. .. a voice suddenly whispered to you from the inside of your head.  
" Take a guess?" you say, in a playful tone, as you raised your eyebrows at him in a flirtatious way, and give him the smallest of smirks.  
It was like you suddenly had just triggered something inside of him,... as just as you noticed that a smirk had also appeared on his face from your reply ,... he had suddenly leaned in forward towards you, and his lips were now pressed against your own, forcefully and passionately.  
You suddenly felt all the blood inside your body rush straight up to your brain, as you realised that he was in fact kissing you, with such an urgency, and you felt your heart race in your chest.  
Could this really be happening!!  


You melted into the kiss, as you seem to softly fall into his embrace, and you felt his one hand rest on your waist as the other softly cupped your face.  
You felt as if you were floating on air as you let your arms fall around his waist, to rest on his side and back, as you felt him deepen the kiss.  
It was like the whole world had suddenly floated away around you both, as you felt his tongue suddenly find its way into the inside of your mouth, and began caresssing your own tongue with his.  
You found yourself getting lost within the passionate kiss, as your tongues danced with each other within your mouth, as you held on to eachother as you both continued to kiss with even more hunger for one another.  
Suddenly you were pulled away from your blissful state, as you were both interrupted by someone letting out a very loud, sarcastic-like cough.  
You both broke away from the kiss, and you turned to see that Tommy, Arthur, John and Isaiah were now standing outside the pub witnessing your intimate encounter,... Tommy looked quite shocked, but a very amused looking Arthur, John and Isaiah with slight grins making their way on to their faces.  
You burn with embrassment as they caught you off guard, as Arthur and John started chuckling.  
" Come on now young Casanova...." Arthur laughs,  
" were heading off back to Tom's now.. .."  
" Ok... alright..." Michael replies, annoyed and quite reluctantly, as he gives you a look as the lads continued to chuckle between themselves, as he softly smiles and nods at you as he made his way over to them.  
" we will be seeing you later then, nanny... unless you were planning on putting Michael to bed for the night" John laughs, which causes Arthur and Isaiah to drunkenly laugh in response.  
" OK,.. boys" Tommy smirks, as they all head off down the street.  
You silently smile to yourself as they disappear out of sight,... not really believing what had just happened.  
Apparently, it hadn't been such a wasted night after all.  



	15. Chapter 15

You were slightly nervous about going into work today.  
You had woken up yesterday, on sunday morning, blissfully as if you were on cloud nine, with the events of the night before flooding back into your brain as you stretched out under the covers, with a smile on your face as your mind replayed the kiss on repeat in your head, how he had felt on your lips,.. the taste.. the smell.. the feel of him on your skin.  
It had felt like a dream and you rolled over in your bed and giggled to yourself about the fact that it had been in fact reality and had finally happened.  
Even the slight headache in your head from all of the double gin and tonics that you had knocked back a few hours ago could not dampen your euphoric state as you snuggled back blissfully under your bed sheets until midday, thinking about Michael, until you finally managed to get yourself up and spent the rest of the sunday at home with your mother, feeling as if you were floating on air.  
However Monday morning had now arrived, and it wasn't until now that you started to feel anxious a little about what it would be like the next time that you saw him.  
You were hoping that it wouldn't be awkward or uncomfortable,.. you were hoping he wouldn't suddenly of regretted it either,...hopefully the events of Saturday night would be the start of something between you both,... as you tried not let yourself get too carried away.. but you couldn't help it,...you were hoping something would now begin with Michael now after Saturday night's kiss.

You got up and got yourself ready, making sure you looked really good in case you did happen to see Michael today for the first time since you two had kissed, wondering what he might be like with you.  
When you finally got to Tommy's house, you headed straight up to the nursery, as usual, to find Tommy in there holding Charlie.  
" Morning Mr Shelby" you smiled.  
You felt slightly embrassed and flustered, as the last time that you saw Tommy, you were snogging the face off his cousin.  
" Morning y/n" he replied, as he turned to face you, " I'm just getting Charlie up for his breakfast now".  
" Oh great" you smile, as you started preparing out Charlie's clothes for the day.  
" So, did you enjoy yourself with your friends on Saturday night, at the garrison?" Tommy asked, and you felt your cheeks burn.  
Was he being sarcastic?  
" Um,.. yeah, yeah.. we had a great time, thank you... Arthur has a lovely pub.... we will go there again" you smiled, not being able to make eye contact with him through embrassment.  
He let out an amused sounding 'huh' followed by a slight grin, before he then changed the subject, telling you that he will be going into his office in Birmingham today, and what he wanted doing with Charlie,... as well as telling you that Polly would also be dropping by this afternoon,... so to just let her straight through into the office, if Mary or any of the other maids were not around to do so when she got here.  
Oh shit.. Michael's mother,.. you began to wonder if she would know or not about what had gone on between you and her son, considering that the brothers now did.  
Tommy then let you take over with Charlie for the day and you carried on with your nanny duties. 

It was now mid afternoon, and Tommy had been gone now for a few hours.  
You had just given Charlie some milk and an afternoon snack and he was now ready to be put down for a quick nap, and as you and the little lad made your way back from the kitchen to head back up to the nursery, Polly came out of Tommy's office in front of you both.  
" Afternoon" you smiled at her, and Charlie then beamed up at her adorably, and gave his great aunt a playful wave.  
" Hello you" Polly grinned back at the little lad beside you, and he jumped about where he stood whilst holding your hand, with excitement at seeing her.  
" Hi y/n" she then said, turning to look at you, her eyes fixing on you.  
She stared at you, but as always, you could never quite analyse how Polly looked at you.  
" Were just heading off for an afternoon nap now, aren't we Charlie?" you smiled down at the boy, as Polly then looks at Charlie, and again smiles lovingly at him, before nodding in response back to you.  
Her eyes seem to fix on you again and you feel slightly anxious, wondering what she could be thinking beneath her intense glare.  
" You be a good boy Charlie, as I know you always are" she then smiled to the boy, as her eyes then again returned to you.  
" He sure is, aren't you mate? " you too smiled to the child before looking back at Polly, " See you later" you say to her, as you go to head back upstairs with Charlie.  
You suddenly feel her then start to walk beside you both.  
" I didn't know you had ever been to the garrison before,... it's quite the way, literally on the other side of town" she then said to you.  
So,... she knew then that you had been there on Saturday night then!!  
" Oh yes,... you mean last Saturday" you manage to reply, " I was just out with some of my friends,... and no, I had never been there before... we just happened to be over that way of town... through my best friend's boyfriend's work.... and we thought we would try a new pub for a change while we were over there,....we really liked it in there though" you rambled, hoping she was buying it.  
You feel her eyes bore into you, as you all then stop walking when you reached the bottom of the stairs.  
" Right,... the boys said that they saw you there" she replied, her eyes scanning your face.  
You couldn't tell exactly how much she knew or not.  
" oh yeah, we did" you smile, feeling yourself getting flustered.  
She gave you a long, lingering stare before then smiling at you.  
" Right, I better be off, I've got to meet Tommy again in an hour" she smiles.  
" Right ok" you smile back, " See you again soon" you say, as she heads off out the house.

It was now Thursday, and Michael or any other members of the family had still not yet turned up at the house.  
You were down in the kitchen with Charlie, feeding him his usual afternoon glass of milk and some toast as a snack, when you then heard heavy footsteps and rowdy male voices making their way down the stairs into the kitchen.  
" Alright my little fella" you heard Arthur bellow, as he came into the room and approached his nephew, who chuckled in response at seeing him.  
He was then followed into the room by his brother John, Johnny doggs... and Michael.  
You felt your heart miss the next few beats that it should of otherwise of took, as you felt yourself fluster on the spot where you stood, and your cheeks burn up as you didn't know what to quite do with yourself.  
He walked into the room, and his eyes landed automatically on you, his gaze fixed on your face as he seemed to stop at the entrance of the kitchen doorway upon seeing you in there.  
"Alright Nanny" John then grinned at you with a chuckle, and you saw him then look over at Michael, with a big knowing smirk on his face.  
Michael just stared back at his cousin, with no expression on his face, as he then slowly entered the room, looking down at the floor.  
"Hi, -..." you say out loud, replying to John but addressing the whole room as well, as your eyes remained watching Michael as his eyes were shifting all over the room, anywhere but to you.  
" Please tell me Tommy has not moved,..... yes boys,..... they are all still here..... Ireland's very finest... " Johnny doggs says with a grin, as he finds a cupboard full of fancy cigars and whiskey, "my own finest stash, boys", he laughs, as he starts retrieving them from the cupboard.  
Charlie then started laughing, letting out a bunch of nonsense, non understable words to Johnny doggs.  
"I'm sorry my little fella,.. but you are way too young to be starting on these yet,... you just carry on sticking with that milk of yours for now, my boy" he jokes to the child, as he then playfully ruffles up his hair.  
You smile at them and then you look over back at Michael, who was also watching Johnny playfully interacting with the boy, and Michael suddenly makes eye contact with you again, as your eyes both meet each other across the table.  
He briefly holds your gaze, before clearing his throat, and looking away back to somewhere else, as he started getting glasses from one of the cupboards.  
It all of a sudden feels so very uncomfortable in here, as you sense everyone else also feeling the underlying tension between you and Michael.  
" Come on now Charlie" you say to the child, as you pick him up in your arms, as the boy holds on to his last remaining piece of toast, as you just want to get out of there.  
Charlie then suddenly starts crying and wailing in your arms to put him down, and you feel even more awkward then you did before.  
" Oh look at that, he wants to stay with us lads, don't you kiddo " Johnny dogs smiles to Charlie, "Look,... the little fella hasn't even finished his milk off yet" he continues,.....making you feel like you were the world's worst person.  
You let out a small nervous laugh as your cheeks turn bright red, as you then sit the boy back down and he instantly stops crying as soon as you do so, and you feel Michael's eyes bore into you from the corner of your eye.  
" Thats it laddy" Johnny dogs then smiles to the child, as a now happy Charlie carries on eating his toast, contented now that he is sitting back down with the others.  
" Come on then..." Arthur gestures, at the cigars and whiskey that Johnny dogs was holding in his hands, as Michael finally removes the curious gaze that he had been staring at you with, as he puts the four glasses on the table and sits next to Arthur.  
" Do you want one nanny?" Arthur then asks you, as he started pouring from the whiskey bottle.  
" Oh no,.. thank you, I'm not allowed while I'm looking after Charlie,...and I don't even drink whiskey anyway" you smile, as you awkwardly just stand there as Charlie continues to finish off his afternoon snack, much slower than you secretly would like him to of during this awkward situation.  
" Nonsense,... ." Arthur laughs, " I'm sure that snogging members of the kid's family was not written in your contract of employment either,.. but that ship has already sailed, hasnt it?" he says, as he raises his glass up in the air before gulping it down in one, as John started laughing like a naughty school boy at Arthur's comment.  
" You what?... " Johnny dogs then laughs with a gasp, as Michael just stares straight ahead at the end of the table, not laughing or not looking at you or anyone else.  
" y/n here also gives Michael a bit of taking care of as well as her regular nanny duties" John chuckles over to Johnny dogs, who then looks over between you and Michael, with a shocked look on his face.  
" Ay up,..., when did this happen?" Johnny dogs then laughs in disbelief, and you feel your face turn bright scarlet, as this was probably the most uncomfortable and embrassing moment that you had ever experienced in your entire life.  
Arthur and John started giggling into their whiskey, and you quickly glance over towards Michael, who was looking very annoyed as he let out a deep sigh at his cousin's remarks.  
" So, are you two like,..., together now?" Johnny dogs then asked the two of you.  
You literally freeze on the spot, unable to catch your breath to speak, as you nervously glanced over at Michael, who didn't return your gaze and was just staring at the wall in front of him.  
" Don't be so fucking stupid" Michael all of a sudden replied to him with a harsh glare, before he then turned to look at you, and he held your gaze for a mere half of a second, with no expression on his face, before quickly looking away from you and started pouring himself a drink from the bottle of whiskey in front of him, his eyes not looking at anyone.  
The room all of a sudden went deafening quiet, and even Arthur and John stopped laughing, as everyone seemed to feel the awkwardness in an spilt instance.  
You felt the room slightly spin as you tried to ground yourself back to reality, your mind going into overdrive at what he had just said, and you quickly muttered,...  
" come on now Charlie, it's well past time for your nap", as you quickly picked up the child before he could even cry and protest against it again, and you darted out of the room.

You made your way up to the nursery without even stopping for breath, and as soon as you put Charlie into his crib hoping he would fall to sleep quickly, you sat down on the chair beside him, to finally regain your compusure as your mind was still racing fast.  
You felt the tears burn in your eyes as they started to make your vision hazy, and you quickly wiped them away before they could fall.  
That was it then, you thought to yourself, you had finally just been told what you needed to know.  
You had been such a fool for all these past months,.. as you feared, you had in fact meant nothing to him all along, ..., it had obviously all just been one big huge joke,... try it on with the nanny,... .let's see if she falls for it or not,...lets see how far she will actually go and make a complete fool of herself,....  
As if he ever would of wanted or even fallen for you.  
The idea of you ever being his girlfriend was obviously mortifying to him after what he had just said back there.  
You were nothing to these people,.....nothing but a mere insignificant member of their household staff and nothing more,... who they paid to just clean up the sick and shit and mess of the child so they didn't have to.  
The tears began to fall even faster down your face as you now could no longer control them falling down, ... you were just so angry with yourself,... how could you of been this stupid to of fallen in love with one of them,... you couldn't stay here now,. not after this,.. you now had no choice but to leave.  
You would call Maggie as soon as you got home, and hopefully Peter could find you one of those jobs as soon as possible.  


\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael's POV  


He had instantly regretted it from the very second it had left his mouth.  
He didn't even know why he had even said that, it was just that he could see how much they were embrassing you and he just wanted to spare you from anymore of their further joking and heckling, as he was hating every second of how uncomfortable it was clearly making you.  
However the moment he said it, he realised how badly he had just fucked up, from the look that had instantly appeared on your face.  
It had came out so much harsher then he had meant it too, he was just getting so angry with them and just wanted them to leave it and stop winding you up,... but now, he just cannot get that look that had appeared on your beautiful face out of his head.  
You had left so abruptly, he wasn't even able to make out what you actually said before you just grabbed Charlie and ran out of the room.  
Even Arthur and John had looked at him like he had just been a complete dick,.. and they had been the ones that had been finding it funny winding you up about you and him in the first place.  
They even had the nerve to ask him why the fuck he had just gone and said that for, after you had ran off like that..., and then Johnny dogs started reminding him about what he already damn well knew,... that you were such a nice, sweet young lady and that you were very stunningly beautiful, but also just as much on the inside as well as you were on the outside,.. and so soft and gentle with little Charlie,.. he would be such a fool not to have a girl like you.  
Then Arthur and John had started scolding him about how long that he had been going on about how much he liked you, and how they had told him to just get in there,...and now that he had finally got in there and finally had kissed you, after all these months, .... he then goes and upsets you by saying something stupid like that, instead of putting his claim on you and finally making you his girl.  
" You fucking donkey, Michael,... I guess you really don't have all the brains after all, do you? " Arthur scoffed.  
" You need to start fucking taking lessons in love from me, Johnny and Arthur here" John remarked.  
" Yeah, I mean, John's got seven kids you know, he knows what his talking about when it comes to getting women into bed, my boy" Johnny dogs said, with a wink and gulp of whiskey.  
Michael didn't want to hear it, as he knocked back more whiskey then he should be drinking at this time of the day.  
How much he liked you,.. he laughed to himself.  
They didn't even know the half of it,......, that he had in fact fallen in love with you.  
He never meant to do so...., and he certainly never wanted to of either,.... it had just happened.  
It just became impossible not too.  
He can't even remember when he actually realised that he had,...., or even the exact moment it actually happened,... maybe it was when he realised he thought about you far to much of the time, constantly wondering about what you could be doing and when he could next see you again,..., or maybe it was how his heart would beat extra fast in his chest when you were around him, or the way his body buzzed like electricity when your eyes met his across a room.  
He didn't like that fact that he was now in love,.., as it was something that he didn't have control over,... and he liked to be in control.  
But you had this power over him, and he hated that,.. but never the less,... he couldn't seem to rid himself of how much he wanted you,.. however much he had tried.  
He thought about what he wanted to do to you all of the time,..., it was like a drug,..., those thoughts consumed his mind constantly as the hours would go by,.... all of those little things that he would love to do with you, the ones that made his dick go rock hard when he thought about it, ... if only he could one day have that pleasure of having you as his own, and finally being able to fulfil his carnal lust and desire for you.  
He often thought that if he did finally manage to have you for himself, he probably would never be able to actually stop making love to you once he had got started.  
He would find himself constantly imagining what it would be like to be with you,... to finally be able to touch you in all of the secret parts of your body .. and to finally have you on the end of his dick.  
He thought about that too often.  
He had gotton so close,.. he had finally kissed you last weekend,.. after you had admitted that you were interested in him as well,.. you could of almost been finally his,.. for him to just fuck it all up in a spilt second with just a few words that he had never even meant.  
He kicked himself for saying it,.. . it was just the situation you both had been in, .... it had been the first time that he had even seen you since you both had finally kissed each other that night, and he had not of expected you to be down in the kitchen with Charlie,.. you were usually always up in the nursery.  
He had wanted to find you later on that day, to talk to you about what had happened between the two of you, and hopefully it could lead to something more between you both,.. but you had been there in the kitchen and it had just been so awkward.  
But he loved you,... whether he liked it or not,... he loved you and he just couldn't stop, .... and he was now just too much in love with you to lose you, ....not when he had almost finally made you his girl.  



	16. Chapter 16

You were relieved to finally be able to go home at the end of the day.  
It had felt like the longest shift of your life, as you kept yourself hidden away up in Charlie's nursery, avoiding them all for the rest of the day, before making your way out of the house at home time, without having to face them all again,... especially Michael.  
You didn't call Maggie that night, you were far to upset.  
You then made some excuse to your mom about how you were feeling poorly and that you thought you were coming down with the flu, as you couldn't eat your dinner and just wanted to hide away in your room so you could just cry under your bed.  
The tears had constantly fell from your tired eyes into the early hours of the morning, as you cried your way through stages of upset, hurt and then anger before you finally managed to tire yourself out and finally fall to sleep.  
You just had to get through today, you thought, as you woke up on Friday morning, with sore and burning red eyes,... and then you will speak to Maggie and Peter over the weekend, and hopefully they will be able to find you something else by next week and you could be rid of those horrible people, out of your life.

You managed to get through Friday without seeing anybody but Tommy, very briefly.  
You went home and then called Maggie, and went to visit her and Peter the next day.  
She was kind enough not to say 'I told you so' to you, even though you knew she must of been secretly thinking it, as she held you and kissed your forehead as you wept next to her.  
The worst of it was, you were still very much in love with him, feelings like the ones you had developed for him couldn't just disappear over night.  
What made it even more worse, was after he had kissed you like that outside of the garrison, you had let yourself actually believe that the two of you could actually get together,... you even had been stupid enough to believe that you could even of become his girlfriend.  
How could you ever face them all again, especially Michael.  
You should of never of gone for the job all of those months ago, and saved yourself this heartbreak.  
However Peter did in fact manage to get you a new job over the weekend, like Maggie had said he would.  
A friend of his friend's cousin,..., or something like that,... needed another full time cashier in his shop, as his business was going really well and was doing much more trade so he needed more help, and the pay was the going rate as well.  
He had said it was yours if you wanted it, as a favour to Peter.  
So you could go in on Monday morning and give Tommy your week's notice.  
At least you could get some final enjoyment from telling them all where to stick it. 

" What do you mean you are leaving,.... whatever for?" Tommy replied to you in utter dismay, you had honestly took him by total surprise, and he wasn't taking your resignation well at all, especially in the early hours of a Monday morning.  
" I'm sorry Mr Shelby, but I just think it's for the best if I leave at the end of the week" you reply, feeling his annoyance and distress towards you.  
" End of the week!!!..... I don't understand, I thought you liked it here.... you are perfect with Charlie,....and he is so contented with you... .." Tommy said, looking concerned.  
You pause, feeling slightly guilty at his words, and unable to know what to reply.  
" Something must of happened to cause you to want to leave like this,...." Tommy began, before he stopped in mid sentence, like something had just clicked in his head.  
He sighed, as he looked at you deeply with his piercing blue eyes.  
" Has this got something to do with Michael?" he asked sternly, staring intently at you.  
You nervously swallowed the lump that had appeared in your throat.  
" Um,..." you began to reply, not being able to look at him in the eye.  
" It is, isn't it,...., for fuck's sake" he ranted, his annoyance clearly visable.  
" I promise that I'll work my weeks notice,.... as stated in the contract that I signed,....." you began to say, but he just stormed off out of the room before you could even finish your sentence.  
Well that went well,... you sighed to yourself,... as you were left awkwardly standing in his office alone, as you then made your way up to the nursery, your face now burning red.

Tommy then avoided you for the rest of the day, not that you wanted to cross paths with him again after that.  
It was probably going to be one hell of a long week.  
You watched as Charlie happily played on the nursery floor with his toys, looking over at you now and again to join in with him, his smile wide and beaming at you, as he innocently giggled to himself.  
You felt a slight ache in your heart as you watched him,... you were going to miss him dearly,...he had become such a big part of your life now and you loved the little boy.  
It was horrible to think that you probably would never see him again after the end of this week,.. how were you going to say goodbye to him on Friday.  
At his age, his probably wouldn't even understand,... .,until he begins to notice that you were no longer around,... you hated the thought that he may think that you had just abandoned him.  
But how could you still work here, having to face Michael all of the time, knowing how much you were in love with him,.... and knowing now that there was never any chance of ever being with him.  
Michael had now made that very clear that it was never going to happen between you both.  
And it was just going to be way to painful for you if you stayed, to constantly be around Michael, knowing that there was just never any chance with him now and that he obviously definitely didn't want to ever be with you.  
You had just been his plaything,... that had been nothing but a joke to him,.. and he was obviously mortified at the thought of anything else ever happening between you both.  
You began to feel angry again, as you tried to discard thinking about it as it brought you nothing but pain.  
You would miss Charlie, and it will hurt terribly to leave him,....but you just had no other option but to leave.  


It was now Tuesday evening,.. nearly the end of another day and then you had just three more days to do after you finish today.  
Not that you were counting or anything,.. but you wished that you could just go now and try to forget about this place and everything that had happened here.  
You have had your heart broken here, ripped into a million broken pieces.  
You began tidying up the nursery, when you heard the sound of cars pulling up outside the house.  
Tommy must be home, meaning that you could leave soon.  
You carried on tidying up after Charlie for a few more minutes until your heart jumped a little when the nursery door suddenly swung open, without anybody even knocking, and you turned around to see Michael standing there at the other side of the room.  
You heart then jumped again when you realised it was him,... it still did that,... jumped in his presence,.. but your head then took over from your heart,... and you began to feel anger again.  
You glared back at him for a moment, and he held your gaze,..., he actually looked quite distressed,... but you just turned and looked away from him,.. and carried on tidying up the nursery as if he wasn't even there.  
" Tommy said that you are leaving,... at the end of the week" he spoke over to you, and through the corner of your eye, you saw him start walking towards you.  
You decided to ignore the question,.... why was he even bothered anyway,.., and you definitely did not owe him an explanation.  
You saw him then stop before he reached you, and watch you in silence for a few seconds, as you started folding Charlie's clothes, ignoring his presence.  
You had your back to him, but you heard him sigh heavily.  
" Why are you leaving,..., I thought you loved this job?" he then asked, and you could see him bend his neck slightly, trying to look at your face.  
You decided it would be childish if you carried on ignoring him,...,as it would only show that you were bothered by him,....even though you were,... you didn't want him to know that.  
" I do,... I did,.... but I've been offered something else" you reply, and it was only then that you turned to look at him.  
His face looked really anxious, his eyebrows were furrowed above his confused looking eyes, that were scanning over your face, and he seemed to be breathing a lot heavier than normal.  
" But why leave...?" he asked again, his eyes piercing you, as he clenched his jaw.  
You turn to look at him, and you studied his mannerisms as he stood there awaiting your answer,.... you might be wrong but he genuinely looked really tense and strained.  
" Like I said to Tommy,.. I just think it's for the best,...that its time for me to move on" you reply.  
He doesnt say anything back for a few seconds, but his mouth slightly opens as if he was horrified but what you just had said.  
You notice that he breathes in sharply again.  
" Why would it be time for you to move on,... I thought that we,..." he says before he stops mid sentence, and his breathing sounds heavy again.  
" You thought what?,. ..." you ask him.  
You were so confused,..., after what he had said last week in front of his cousins,... he was now acting totally differently,... he seemed extremely worked up about the fact that you were leaving.  
" I know that I upset you last week after what I said,..." he started, as he stared into your eyes intensely, and you gulped slightly.  
You let him carry on.  
" But I do really like you y/n,.... really like you" he carried on, as he stepped closer towards you.  
Fuck,... you thought.  
You found yourself unable to answer, so he carried on.  
" I really enjoyed kissing you,....I have wanted to for such a long time,...., fuck,... I don't know why I'm even saying all this" he slightly laughed.  
"No,... please,.. carry on" you finally answer back to him.  
You hold each others gaze, and he softly smiles at you.  
" We hadn't been able to speak to each other since that night outside the garrison,....and then the next time we saw each other was down in the kitchen with Arthur, John and Johnny,... I could see how they were winding you up about it, ... and you looked so embrassed,... I just said don't be so stupid so they laid off you" he says to you, and you suddenly feel a wave of relief wash over you instantly.  
You let out a deep breath, and finally let your mouth turn upwards into a smile.  
" I'm so sorry if I upset you,..." he said to you, and he stepped even more closer towards you, looking longingly at you.  
You stare back into his eyes, and softly smile at him.  
" I thought that you had regretted it,...,you know,...kissing me" you softly say.  
He let's out a slight chuckle, and shakes his head at you.  
" the only thing that I regretted was how we were interrupted in the middle of it" he replied, as he reached his hand out to cup your face, his thumb softly stroking the skin of your cheek.  
You felt your heart race in your chest.  
" your cousins do have an awful habit of getting in the way,... you should mention it to them about how annoying it can be" you softly laugh.  
He grins and let's out a small chuckle, his eyes gazing on your lips.  
You take in a deep breath as you watch him lean in towards you , and his lips are once again, pressed against yours.  


You feel his arms wrap around your waist, as he pulls you into him, your bodies now pressed against one another.  
He deepens the kiss, and like before, you feel his tongue try to enter your mouth, as you allow it entrance to do so.  
You feel the warmth of his body pressed against your own, as your tongues caressed each others inside of your mouth, and you wrap your arms around him.  
You can't remember anything feeling as good as this.  
Suddenly he then lifted you up in his arms and seated you on top of a nearby cabinet, breaking the kiss ever so slightly to do so, and when he had gotton you into your new position, his mouth then dived back onto yours, and continued to passionatly kiss you.  
Your wrap your arms back around him, as you shifted closer towards him, so your bodies were again pressing against each other, and you felt him press his crotch area against your own genital region.  
His hands then moved and cupped your breasts through the fabric of your dress, as he gave them both a soft squeeze as he started massaging them with the palm of his hands, through your clothes.  
You moaned in his mouth as he did so, as he then started rubbing his crotch area against the growing heat in between your legs, and you felt his erection growing inside the fabric of his lower garments, as he continued to rub his erection against your own genital area, and you moaned again in his mouth from the friction of it.  
" Michael" you gasped, as his mouth then left yours, as he started kissing his way down your jaw line, and then down the crease of your neck, the palm of his hands still rubbing against your clothed breasts.  
God... you wanted him,.. right here and now.  
"mmmm" you let fall from your mouth, followed by a few heavy breaths, as your felt his one hand leave your chest, and make its way underneath your dress.  
Your felt the coldness of his fingers start to stroke the skin on your thigh in an upwards motion, as his hand slowly made its way up your thigh tenderly, his gentle touch making you shiver, until his fingers reached the material of your panties.  
You felt his hand press against your covered vagina, as he applied pressure on it with a squeeze of his hand.  
Oh god,... you thought,... as you felt the heat growing inside of you.  
His lips then found their way back to your mouth again, as his stuck his tongue back down your throat with such a hunger, and he gave your vagina another soft squeeze with the fingers of his buried hand, and you felt the inside of your vagina throb in response to his touch, as he began rubbing it tantalising through the material that was covering it.  
" Fuck,..." you gasped, and you felt him smirk against your lips.  
Passion continued to arise from inside of you, from the friction you were experiencing inbetween your legs, and you let your hand fall down and began rubbing his erection through the fabric of his clothing.  
You heard his breathing stiffen, as you kept rubbing your hand over the erected bulge in his pants, giving him light squeezes over that area in return.  
" y/n,.." he breathed, as you both broke away from the kiss, to breathe against one another.  
Suddenly, you heard footsteps enter the room, and you look over to see that the nursery door was still wide open, and Polly had just entered.  
" Here you are,...I've been looking everywhere for you" she began to say, until she stopped as if she realised that she had just walked in on something.  
She must of just seen the back of him standing there as she first walked into the room,..and then her eyes trailed to see you sitting in front of him on top of one of the cabinets,...you were no longer kissing,.but both your faces and bodies were very close to one another's,... and Michael's one hand was still underneath your dress, as well as your one hand cupping inbetween his legs.  
You quickly pushed him away slightly when you saw her standing there,..., and Michael quickly removed his hand from underneath your dress at the sound of her voice.  
You swiftly jumped down from the cabinet as Michael stepped backwards from you and then turned to face her.  
Her eyes were wide as she stared at you both, and you looked down and cleared your throat with embrassment.  
She didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, as she continued to stare at the two of you.  
" Did you need me for something?" Michael then asked his mother, breaking the awkward silence.  
" Tommy's waiting for you downstairs,... John said that you just cleared off as soon as you all got here" she replied, as she looked from Michael towards you, and then back to Michael.  
Michael cleared his throat.  
" Yes,... I just needed to do something,...it was urgent,...but I'm coming now" he replied.  
She nodded at him, and then looked back towards you, before she then turned and left the room.  
" Oh my god" you quietly laugh, not knowing how far away she was yet.  
He just smiled, as he pulled you back to him, and gently kissed you on the lips again.  
" I'm sorry,... but I really do need to go,.." he said, as he broke from the kiss.  
" No,... its fine" you reply, your head spinning a little from everything that had just happened.  
" I'll find you again,... before you go" he replies.  
You smile, briefly.  
" I guess you won't be able to say that for much longer now " you frowned.  
" Why.. ?" he replied, looking at you confused, " your not still leaving, are you? ,..." he asked, a look of concern returning on his face.  
" I don't want to now,...no,...., of course not,..., but I have already handed in my notice now..., and Tommy was not best pleased with me when I did,.. .., he probably has already found a replacement for me by now and given my job to someone else" you sighed, regret in your voice.  
" No he hasn't" Michael replied, running his fingers through your hair.  
You looked at him, confused.  
" How do you know?" you reply.  
" because he questioned me about why you were leaving,..., and he told me to sort it out with you as he didn't want you to leave" Michael smiled, " I told him not to advertise for your job,..., that I would make sure that you didn't go"  
You smiled.  
" you did, huh" you grinned, "how could you be so sure that I wouldn't leave?" you laughed.  
He didn't reply, but looked down again at your lips, and leaned forward and kissed you again, long, soft and tenderly, that it actually took your breath away.  
" Because I wasn't going to let you go" he finally said, as he broke away from the kiss.  
You both held eye contact, staring into each others eyes, before he just smiled at you and made his way out of the room without saying anything else.  
You grinned alone to yourself as you sat down on a nearby chair.  
What the hell had just happened,.. you continued to smile to yourself.  



	17. Chapter 17

You spent the rest of your shift feeling as if you were floating on air.  
You were so happy about how wrong you had actually got it, and that he did in fact really liked you after all,... and wanted you just as much as you wanted him.  
Your head was still spinning, and your heart was still racing in your chest as you couldn't help but keep grinning to yourself after this afternoon's intimate encounter with him.  
You couldn't remember ever feeling this blissfully happy before.  
You were also hoping he was right and that you did in fact, still have your job here.  
You should probably speak to Tommy before you leave today, just to make sure,... you didn't know how you were going to explain your sudden decision change to him though. 

Tommy came into the room an hour and half later, to take Charlie so you could now head home.  
" Um,. .. Mr Shelby,..." you began, " I know I'm messing you about,... and I am so sorry about Monday morning,...but would it be at all possible for me to be able to retract my notice,..,as I have made a mistake,... you were right,... I do love it here,... and Charlie,.. I'd miss him terribly if,... " you continued, until Tommy cut you off in mid sentence.  
He gave you a nod, followed by a knowing smirk,.. as if he had known what you were about to ask him.  
" So I take it that you don't want to leave anymore? " he asked you.  
" No,.. I really don't,... if there is any chance that I could still stay on here as Charlie's nanny...." you began, before he cut you off again.  
" we will forget that Monday ever happened then, and we will hear no more about it" he smiled as he picked up Charlie.  
You breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.  
" Thank you,...Sir.,...I won't mess you about again" you reply, and you felt the release instantly in your shoulders.  
He nodded at you again, as you smiled.  
" I'll see you both tomorrow then" you said, gestering to Charlie who was in his arms, " and thank you again.. Mr Shelby" you smile, before heading out of nursery to make your way down the stairs.  
Thank god,.. you thought,..., everything seemed to be finally going right.  
You made your way down the stairs to collect your coat and bag, and Michael came out of one of the rooms to greet you, as if he knew it was now your home time.  
" Hey,..." he softly said, as he approached you.  
" Hey,... " you smiled back at him, as you put your coat on.  
You noticed Polly, who was talking to Ada, watching you both from the other end of the house.  
" You were right,... I've just spoken to Tommy and I luckily still do have my job here" you smile at him, as you grabbed your bag.  
He smiled back.  
" See,.. I told you" he replied with a grin, and you nodded in response, as you looked back over towards Polly,.... and you saw that now both her and Ada were looking over at you and Michael.  
You felt as if you both were suddenly the hot topic of conversation and you blushed slightly and looked away from their glares.  
" Do you want me to give you a lift home?" he suddenly asked you.  
" Oh,.. um,... yeah ok,... that would be nice,. thank you" you smile, and he smiled back and nodded in response, as he picked up his coat and you both headed out the door to his car.

The drive home was quite awkward,.. there was a lot of uncomfortable silences between you both, with neither one of you knowing what to say to one another,..other than you giving him directions every now and again, of where to go.  
He finally pulled up outside of your house.  
" This is nice,..." he smiled, as he looked at your home.  
" Oh thank you,....it's quite a lot different from Tommy's, with his being a mansion, after all,.. I can still get lost in there sometimes" you reply.  
He laughed slightly, and then looked back out of the car window at your home.  
" it looks kind of like the one I grew up in" he then replied to you, looking back at your house,.. and you see him suddenly get lost in thought.  
He must be referring to his old adoption home,..., but you made the silent decision not to press on it to early on,.. you didn't want to mess this up.  
So you decided to quickly change the conversation, pulling him from his thoughts.  
" Yeah,.. its just me and my mom here now,... after my father died" you tell him.  
He then turns and looks at you, his eyes slightly tense.  
" I'm sorry" he replies, as he stares back at you.  
" It happened quite a while ago now" you reply.  
" My father,.. .., my biological father,.. is dead as well" he then told you.  
" I'm sorry" you then say to him.  
" I didn't know mine,..., I barely remember him or anything,.. before,..." he says, before he stops again in mid sentence.  
You smile at him, and he suddenly takes in a deep breath, before he changes the conversation entirely.  
" I wanted to ask you,... " he began, "do you want to go out for dinner,.., sometime,... or something" he asks you, his eyes scanning your face.  
Considering the fact that he had already had his tongue down your throat, as well as his hand in between your legs earlier this afternoon,.. he still sounded quite nervous about actually asking you out for dinner.  
You couldn't stop your face though from grinning from ear to ear, in response to his suggestion.  
" I'd like that very much" you reply with a big smile,.. and he gave you the sweetest of smiles back in return.  
" I guess its a date then" he said, as he grinned back at you.


	18. Chapter 18

You were so nervous about tonight.  
Tonight was your first official date with Michael.  
He was picking you up at half six this evening, and you were going out to dinner together.  
It all of a sudden started to feel so very real.  
You two were actually going on a date together.  
You didn't want to mess this up at all.  
You had spent all afternoon getting ready, you got your hair coloured, painted your nails, and shaved your legs, under arms and down below,... just in case.  
You just needed to pick the perfect dress.  
Hopefully one that would make it impossible for him not to want you,....but classy at the same time.  
You finally found the one, a sexy black lacy one, that showed off all of your curves in all the right places.  
You began to do your hair in beautiful loose waves cascading around your face, as well as begin to apply your makeup, as you start to feel the nerves in your stomach even more so as it started getting even closer to half six.  
You did your final touches with some jewellery and perfume and you finally put on your coat and clutched your purse nervously as you sat and waited for him to arrive.  
You couldn't remember a time when you ever felt this nervous.  
Suddenly you heard the noise of a car horn outside.  
He must be here.  
Oh dear god,... you thought.  
You slowly made your way down from your house, your stomach doing somersaults, as you then entered his car from the passenger side.  
" Evening,.." he smiled, as his eyes landed on you, and you blushed slightly as you felt his eyes scan all over you admirably as you got into his car.  
" Evening,.." you smiled back, coyly.  
He looked sexy as hell, he had a smart tailored suit on, his hair was immaculately done and you could smell the cologne on him, the smell of it hitting you instantly.  
You felt a strong wave of desire wash all over you.  
There was a slight awkwardness on the drive to the restaurant, with many uncomfortable sliences.  
He seemed to be almost as nervous as you were.  
When you arrived, he got out of the car and opened your door for you, like a true gentleman.  
You nervously replied with a soft "thank you" as you both made you way inside.  
The waiter then escorted you both to your table.  
You sat down, and took a sip of water from the table to try and wet your dry, nervous mouth.  
You saw how he noticed you do so, his eyes fixed on you.  
" You seem really nervous,...? " he asked you, softly.  
You were embrassed by his observation.  
One because it just seemed so silly of you to be so nervous, after all, you two had already kissed each other twice now, so why were you so nervous about just eating together.  
And secondly, you really didn't want him to think that you didn't want to take this any further with him.  
Because you did,.... you really, really did.  
You had wanted and lusted after him for so long now.  
You just didn't want your nerves to fuck this up.  
" It's silly of me, I know,..." you softly replied with a nervous laugh, looking down at the menu in front of you.  
" Well, you look really beautiful,..." he smiled, gazing at you.  
You felt yourself flutter at his complement, and you smiled back as you felt your cheeks blush.  
He grinned as if he was amused by your embrassment from his complement, as he then asked you what you would like to drink.  
You both then ordered your drinks, followed by your meals, as you both tried to find things to talk about with each other over dinner.  
Again, it was weird that for two people who had not only already kissed each other, but had also confessed feelings for one another too, .... you both realised that you both had never really had any kind of actually long conversation with each other before.  
He asked you about your mom, your friend's, your time at school,... he did really seem to want to get to know everything that there was to know about you.  
The conversation then turned to his life when he was still with his adopted family.  
" Do you miss them..?" you then asked, hoping as soon as it had left your mouth, that he didn't think that you were asking too personal a question.  
He stared back at you, his eyes didn't even seem to blink.  
" God,.. I'm sorry,...that was so rude of me,.. " you started to apologise.  
He finally gave you a small smile in return, and shook his head slightly.  
" No its fine....." he started, " and yes,.., sometimes,.... I miss my little brother,....my adopted one,... we use to always play football together on the field opposite our house,... I think back to that,.... now and again"  
You just smiled back at him, as he continued.  
" I always looked after him,.. being the older one out of the two of us,....I find myself worrying about him sometimes, ... wondering what he is up to and how he is doing" Michael said, as he then looked down at the table.  
" I'm sure he is fine,..." you reply, reassuringly.  
" yeah,.. my adopted mother,...Rosemary,.... her name is Rosemary,... she is a good woman,...and she was a good mother to us,... I know that he is in good hands" he replies, finally looking back up at you.  
You smile sweetly at him again and nodded, and he returns your smile.  
" But I know that it was meant for Tommy to come and find me,.... as I was meant to return home,... to my real family" he then says, ".... as I know that I belong with them, .... that I truly am just like them".  
You stared back at him for a moment, wondering what he could of meant by that last line.  
" I bet Polly was so overjoyed to have you home finally? " you reply, with a smile.  
" Yeah,.. she really was" he replies, raises his eyebrows as he takes a gulp of his drink.  
" It must of been awful for her, all those years apart from you" you sigh, as his eyes then meets yours.  
He locks eyes with you, holding your gaze intensely, and you begin to panic that you may of said something wrong, until he finally breaks eye contact with you.  
" I suppose it was,....," he finally replies, solemnly, his eyes then looking back to you again, " but I finally found my way back home,... as I was always meant to do,... to return back to my mother,..Polly,... to meet Tommy,... and the rest of my cousins,... ".  
He stops, and pauses for a few seconds, his eyes penetrating your eyes so intently.  
" And to meet you,.... " he continued, his voice softer than it was before, and his eyes refusing to leave your face.  
His statement took you breath away slightly, and you got a bit lost in the moment from it, before you noticed that he was staring at you intensely, awaiting your response.  
You finally smile back, your eyes sparkling back at him.  
" And I suppose, for me to meet you, as well" you smile widely.  
You watch his face light up slightly from your reply, and he looks at you with a shy but adorable smile.  
You both laugh slightly, at both of your bold choice of words, but he continues to gaze at you admirably, with a smile on his face.  
You both then continued the evening chatting away, a bit more at ease with one another as the hours started passing by, as you both ordered more drinks, and started laughing and joking with each other, much more comfortable in each other's presence.  
He started telling you jokes about the antics of Arthur, John and Finn, and you found yourself laughing so hard that your jaw began to ache.  
It was really turning out to be a great night.  
Finally, as the evening came to an end, he drove you back home, the drive now not so quiet and awkward as it had been on the way there.  
He finally pulled up outside your house, and he turned off the engine, and then turned to look at you.  
" I had a really great time tonight" you smile at him.  
" Me too," he replies, returning your smile.  
There was suddenly a slight silence in the car again, with you not really knowing how to end it.  
" I guess I'll see you around at Tommy's then" you say, unsure of what to say next.  
He just nods, and you guess that it meant that was your signal to leave, and you go to grab the car door handle, feeling a bit disheartened at the end of such a successful night, until you feel him lean in closer towards you, at quite a fast speed.  
Just as you sense his movement, and turn to face him, he stares longingly into your eyes, and then he presses his lips against yours.  
You automatically kiss him back, and this time, having kissed each other before, you both quickly fall into a passionate rhythm.  
You lean into him over your seat, and cup the side of his face with your hand to steady yourself, as you allow his tongue full entrance into your mouth.  
You moan against his lips, as you both deepen the kiss, kissing each other much more forcefully, as if both your lives depended on it.  
The kiss then began to get more frantic, more passionate, as you both begin to struggle for breath, but both not wanting to let go.  
Finally, you both softly broke away from each other's mouth's, just for air,... your faces however still touching each other's as you both breathed heavily against one another.  
" I fucking want you,..." he suddenly says, his face serious.  
You giggled in response, and bite down on your lip playfully.  
" I want you too,.. " you breathe back to him.  
You watch as your reply seemed to light a fire inside of his eyes, as his lips parted and his body tenses.  
" What are you doing tomorrow night? " he finally says to you, his intense eyes refusing to leave their gaze on you.  
" Nothing interesting" you grin in response.  
" I can pick you up tomorrow night if you want,.. same time,.. " he asks, his eyes still filled with lust towards you.  
You smile at him flirtatiously and nod back to him in response.  
" Ok,. I'll be waiting" you reply, biting down on your lip.


	19. Chapter 19

Two dates on two nights in a row.  
You were hoping that this was a really good sign.  
Although you didn't know where he was taking you tonight,... just that he was picking you up again from your home at the same time as he did last night.  
Last night had ended so well.  
You two had kissed each other yet again at the end of it, very passionately in fact and he had even confessed " I fucking want you" in between heavy breaths, before you both agreed to meet each other again tonight.

You had this strange feeling in your gut about tonight.  
You didn't really know what it was exactly,..... but it had made you put your sexiest underwear on underneath your dress that you were wearing for tonight..., just in case.  
You wanted and desired him so badly.... it was like your whole body ached for him constantly,.... for his touch,... for him to satisfy you.  
You found yourself constantly wondering about the ways in which he could satisfy you... and what it would actually be like with him.  
You had been fantasising about him for so long now,....when you were alone in your bed at night,.... about him touching you,...fucking you,...as your hands often found themselves making their way underneath your bed sheets at the thought of it,... and your fingers then slipping inside of you,... as you caressed your clitoris at such thoughts,... until you got yourself so worked up that you would finally make yourself come to muffled moans underneath your breath .... just wishing that your fantasies could one day be true.  
But whenever you were actually around him,.. you were always just so nervous.  
It was like you could not think straight or breathe properly in his presence.  
Plus there was that constant nagging fear in the back of your head,.. that even if you and Michael did ever end up in bed together,... of having to show him your naked body for the first time.  
What if after all this built up tension between the two of you,...... he does not like the look of your naked breasts when he sees them,... or finds the look of your vagina attractive when he finally sees it... or what if he finds the old fading stretch marks on the grown parts of your body secretly disgusting...  
You had all these horrid fears going on inside of your mind,.. holding you back from what you really wanted.  
And that was him,... body and soul.  
You started to do your hair and makeup for tonight,..., something sexier you thought,.. as you did your hair in long, loose curls,.. and a sultry make up look with long dark lashes and smokey eyes, flushed cheeks and tinted blushed lips, followed by spraying some sensual smelling perfume over the top of your lacy dress,... you wanted nothing more but to make him crazy.  
Hopefully it would work,.... 

You heard the sound of his car horn, and suddenly those familiar nerves once again appeared back in your stomach.  
You tried to ignore them and not let them get the better of you, as you made your way down to his car which was parked outside.  
" Hi,... again" you anxiously smiled at him, as you sat down in the passenger seat next to him again.  
He gave you a small smirk as a reply, as he seemed to bite down on his lips, as his penetrating eyes once again scanned the whole of you, admirably.  
You couldn't help but enjoy the way he looked at you,..you had gotton the response that you had wanted.  
You felt yourself blush under his lustful gaze as he then turned the engine on and began to drive off.  
He started to ask you about your day, and other small talk to pass the time on the journey,..... to wherever it was that you were going,... he hadn't told you yet.  
He suddenly pulled up outside of some quite big, nice looking houses, in a very nice looking neighbourhood.  
You wondered why he had stopped outside here.  
" This is mine and mom's house...." he turned and said to you, gesturing to one of the houses.  
" Oh,... its lovely" you replied, slightly confused at why you both had stopped by here.  
" Come on,... come in,..." he smiled at you, as he stepped out of the car, signalling you to do the same.  
You smiled and followed him out of the car and up the garden path, behind him.  
He opened the door and held it open for you, letting you enter the house first.  
You walked into his family home, it was softly lit and very cosy looking.  
You noticed it had a warming and pleasant woman's touch to it,.. obviously polly.  
There was a fire that had already been lit in their fireplace as well as candles all across the room.  
You then noticed the dining table and how it had all been prepared ready for dinner,... perfectly laid out with fresh flowers and more candles in the centre of it.  
Suddenly you heard the sound of Michael closing the door behind you and then clearing his throat.  
" I thought it would be nice if we just spent tonight in here instead,... so we can try and get to know each other a bit better,.. just the two of us" he smiled, a hint of nerves on his face.  
" That would be nice,.. it's lovely in here,.." you smiled back to him, as you awkwardly just stood in the centre of their living room.  
" Please,.. sit" he said, as he gestured to the dining table, "and I'll get us some drinks,.." he said as he walked over to their drink's cabinet.  
You willingly complied as you sat down on the far edge of the table, adjusting your dress as you made yourself comfortable.  
" The usual....?" he asked you, and you nodded in response as he began to pour you a gin and tonic, and some whiskey for himself.  
He then came over and sat on the nearest chair beside you and handed you your drink.  
" Thank you" you smiled at him, as you placed your drink down on the table, whilst he knocked his whiskey back.  
" You and your mom have a lovely house" you commented.  
Michael looked around the room briefly before clearing his throat.  
" Tommy brought it for her,..., just before he found me at my adoption home" he replied, " he brought it so that once they had finally found me and my sister,..., we could all live here together with mom,..." he carried on.  
You felt that awkwardness again by one of your stupid comments,...you knew that his sister had sadly died as a child while she had been with her adopted family.  
" Anyway,... I hope you like lamb...?" he suddenly looked up and asked you, automatically changing the conversation entirely.  
" Yes,.. I like lamb,..." you replied with a smile.  
" Good,.." he replied, sounding relieved, " because Polly has cooked and prepared dinner for us,.."  
You smiled to yourself,... Polly had actually cooked for your date with Michael tonight.  
" She really is a good cook, you know, ..... it is all ready and is just being warmed up,...all I have got to do is put it on the plate for us,.. she said that shouldn't be to hard for me to do " he said, with a small smirk.  
You giggled back to him, as he rolled his eyes slightly before taking another gulp of whiskey.  
" Where is your mom tonight? ", you asked him.  
" She's out with Ada and some of the girl's,...she said that she would be stopping over at Ada's house as well for the night" he replied, as he then looked directly over at you, his eyes looking into your eyes intently, holding your glare longer than usual,... and you could swear that you saw a kind of twinkle appear in his eyes.  
You felt your stomach double flip,.... with nerves... or anticipation,.. you didn't know what it was,.. ... but it made you pick up your drink and take a gulp of it to calm yourself down.  
You could feel him watch you do so,.. as if he was analysing your every movement.  
You had that strange feeling in your gut again, like you had earlier.  
Was tonight going to be the night,... each encounter you had with him now had always ended with you and him kissing each other,... and now here you both were,....finally alone together,.. just the two of you,.. alone in this house for the entire night.  
You felt all of the hairs on your whole body stand up and a tingling sensation wash all over you.  
You tried to bring yourself back to reality as he was still staring at you, longingly.  
" Oh right,..." you finally replied,..and was all you managed to get out of your mouth, as you gave him a nervous smile.  
You saw his eyebrows furrow together and his jaw clenching slightly, as if he was trying but struggling to figure you out.  
He finally gave you a small smile back as he got up and poured himself some more whiskey.  
He also seemed slightly nervous.  
" Are you hungry?... " he then asked you, " I can serve it up now if you like... ".  
" Yes,...ok,...that would be great" you reply,.. as he nods back slightly, and then knocks back another shot of whiskey before leaving the room.  
Once he has left the room, you close your eyes with annoyance at yourself, and silently cuss yourself in your head as to why you were acting like such a idiot with him tonight.  
Don't you dare fuck this up.... you told yourself.  
He made his way back into the room with your meals and offered you another drink before sitting back down near you, with another glass of whiskey for himself.  
You felt even more nervous tonight, then you had been last night.  
You complemented Polly's cooking as you both started eating, as you tried to cover up your nerves from him.  
You started asking him about his work,.., trying to keep a conversation going so it didn't get awkward.  
He replied politely to all of your questions,.. it was mainly boring business stuff that you didn't really understand,.. but for a man who was certainly work obsessed,.. he did seem quite bored when talking about his work tonight.  
After you both had finished eating, you offered to wash up but he instantly dismissed it as he poured you both more drinks.  
You noticed him staring at you, his eyes suddenly lingering all over you, with a lustful haze to them.  
You started talking about Charlie to him, and all of the funny things that he had got up to this week as he politely listened and took another gulp of his whiskey, when suddenly he leaned forward into you, and ran his fingers slowly through the strands of your hair nearest your face as he bit down on his lower lip as he looked at you, making you stop what you were saying and pause.  
" You look so gorgeous tonight,...." he breathed to you.  
You gave him a small coy smile back and blushed under his gaze, as he then leaned a little more further towards you, and placed his lips onto yours.  
You leaned further into him, and deepened the kiss, as you felt his tongue enter your mouth, as you began passionately kissing one another.  
Suddenly, he pulled you to him and grabbed onto you as he rose to his feet, breaking the kiss.  
He lifted you in his arms and picked you up and sat you down on the dining room table in front of him, as his lips then attacked your mouth again as he hovered over you.  
He began kissing you more frantically, as you wrapped your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck as you passionately kissed each other as if your lives depended on it.  
His hands trailed down to cup your breasts through the fabric of your dress, as his mouth began to kiss its way down your neck, making you shiver as he nipped at the skin tenderly like an animal devouring its prey.  
You let out a gasp, followed by a low moan as his mouth began kissing any exposed skin on your body that he could find.  
You felt all of the blood inside your body rush to your head, as your heart began to race erratically with adrenaline, and all of your fears seem to just melt and evaporate away and be replaced by such an intense desire and need for him.  
You let your hand make its way between his legs as you began to caress the growing bulge through the fabric of his clothes, as your heard his breath stiffen from your touch to his lower sensitive region.  
" God,... I want you so much,....." he breathed heavily against you, and you felt your body tingle from his words.  
" I want you too,..." you softly replied, as a wash of confidence suddenly came over you and you grabbed his one hand, as his other hand stayed cupping your clothed breast, as you lowered his other one down to press against your vagina through your dress.  
Your bold movement seem to enlight a fire in his eyes, as they widened with lust, as his lips found their way back to your mouth again, before slowly sucking down on the sensitive skin of your neck, as his lower hand then found its way underneath your dress, and pressed down on your vagina through your panties with a gentle pressure, making you let out a higher moan then you had made before.  
" Fuck,..." he groaned, as his mouth left your neck,... " I need you to get upstairs,..now" he breathed erratically, like he was losing his composure.  
You gave him a quick nod as a reply, as your mouth's then made their way back to each other, and your head began to spin from what was about to happen next.  
He scooped you up in his arms and started to clumpsly carry you up the stairs whilst your mouths never left each others.  
He lightly dropped you as you reached the top of the stairs, as you landed back on your feet, and he pushed you against one of the doors.  
His hand went behind you to open the door handle as he then pushed you backwards into the room, his hands then beginning to tug at the fabric of your dress as he kissed you with even more hunger.  
Fuck,... you thought,.... is this really going to happen,... as your mind and body raced with both sexual excitement and adrenaline as your whole body began to feel hotter.  
He pushed you down upon the bed as he finally broke away from your lips, as he looked down at you with a victorious grin on his face and began unbuttoning his shirt at an urgent pace.  
You used those few seconds to composure yourself, and shifted upwards upon the bed to achieve a more comfortable position.  
He flung his shirt off as he then positioned himself on top of you, kissing you passionately again.  
You pressed your hands against his naked chest,... his skin felt so warm to touch as you moaned into the kiss.  
Your head began to spin with passion, as you suddenly felt him tug harshly on your dress, trying to remove it.  
He pulled it up your body with eagerness, as you raised your arms to allow it to slide off over your head, and he discarded it on the floor once he succeeded.  
You held on to the back of his naked shoulders, as your kisses become more deeper and erratic for each other, as his hands went for the straps of your bra next, eagerly trying to remove it as quick as he possibly could.  
His hands found their way to unclip it from your back, and his hot tantalising fingers seemed to remove it from your burning skin with ease, as he threw your bra on the floor alongside your dress.  
He looked down at your exposed bosom admiringly, as his both hands automatically went and squeezed both of your naked breasts with the palm of his hands, his fingers brushing over both of your blushed perked nipples, as they erected themselves instantly from his touch as well as the exposed air.  
You arched your back from the pleasurable sensations as he looked down at you with a smirk, before taking one of your breasts in his mouth, sucking it urgently as his tongue circled your hardened sensitive nipple, as his fingers from his other hand played with the erected nipple on your other breast.  
" Oh,... god,..." you whimpered,...as you felt his lips smirk against your naked breast.  
His mouth continued to play and tease both of your breasts, as you wriggled underneath him letting out stiffled breaths and soft moans, as you began to feel an increasing heat developing in between your legs, as well as a throbbing pulse inside of you.  
You needed more,... urgently,... as you raised yourself up slightly as you began to tug at his belt, as a signal to tell him to remove his lower garments.  
His eyes met yours, and he grinned at your silent demand, as he unbuckled himself at a fast pace, releasing himself from all of his lower clothing.  
Your hungry eyes trailed down his now fully naked body, and you finally saw him in all his glory.  
You bit down on your lower lip as your vagina continued to throb at the sight of him, as you looked down at his erected manhood.  
It had definitely rose for the occasion, and you felt your vagina spasm again as your eyes admired his thick girth and pulsating vein bulging on his waiting penis.  
He pulled you down the bed towards him, and you watch him smile lustfully as your breasts bounced around in front of him as he shifted you down the bed, as he stood over you, your mouth now parallel to his throbbing cock.  
He grabbed the back of your head, his fingers gaining a handful of your hair, gesturing to you what he wanted you to do.  
You looked up at him playfully, as his face looked down at you with an intense need written on it, and you relished in the brief power you currently had over him.  
You looked up at him doe eyed, and gave him a cute teasing smile back, as if to put him out of his torture and let him know that you were willing to comply to his need.  
But you wanted to enjoy yourself first.  
You hovered your mouth over his erection, and paused as you looked up at him, again giving him a playful smile, before running your tongue along the head of his dick  
You heard him make stiffled breaths as your tongue began playing with him, before you fully took the whole of him in your mouth.  
You smiled around him as he let out a long, breathless moan, as he grabbed the back of your head even firmer, and began pushing you back and forth around his warm cock, thrusting inside of your mouth.  
" y/n,.... fuck,.." he moaned, as he quickened his grip on your head, making your mouth bob up and down around his erection at a much faster speed.  
" Shit,...." he groaned, as his one hand fell down to squeeze and play with one of your breasts, as his moans became more frequent.  
You were shocked when he suddenly pulled your mouth off his dick, as you looked up at him confused.  
" I need my dick inside of you,...." he groaned, as he pushed you onto your back on the bed, his eyes looking down at you with such a passion you had never seen before.  
He hovered himself over you, and pulled your panties all the way down your legs, throwing them onto the floor behind him, as his hands began to caress your breasts again, and his mouth started kissing all the way down your stomach, towards your naked vagina.  
He started planting soft kisses down your wet folds, making your whole body shiver beneath him, as he spread your legs open around him.  
He looked up at you, your breathing heavy, as he grinned to himself and held eye contact with you, as he then slowly entered one of his fingers inside of you.  
You gasped as he then inserted a second finger and watched his grin grow wider at your response.  
He gave you a few seconds to adjust to them, as he started penetrating you with them, increasing their depth and speed into your wet vagina.  
You moaned and whimpered around his fingers, it felt so good you could actually feel tears slowly forming in your eyes.  
" Oh,... oh god,.... please,..." you cried out, which only made him quicken the pace of his fingers inside of you.  
You let out a scream, as your whole body suddenly shook erratically around his fingers, as he grinned to himself as you released yourself around his hand.  
You struggled to catch your breath, as you then suddenly felt his tongue slowly enter you, licking you in an upwards motion, before trailing his tongue back and forth over your clitoris, tantalisingly.  
Your hand grabbed the back of his head to steady yourself, as his tongue continued to caress your throbbing clitoris with ease from how wet you now were.  
" Michael,.. oh,... I,.... oh,... I,..." you whimpered, not being able to carry out a full sentence correctly, your throbbing wetness felt so good against his mouth that you could hardly breathe, let alone talk.  
" Please,... Michael,.." you gasped, the pleasure from his tongue was actually getting to much for you to bear.  
He finally departed his tongue from your hot wetness, his eyes looking up at you, lustfully and hungrily.  
He leant down, and kisses your lips with his again, as if to let you composure yourself for a few seconds, his fingers trailing over your nipples playfully, making you groan into the kiss.  
You breathe heavily against each other, your eyes looking into each others intensely, as his one hand then lowers down as he takes his throbbing cock in his hand, and slowly rubs it against your hot, wet opening in between your spread legs.  
You closed your eyes, and bite down on your lower lip to prepare yourself for him to enter you with it.  
" Open them,..." you suddenly hear him say, as you open your eyes, to see him looking down at you, his erection still in his hand.  
" Don't close them,..." he says to you, " I want you to watch me fuck you..." he breathed, as he then thrusted his cock inside of you, pausing to let you adjust to his length.  
You let out a loud gasp from how full it felt inside of you, as you went to close your eyes again from the feeling of how hard his dick was inside of you, before reminding yourself to keep them open.  
He started thrusting into your wetness, long and slow thrusts at first, his eyes never leaving your face as you whimpered softly at the feel of his hardness inside of you.  
" Does that feel good?.. .." he panted against you, as his one hand softly cupped the side of your face lovingly, his thumb gently stroking the skin of your cheek, as he started increasing the speed of his thrusts inside of you.  
" Yeah,... god yeah.." you softly moan in between heavy breaths, as he smirks back down at you from your response.  
" I want to watch you come on the end of my dick,.." he groaned, as he started planting soft kisses down your jawline and then down your neck, as he started thrusting inside of you at an even faster pace.  
You grabbed hold of him tightly around his upper back, as your moans grew louder from his increasing deep thrusts, your legs wrapping themselves around him as you panted heavily underneath him.  
God,... you felt as if you were going to explode.  
" Ahh,... Ahhh," you moaned underneath him, no longer caring about how loud you were being as intense pleasure began to take hold of you.  
You felt him quicken his thrusts even more so, pounding his dick into you as he moaned alongside you, as your orgasm washed over you instantly, making you let out a final few animalistic cries as your legs began shaking around him.  
" Dear god,..." you cried out breathless, as you felt him flop himself down on top of you, his breathing quick and frantic as he released himself with a wave of long groans falling from his mouth, as you felt his dick throb inside of you.  
You lay there for a while, trying to catch your breath, as waves of euphoric happiness washed over you.  
You had fantasised about that for so long now, but never in a million years did you ever expect it to of felt that good.  
He then turned to face you as he lay beside you, his fingers lightly stroking your naked skin tenderly.  
You looked back at him, and blushed slightly, as he gave you a soft smile.  
" I don't know what to say,.." you giggled, through shortened breaths.  
He grinned back at you.  
" Did you enjoy yourself,..?" he smirked, his eyes lingering on you as his fingers lightly stroked you playfully.  
" Yes,.." you laughed, as you blushed with embarrassment, " it was amazing,..." you smiled.  
You watched him grin in response, as he looked proud and satisfied with himself from your reply.  
" Good,..., I'm glad to hear that" he smirked, his eyes still admiring you.  
" So,......" you began, with a smile.  
" So,......" he repeated back at you, with a light chuckle.  
" What now? ..." you ask him, biting down on your lip as you looked up at him.  
He looked back at you, with a mischievous grin beginning to form across his face.


	20. Chapter 20

You had not been able to stop grinning to yourself all day as you made your way around the nursery, tidying up the place while Charlie was having an afternoon sleep after his lunch.  
If anyone could see you, they would probably think that you were a mad woman how you just kept smiling to yourself, as your mind kept drifting back to the previous night.

Last Night

"So,..." you said to him, with a smile.  
"So,..." he repeated back to you, with a light chuckle.  
" What now?..." you asked him, biting down on your lip, as you looked up at him.  
He looked back at you, with a mischievous grin beginning to form across his face, as you both laid naked beside each other on the bed.  
" What now,..." he laughed, " seriously,... that was not enough for you?, ...", his said, his eyebrows slightly raised.  
"No,...I didn't mean that" you giggled, as you blushed while he gently trailed soft circles on the skin of your stomach with his fingertips, that was making you feel slightly ticklish.  
" What then?,.." he asked, with a grin on his lips.  
" I mean,..." you started nervously, not knowing how to ask what you needed to know, but also not wanting to ruin this special moment either.  
He looked back at you, still smiling but curious to what you were going to say.  
" What are we?,.." you asked, not expressing yourself correctly with the right words.  
" What are we?,.." he repeated, with a soft laugh.  
" No,..." you laughed lightly, your cheeks blushing, " I mean,... what happens now,...between us,.. I don't know what you want?,... " you softly say.  
He frowned slightly, but there was still fondness and affection expressed on his face towards you.  
" I thought I had just made that pretty obvious a few minutes ago " he chuckled, referring to your recent love making on the bed you were now both resting on.  
You smirked back to him playfully, and rolled your eyes slightly at his humorous remark, as you snuggled into his warm body beside you, feeling his arm then wrapping around you, to bring you closer to him so you were pressing against each other.  
" I mean,... I would like this to be more than just a sex thing,.." you say as you look up at him, building up the courage to confess your feelings, "even though the sex itself was incredible,.." you then giggle.  
He replies with just a laugh, his mouth forming a wide smile, as he then turns to face you, lightly stroking the skin on your arm tenderly.  
" Your incredible,.." he smiles at you, his eyes staring at you with admiration.  
You blush and smile to yourself, as you start making soft circles on his chest with your fingertips.  
" Your not bad yourself,..." you reply to him with a small smirk, and he laughs back to you from your answer.  
" Not bad,..." he replied, raising his eyebrows, " I thought you just said that the sex was incredible" he laughs.  
" It was,..." you giggle into him.  
" I suppose that it just means that I will just have to fuck you again then,... and make it even more better than just incredible next time, ..." he jokes, with his eyes lighting up as he laughs.  
" So this is just a sex thing then?,..." you reply, playfully giving his an unamused face.  
" Do you want it to be more than just a sex thing?..." he asks you, his face and voice tone much more serious, as his eyes intently meets your face.  
You look back into his eyes, intensely, and softly nod back to him, holding eye contact with him.  
His face lights up from your silent response, and his lips turn upwards into a soft smile.  
He reaches out, and softly runs his fingers through your long, slightly dishevelled y/h/c hair, as he leans forward, and kisses you long and tenderly on your lips.  
" I'd like that too" he replies, as he softly breaks away from your mouth, and then places a gentle kiss on your shoulder.  
You smile back at him,... you could not remember ever feeling such an intense feeling of happiness as you did in this very moment, lying here in his arms.  
" Now,... about that next time" he softly chuckles into your hair, as his hand trails down and then squeezes your naked ass gently.  
You giggle into his chest, as you then look up at him to meet his eyes.  
" I mean,...I don't know about you,... but I'm not feeling even remotely tired,..." he smirks at you, as you smile back up to him, understanding the hint perfectly.  
You bite down on your lip as you continue to stare back at him, as your one hand then trails down his stomach softly, and then you take his manhood in your hand.  
You watch his eyes close, and his naked chest rises up and down as you start stroking back and forth around the length of his hardening penis.  
" Don't close them,..." you whisper to him, repeating to him the exact same words that he had said to you earlier.  
His eyes then suddenly open, as he looks straight at you, and a smirk appears on his lips from your comment.  
You smirk back at him, as you start to quicken your pace around his now erected penis, as you enjoy watching him react to you pleasuring him with your hands, as his mouth slightly opens and low breaths come out of it, followed by a few stifled groans.  
" mmm,..... shit" he breaths out, his face contorting slightly, as he takes lets out another low groan.  
He suddenly takes back control, pulling your hand away from his erection, as he then pulls your one leg over him, gestering you to get on top of him.  
" I'm going to make you so sore in the morning,..." he grins, as he starts stroking his fingers slowly along your wet folds, as you position yourself on top of him.  
You bite down on your lip, as you then take the whole of him inside of you again, the fact that you are still so very wet from earlier on helping to ease his access into you, however you still gasp once he is fully situated inside of you again.  
You slowly rock up and down on his erection, as you rest the palm of your hands on his naked chest to steady yourself.  
" Oh,... god" you cry out loud, as you quicken your speed around his throbbing cock, making the sensations feel even better.  
You let your head rock back as you continue to moan from the feel of him, as you then feel his hands reach up and grab both of your breasts, squeezing and stroking them, as you let yourself get lost in the pleasure of it all.  
You feel your breathing starting to become erratic as you continue to ride him, your vagina starting to spasm around him as the pleasure you are experiencing increases even further, like you are going to lose control.  
" Michael,..." you whimper through heavy breaths, as you finally look back down at him, after getting totally lost within your own ecstasy for the past few minutes.  
You realise that he has been watching you do so intently the entire time, his lips grinning from ear to ear and you notice how seriously turned on he looks from it.  
" That's it darling,..... I want to see you enjoy riding my dick,... I've waited so long for this,..." he smirks as he squeezes your breasts, the delight visible in his eyes, as his hands then grabs your ass, to quicken your speed on his dick.  
Your moans increase as you bounce up and down on him at a quicker pace, now totally losing all of your composure, watching him get even more turned on beneath you as you do so.  
" Don't stop,.. please don't stop" you cry, as you start spasming around him.  
If someone was to ask you your name at this very moment, you don't think you would of even been able to remember it.  
Your body weakens as your orgasm fully takes hold of you, and you let out a string of nonsense words and noises above him.  
You then suddenly feel him start thrusting into you erratically, extending your pleasure out for a few more sweet moments further, as he finishes himself off with low moans and heavy breaths.  
Your weak body then eventually flops and rests itself on top of him, slightly sweaty as you feel his chest rise up and down beneath you.  
" Fucking hell,.." you hear him gasp.  
" That's it,.. I don't think I'll ever be able to walk again" you breathe heavily, your head still spinning as you hear him laugh back beneath you, as you then start laughing along with him........  


Suddenly you got pulled out from your thoughts and your sweet memory of last night, as you felt two arms suddenly wrap themselves around you, and someone nuzzle into your neck, trying to kiss you there.  
" Hello gorgeous..." you then hear him say.  
You blush and smile in his embrace.  
" What are you doing here?" you ask him, with a shocked smile.  
" Tommy needed me to sign something.... and I figured I'd use it as an excuse to see you again" he smiles back at you, planting soft kisses on your neck.  
" You did,.. huh" you laugh, grinning to yourself.  
" I've missed you,..." he softly says.  
" I've missed you too,..." you reply with a smile.  
" And I wanted to ask you something as well?..." he started.  
You turn around and look at him with a soft smile, awaiting the question.  
" Would you like to come over for dinner again sometime this week? ,... " he continued.  
" That would be great" you smile back at him with a nod.  
" However...." he says, as he rolls his eyes slightly before continuing, " My mom will be joining us this time as well,... it was kind of her idea".  
" Oh right,. " you smile nervously.  
" She just wants to get to know you a bit better,.... really,... it's a good sign for Polly" he laughs slightly.  
" Ok,..." you agree with a smile.  
" Oh,.. and just another quick question before I go,..." he then says, a smirk appearing on his lips.  
He then softly traces his fingers against your clothed genital region, grinning to himself.  
" I hope how sore I made you down there last night has been a nice reminder for you all day today,....., a reminder of what I did to you last night" he whispers into you, followed with a soft laugh.  
You just smirk back to him as you run your fingers playfully down his tie.  
" I suppose it has been ,..." you smile back at him, teasingly.  
He grins at your reply, as he then leans forward and kisses you on your lips tenderly.  
" Shall I tell my mom seven o'clock this Thursday evening then,.. and I'll pick you up around 6:30 " he asks, as he softly breaks away from your lips.  
" That will be great" you smile back at him, as he then softly nods to you with a small smile, before making his way out of the nursery.  
You were so happy and in love that you felt all light-headed and giddy,... and oh my god,... you now had a dinner date with Polly this Thursday....


	21. Chapter 21

" God,.. I'm just so nervous about tomorrow night,... I feel like I can't breathe from how nervous I actually am about it " you say to your friend Maggie, as you then take another gulp of gin and tonic from the glass you were holding in your hand.  
She smiles back at you, as she continues to paint her finger nails some kind of bright red shade, with the nail polish that she had just brought from the shop.  
" I can't believe that you are actually going to be having dinner with the famous Polly Shelby,... the original gangster moll herself...in her actual house" she laughs.  
" What do you think she is going to say to me?..." you ask her, your anxiety coming through in the tone of your voice.  
" I think she is going to say,..." Maggie begins to laugh, as she starts grinning to herself, " Stop shagging my son,... or else I'll have someone lock you up in a big metal container and then I'll have you thrown into the ocean to sleep with the fishes for all of enternity" she continues to laugh.  
You look over at her with an unamused "seriously" face.  
" That's so not funny considering the circumstances,... and it's Polly Gray,.... not Shelby" you reply with a frown.  
" She was born a Shelby,... she is a Shelby,... she's one of them,...." she says, before letting out a loud gasp and looking over at you.  
" What,..." you say, your eyes wide as you look back at her.  
" Polly Shelby might actually one day become your mother in law,...." she gasps.  
" Let me just try and get through tomorrow night first,... and see if I actually do live to return from it alive" you say, shaking your head.  
" I mean,... what do I do if you actually do go missing after tomorrow night," Maggie then lightly chuckles, " I mean,... I can't even contact the police to try and find you as everyone knows that some of them are also on the Peaky Blinder's payroll as well,.." she laughs.  
" Your really not helping me with my nerves,... do you know that? " you frown at her.  
" Just be yourself, and you'll be fine,.. I mean, what is there not to love about you, " she smiles, " and like Michael said,... she just wants to get to know you a bit better,.. that's all".  
" But it's to get to know me better as his potential new girlfriend,... not just as Charlie's nanny anymore,.. its totally different" you softly reply, as you started to feel even more on edge about tomorrow night,  
" What if she hates me,.." you continue to fret.  
" How can she hate you,.. how can anyone hate you,... there's nothing to hate" Maggie then smiles.  
" You don't understand,.. she loves her son more than anything in the world....she was separated from him for so long,... what if she thinks that I'm just not good enough for him,..that her precious son could do so much more better for himself than me" you sigh.  
" That's absolutely ridiculous,...he is the lucky one" she replies firmly.  
" We don't know what she actually thinks of me though... do we? " you frown.  
" Your always going on about how he could have any woman that he wants,.... the great peaky blinders,... that they can have their pick of women,.. that they can be with any woman that they want too,..... but out of all of the women, in all of Birmingham,... he has chosen you,...he obviously wants to be with you,...and that's all you need to know,... and that's all she should need to know too" she smiles, reassuringly at you.  
You smile back, weakly.  
" Yeah,...I guess" you softly reply.  
" And anyway,....if you do get stuck for coversation or if there is an awkward silence tomorrow night,.. you could always tell her about those two mind-blowing orgasms that her son gave you the other night,... I mean, that would surely be one hell of an ice breaker over the dinner table, wouldn't it? " she then laughs to you.  
" It was three mind blowing orgasms actually and you are so not funny,..... do you know that? " you smirk, as you softly throw a nearby pillow over at her as she continues to laugh.  
" Now just try and be useful and try and find me a suitable and respectable, potential daughter in law kind of dress for tomorrow night,.. " you laugh over at her.

Michael picked you up at 6:30pm from your house as promised.  
You decided to keep it very natural looking, you kept your hair down and loose around your shoulders in soft, feminine curls, and also did your make up soft, pretty and minimal, wearing the cute floral dress that Maggie had picked out especially for this evening, underneath your best coat.  
" You look nice.." he smiled to you admiringly, as you got into his car.  
" I'm so nervous actually..." you replied back to him.  
" What... of my mom?" he chuckled, as he started the engine and began to drive off.  
" Would it be awful to say yes,...a little" you shrugged.  
" She's really looking forward to you coming actually" he replied, " She has not stopped going on about it all day, asking me what your favourite food is and stuff like that".  
You smiled back to him, feeling only slightly more at ease.  
He must of continued to sense your silent nerves throughout the journey there, as every so often whilst he was driving, he kept quickly glancing over at you.  
" Please stop worrying,...she's always liked you" he said to you, his eyes now back on the road.  
" She has,..." you replied.  
" Well not as much as I do,.. I suppose,.." he smirks, as he tries to make you smile and you then laugh beside him.  
You then arrive at their house, and you both make your way up to their front door, your nerves still very present.  
He opens the door, and he lets you enter first, before closing the door behind him.  
" Hello,..... mom.. " he calls out to her, to let her know that you both have now arrived.  
You then feel his hands softly around your shoulders.  
You turn to look at him, and he gestures at your coat with a smile, and you let him remove it from your body, which you feel him do so, so softly and tenderly, as he then turns and hooks it up on a peg behind you both along with his own coat.  
Their fireplace is lit again, making the place feel warm and cosy, as you notice a nice smell filling the room of the house.  
You notice the dining table all perfectly prepared again, with fresh flowers and scented candles, as you admire how homely it all looks.  
Suddenly Polly appears from the doorway of the kitchen.  
She looked glamorous as always, her bobbed brown hair in stylish curls, and she had bright red lipstick on and was wearing lots of jewellery.  
She looks over at you both, and then stares at you intently, her judging eyes scanning the whole of you observantly, and you feel your hands begin to start twitching nervously, before she then walks further towards you both, and her face brightens up with a warm smile.  
" Hello y/n..." she softly says, her face still wearing a smile.  
" Hello Mrs Gray,.. thank you for having me here" you reply.  
" It's my pleasure,... and please, call me Polly" she smiles, as she then walks over to the dining table and starts fidgeting around with the glasses and plates.  
You feel Michael softly touch the bottom of your back with his hand, in a sweet and gentle reassuring manner, as he then walks over and sits down at the table.  
" Do you like wine y/n,.. we've got both red and white,.." Polly asks, as she then turns and looks at you.  
" Yes,... I like both,... thank you" you reply, as you figure you should probably sit yourself down beside Michael at the dining table instead of just standing there.  
" I'll get the red,..." she replies, as she makes her way back into the kitchen.  
Michael turns and smiles at you, and you then sit down at the table next to him.  
" I can feel your nerves from here,...just try and calm down" he says to you, giving you a small, reassuring smile.  
You smile weakly back at him.  
Polly suddenly comes back into the room with a bottle of red wine, and begins pouring into the three glasses on the table.  
" So,...y/n,.... Michael tells me that he took you to the Gold Crescent restaurant on your first date,.." she starts to say, as she then lights up a cigarette in her hand.  
You feel your cheeks start to blush at her comment, as you nervously find the words to reply to her with.  
" Oh yes,.. yes he did " you reply with a smile.  
" I love it there,... the music,.. the cocktails,..." she smiles, as she waves her hands flamboyantly in the air.  
You nod politely and give her a smile in return as you took a sip of the red wine placed in front of you.  
You then feel Michael's hand touch your thigh underneath the table and he gives it a tight squeeze.  
You turn to look at him, and see him smiling back at you, but you can't quite make out if the gesture was intended to be sexual or just meant for courage and support.  
You then softly place your hand on top of his underneath the table, and you start softly rubbing the top of it, your fingers stroking his skin tenderly as you smile back at him.  
You then turn back to face Polly, and notice that she has been observing the interaction between you both, and is silently smiling to herself.  
" Right,.. I'll go and serve dinner" she says, as she leaves for the kitchen again.  
" Your still nervous,..." he whispers to you, his breath on your neck that makes you shiver slightly.  
" I'll try and stop it,..." you reply with a weak smile, which makes him laugh softly.  
He then runs his fingers through your hair lovingly, his eyes glancing all over your face admiringly, as his lips turn upwards into a smile.  
He then runs his thumb over your lips gently, softly brushing them, before he leans forward and kisses you, closing his eyes as he does so.  
You melt into the gentle kiss, and you rest your hand upon his thigh nearest you, as you softly brush lips with each other.  
" I can't wait to be alone with you again,..." he whispers with a smirk, as you both break away from the kiss.  
" Ssshhh" you whisper back to him with a giggle, your eyes glancing over to the kitchen doorway with anticipation of Polly's return.  
Polly then enters back into the room with the dinner she has prepared for the three of you.  
You all begin eating as Polly continues to ask questions.  
" So what made you want to become a nanny,.. y/n?" she asks you, and you notice Michael constantly glancing over at her, with each question she asks you.  
" Well, my mother use to do it,..., when she was younger,..and I always enjoyed having all the children around" you reply, and she smiles back at you.  
" So what does your mother do now then?" she then asks you, and you see Michael keep staring over at her.  
" She just works part time now, in a store where they sell makeup and perfume and that" you reply.  
" Oh, I always wanted to work in a dress shop when I was a young girl,...with all the grand pretty dresses in the windows,.." she smiles.  
" I know,.. but I always imagined that it must be quite difficult to work a till and deal with all the money.., maths wasn't exactly my strongest subject at school,... so maybe if they could invent a till to work out people's changes for you one day " you smile.  
" Michael has always been so clever when it comes to maths" she says, and she turns and looks at her son proudly, " you were top of the class in mathematics at school,.. weren't you Michael,.. as well as going on to study accountancy at Worcester College,... he also has completed a City and Guilds as well, you know? ..." she proudly continues.  
" Yes, I know,.. he has achieved a lot" you smile widely to satisfy her, and you notice Michael inhale deeply as he stares over at his mother, as if she was embrassing him.  
" He has always been such a smart boy,.." Polly smiles, as she takes a sip of her wine, " So intelligent,.. just as he is handsome..." she gleams.  
You look beside you to give him a smile, and you see him roll his eyes at her comments.  
" Yes, he is,... " you reply, and you give him a tiny smirk.  
Michael just stares back at you before clearing his throat.  
" I've made a sherry trifle for dessert,...my mother's recipe" Polly then says.  
" I love trifle,... its one of my favourite's " you smile back at her.  
" Michael always loved trifle as a boy,..., he would get it all over him,... he was that greedy" Polly grins, as Michael shakes his head slightly.  
You giggle at her statement, and he gives you an unimpressed look.  
She then heads out of the room, to fetch the dessert she had made.  
" Don't get embrassed,... it's sweet" you whisper to him.  
He rolls his eyes again as he takes a gulp of the wine in front of him.  
" Your still her baby,.. " you then say to him, as you rub your hand on his upper thigh.  
" I'm a grown man..." he scoffs, before slightly smilng at you, as if he knew his tone had been a little harsh.  
" Your lucky with how much she loves you" you smile to him, and he stares back at you intently from your comment.  
Polly then comes back into the room holding the desserts.  
As she places Michael's bowl down in front of him, you notice her run her finger's through his hair affectionately, as if to comb his hair back into place and keep him looking tidy.  
You see his cheeks go red slightly, as if she was mortifying him in your presence.  
You smiled at the scene if front of you.  
Michael had always acted so hard and mysterious when he was in the presence of his cousins and the other peaky blinders, playing the big man on the streets or at work, that you were finding it so interesting and just adorable to see this new image of him in front of you, with him and his mother.  
He really was her precious, baby boy.  
And you found his embrassment from it all just too cute.  
After you had finished dessert, Polly brought out another bottle of wine.  
She then started telling you all about the gypsy side of their family, about how Michael's grandmother was a real gypsy princess, and that they had been gifted with 'the sight', and you could feel Michael tensing up beside you, as if he was getting uncomfortable from it all.  
" Let me read your palm's y/n, " Polly excitedly says to you, " I've never been wrong yet, you know" she smiles.  
" Um,.. yeah ok" you smile back to her, and you feel both nervous but excited as she gestures for you to sit with her on the sofa in their living room.  
You get up from the table, and make your way over to sit beside her on the sofa, as she takes hold of both of your hands and turns them over.  
" Michael, make yourself useful and bring in some more wine from the kitchen" she calls over to him, and you hear him huff as he then gets up and leaves the room.  
You watch her intently studying the palm of your hands, tracing her fingers over each line specifically.  
You feel slightly nervous as she doesn't say anything for a while, as her eyes continue to penetrate into your palms, as if she was actually seeing something, until her eyes seem to light up and she starts smiling to herself.  
" mmm, interesting" she smiles up to you, " I'm being shown that you are in love, very much so" she grins, and you feel yourself blush from her comment, and glad that Michael was in fact out of the room and still in the kitchen.  
" You have a kind and gentle soul" she smiles,  
"however you don't have much confidence" she then says.  
Her face then continues to smile.  
" You have a very strong marriage line,.. you will get married,.. just the once,.. and you have in fact already met him" she grins, her eyes sparkling up at you.  
You look down at your bare hands, wondering how she could see any of this from just looking at your palms.  
" I see three children as well from the marriage,... two strong, smart and handsome boys and one very beautiful sweet girl" she smiles, her face prideful as Michael suddenly enters the living room with another bottle of wine, holding the glasses from the dining table.  
She then gives you a small, kind of knowing smile, as she releases your hands to take her glass from Michael.  
" So,... what did she see then? " Michael sarcastically asks, as he sits down opposite you both.  
" Michael, it is a gift in our family passed down from generation to generation through our female line" Polly sternly replies to him, as if to tell him not to mock her, " Have I ever been wrong yet?" she then says to him, her eyes boring into him and he quickly looks down from her penetrating eyes, as if he could not argue with her.  
After that, the night seems to go really well.  
Polly was actually really funny and very quick witted, but also kind, loving and down to earth.  
It was a totally different side to her from the stern and hard faced gangster moll that she portrayed.  
She made you laugh with tales of when Arthur, Tommy, John, Ada and Finn were little, and what they would get up to.  
And you couldn't help but find it adorable as well as hilarious everytime she embrassed Michael with her over-mothering ways.  
" You will have to stop here for the night y/n,.. Michael has had way too much to drink to be able to drive" she says, her words slightly slurred, " I'll just call Tommy in the morning to say that you will be a little late in and Michael will drop you off on his way into work" she smiles.  
Michael's eyes light up from her comment, as Polly then gets up and starts making her way up to bed.  
" Thanks for a lovely night" you say to her, and she smiles back to you, with a drunken wave as she makes her way up the stairs.  
Michael then makes his way over to sit beside you, and as he turns to you, you see his eyes look tired but his mouth still softly kisses the crease of your neck.  
" So, do you think that went well?" you ask him, biting down on your lip.  
He chuckles softly against the skin of your neck.  
" She loves you,...it went great" he says with a laugh, as his hands starts trailing over your body.  
You turn to him and smile, as he then passionately kisses you, your tongues caressing each other's with desire, enhanced also from the alcohol in your veins.  
" You still haven't told me what my mom saw when she did your palm reading? " he asked, his eyes now curious as you both broke away from the kiss, breathless.  
" Oh,.. just something about me meeting this handsome, blonde stranger in a few weeks or few months time,.. and he whisks me off my feet, and then me and him get married or something like that" you shrug, with a smile.  
He stares back at you, expressionless, as his eyes widen and you swear that you see his face turn paler in colour by the second.  
You try to fight back your smile for as long as possible, as you stare back at him seriously, with no expression on your face, before you can't hold it in any longer.  
" I'm joking...." you laugh, and he seems to suddenly breath again.  
" That was so not funny..." he replies, as he grabs hold of you as you continued to giggle in his grip,  
" Now get upstairs,.. because I'm so going to punish you for that...", he then smirks to you.....


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this chapter,.. the next chapter will hopefully be within the next few days. xx

You giggled into his neck mischievously, as he carried you up the stairs in his arms, playfully shushing you to be more quiet with a big grin on his face as he did so.  
He placed his finger against your lips, again to remind you to be quiet, as he finally put you down as you both entered his bedroom.  
You bit down on your lip seductively as you made your way backwards across the room in silence, teasing him with your eyes until you reached the edge of his bed and sat down upon it.  
He looked back at you with the same lust and desire, as you saw him begin to loosen the tie from around his neck and then start unbuttoning his shirt, his eyes never leaving you.  
You continued to tease him with your smile, as he removed his shirt from his frame, revealing his tanned muscular body, and you felt the urgent need for him to make love to you in the same passionate way he did before.  
You had craved for it ever since,...to feel him inside of you again,.... the way he felt,... the way he made you feel.  
He had now approached you, and his lips were on yours, and his hands were desperately trying to remove your dress.  
Before you knew it, having gotton yourself so lost within his deep passionate kiss, you were now laid upon your back in just your bra and panties.  
His mouth was hungrily attacking your neck as his fingers were fast around your bra straps, removing it as quickly as he possibly could, as his hands instantly found your breasts and began caressing them, his hot mouth soon having each of them around his lips and his tongue trailing itself around your hardening nipples.  
You let out a few pleasurable murmurs from his touch and his fingers then tickled their way down to play with the lining of your panties.  
You let out a high giggle, which caused him to look up at you sternly.  
It was a look that was to remind you to stay silent, but he followed it with a playful smirk, as if deep down, he was enjoying your moans of pleasure from his touch.  
He stood up and gave you a teasing grin, as he began to unbuckle his belt.  
You moved further up his bed, so your head now rested comfortably on his pillow, as you felt the familiar fast beating of your heart in your chest, and the rush of adrealine to your brain.  
His tongue trailed down to the outline of your panties, as he stepped out of his lower clothing, and you once again saw him in all of his glory again, and that beautiful, errotic sight of his raised and throbbing cock, pointing up towards you.  
He pulled your panties down your legs, finally removing your last piece of clothing, as he began nibbling at the skin on your inner thighs.  
He soon began trailing his kisses to your inner thigh in an upward motion towards your throbbing hot wetness in between your legs, as you then felt his tongue lick its way up your wet opening, teasing you painfully, even though it felt so soft and tender.  
He teased you again, as he held your legs open around his face, as he once again licked his way up your throbbing wet opening.  
"mmmm" you gasped with a soft moan, as he did it one more time, just to torment you, before he finally let his hot tongue enter you, as he began to work his magic on your clitoris.  
As he began caressing your throbbing clit with his tongue, making you release soft and stifled whimpers as you laid there before him, trying to remain as quiet as possible with the knowledge that Polly was only a room away from you both, you felt his hands reach up to find yours, as his grasped your two hands together with his, and entwined your fingers tightly within his own, intimately.  
You bite down on your lip to try and hold back from releasing your stifled moans, letting out just soft breathless whimpers instead, as you wiggled your head around on the pillow and held on tightly to his hands, pressing down on his palms to try and steady yourself.  
" Ooohh god... " you panted, as his tongue began making your legs shake around him, as you looked down the bed to see the back of his head which was buried in between your legs, giving you the sweetest of pleasure that was making your eyes water and your breathing unsteady.  
" Ooohh yes,..." you whimpered, as his tongue massaged your clitoris with increased pressure, your legs wriggling around the back of his head as you struggle to contain your growing arousal as your clitoris continued to throb against his tongue.  
He finally withdrew his tongue from you, as you then felt his hot breath against your soaking wet opening, and suddenly you felt a soft tender-like finger begin to play with your enlarged clitoris.  
" Aaahhh..." you let out a long moan, as you once again bit down on your lip, as the finger that was now inside of you began increasing its speed and pressure on your magic area, as if your clitoris was his little plaything to tease you with.   
You began letting out heavy and rapid pants as your breasts raised up and down from your erratic breathing, and the moans began to helplessly fall from your mouth.  
You looked down at him again, and saw the huge smug grin that was now on his beautiful but smug face,... he was enjoying himself.  
You felt yourself getting even wetter around his rapid finger as you closed your eyes from your increasing pleasure, your heart racing as you felt even your nipples harden as if your whole body was reacting to this.  
It was as if he knew you were about to release yourself, as he then withdraw his finger from inside of you, as your legs then flopped around him as he began softly kissing your hardened breasts.  
You felt yourself then ache painfully between your thighs, as you had not recieved the release that you needed,... and he seemed to be well aware of that.  
" Michael,..." you breathed, as his mouth smiled around your breast.  
" I know baby,..." he breathed back to you, his eyes meeting yours with a strong intensity.  
" I need you,.." you gasp, as if you were pleading with him to continue.  
He gave you a small grin again, as if it was what he needed to hear you say, as you then watch him take his erection in his hand, as he slowly began to stroke himself as he looked down at you beneath him.  
" Your amazing..." he breathed, as he rubbed his hand up and around the shaft of his hardened dick again, "I'm one fucking lucky bastard,.." he smiled, as he then placed the tip of his cock at your hot entrance, and you watched him close his eyes as he entered himself inside of you.  
He let out a long groan followed by a gulp, as he let you adjust to his size, as he then situated himself into a comfortable position on top of you, and began penetrating you with long, deep thrusts.  
He soon fell into a perfect rhythm, him thrusting deep inside you, as you wrapped your arms around him, trying to savour each moment of it.  
God he felt so good, as his lips found yours within the embrace, as he softly started to french kiss you, as if he no longer needed to breathe, as he continued to make love to you.  
You tightened yourself around him, making him gasp against your lips, as you both began to quietly moan into each others mouths, as he quickened his thrusts inside of you.  
" Ahh,.. Ahhh" was all that spilled from your mouth in between soft gasps, as the tip of his cock kept pressing against your sweet zone.  
You then felt him buckle slightly above you, and you sensed the sign that he was soon about to come, as his thrusts began to get even faster yet weaker, and you gripped on to him tighter as you felt your own orgasm begin to build inside of you.  
You finally came with a string of heavy moans and stifled breaths, as his thrusts finally became even weaker as he let out a handful of low groans, his mouth nuzzling against your neck as he released himself.  
You felt wonderful,.... he made you feel wonderful as you basked in your post orgasmic state.  
God,.. you were so fucking in love with him,... you felt that from this moment on,...that he was all that you ever wanted.  
You heard his heavy breathing as he flopped down beside you, his chest still rising and falling as you saw his torso flex as he moved closer to you, his arm wrapping itself around you, so you could lie your head against his chest.  
" Did you mean that..?" you ask him, after a few minutes of silence between you both, other than heavy breathing.  
You saw his brows furrow in confusion, as if he didn't understand what you were on about.  
" Did I mean what...?" he finally responded, looking down at you, as you began trailing your fingers softly on his naked abdomen.  
" That your one fucking lucky bastard,.." you giggled, repeating his mid-sex words as you looked up at him with doe eyes.  
You then saw a look of realisation in his eyes, as he let out a soft chuckle at your comment.  
" Why are you one fucking lucky bastard...? " you laughed, with a grin as you continued to stare at his beautiful smile.  
" Because I have you in my bed,.....in my arms" he replied, the second half to the sentence he said in a more serious, and much softer tone.  
He looked down at you, your eyes meeting with his intense one's, and he then leaned in to kiss you tenderly.  
" I'm so lucky" he smiled, as he softly parted from the kiss.  
" I'm lucky too,.." you smiled back at him, as your lips brushed against his, lovingly.  



	23. Chapter 23

Six Months Later

You and Michael had been in a relationship with each other for quite a few months now.  
It had been the happiest months of your life.  
After wanting him so badly for all of that time, he was finally yours.  
You sometimes felt like you had to pinch yourself when Polly would refer to you as Michael's girlfriend.  
You were so madly in love with him,... you felt like you were living a dream.  
You were finally and officially, Michael Gray's girl.

Polly had welcomed you with open arms,..., if anything, it was like you were her new best friend.  
Which made it even the more reassuring knowing that she liked you,...even though Michael would tell you that she adored you.  
The rest of his family also accepted you instantly, as if they had all known that it was going to happen sooner or later.  
And there was the fact that you were Charlie's nanny,..so not only did they already know you, but they all knew that they could trust you too.  
And Tommy didn't seemed bothered that you were now seeing Michael and he still treated you exactly the same as before. .. you were still Charlie's nanny,... it was just that you attended family occasions now as Michael's girlfriend.  
And there were always so many of those family gatherings.  
You were so nervous the first time you attended one as Michael's official girlfriend.  
You felt like you didn't belong in their world...an outsider.  
But they had all made you feel welcome... probably because of how much Polly seemed to approve of you, as well as they all already knew you as Charlie's nanny.  
You noticed how Ada and Lizzie had given each other both knowing smile's the first time that you had attended on Michael's arm,... like the two of you getting together had been a topic of discussion within the family for some time.  
However they were all so warm and friendly towards you, and instantly welcomed you within their circle.  
Michael was very protective of you at first, knowing how nervous you were with all of them.  
But Polly and Ada seem to take you under their wing right away and you soon fitted right in with their family gatherings.  
You noticed how the evenings would usually start with food and drink, and as the night progressed further the men would seperate from the women, to smoke cigars, drink whiskey and either play snooker or cards or they would go outside and practice shooting out on Tommy's land.  
Whereas the women would gossip among themselves as they drank wine or gin, which would consist of Polly, Ada, Lizzie, Linda, Esme and now you,... and you soon fell into the rhythm of it all.  
However, you both were very soon no longer the topic of conversation as Lizzie had recently announced that she was pregnant and that it was Tommy's baby.  
So you and Michael being together just quickly seemed normal to everyone. 

And your relationship with Michael was getting better and better everday.  
He was such a loving and attentive boyfriend.  
He made you feel safe and protected, as well as treating you like you were the only girl in the world to him.  
You loved how his eyes would constantly look over at you in a room when he was talking to other people, and how he would give you little sweet smiles here and there across the room, as if to say his head was with you,... even though he was on the other side of the room.  
And the love making was just incredible, it actually seemed to get even better each time that he made love to you.  
He made you feel like you were floating on air all of the time that you were with him, and you couldn't feel more happier than you were right now.  
As Michael Gray's girl. 

You were helping Lizzie in the nursery.  
She was moving in with Tommy, and had started buying things for the new baby, and the two of you were making adjustments to the nursery for when the baby arrived.  
You were in deep discussion and laughing away with her when suddenly there was a knock on the nursery door and Michael walked in.  
Tommy had returned to the house with Polly and Michael.  
And Michael of course had come up to the nursery to find you.  
He complemented the new nursery to an excited Lizzie, who then gave you both a smile before heading out to speak to Tommy.  
Upon her leaving the room, Michael then came closer towards you, holding his arms out to take you within them for a embrace.  
As soon as you leaned into him, he pressed his lips against yours, and began kissing you with such a hunger as if he hadn't seen you for months, even though it had only been a day since you last saw each other.  
You smiled up at him once you parted from the kiss.  
" I'm going to miss you tonight" you say to him, and he gave you a small smile back.  
You were going out with your friend Maggie tonight, as you had been worrying that you may have been spending less time with her recently because of your relationship with Michael.  
It was just that you wanted to be with Michael all of the time, however you didn't want to neglect your best friend in the process.  
" I'm going to miss you too " he smiled, " but I am going out as well tonight with Isaiah and some of the boys".  
" Oh,..." you smirked, " so you won't be missing me that much then" you say to him, as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck playfully.  
" I can promise you that I will " he grins, his arms wrapping around your waist, " I'll be thinking about you all night, wishing that I was with you" he smiles, tenderly kissing you on the lips, as he rocked you in his arms.  
" Your so sweet,.." you smile back to him.  
" Sshhh,... please don't tell anyone" he chuckles with a playful grin, as his eyes scan your face admirably.  
You give him a laugh in return, as you then place a soft kiss on his lips.  


You got ready for the evening with your best friend Maggie, putting on one of your best dresses, as you did your hair and make up.  
You then put on the beautiful necklace that Michael had brought you for your birthday last month, reminiscing on how he made your birthday so special, how he took you out to a fancy restaurant, showered you with gifts and then took you back to his place, and made love to you for hours, specifically focusing on just pleasuring you.  
You smiled to yourself as you realised how lucky you were, you loved him so much, and how happy you were right now.  
You wished that you could be with him right now.  
But you shook yourself from your thoughts, tonight was your night with your best friend, and to enjoy yourself with each other's company and laugh well into the night like you use to.  
You made your way to your favourite bar, and started to knock the gins back as you both chatted away.  
" So,....how is everything with Michael?" Maggie asked you, her eyebrow raised as she gave you a small grin.  
You nodded with a smile as you gulped back your drink.  
" Really well,... really really well" you smiled at her like an idiot, and she smiled back at you, sensing your happiness.  
" Your so in love y/n " she grinned, and you felt your cheeks blush red.  
" I really am Mags,...its so amazing being with him,.. he is so amazing" you smile.  
" You talk about him like even his shit smells of roses" she laughs back at you.  
You laugh back and shake your head at her through your giggles.  
" Stop it,.." you laugh, as you take a sip of your drink.  
" But I have never seen you this happy... its so nice to see" she smiled at you.  
" Thank you,... I really am,.. " you smile back at her.  
" You know,.... you and Michael should come over and have dinner at mine and Peter's one night,... the four of us" Maggie suggested to you.  
" Yes definitely,...that would be lovely,... I'll tell him" you smile, as you then finish off your drink.  
" Come on,.." she smiles at you, as she then takes the last gulp of her drink, " let's head across town and try out that new club that has just opened" as you both then headed out onto the street.  


You laughed down the street arm in arm with each other, underneath the street lamps in the busy town, as you entered the noisy club.  
The music blared out loud from the jazz players and jazz singers performing on the stage, as you both moved through the dancers in all of their fancy suits and flapper dresses to make your way to the busy bar and ordered some cocktails.  
You then went to find a quiet place to sit in the overcrowded club.  
" Its so loud in here,.." you moan, as you try to make out what she is saying.  
" I know,.. we can hardly hear each other,... we will have this drink and then we will move on somewhere else" she replied to you.  
You nodded as you carried on talking to each other, trying to hear each other over the loud music that was playing.  
Suddenly you looked up and from the corner of your eye you noticed Isaiah, Michael's friend and fellow peaky blinder, smoking a cigarette and chatting to a young, pretty female in a sexy little flapper dress at the bar.  
" Oh my god,... Isaiah " you say over to Maggie,  
" Michael must be here " you smile, as you get up and make your way over to greet Isaiah.  
As you start to walk over to say hello to him, you saw Isaiah suddenly start kissing the girl passionately, so you paused for a second, not wanting to interrupt him when he was obviously in the middle of something.  
And then, as you turned to walk away, you suddenly stop dead in your tracks, like your heart just stopped right there in your chest.  
Your eyes landed on Michael, who was sitting nearby and was with another young pretty female.  
You swallowed the lump that had just appeared in your throat.  
She has dark wavy hair just below her ears, she was smiling at him,... she was so pretty,.. with a slim petite figure in a glamorous looking dress.  
She was saying something to him, and he nodded and then smiled back at her.  
They then both got up from their chairs, and leaned in to hug each other,..it was a serious embrace and lasted a little too long.  
You felt your heart beat rapidly in your chest as your surroundings began to spin around you.  
After they both parted from the hug, he nodded at her again and then kissed her tenderly on the cheek.  
She looked back at him and gave him a cute smile.  
You felt sick and all of a sudden then felt like you could not breathe.  
You managed to quickly make your way back to the table where Maggie was, mumbling under your breath how you had to leave now while your head kept spinning round.  
You finally managed to get through the crowds of drunk and laughing people on the dance floor, and you could finally breathe again once you were on the pavement outside, in the cold nights air.  
A confused Maggie then suddenly followed you outside, as you kept inhailing from the fresh air, and you felt her hand on your back.  
" What's wrong,... what the hell happened in there? " she asks you, as you turn to face her with tear filled eyes.  
" Please,... let's just get out of here" you reply, as the tears in your eyes started to fall.  



	24. Chapter 24

Michael's POV

Michael sighed heavily as he inhaled in the smoke from his cigarette.  
He felt tired, it had been such a long day at work and he now started to feel the tiredness behind his eyes.  
He wanted nothing more than to be relaxing at home, his head resting on the pillow, snuggling up to y/n, just being able to feel close to her.  
He longed for his body to be entwined up with hers right now, and to be able to feel the warmth of her body against his.  
He always missed not being with her while he was at work,.. he always missed not being with her when he was not with her in general.  
She was constantly in his thoughts throughout the day, longing for the moment he was able to see her again, to be able to touch her again, just to actually be able to be with her again.  
She was going out with her best friend tonight, so he was going to be unable to spend this evening with her.  
He was going out with the boys anyway, but still, he craved to be with her.  
She really was deep underneath his skin.  
A part of him hated that, hated how weak she made him, but he could no longer deny his heart the happiness it felt from just being with her.  
So he had just given into it,... his love for her.  
He went to see her at Tommy's this afternoon, when him and his mom went over to see Tommy about business stuff.  
Just so he could see her today as he was going to be unable to spend tonight with her.  
He kissed and hugged her, holding her close to him so he was able to feel her skin against his, savouring the feel of her being so close to him until he could see her again.  
Suddenly he was knocked out from his thoughts, from Isaiah slamming down a bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him, as he began to watch his friend pour more whiskey shots.  
" It's fucking mental in here tonight, boys" Isaiah laughed, as he knocked back a whiskey shot.  
The club that they were in was packed with people, the noise that was blaring out loud was hurting Michael's tired head, and he had just been enjoying getting lost in his thoughts of his girl,.. y/n.  
He was wondering what she might be up to right now with her friend,... but he didn't worry, she was a good girl,.. she was his good girl.  
He was well aware of how lucky he was.  
"And I am going to get my dick well and truly sucked tonight, lads " Isaiah then laughed again, as he slapped Michael who was sitting next to him on the back, again knocking Michael from his thoughts.  
Michael then turned and gave his drunk friend a small smirk as he then knocked back his own whiskey shot.  
" You fucking wish mate, nothing but posh, stuck up bitches in here" John scoffed, as he looked around him at all the nearby women.  
" Nah,... the posh ones are the worst kind of whores,... you go on, my son" Arthur laughed at Isaiah.  
Isaiah laughed back as he then lit up a cigarette and gestured to Michael to come up to the bar with him, to get another bottle of whiskey for the table.  
" I swear man, there is so many good looking women in here tonight" Isaiah said, puffing on his cigarette.  
" Yeah,..." Michael shrugged, briefly gazing at the nearby group of ladies around them as they stood up at the bar.  
Isaiah then shook his head at Michael, and let out a laugh.  
" Your so loved up with that nanny, mate" Isaiah grinned.  
" y/n,...her name is y/n,.. I've told you to stop calling her the nanny" Michael replied.  
" Mate,... your getting like Arthur with Linda,... your girl has got your balls well and truly gripped firmly in the palm of her hands" Isaiah mocked with a laugh.  
Michael rolled his eyes at his mate, even though he knew there was some truth to it.  
He felt himself stronger than Arthur,... Arthur would not do anything Linda didn't want him to do.  
But then again, ... he probably wouldn't do something if he knew it would upset y/n.  
But it was true,... he wasn't interested in any other women anymore,... not now he had met y/n,.... y/n was the love of his life, and he felt like he was the luckiest man alive to be with her.  
And no one could compare to her,... or the way she made him feel.  
" Just because you are all settled with your girl,.. the rest of us single lads can still play the field" Isaiah said to him, with a wink.  
Michael smirked at his friend and chuckled, as he then ordered another bottle of whiskey at the bar.  
Isaiah then started talking to a pretty blonde that had been standing next to them at the bar, and he was flirting pretty heavily with her.  
Michael laughed to himself as he watched his friend chatting her up, as he then felt someone suddenly tap him on the shoulder from behind.  
" Oh my god,... Michael?" he heard a familiar female voice say.  
He turned around, and his eyes widened from shock at who was staring back at him.  
" Charlotte,.....alright" he replied, as he swallowed the lump formed in his throat, shocked at seeing his ex girlfriend here in Birmingham.  
She gave him a warm smile, a friendly one, and he gave her an uneasy smile back.  
The last time he saw Charlotte was after she aborted their baby.  
They had ended it, and she had returned back to London.  
" Has it really been over a year?" she asked him.  
" Yeah,... I believe it has,.... what are you doing here? " he replied, his eyes shifting about nervously.  
" I'm just down here for the weekend with some friends" she replied.  
" Oh right" Michael replied to her.  
" I see Isaiah hasn't changed much " she smiled, as she looked over at Isaish chatting up the girl beside them.  
Michael followed her eyes, and then laughed slightly.  
" No,... not much" he replied, facing her again.  
" She's one of my friends,...she into bad boys too,..like I was" she smiled, referring to their past relationship, making Michael shift uncomfortably on his feet, and there was suddendly an awkward silence between them.  
" It's good to see you again" Michael smiled at her.  
" You too,.." she smiled at him.  
" How about a drink then,... to catch up?" she asked him, raising her eyebrows.  
" Yeah,....sure" he mumbled, giving her a small smile.  
" I still drink the same drink" she smiled, before she headed over to a nearby empty booth to sit down.  
He then ordered her a drink, letting out a sigh of both annoyance and stress.  
At least she was only here for the weekend,.. he never thought that he would ever see her again.  
He then headed over and put down her drink on the table in front of her, as he sat down opposite her, and gave her another small smile.  
" So what have you been up to?" she asked him, sipping from her glass.  
" The same really,... still working with Tommy,... dealing with the legitimate side of the business" he replied.  
" Of course,.." she smiled.  
" And yourself...? " he then asked her.  
" Getting married in three weeks time" she grinned, as she flashed him her finger that was wearing a big diamond ring.  
" Congratulations,.." he smiled, as he stared at her ring.  
" Thank you,.." she smiled.  
Michael smiled back, and then looked over at Isaiah who had started kissing her friend.  
He sighed,... out of all of the women who Isaiah could of got off with tonight in this club,... he had to go and pick Charlotte's friend.  
Again, at least they were only here for the weekend.  
" So,... do you have anyone,... is there someone in your life?" she asked him, her eyebrows raising again.  
" Yes,.." he replied, " yes there is,...".  
" Oh right,.." she then replied, " just something casual? ", she then asked him.  
" No,... it's something serious,.. very serious" he replied.  
" Oh right,.." she repeated again.  
" Her name is y/n,...... and she's amazing" he replied,  
" she was employed by Tommy as Charlie's nanny after Grace died,....and now we are together,.. we are very happy".  
" I'm glad that your happy " she replied.  
" Yeah,... I am,.. really happy " Michael replied, " and I'm glad that you are as well,.. your a nice girl Charlotte, you deserve happiness too".  
She then gave him a warm smile.  
" So I guess it worked out ok for us both in the end then" she smiled back at him.  
He nodded back to her, and gave her a warm smile back.  
" Yeah,... it did,..." Michael replies, " I better be going back to the boys as they will be wondering where I have got to with their drink" he laughed, " but it was nice seeing you again, for old times sake" he smiled.  
" Yes,.. you too" she smiled, as they both then got up from their chairs, and leaned in to hug each other.  
" Take care,.." he then said to her, as he gave her a small nod as a goodbye, before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.  
" Yes you too, it was nice seeing you again as well" she smiled back at him.  
He gave her another slight nod and small smile, as he then headed back to where John and Arthur were sitting.  
As he sat down, they were giving him an unusual look.  
" That girl were were just with,.. wasn't she that London lass that you use to see,... the one you met at Tommy and Grace's wedding?" John asked him, grabbing the bottle of whiskey from his hands.  
" Yeah the one that you paid to have an abortion, because she was having a dirty fling with you before she got married to that other bloke" Arthur replied, puffing on his cigarette.  
" Yeah it was,... she is just down here for the weekend with friends,...and Isaiah has his tongue down one of her friends throat" Michael scoffed.  
Arthur and John then laughed in response.  
" So you didn't fancy another go on her again,... for old times sake" Arthur then asked him.  
" I'm with y/n,.... I love y/n,... I'm not going to do anything stupid to fuck it up,... she's the only girl I want to be with from now on,.. I love her,.. alright" Michael replied, as he knocked back a shot of whiskey.  
" Your loved up to your fucking eyeballs mate" John laughed, as he patted Michael on the back.  
Michael was loved up.  
He loved y/n completely.  
He had never loved anyone as much as he loved her.  
He had been with many other girls before,... like Charlotte.  
They had been fun,.. he had liked them,.. even cared for some of them,... but he had never loved them.  
Not like he loved y/n.  
With all them, it had just been about fun,.. and great sex.  
Him and Charlotte use to have incredible sex,... but he had never been in love with her.  
He had never wanted to be in love,.. not ever in his life.  
He had witnessed how weak it had made other strong men.  
And how painful it was,... what it had done to Tommy after the love of his life, Grace was killed.  
He saw how it destroyed Tommy when she died.  
And he never wanted to go through that,...not ever.  
But one day,.. out of nowhere,.. y/n had suddenly entered his life,... and he had accidently fallen in love with her.  
And now, he wanted nobody else in the whole world, but her.  
He sometimes felt like he would probably die if there was ever a time that he could no longer be with her.  
Yes,... he was most definitely madly in love.  
He didn't even care that his cousins and mates mocked him about it.  
He was the lucky one.  
He had found something,... someone so amazing,.. and he was never going to let her go.  
" Don't worry mate,... we won't let on to y/n about your little run in with your ex tonight" Arthur laughed.  
Michael gave his cousin a small smile.  
Definitely not, Michael thought.  
He had never told y/n about Charlotte.  
Of course she knew that he had other girlfriends before he met her.  
But that was all in the past,...and y/n was now his future.  
The only future he wanted.  



	25. Chapter 25

Back to Reader POV

You let out a heavy sigh as you watched Charlie eat his lunch, as the two of you sat together eating sandwiches in the kitchen.  
You just couldn't stop thinking about what you saw last night.  
You had not had any sleep at all last night from worrying about it.  
After seeing Michael sitting with that pretty, young woman in that club,.. just the two of them,... and him then getting up and hugging her and then kissing her.  
Before you ran out of there.  
And it had been constantly on your mind every since.  
Making you feel more sick by the minute.  
Maggie told you to just ask him straight out about it the next time that you saw him.  
But you were scared of what the answer might be if you confronted him about it.  
What if there was someone else.  
The thought alone broke your heart into a million pieces.  
You felt that your relationship with him had been going brilliantly.  
You had never been so in love with someone in all of your life as you were with Michael,.. and you thought that he felt the same way.  
Well,...that is what you had thought. 

Suddenly you heard footsteps coming down the stairs.  
Johnny Doggs appeared from around the corner, followed by Arthur, John, Finn and Michael.  
" Ay up laddy" Johnny doggs smiled at little Charlie, as he sat down beside him, ruffling the little lad's hair up.  
You saw Michael come into your full view, and you saw his face light up when his eyes landed on you.  
He smiled widely at you, like he was genuinely happy to see you, but you just looked blankly back at him before looking down away from his stare.  
" Get the booze and cigars out, John boy " Arthur grinned, as he slouched down on the chair opposite you.  
John then started going through the cupboards, getting bottles and cigar tins out from in there in his hands, as Finn sat down beside Arthur.  
You looked up to see Michael still standing there, his eyes still on you.  
His eyebrows were furrowed, and he was now staring at you with a confused look on his face.  
He gave you another smile again, a smaller and more puzzled one this time, but you just looked away from him again.  
You then saw him walk around the table from the corner of your eye, and you felt him sit down on the chair next to you.  
You could feel his eyes staring into your face intently.  
John started placing glasses on the table, and Charlie giggled as he watched his Uncle John do so.  
" Do you want one y/n?" John then asked you, as he had placed a glass in front of everyone around the table except for you,... and obviously Charlie.  
" Go on then" you replied, giving John a small smile.  
The room then suddenly went awkwardly silent.  
You had never drank whiskey ever before in your life, and you got the instant impression that John had just asked you to be polite, and that everyone was shocked by your reply.  
You notice Arthur and Finn stare at you weirdly before giving each other a confused look, and John's face suddenly turn into a amused grin, as he then looked over and smirked at Michael, before pouring you a glass, as if he was amused by your answer.  
As soon as he poured it, you knocked it back in one big gulp, and again, all of the men stared around at each other at the table, and again John gave you an amused grin.  
You could feel Michael's eyes glaring into the side of you from where he sat beside you, and you could see him stretching his neck forward from the corner of your eye as if he was trying to see your face a bit more.  
You then felt his hand suddenly touch your back, as he started softly stroking your lower back lovingly with his hand, his face still looking puzzled at you.  
" Where's fucking Tommy anyway?" John asks out loud, breaking the awkward silence.  
" He left early this morning with Pol" you replied.  
John nodded at you, as he knocked back his whiskey.  
You looked over at Charlie, who had now finished his sandwich, and you saw it as an opportunity to leave.  
You just felt so angry with Michael, but you couldn't exactly have it out with him right now in front of his family.  
You stood up, so your back was now out of reach from Michael's touch, and you picked Charlie up in your arms.  
You could still see a confused looking Michael from the corner of your eye, his face looked hurt and rejected by you removing yourself away from his touch.  
" Your going,....but you haven't even finished your lunch yet, " a concerned Michael said to the back of you, referring to your sandwich that was still on the plate that had not even been touched.  
" I'm not hungry" you replied, a coldness to your voice, as you kept your back to him.  
You could see all of the men look at one another around the table from the corner of your eye, as if they could all feel and sense the tension between you and Michael.  
You mumbled a quick and quiet goodbye to everyone as you headed out of the kitchen with Charlie.  


You had not been up in the nursery long, maybe just half an hour, before Michael came up to find you.  
" Hey,..." he softly said, as he entered the room, his face looking at you with concern.  
" Hi,.." you replied, as you then turned away from him.  
You felt him pause, before he started walking over towards where you were standing.  
" Is something wrong?" he asked you, and as he reached you, he touched your upper arm gently.  
You looked back at him.  
You saw his eyes scanning your face, as he paused in front of you, awaiting your reply eagerly.  
You paused back,... and stared at him intently.  
God you loved him,.. you loved him so much.  
You just didn't know how to confront him.  
How to say out loud that you accidently saw him at that club last night when you were out with your best friend.  
That you saw him sitting there with another woman,... and how he hugged and kissed her on the cheek.  
What if he really was cheating with someone else.  
You didn't think that you wanted to know the answer,...you didn't think that you could bear it,... but of course, you needed to know.  
You continued to just stare at him, unable to say the words out loud, not wanting to make it real.  
He continues to stare back at you, his eyes widening as if he was getting more puzzled as to why you were just frozen in time looking back at him, and not saying anything in response to his question.  
His eyes dart back and forth between your eyes, his face frowning from your continual lack of reply.  
" y/n,..." he says, trying to alert you to the fact that he had just asked you a question, which you had not yet replied to.  
You open your mouth slightly, still unsure of how to start it off as he continues staring at you, his face full of concern.  
Suddenly you hear the sound of high heels approaching, and Polly appears in the room.  
" There you two are?" she smiles, " Dinner will be at six tonight, so don't forget to pick y/n up after work Michael" his mother addressed him.  
Michael didn't turn around to look at her, he just continued glaring at you, his eyes not looking away from your face, and full of deep concern.  
That was right, you had arranged to have dinner at Polly and Michael's house tonight, after work.  
You cleared you throat and looked over at Polly.  
" Yes,.... can't wait,..." you managed to smile at her, and she gave you a warm smile back.  
" Come on now Michael,.. let y/n get back to her work,...you will see her again tonight and Tommy is waiting downstairs for us both" she ushered to her son.  
Michael held his gaze on you for a few seconds longer, and you could tell that he knew something was wrong.  
" I'll see you later,..." he whispered to you, his voice soft and quiet, as he leaned forward and kisses you gently on your forehead.  
His eyes then trail back down to your face again, his face so close to your own, and he was still staring at you intently.  
You nod back at him slightly, your faces almost pressing against each other.  
You hear him let out a heavy sigh, feeling his breath on your face like he was frustrated, as he locks eyes with you once more, staring deep into them as if he was trying to read you one more time, before finally turning away to leave with Polly.  
" See you tonight y/n " Polly smiles at you.  
" Yes, see you tonight " you smile back at her, as you watch them both leave the room.  
You let out a deep breath once they had gone.  
You knew that Michael knew that something was wrong.  
And you now had to sit through dinner with him and Polly tonight, feeling like this.  


Your home time finally arrived and you got your coat and bag and waited in the foyer of Tommy's house for Michael to pick you up.  
You saw Michael's car driving up Tommy's estate from the distance, as you headed outside to meet him.  
You opened the passenger door, and sat down next to him in the car.  
You didn't say anything, and there was an awkward silence as he turned the engine back on and began to drive you both to Polly's house.  
" Are you going to tell me what's wrong? " he asked you, his voice low and subdued.  
" Nothing is wrong,..." you replied abruptly.  
Confronting him about it whilst he was driving and when you couldn't see his face properly was probably not the best idea.  
And you had to get through this dinner first and you didn't want to upset Polly.  
You loved Polly,... and this wasn't her fault.  
You let out a deep breath,... as you started fidgeting nervously with your hands with anxiety.  
You started to feel emotional,... and tried to hold back the tears that was burning in your eyes again by fidgeting around with your bag on your lap.  
You heard Michael let out a heavy sigh.  
" If you say so,... but I know that something is wrong" Michael replied, as he quickly glanced over at you for a second before returning his eyes back to the road in front of him.  
You bit down on your lip, trying not to let your tears fall down from your eyes.  
" I'm fine,..." you mumbled, not looking at him so he couldn't see your tear filled eyes.  
You heard him let out a deep breath, as if you were frustrating him.  
" I know your not,... has someone upset you?" Michael then asks you.  
You scoff slightly, as you turn to look out of the window.  
" Is it me,... have I done something to upset you?" he then asks the back of your head.  
" I don't want to discuss it while we are going to your mom's" you reply, still not looking at him.  
" So it is something that I have done then,... whatever it is, just tell me,...because I have been going over it in my head all day of what I could of done to upset you,.. and I just can't think of it" Michael then said to you, his eyes glancing over at you again whilst he drove.  
" Please,.. just let's talk about it later,... after we have had dinner with your mom ,....lets not ruin Polly's evening" you reply, finally looking over at him.  
He let's out a deeper sigh, as if he was getting annoyed.  
" Look,... whatever it is that I have done,... I'm so sorry ok,.. I would never of meant to upset you intentionally,.. .. not ever" he replied to you, his voice now raised.  
You look over at him, his face looked worried, and he was clenching his jaw in the way he always did when something was bothering him.  
You let out a heavy sigh, wishing you could just have it out with him right now, desperate to know who she was, but he was just about to pull up outside of Polly's house, so you had to put on your 'happy face' for Polly's benefit so she didn't suspect that something was wrong.  
He pulled up outside, and just got out of the car without saying anything, and he didn't even wait for you as he started walking up Polly's path without you.  
You frowned as you then followed him, quite a few metres behind him as he stormed off in front.  
You had obviously caused him to now be in a mood.  
Just as you reached him, Polly suddenly opened the door and greeted you both with a big smile.  
" Hello you two,.." she smiled, as she opened the door out wide for you both to enter.  
Michael gave his mom the shortest of smiles as he handed her the bottle of wine that he had brought along with him, as he just walked right past her into the house and took his jacket off.  
Polly gave him a weird look, sensing his bad mood before turning to you and giving you a wide smile as she kissed you on the cheek.  
" Hello darling,.." she smiled at you.  
" Hi Pol,..." you smiled back at her, as you kissed her back.  
You watched as Michael walked across the room and sat down at the dining table, as if it was a chore that he had to get through.  
" Hello Michael,.. " she sarcastically said over to her son, and from her tone of voice you knew that she had already sensed that something was up.  
" Alright,..." Michael grumbled at her.  
You tried to keep a comfortable athompshere.  
" What's for dinner? " you smiled at her, trying to remain as cheerful as possible.  
" I've cooked us a joint of beef,... and I've made milk jelly for dessert " she replied, as she then turned and looked at Michael, " it was your favourite when you were a child,... do you remember Michael? " she asked over at him.  
He nodded back at her, and gave her a small smile.  
" Do you need a hand? " you asked her.  
" No, no,... you just sit down next to Michael,... it will be ready in five minutes " she said to you as she made her way back into the kitchen.  
You then made your way over to the table and sat down opposite him in silence.  
You could really sense the tension between you both.  
You just stared at him, but he refused to look at you.  
" Please,.... don't cause a scene in front of Polly" you asked him.  
He finally turned and looked back at you, you could see that he was angry by the way that his penetrating eyes were glaring daggers into you.  
" I'm not the one who has the problem" he replied,.. " I just want to know what I have done to make you so mad at me" he said, his voice sounding desperate.  
You sighed,... even though you were worried sick that he had been cheating on you,.. it finally dawned on you that you were actually having your first argument as a couple.  
If only it was about something stupid,... like him forgetting to pick up a loaf of bread from the bakers on his way home from work or him leaving a light on overnight by accident.  
Not with you worrying sick that you were going to lose him to another woman.  
He was your world,... and you loved him more than anything else in this world.  
You didn't think that you would be able to breathe if you two were no longer together.  
How did you manage to get yourself so far in love with him, that you felt like you couldn't live without him.  
" I saw you,... I saw you with her" you suddenly blurted out to him across the table.  
He stared back at you, and he gave you a puzzled look, like he was genuinely confused.  
You felt your heart race in your chest from your sudden outburst, but he didn't say anything in response, he just kept staring at you, his face contorted with confusion.  
You felt your eyes fill up with tears again, and you saw him notice you welling up, as his eyes kept scanning your face.  
Suddenly Polly entered back into the room, unaware of what had just happened between the two of you as she started bringing the dinner onto the table.  
You kept your face down and quickly wiped away the tears from your eyes, as Michael carried on glaring at you from across the table.  
Polly then sat down on the chair next to you, and began to pour three glasses of wine.  
" So,...how was work today Michael?" she asked him, as she put down a glass of wine in front of him.  
His eyes were still on you, staring at you intently with a bewildered look on his face.  
You looked back at him, as did Polly, awaiting for him to reply, and both your eyes on him seemed to knock him out of his trance on you as he turned to look at his mom and cleared his throat.  
" Fine,... I did the books this morning,.. they are looking really good,.. up more than last week" he replied, with little interest in his voice as he then turned away from Polly again to look at you, his brows knitting together, still looking confused.  
" And you y/n,...?" Polly asked you, giving you your glass of wine.  
" Just the same old,... just me and Charlie" you smiled.  
" Well I have a great day,..." she began, as she started to talk to you both about something.  
But her words just became noise,... as you could feel the buzzing in your ears from your head spinning around with different thoughts.  
Michael's eyes were still on you, and you were wondering what was going through his head from his puzzled face looking back at you.  
But he definitely looked like he wasn't really listening to Polly either, as his eyes were focused on you.  
" Michael,.." you suddenly heard Polly say, her voice raised at her son, " Are you listening to me?...", she asked him sternly.  
He could not of been listening to her either as her raised voice seem to make him jump as his eyes then darted back to his mom, as he looked from you to her.  
" Sorry,... I didn't catch the end of what you said" he said to Polly, as you realised he couldn't of been listening either.  
" What is a matter with you, Michael? " she asked him,  
" your in a right mood tonight".  
He looked at you, his eyes boring into yours, and he let out a deep breath of frustration.  
" I'm fine,... I'm just tired,...its been just a really long weird day, that's all,.. " he replied to her, as he looked back over at you with a frown.  
" Well, try and make more of an effort with your mother and girlfriend please" she replied, as she started to eat.  
He let out a huff of frustration as he began eating as well, his eyes no longer looking at you.  
You wondered what was going on inside his head after your comment, as you watched him eat.  
You were annoyed at yourself, you had not wanted it to come out like that.  
And you were longing for his explanation.  
Polly kept the conversation going over dinner, but Michael only glanced over at you a handful of times.  
And when he did look at you, it was more of a scowl.  
Your head was racing with your thoughts,... was he angry because he knew that you had found out about his other woman.  
You felt physically sick.  
It was a long night from then on as you had to put on a brave face in front of Polly.  
You then had to have dessert, and then further drinks with Polly for the next few hours.  
All whilst trying to remain in a happy, upbeat mood for Polly's sake, as Michael remained quiet and subdued for the rest of the evening, as he began drinking way too much whiskey as you and Polly chatted among yourselves on the sofa, and Michael seemed to get more drunk as the hours went by, hardly saying a word to you both.  
As Polly then headed off to bed, Michael then just got up from the armchair and followed her without even looking at you, unsteady on his feet from finishing off a whole bottle of whiskey to himself, staggering up the stairs without saying a word to you, leaving you alone downstairs.  
You pondered downstairs for a bit, unsure what to do, but you obviously had to follow him upstairs as there was no way of you getting home at this time of night by yourself.  
You could sleep in the spare bedroom, but Polly might think that unusual if she wakes up before you in the morning.  
So you headed upstairs, and nervously opened his bedroom door.  
He was sitting upright on the edge of the bed, and had removed most of his clothes and was just wearing his boxers.  
He looked at you as you entered, and you got the impression that he had been waiting for you.  
You silently closed the bedroom door behind you, and as you looked back at him, you could tell from his unfocused eyes that he was very drunk.  
You started to make your way around the bed to the other side, as his eyes followed you doing so.  
" Come here,..." he suddenly said to you, his words were slurred.  
" Your drunk Michael,... we will discuss this is the morning when you are sober" you replied, as you sat down on your side of the bed.  
" No,.... no,...." he started, turning towards you, " we are,... are,.. going,... to,... to,...talk about it now" he slurred, from his high intake of alcohol.  
" You have had to much to drink,..." you replied, looking at him angrily.  
" I,...I,..don't know,...I don't know what,..who the hell,....who her is" he slurred, as he grabbed your hands within his.  
You frowned, he was too drunk for you to be able to get any kind of decent or genuine answer from him tonight.  
Just as you let out a deep breath of annoyance, you noticed that he had tears in his eyes,.. he was crying.  
" Please,..." he slurred, his tired drunken eyes not being able to stay open, as they tried to to focus on you.  
" Don't,... please don't,...don't do this,.." he slurred, a tear falling down from his cheek.  
"What,...?" you softly replied, watching as a tear left his other eye.  
" Your going,... your going to finish,... I know... I know that you want to end things,...all day I've known,.. I just can't,.. please,.. please don't" he slurred, as he rested his head against your chest, and wrapped his arms tight around you.  
You looked down at him, as the whole of the weight of him rested on top of you, and you wrapped your one arm around him to steady you both.  
" I don't,.. don't know what,.. what I've done,.." his slurring was getting worse, as if he was too drunk and tired to talk, " but please,...please don't end this,... I,... I,... I love you" he breathed.  
You paused, as he slouched all over you,.. I love you,... he had never said it to you before,... but there it was.  
In his drunken state, he had just said it to you for the first time.  
You didn't know what to think.  
You looked down at him, but before you could reply, you heard him start snoring against your chest.  
He had fallen asleep on top of you.  
You sighed, as you softly ran your fingers through his hair as he slept.  
He continued to snore as his head rested against your chest, he was fast asleep.  
You adjusted yourself beneath him, trying not to wake him as you did so, as he slept on top of you.  
You lie there, feeling him breathe against you in his deep sleep, your mind constantly wandering with thoughts, keeping you awake, as you laid there against him.  



	26. Chapter 26

You woke up before Michael.  
He was still fast asleep lying spread out on top of you.  
The amount of whiskey he had consumed last night had really knocked him out into a deep sleep.  
At least it was Saturday, as you raised yourself slightly, not wanting to wake him up, and saw that it was just gone eight o'clock.  
You sighed heavily, last night had not gone to plan, as the events of it came flooding back into your brain.  
You looked down at him sleeping over you.  
He was snoring loudly, he didn't always snore, only if he had too much to drink and was in a deep sleep.  
Which he certainly was.  
His mouth was slightly open, and he had dribbled a little on your chest.  
But he looked so cute lying upon you, his head resting in between your busom, as you felt each breath that he took against you.  
You softly stroked his forehead with your thumb gently, but he didn't even flinch.  
You made your way off the bed slowly, trying as hard as possible not to wake him.  
Finally, as you managed to get free from his grip, he stirred a little.  
" y/n,.." he mumbled in his sleep, and you looked over at him.  
His eyes were still closed, but his lips were slightly moving but he then just flopped down on the bed, and turned over and carried on sleeping.  
You got up silently, and ran a brush through your dishevelled hair, as you adjusted your dress that you had slept in after he had fallen asleep on top of you last night in his drunken state, as you then headed downstairs, leaving him still fast asleep. 

You made your way down the stairs to see that Polly was already up.  
She was in the kitchen smoking a cigarette and drinking a cup of coffee.  
" Oooh your up,... I'll start making breakfast" she said, as she noticed you come down the stairs.  
You smiled, as you sat down opposite her, your head still lost in last night.  
" Is he in a better mood this morning... ?" she turned and asked you.  
" He's still fast asleep" you replied.  
She shook her head, as she started preparing food, as she then paused and approached you.  
" You and Michael,... you are both ok aren't you?" she asked you, her face looking concerned.  
" Ok, ...?" you replied, confused.  
" I mean, you both haven't fallen out or anything, have you, ... as last night I could tell something wasn't right between the two of you,.....you two both usually glow in each other's presence,....its beautiful to watch,....but last night,... something was different,... you both seemed elsewhere,...Michael was moody and drinking and I could tell that you weren't yourself,.." she asked, looking deeply at you.  
You sighed, as you then felt all of your emotions coming to the surface.  
" Last night,... I had been cold with him all day,.. thats why he was in such a bad mood last night" you replied, as she stared back at you, in confusion.  
You decided to just tell her.  
" I think that he has been cheating on me,... I think he may be seeing someone else" you told her.  
She stared back at you blankly for a moment, her eyes wide, and then, to your horror, she let out a small laugh.  
You stared back at her, completely took back by her response, your mouth open wide at her.  
How could she possibly find that funny.  
" I'm so sorry,.." she finally said, in between laughs, as you noticed that she was trying to stop herself due to the mortified look on your face.  
She then started shaking her head.  
" I'm so sorry sweetheart,... but I know for a fact that there is no way that Michael is seeing someone else" she replied.  
" How,... how can you know that,..?" you asked her.  
" y/n,... Michael is completely in love with you,..I have never seen him like this before with anyone,.. not ever,... you are his whole world,...he worships you" she smiled, " why would you even think that he was cheating on you?" she then asked you.  
" The night before last, I was out with my friend,....we went into this new club for a few drinks and I saw Isaiah in there,... he had his tongue down the throat of some girl I have never seen before,... and then I saw Michael, he was sitting with another girl, just the two of them,.. they looked close, like they knew each other and then I saw him hug her and kiss her on the cheek,... and then I kind of ran out of there after that before they knew that I was even there " you told her.  
She looked back at you, she looked bewildered, like she didn't know how to reply.  
" Have you asked him about it,.. as there must be a reasonable explanation,... because I know how much he loves you" she replied.  
" There hasn't really been a right moment,... I kind of blurted out to him that I saw him with someone,...but he just looked at me all confused and didn't say anything back and then he went quiet for the rest of the night and drunk so much whiskey that he passed out" you reply.  
" I really don't know who she could be,..but I just know that there is no way that my son could be cheating on you,.. he has told me how he feels about you" she replies.  
" He,... he has..?" you answer.  
" He loves you,.. he would never do anything to lose you, your the one y/n,... he has told me so" she replies.  
You couldn't help but smile in response, as you suddenly felt all warm inside.  
He has really told his mother all of this?  
" Just talk to him please,... there must be some kind of reasonable explanation,... I know that if he loses you y/n,.. that it would break his heart" she replied.  
You smiled back at her, so hoping that she was right.

You had just finished eating your breakfast with Polly, when Michael came down the stairs.  
His hair was dishevelled, and his eyes still looked tired, as he looked over at you.  
There was still hidden anger behind his eyes at you, as he then looked away from you and sat down, not saying a word to you.  
" I've kept yours warm,.." Polly said over to him.  
He nodded at her, as he then brought his hands up to his head, and you could tell that he was experiencing a headache that came with a hangover from over drinking the night before.  
She brought his plate over, with a cup of coffee and placed it in front of him.  
She then looked over at you, silently ordering you to talk to him as she then excused herself.  
" I'm going into town with our Ada today, so you two lovebirds have the place all to yourselves" she said, as she picked up her coat and bag, " I'll see you both later" she said, giving you an another intense look before she headed out the door.  
The room went completely silent after she left, until you heard the sound of Michael drinking his coffee.  
You slowly made your way over to sit opposite him, and he glared over at you as you did so.  
" We need to talk,.." you softly spoke first.  
He didn't say anything, as he started eating, refusing to look at you.  
" Michael,... please" you continued.  
" Just get it over with,.." he suddenly replied, a harshness to his tone.  
" What,...?" you replied.  
" You heard what I said,... just get it over with and then leave" he replied, his eyes boring into you.  
" I,.. I have no idea what your talking,.." you replied before he cut you off.  
" I don't know what the hell you were going on about last night,.. that you have seen me with some 'her',... but I've realised that it must be some easy excuse of yours for you to use to finish with me" he started, " so say what you want to say to me and then get out".  
You were completely shocked, he had never looked or spoken to you with such anger before.  
" Finish with you,... you think that I want to finish with you?" you asked him.  
He paused, and you watched his eyes dart across your face suspiciously.  
" Well, that's what your plan is isn't it, that's why you have been so cold and distant towards me,...you obviously want to end things" he replied, a pain to his voice.  
" Oh my god,.. NO,.." you replied, your voice now raised.  
He looked back at you, his eyes widening, and his face began to soften.  
But he didn't reply, he just kept staring at you, like he was shocked.  
" I love you,.. really love you,.. do you understand that?" you said to him.  
His eyes widened more, and you saw a lump slightly appear in his throat.  
But still no words left his mouth.  
" I've been so distant with you because,... because I think that you are seeing someone else" you replied, your voice breaking as you finally say it, and your eyes start to fill up again.  
He glares at you blankly, as his eyebrows then knit together in confusion.  
" You,.. you think I'm what...?" he replies, he looked completely baffled from your statement.  
" The other night,. when I went out with Maggie,.. she took me to this new club,... and I saw Isaiah in there,... I went to say hello to him but he was kissing this woman,... and then I saw you,... you were sitting with this other woman " you started.  
You kept your eyes on his face, and you saw his eyes twitch nervously and his breathing increase.  
" You looked close,.. you got up and hugged her, and then I saw you kiss her on the cheek and,.. and I haven't been able to get it off my mind since" you continued.  
His face looked paler, and he appeared nervous,... and alarmed by your knowledge of this encounter.  
" Well,.... have you been cheating on me?" you asked him, after his lack of reply.  
" Of course not,..." he finally replied, sounding angry that you had even asked him that.  
" Well,...who was she?" you asked him.  
He paused, for quite a while, and you see him fretting, like he didn't know how to answer you.  
What was he hiding?  
" Well,.. if your not going to be honest and tell me,.." you say, as you stand up from your chair.  
" Wait,..." he suddenly replies, " Charlotte,... her name is Charlotte."  
He let's out a deep breath, as you sit back down for him to continue.  
" She's my ex girlfriend" he says with a frown, and then he sighs heavily, like he didn't want to confess that.  
You then both hold eye contact with each other, and from the way he is looking at you, he can tell that you are upset.  
" It was a while back,.. before I met you,.. I met her at Tommy and Grace's wedding,... she was from London,.. some rich girl that had come to Birmingham with a fantasy of getting down and dirty with a real life gangster,... she was engaged to some bloke,.. but she wanted some fun first,... the dirty kind,.. sex, drugs and the dangerous life,... I fucked her the evening of their wedding,.." he started, his eyes looking down every so often.  
You gulped, you knew that he had been with other girls before you, but it wasn't something that you really wanted to know about.  
" We carried on seeing each other after that,...for sex, and she enjoyed the fact that she was having a fling with a bad boy" he scoffed, before taking in a deep breath, " and then,... and then she got pregnant."  
You gasped out loud, louder than you would of liked to of, and his eyes were then frozen onto your face, as if to analyse your reaction intently.  
" You,... you have a child,...? " you started, before he cut you off by shaking his head.  
" She had an abortion,.. we both had plans for the future.. she had a life set up for her and I had one set up for me,...so after that,...we ended it and she went back to London" he replied.  
" Oh right,..." you replied, taking it all in, " So why was she here then,... why were you with her the other night,.. have you started sleeping with her again...?" you then asked.  
His eyes widened, and you saw his jaw clench shut.  
" Fuck you,.. " he replied, and his response took you off guard.  
You stare back at him, your mouth opened wide with shock at the fact that he had just swore at you.  
" Well what do you expect me to think..?" you finally answer back, " What were you doing with her in that club then if it is long over between the two of you?" you continued.  
" I just bumped into her by accident,... I didn't know that she would be there,... she is now engaged and had come down to Birmingham for the weekend with some friends" he replied, his voice raised,  
" Isaiah was drunk and started kissing this fucking girl that turned out to be one of her friends,.. so she came over to say hello to me,.. we talked for like five minutes and then parted ways and that was it".  
You paused, you just didn't know what to think.  
" How can I know that you are telling me the truth?,... how can I know that you are not still seeing her" you reply.  
You see his face change, like he was getting more frustrated and you hear him let out a deep breath of despair.  
" How,... how can you know..?" he replied, he was getting more angry, but there was also a look of desperation in his eyes, " because I fucking love you,.. that's how you can know,.." he blurted out.  
His breathing was now erratic, as his eyes carried on penetrating your face,..and they were twitching nervously,... like he was taken aback by his statement himself,.. like his confession of love had been from an unplanned outburst of emotion.  
But there they were again,.. those words,.. I love you,.. said for the first time last night in a drunken state and again this morning,.. in the middle of an angry exchange of words, with the words 'fucking' in between them.  
But still, they were there.  
You pause, completely lost for words, and his eyes scan your face intently, as if he was trying to read your mind.  
" You,.. you do,..?" you softly reply, your voice quiet and gentle.  
He let's out a deep breath, and his face softens, and you see him swallow a lump in his throat.  
" I love you y/n,... I have for a long time,.. I loved you even before our first date,.. I even told Charlotte how serious I feel about you,... how amazing you are and how happy I am with you,.. " he replied.  
You felt this huge wave of happiness and relief wash over you,...as you felt all warm and tingly inside.  
" Michael,... I love you too,... so much it hurts,.. that is why it has been killing me thinking that you had been seeing someone else" you reply, a smile slowly appearing on your lips.  
His face however is serious, as he walks over to you, his eyes never leaving your face, and when he finally reaches you, he pushes you against the table as he kisses you forcefully, the passion of the kiss overwhelming you.  



	27. Chapter 27

You let yourself fall into the kiss, and instantly let all of your worries from the last two days melt away.  
You get lost within the intense passion of it, god he was kissing you with such force and intensity you struggled to steady yourself.  
You leaned back against the dining table he had you pressed against, and held on to the edge of it with the palm of your hands, gripping it tightly so he didn't knock you off your feet.  
He really was not planning on stopping the kiss to catch his breath or to gain oxygen, as his one hand came up and cupped your face, his mouth refusing to leave your mouth.  
He rubbed himself against you, as you felt your body get increasingly hot with desire for him.  
He then scooped you up, lifting you up to sit on the table, his mouth still never leaving yours as his tongue caressed yours within your mouth, leaving you slightly desperate for breath.  
His hands suddenly wrapped around your waist, as he gripped hold of the fabric of your dress, and pulled it up and over your head with complete ease, tossing it on the floor with no regard.  
His hands instantly grabbed hold of both your breasts through your bra eagerly, as his mouth then started nibbling and sucking the tender skin of your neck, his fingers twiddling with the straps of your bra until it was loose and next to your dress on the floor, his fingers then stimulating your nipples and his mouth soon had one of your breasts within his mouth.  
You let out a heavy breath, and you let your head fall back, as you felt his exploring hands grabbing all different parts of your body desperately.  
He pulled your last remaining part of underwear down your legs, leaving you completely naked as his hand soon found its way between your legs, rubbing your clitoris with his thumb to stimulate your arousal.  
You giggled into his mouth, as you panted against him.  
" Why am I the only one naked...?" you grinned, your eyes gestering to his shirt.  
" Because you should be permanently naked all of the time,...that would certainly make the happiest man in the world if you were" he smiled back, as he started kissing your neck, your breasts and stomach, just every part of you he could find.  
You giggled again as he continued his kisses, and his thumb continued it's soft stimulation on your clitoris.  
You let out a low moan, you were buzzing and you needed more friction.  
" Tell me you love me again" you breathed against his neck.  
A smirk fell on his lips, as he looked back at you, his eyes scanning your face lustfully.  
" I love you,.." he smiled, " I fucking love you,.." he said, kissing your lips, " and by god do I fucking want you around my dick right now" he continued, as he continued his kisses down your neck and back onto your breasts.  
" Michael,.." you smiled with a laugh, his thumb continuing to stroke your wetness, as you bit down on your lip and let out a moan.  
" Take off your clothes,..." you then asked him breathlessly, you were getting too turned on, and couldn't wait much longer.  
He willingly complied, as he unbuttoned his shirt in between kisses, and you helped him release it from over his shoulders, as it dropped to the floor.  
His lower garments soon followed, and his erection was now released from all clothing, standing proud and pointing towards you.  
He then parted your legs open wider, his one hand keeping them open wide, as his other hand went between your opened legs.  
You gasped as you felt one of his fingers enter you, and you let out a whimper when he inserted a second finger, teasing you as he rubbed your clitoris in circles, making you moan aloud as his mouth attacked your neck, your hardened nipples pressed against his chest,..the stimulation from it all making your need for release even greater.  
Your hand found its way to his erection, as a signal to speed things up, as you wrapped your hand around his throbing cock and began working his shaft in a up and down motion.  
It seemed to do the trick, as you felt his breathing get more unsteady and he quickened the tempo of his fingers inside of you.  
You moaned against them, feeling an orgasm approaching rapidly.  
" I'm going to come,.." you panted into his ear, which made him pause his fingers inside of you, gently removing them, not wanting you to finish just yet.  
His hot hands now resting on your skin, he looked down and watched as you continued stroking up and down around his hard erection.  
You increased the speed around it and smiled as you saw him rock his head back and close his eyes as he started to release low groans from his mouth.  
He suddenly buckled against your grip, and he then put his hand on top of yours, a silent way of telling you to stop before he releases himself.  
He then cupped your face again with his hand and kissed you passionately, his other hand roaming around your waist to pull you either further to him.  
" I love you,.." you breathed against his lips, as he continued to kiss down your jaw line, and then down your neck as his hands grabbed hold of your breasts again, his fingers playing with your erected nipples.  
" I'll never get tired of hearing you say that,... " he smiled at you, returning his mouth to your neck.  
" I'll never get tired of you,...." you moaned back, and you felt him smile against your skin.  
He then took his erection in his hand, rubbing the tip of it against your opening, spreading your wetness out along the entrance of your vagina, to ease his entrance inside of you.  
And then in one steady movement, he was situated inside of you, penetrating slowly in and out of you for you to accommodate to his size.  
" Fuck,.. you feel so good" you heard him moan, as he then turned you on your side, and lifted your leg up high, resting his hand on it to steady you, exposing your naked vagina at a whole new angle.  
You felt him then thrust himself inside of you again, and he started penetrating his erection into you at a new angle to allow maximum deep penetration, hitting your special spot with each deep thrust.  
" Oh my god,.." you whimper, feeling his erection so much deeper inside of you from this angle, as he started pounding into you with it forcefully.  
Other than your heavy pants and high squeals of pleasure, the only other noise in the room was the rhymthic noise of his balls hitting your skin from behind with his rapid thrusts, and the squelching wet noise of your vagina from each thrust he pounded into you with.  
" Don't stop,... please don't stop" you cried out.  
You were loving it,... you had never felt such deep penetration before, it felt so raw, and it was enough to bring tears to your eyes.  
He increases his thrusts even faster,... and you suddenly can't bear it much longer, as you felt his hand make its way to grab hold of your breast, his fingers tugging at your nipple playfully.  
" Please,... please don't stop baby,... it feels so good" you moan, as you felt him pant and groan from the side of you.  
" Your so beautiful,.... you look so fucking beautiful when your being fucked,.." Michael groaned, his breathing unsteady as he kept thrusting inside of you fast and hard.  
" Ahhh,... I'm going to come,...please keep going" you cry, biting down on your lip as you let out high whimpers.  
You felt the warmth increase inside of your throbbing vagina that he was pounding into, as the walls of your vagina began to pulsate, sending orgasmic shockwaves throughout the whole of your body, so intense that you came with animalistic cries.  
You lie there panting, as you then feel him release himself, as he came moaning your name out loud.  
You both stalled for a moment, recovering from the intensity of it all.  
However much you loved him, if that was the kind of sex you both would have when the two of you make up after an argument, you would fall out with him everday just to be fucked like that again when you both made up.  
" Michael,... that was amazing" you smiled breathlessly.  
" That was the first time that we have ever fucked in the morning,... we are obviously morning people" he laughed, as he pulled you up towards him, his arms now wrapped around you, as he kissed the side of your head.  
You didn't know if it was due to just having had such fantastic sex and being still in your post orgasmic state,... . but you felt yourself suddenly overcome with emotion.  
" I love you so much,.." you said to him, kissing him tenderly.  
He smiled, cupping your face with his hands, as he then looked seriously into your eyes.  
" Look,... y/n,... you do trust me don't you,... because if we don't have trust between us,.. then we don't really have anything" he replied.  
You stared back at him blankly, your eyes wide, as you sat up straight on the table,.. you felt hurt from his statement.  
How could you both just admit that you loved each other, and then have such amazing sex here on the dining table and then he goes and says something like that.  
" We don't really have anything...?" you frowned,... and you see him notice the hurt on your face.  
" I love you,...more than you could know,...and you love me too, .... right" he smiles, as you nod your head in reply, " but if you don't trust me,...don't trust that I love you enough to never betray you,..." he says, before you cut him off.  
" I do,... I do,... I just didn't know what to think,... I was just so frightened of losing you,.. I love you, don't I..?" you reply, and he smiles softly at you.  
" And I don't want anybody else but you,... and I need you to know that,... or else it just won't work" he replies.  
" It will work,... we will work because we love each other,.. why,... do you think that we might not work?" you reply, a anger to your voice.  
" We have to,.. because I can never live without you,...I love you way too much,.. but I just need you to trust me from now on... ok beautiful,.. ? " Michael asked you, stroking your cheek with his thumb.  
You let out a deep breath of relief, as you smile back up at him and nodded.  
A grin then fell upon his lips, as his hands started roaming admirably over your naked body.  
" Now,...if my mom is out shopping and having lunch with Ada all day, ... she will be gone for hours,..." he smirked playfully, as his hands then grabbed a handful of your ass, " So I think you should stay exactly how you are, ... and make me another breakfast,.. seeing that my first one has now gone cold" he grinned, as he bit down on his lip.  
You giggled, as you complied to his wish, as you walked over to the kitchen, and he smacked you playfully on your ass with a laugh on your way out.  
You then cooked him up another breakfast wearing no clothes whatsoever, him grinning so very satisfied with himself as you then serve him his breakfast completely naked, as he pulled you up to sit on his lap whilst he ate it,.. kissing you every so often in between mouthfuls.  
He insisted that you then spend the rest of the day naked with him, saying how much it turned him on watching your breasts jiggle and bounce about in front of him as you made your way around the house completely naked.  
You then made lunch for you both, before washing up and then enjoying a heavy make out session on the sofa, your naked bodies entwined with each other as you kiss each other passionately, which eventually leads to him giving you oral sex, eating you out as you laid back on the sofa for almost an hour before he finally let you come hard on his tongue.  
" Everyday should be like this,.. " you gasp, basking in your post orgasmic bliss, as he then lights up a cigarette and sits down next to you after he had just spent the last hour knealt down on the floor in front of the sofa with his mouth eating you out.  
" I do love the sound of hearing you come,..." he smirked, as you playfully slapped him for his mocking.  
" Your mom will be back soon,... we better put our clothes back on before she walks back through that door" you smile back.  
" I'm sure that she is well aware that we fuck when we have the place all to ourselves,.." he replies, exhaling the smoke through his nose.  
" There's one thing knowing,...its another thing actually seeing" you replied unamused, as your floppy legs that had just spent the last hour in the air, manage to walk just far enough to put your dress and underwear back on.  
" I miss the sight of your tits bouncing around in front of me already,.." he smirked.  
" You have had more than your fill of them for one day" you smirked back, as you chucked him over his clothes.  
He laughs back at you, and he lies there with you for a while, you both just resting against each other, your head resting on his shoulder as you softly stroked circular motions on his naked stomach as he smoked his cigarette.  
He finally gets dressed, and its not long after that Polly returns home.  
" Hello,.." Polly calls out to you both, as she comes through the door with bags of shopping.  
" Hi,..." you smile at her, " did you have a nice time..?" you ask her.  
" Great,.. although we both had a bit too much to drink at lunch" she smiles, as she puts all of her bags down on the dining table, and you can't help but smile to yourself about what had took place on that table just a few hours before.  
Michael who is sat on the sofa then looks over from the book he is now reading, and gives his a mom a small smile as he then looks back down at his book and continues reading.  
" Everything ok,...?" Polly asks you, as she raises her eyebrows questionably and gestures her eyes towards Michael, silently asking you if you both have now sorted things out,... without Michael knowing what she is really on about.  
" Yes,...everythings fine" you reply with a nod and a secret smile,... letting her know that you both had now made up with each other.  
She then gives you a satisfied smile, as she then picks her bags back up.  
"Good,.. I'm glad,... now y/n,... you couldn't be a love and help me unpack these bags,..will you" Polly then says, before she then turns to you, " Oh and,.. I think your hair needs a slight brush through it love,..." she whispers at you, followed by a secret wink,.. making your cheeks turn bright red, as she laughs to herself as she makes her way into the other room with her bags of shopping.


	28. Chapter 28

You lie there in bed, your naked body underneath the covers, staring up at the ceiling.  
Michael was fast asleep beside you, however you were still wide awake and unable to sleep.  
You had stopped over again tonight, having dinner with Polly and Michael again this evening, this one a lot more comfortable and enjoyable than the one the previous night now that you and Michael had made up, as the three of you then had drinks afterwards and mainly listened to Polly going on about all of the gossip she had talked about from her day out with Ada.  
Apparently Linda had caused a bit of a riot at the Shelby bookies, and all of the girls including Esme and Lizzie had gone out on strike for the day.  
And then there was something about Tommy and Lizzie then having an huge argument as she had found out that Tommy had got back in touch with his ex lover May Carleton to train his new race horse, and with Lizzie being pregnant with his child and having now just moved in to his house wanted Tommy's full commitment to her and wasn't happy that May was back in his life, even if it was just to train the new race horse.  
You smiled when you looked over and noticed that Michael looked completely bored from listening to it all, as he sat on his armchair smoking a cigar and drinking through his bottle of whiskey, as you chatted away to Polly.  
After a few more drinks, you all called it a night, as you headed up to bed with Michael.  
You two then snuggled up to each other in bed and had sex yet again, this time in just the more loving and intimate missionary poistion, as he then kisses you goodnight after he releases himself inside of you, and then rolls off from on top of you and was soon fast asleep beside you.  
You, unable to sleep, lie there feeling so very sore in between your legs, the constant fucking throughout the day had left your vagina feeling ever so tender.  
He may have to lay off you tomorrow,..sunday is a day of rest after all.  
You continue to lie there wide awake as you hear his rhythmic breathing beside you, as your mind continues to wander.  
Suddenly he rolls over on the bed, and let's out a low groan.  
" Michael,..." you whisper, still unable to sleep.  
You hear him let out another groan.  
" Michael,.. are you awake?" you then ask him.  
"Mmmm,.." was all he replied, and you then let out a deep sigh.  
" What is it y/n,....?" he mumbles, his voice heavy with sleep.  
" I can't sleep,..." you reply.  
" Come here,..." he replies, his eyes still closed as he reaches out and pulls you closer towards him, wrapping his arms around you.  
You do feel so much warmer in his embrace, as he spoons himself around you, but still, you are wide awake with just your thoughts.  
" Michael,..." you say again.  
" Mmmm,.. " he slurs back to you.  
" I really enjoyed today,.." you whisper to him.  
" Mmmm,.." he repeats again, his eyes still closed.  
" And I forgot to ask you,... Maggie wants us to go round for dinner one night so her and Peter can get to know you, .. as they know how serious we have become" you ask him.  
" Yeah sure,.." he groans back with a yawn, still not opening his eyes.  
" She means a lot to me,..it will be such a big thing for me for you to finally meet them" you reply.  
" Mmmm,.. " he slurs again.  
" And I really am so sorry about the other day,.. I will always be more upfront with you in future,.." you whisper.  
" Mmmm,.. good,...." he groans.  
" I love you gorgeous,.." you then whisper with a smile.  
" Mmmm,.... love you too " he groans again, as he rests himself against you.  
You then hear him snore, as you close your eyes and rest your head on his chest, trying hard to fall asleep as well. 

You slowly open your eyes, as the sun hits you through the bedroom window.  
You groan slightly, your eyes still half shut and the bright gleaming sun painful against your sleepy face.  
You roll over, and spread your arms out, the empty space next to you waking you up a bit more.  
" Michael,..." you say, your eyes opening a little wider, as you realised he is not in bed beside you.  
You look up through your dishevelled hair, and see that the clock on his bedside cabinet says it has just gone 11 o'clock.  
Shit,...you think, as you quickly jump up out of the bed.

You make your way down the stairs, to see Polly sitting on the sofa reading a book with a cup of tea in her hand, and Michael also sat down opposite her in the armchair, his head in the newspaper.  
" Morning sleepy head,.." Michael laughs, as he looks up and kisses you on the cheek as you approach him.  
" Why didn't you wake me up,..?" you ask him.  
" You were out for the count, sweetheart,.. thought it was best to just let you be" he smiles.  
" Yeah,... I don't think I got off to sleep until gone four in the morning" you reply with a yawn.  
" I'd make you some breakfast but we will be having lunch very soon" Polly said over to you.  
"I'm fine,..." you smiled, wrapping your arms around Michael.  
He smiled up at you, as he then continued to read the newspaper.  
" Actually, I'll start preparing lunch now that you are up" Polly replies, as she places a bookmark in her book and then gets up and leaves the room.  
Your arms still wrapped around Michael, you start kissing the side of his face, and then all the way down his neck now that the two of you are both alone.  
" y/n,... that tickles,..." he softly chuckles, as you then continue, " and is so very distracting,..." he then says, as he finally puts down the newspaper that he was reading as you sit down on his lap.  
" Do you remember what I asked you last night,..?" you look up at him.  
He looked back at you, slightly puzzled.  
" About my friend Maggie,..? " you continue.  
" Oh,.. about going round to hers for dinner,..?" he replies.  
" Her and Peter want to meet you,.." you smile at him.  
" Thats fine,.. " he laughed, before continuing, " Am I about to get inspected,...? " he smirked.  
" Well,... I already know every part of you already Mr Gray,...so there is nothing really left to inspect" you reply with a playful grin.  
He shakes his head at you with a smirk.  
" Well,.. I still better be on my best behaviour,.." he smiles.  
" You will be no fun then though,.." you smirk.  
" Oh,..well,... I'll just have to save it all up for afterwards then,...won't I,... after my inspection? " he grins and laughs, as he kisses you on the lips.  
You laugh and kiss him back, and then smile at him.  
" So can I arrange a night with her then? " you ask.  
He nods in response, as he kisses you again, this time with even more passion, as you then rest yourself on his lap, and he continues to read the newspaper.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

One Week Later

You made your way up the steps to Maggie and Peter's house with Michael.  
You were so nervous about this evening, you didn't know why,... you were only having dinner with the girl who had been your best friend since your first day of school and her fiancee who had always been like the big brother you never had.  
But it was more than that,.. you loved Michael more than anything,.... so tonight was so important that they like and approve of him,.. especially after Maggie's initial doubts and reservations about him, with him being a peaky blinder and a member of a dangerous gangster family.  
Michael didn't seem nervous at all, but he never did, always carrying himself with such confidence with his 'bad boy' demeanor,...the complete opposite to you.  
You knocked the door, and then started to see the silhouette of Maggie approaching from behind it.  
She opened the door and greeted you both with a smile.  
" Hello,..." she spoke, as she opened the door for you both to enter.  
Once in her hallway, you notice her eyes scanning Michael intently.  
She had seen him once before,.. that night in the Garrison when he came in with his cousins and he had kissed you for the very first time outside,... but him and Maggie had never spoke,... but here he now was,... a real life peaky blinder, the son of the infamous Polly Shelby and gangster cousin of the renowned Shelby brothers,.. standing next to her best friend in the home that she shared with her fiancee.  
She looked hesistant at him,... she was actually looking at him like she thought that he could pull a gun out at her at any moment.  
You gulped slightly at her obvious reluctance towards him,... you could always read her so well, and how his presence here was obviously making her feel slightly uncomfortable,.. and that upset you greatly.  
Did she really think that you had just brought a monster into her home.  
You quickly broke the ice,.. before it could turn awkward.  
" Michael,.. this is Maggie," you smiled,... " and Maggie,... this is Michael" gesturing between the two of them.  
" Hello,.." Michael spoke first, as he put his hand out to shake hers, " It's nice to finally meet you,.. y/n talks about you all of the time " he smiles warmly at her.  
You stare over at her, and you notice her hover for a second, before giving him a small smile and finally shaking his hand.  
But you notice she does so very quickly, as if she didn't want his hand to be touching hers for too long.  
Were you just being over paranoid,... or was it that the man who you loved and you had let spend last night inside of you,.. your best friend couldn't bear to even touch.  
You let out a deep breath, just as Maggie finally replied to him.  
" Yes,...its nice to finally meet you too,...I've heard so much about you from y/n,.. " Maggie finally replies.  
" All good I hope,.." he laughs, as he looks between the two of you.  
" Of course,..." you smile at him, replying before Maggie did with a laugh.  
He then extends his arm out again and gives her the bottle of champagne that he had been holding.  
" Oooh,.. thank you" she replies as she takes it in her hand and stares at it, " gosh,...this is really expensive stuff" she replies,.. raising her eyebrow at him.  
" It's nothing,..." he replies, shaking his head.  
She just looks back at him blankly, and then over at you questionably, before looking back over at Michael.  
" Well,..." she pauses, looking back at the bottle of champagne that would cost a whole months rent...  
" Thank you,..." she then says, giving him a faint smile.  
" Your welcome" he replies, as he smiles back at her,.. and you take in another deep breath from the awkwardness.  
" Well,.. um,... come in,... Peter's just in there setting up for dinner,...come right through" she says to you both, as you follow her into their dining area.  
Peter looks up and smiles when he sees you enter.  
" Hey,.." he smiles, as he walks over to you.  
" Hi,..." you smile in return, as you go to introduce him to Michael.  
" Pete,...this is Michael,..." you say to him before turning to Michael,.. " Mike,... this is Peter,.. Maggie's fiancée" you smile.  
Luckily Peter holds his hand out first to Michael.  
" Alright mate,.." Peter says to him, a lot more warmer than Maggie had been.  
" Alright,.." Michael replies, returning his handshake.  
" So you are the reason that we have been seeing less and less of her then" Peter says to Michael, with a smile.  
" Guilty,..." Michael smiles back, and you let out a little laugh beside him.  
" Well,.. its great to finally meet you,...y/n talks about you a lot " Peter smiles.  
" Yes,...I've heard,..." Michael replies, as he gives you a small smile.  
You then hear the sound of Maggie opening the bottle of champagne, as she tells everyone to sit down as she starts pouring you all drinks.  
You see Peter giving the bottle of champagne in his fiancée's hand a rather baffled look, but luckily he doesn't comment on why we are all drinking very expensive champagne instead of just normal beer or wine and seems to just go along with it.  
" Right,... I'll get the starters out,.." Maggie says, as she places the bottle in the middle of the table, and then heads into the kitchen.  
Coversation manages to go smoothly over dinner, with much laughter and Michael and Peter in particular seem to get along really well, until Maggie started being the over protective best friend and started asking questions.  
" So Accountancy,... me and y/n were never any good at maths at school,... we were always too busy giggling at the back of the class over boys" Maggie said over to Michael.  
" Oh yeah,.." Michael replied, laughing with a raised eyebrow as he looked over at you with a smile.  
" You must of been great though,... to become the head accountant at your cousin's firm? " Maggie then asked.  
" Yes,.." Michael replied with a nod.  
" Thomas Shelby's,..?" Maggie said out loud, and the room went so quiet that you could of heard a pin drop next door.  
Michael just stared back at her for a few seconds, before finally nodding in response with another "Yes,.. "  
" What other business does he make you do,..?" Maggie then asked him, her eyes were penetrating him intently.  
The whole room went beyond uncomfortable as that awkward silence returned for what seemed like ages, before you heard the sound of Michael clearing his throat.  
" Usually just accountancy,.." he replied, his face cold and expressionless.  
" Usually,...?" she replied, raising her eyebrow, "because everyone knows what other business the Shelby's get up too" she continues, her eyes staring at him intently, refusing to leave his face.  
However Michael held out her glare, as you heard him let out a heavy sigh beside you.  
" It's just that she is my best friend,...and we just need to know that she is safe from any kind of danger,... as everyone knows about what happened to Grace Shelby,.. " Maggie started, before Peter cut her off to avoid any more further awkwardness.  
" Right,.. I don't know about everyone else but I'm still hungry,.. Mags, why don't you bring in that dessert,.. that you have spent all day making, shame to waste it, sweetheart" Peter said to her, rubbing her gently on her back.  
However her and Michael continue to hold each others glare, the tension in the room so unbelievably awkward before Maggie finally gets up and heads into the kitchen.  
" She just worries about you,..that's all " Peter smiles over at you reassuringly, once Maggie has left the room.  
You just nod and smile back, trying not to address what had just happened, but you could feel Michael's eyes burning into the side of you.  
When she enters back into the room, Peter tries to change the coversation entirely while everyone ate their dessert, but it soon became very heated again.  
" I don't understand,.. if you dislike Tommy and what he does so much,.. why do you let your best friend work for him as a nanny,. ..?" Michael suddenly asks Maggie.  
" I didn't know, ... she never told us that it was for Thomas Shelby until months after she got the job... and when I eventually found out, I begged her to leave,.. for her own safety,.. we even found her another job" Maggie replied.  
" Oh, so that was you,.. when she gave her notice in to Tommy that one time" Michael replied.  
" We were just trying to protect her,... people end up getting hurt or worse, killed in your world,.. and she is our best friend,...we just want her to be safe,...but she just wouldn't leave,.." Maggie replied.  
" Mags,...please" you pleaded, shaking your head.  
" She wouldn't leave because of you,...because of her love for you,... and now here we all are,... sat around this table like two happy couples,... pretending its all ok that y/n is with a gangster" Maggie continued.  
" Mags,... just leave it, please" Peter then whispered to her.  
" Having to now wait around for the day that we will receive that dreaded phone call that something bad has happened to her,...because of her involvement with you and your family" Maggie said, her eyes getting tear filled.  
" I would never let anything bad happen to her,.. never,... I love y/n,... I would never let anyone harm a single hair on her head,.. I would kill them if they even tried to,..." Michael sternly replies.  
" See,...kill,....kill,....thats what you shelby's do,... you kill people,...you think I want my best friend around any of this " Maggie said in despair.  
" Look I understand your concerns completely,... and if I was you, I would feel exactly the same,...but I do love y/n,... just as much as you do" Michael said to her, " and I would never put y/n in any kind of danger,.. she is my whole world now".  
" I bet that is what Thomas Shelby said about his wife,..and look what happened to her,... shot dead because of the things you people do and get involved in" Maggie replied.  
" I would never let what happened to Grace ever happen to y/n,.. not ever" Michael raged.  
" You can't be sure of that,..." Maggie replies.  
" I'll never let anyone harm y/n,....not ever" Michael replies back.  
" Because if anything does happen to her,...anything,.. I will find you,... I'll hunt you down until I find you,...and when I do find you,.. which I promise you I will,.. you will pray for death" Maggie replies, her eyes sharp and her face rather terrifying.  
You had seen Michael around frightening and dangerous people before, and he never once even flinched or look remotely bothered around them,.. but for the first time,.. in front of an emotional Maggie,.. you could swear that he actually looked terrified by her.  
Peter's face was wide eyed, open mouthed and just mortified at the scene in front of him,.. as if he couldn't believe his fiancée had actually just threatened a peaky blinder and a Shelby,... and you were just as horrified that the two people who you loved the most,.. your boyfriend and your best friend,.. we're arguing like this.  
" You wouldn't have to,... because if anything did ever happen to y/n,...like it did to Grace,.. I'd pray for death myself" he finally replied, glaring back at her.  
The room fell silent again, and you couldn't help but feel touched by both of their declarations of love for you.  
But you didn't want them both to argue with each other over it in the process.  
They were both meant to get along with each other for your sake.  
" Please,... both of you,... just stop it,. please,.. I think everyone has now made their feelings perfectly clear" you say, looking between the two of them.  
" Your best friend just threatened to kill me" Michael replied, still seeming pretty shocked from it.  
" And because she is my best friend,.. you will just move on and forget about it" you replied, staring at Michael intently.  
The whole room went awkwardly silent again.  
" Please,... both of you,... I just want you both to get along,.. for my sake,.. it would mean the world to mean if you both could just put this both aside.... and maybe try and become friends with each other,... for me" you say, looking between them both.  
They both remain silent, and just stare between each other and you.  
" I just want you to be happy,...but safe as well" Maggie speaks first.  
" Mags,... I am happy" you smile at her,. " I love him,..." you then say to her, in a more gentle tone,.." and I know that you are scared for me but I promise that I will keep myself safe as well,....I promise you" you smile reassuringly at her.  
She sighs, and gives you a small smile back.  
" As long as your happy...." she replies, before then turning to Michael, " but if anything does happen to her,... anything... I'm still fucking come for you" she says, pointing her finger at him.  
" God,.. your terrifying,..your more fucking terrifying than my cousin Arthur,.. and he is fucking mad" Michael replied, shaking his head in amazement.  
" Please,..." you plead again.  
" ok,... ok,..." Maggie replies, raising her hands,.." I'll call a truce,... along as my best friend is safe and happy" she continues.  
" and I promise that I will always make sure that she is happy,... and to always keep her safe,...her safety and happiness is my number one priority" Michael replies, looking from Maggie then to you, " so truce..."  
" Yeah,.. truce,.." Maggie smiles at him.  
" Thank god for that,... and by god do I need a stronger drink after all that,.. I really thought someone was going to draw blood for a minute,.. " Peter gasped, as he got up and got some beers.  
You let out a sigh of relief,.. as you smiled over at Maggie as a thank you,.. and you then turned to look at Michael, whose jaw was still clenched and you began to softly stroke his upper thigh underneath the table.  
He looked at you, and just gave you a half smile, as he then opened his beer and took a huge swig of it.  
Not the best start,..and you could only assume that he would be having words with you later about this,...but at least it was peace for now.  



	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,  
> I just want to apologise for the delay with this chapter,.. but I do hope its worth it!!! 😉 xx

" I found you,.... I found you" you heard the innocent childish laughter and excited squeals come from behind you, as you felt Charlie's toddler hands constantly pat you all over your head, arms and legs in a playful way from your hiding place underneath a table, to tell you that he had caught you and had won again.  
" Oh no,.... you found me " you giggled, as the toddler wrapped himself around you in laughter,...excited that he had won the game of hide of seek for the fifth time in a row.  
You always let him find you,... and you always pretended that you didn't know where he was hiding when it was your time to find his hiding place,..much to the little lad's delight.  
You both then heard voices coming from the hallway and Charlie quickly ran along to have a look at who it could be.  
He then let out a squeal of excitement as he then looked back at you and started pointing at what he had just spotted, to get your attention to look at what he was looking at, as his little legs danced away on the spot where he was standing excitedly as he started clapping his hands.  
You crawled over on the floor and saw the reason for his excitement.  
He had noticed that the men had just arrived at the house, his Uncles Arthur, John and Finn were with some of the other Peaky men, like Uncle Charlie, Curly, Johnny doggs and Isaiah,.. and Michael was also with them all as well.  
" Let's go,..." the toddler gasped at you, willing to join his family members.  
You paused as you then gave the child a small smile,... going over there right now was not something that you really wanted to do.  
For the past couple of weeks your relationship with Michael has been somewhat cold and distant.  
Or Michael in particular had been somewhat cold and distant with you.  
Ever since that night you had dinner at Maggie and Peter's house.  
Even though you thought that it had now been all resolved as everyone had ended that evening on pretty good terms.  
Maggie had eventually apologised for the way that she had initially been with him at the start of the evening,... explaining that she was just scared for her friend getting involved with the peaky blinders.  
And Michael had been more than willing in accepting her apology, telling her that he understood her concerns and fears completely due to who his family was, promising that he would never let any harm ever come to you.  
He had confessed his love for you that evening,.... he even said that he would want to die himself if anything happened to you in the same way in had to Grace,..whose child you were now holding in your arms.  
It had brought tears to your eyes at how much he really did love you.  
He really did love you just as much as you love him.  
And you were so madly in love with him,.. he was the only thing you thought about when you were not with him.  
And when you were together it was like the rest of the world would just float away,.. .and you couldn't care less,.. as long as there was just you and him.  
So all should of been well, after that.  
However, it just hasn't been.  
You even apologised for Maggie's behaviour towards him yourself as soon as you both left their house, even though they had made up by the end of the night, constantly saying 'how sorry you were' and if 'he was alright' all the way on the drive home.  
However he was so cold and blunt with you, saying he understood her reasons for being concerned and to just forget about it.  
So you eventually just shut up, asking him one more final time if everything was ok between the two of you, but he was getting snappy,.. insisting that you just leave it and that you both were fine.  
So you did,... however ever since that night he has been acting so differently with you,...it was hard not to notice that he has just become so 'offish' with you.  
Whenever he came round to Tommy's when you were there at work, he wouldn't even bother to come up and see you for a cheeky kiss and cuddle like he had always done,...and if you accidentally crossed paths with him whilst you both were there he would just give you the shortest of smiles as a kind acknowledgement to your presence if he was with his cousins, but he would hardly speak to you.  
You only really saw him because you always had dinner at his and Polly's house three times a week, so life just carried on the same with you doing so as normal.  
He would pick you up from work as usual, and the whole journey would be you talking about stuff just to try and keep a conversation going, but he would barely reply to anything you would say,.. just a few 'yeahs' and 'oh right' every now and again.  
It was getting beyond exhausting as well as frustrating.  
Over dinner he would only speak to Polly and barely say a word over to you,.. and everytime you went to touch him in public he would flinch away.  
It was breaking your heart,... but the weirdest part of it all, was that he was still having sex with you.  
There was no acknowledgement of each other in public, no touching or kissing, hardly any conversation in your relationship at all anymore, but at the end of the three nights that you would stop over,... you would both get into his bed without saying a word to each other, ... you had given up on trying to make a conversation by that point,... and he would roll on top of you without saying a word and make love to you.  
The whole thing would be in total silence, apart from the sound of heavy breathing and a few soft moans of pleasure here and there, and then after he was done and had released himself inside of you, he would just roll back over without saying a single word to you and fall to sleep.  
There was no ' I love you', not even a single 'goodnight.'  
And then in the morning, he would drive you to Tommy's house for work,... again in total silence,....and drop you off outside and drive away without a single 'goodbye.'  
You would have to hold back the tears before you went into Tommy's so no one would see that something was wrong.  
And it had been going on like this for several weeks now.  
The sound of Charlie giggling and stamping his feet in excitement knocked you out of your thoughts, as the toddler began to run over to where all the guys were standing.  
" Me,... me,..." he shouted over at them,... trying to get their attention, as you ran after him.  
He finally approached them all, and as he reached them, he started pulling at the bottom of Michael's trousers for his attention.  
" Hello,..." the boy yelled up at him with a cheeky smile, as Michael looked away from the conversation he was having with Isaiah, and looked down at the toddler pulling him by his trousers.  
Michael was always attentive when it came to children,.. you always found it so attractive,... how he would always adknowledge them and even play with them,..like he did with Ada's son Karl.  
And Charlie knew that he could get the attention of Michael,...as Michael was always a familiar face in his nursery,... until just a few weeks ago when he no longer even bothers to come up and say hello to you anymore.  
You saw Michael look down and say hello to him,.. ruffling up the little boy's hair as he did so,... making Charlie jump up and down and giggle some more in excitement,... as he then started running in between all of the men's legs as if it was some kind of game.  
Michael then looked up and over towards you as he notices you approach, as if he knew that you must of been nearby if Charlie was here.  
You give him a smile, but he just ingored you and went back to his conversation with Isaiah.  
" Hi,.." you said to Michael, giving him another wide smile as you approached him,... you would make him talk to you,... you were his girlfriend after all.  
" Alright,..." he scoffed back, barely looking at you, as you had just interrupted his conversation with Isaiah.  
" Alright y/n,.." Isaiah smiled at you,.. his friend was completely fine with you.  
" Yes,.....are you?" you asked him.  
" I'm alright,... there's just more of this shit going on,..." Isaiah began,... before you noticed he then looked over at Michael,..and then obviously decided not to continue with what he was about to say.  
" Arthur's birthday party is tomorrow at the Garrison,.. should be a wild one" Isaiah then laughed, it was obvious he was changing the subject.  
" Arthur's party,...?" you replied, questionably.  
" Yeah,.. we are going to the Garrison tomorrow night for Arthur's birthday,...we have got to be there for six" Isaiah said back to you.  
" I,... I had no idea,..." you replied to Isaiah,.. as you then looked over at Michael.  
" I thought my mom would of mentioned it to you" Michael shrugged at you.  
" Oh right,... no she didn't" you reply.  
" Well,... you know now" Michael shrugged again at you.  
You were sick of his attitude, but you tried to pretend like it didn't bother you in front of everyone else.  
" Yeah,.. of course" you just sweetly smiled at him, "I'll see you there then,.." you then smiled at Isaiah.  
Isaiah nodded at you with a grin as you then went over to get Charlie who had found enjoyment playing with Curly.  
" I'll see you later,.." you turned and said to Michael, planting a soft kiss on his cheek as you then walked away,... refusing to show that he was getting to you,.. even though he was.  


Your home time arrived and you waited outside of Tommy's for Michael to pick you up as usual.  
You said hello to him as you got into the car,... but as usual he didn't say anything in return.  
You decided that you were not going to exhaust yourself any longer with trying to make conversation on the journey back to his and Polly's for dinner.  
You just did exactly the same as what he had been doing, you just sat there throughout the whole journey in complete silence.  
You were just so confused deep down though,.. he had told you and your friends as well as his mother that he loved you,.. so why was he being like this.  
You both got out of the car and into Polly's house where you had dinner.  
You would softly rub his arm once or twice throughout the dinner, but he hardly responded.  
You even leaned in and kissed his neck when Polly left the room for a few minutes, but he just grunted back at you.  
When it was finally time to go to bed, you went into his bedroom and took off all of your clothes and got into his bed without saying a word to each other as usual.  
As soon as your naked body got underneath the sheets, you felt the familiar feel of his arm wrapping itself around you, pushing you closer to him, and his breath heavy on your neck, before he would shift his weight on top of you and press his lips against yours.  
The thought crossed your mind if to suddenly blurt out ' not tonight' and see if he liked a taste of his own medicine which you have to constantly recieve throughout the day.  
However, his lack of affection towards you throughout each day made you crave and long for his touch in these late hours.  
So much so, that you allowed him to enter inside of you, savouring the feel of his skin on yours as he thrusts in and out of you, nuzzling his face in your neck as he does so, as you stare at the white ceiling above you,... lost in thought as you feel each of his thrusts penetrate you.  
You suddenly felt his thrusts gain speed but lose force, as he buckled slightly above you, as you heard him release himself with a chorus of heavy groans into the crease of your neck.  
Obviously now done, he rolled himself off from on top of you, his breathing slightly heavy as he then rolled over and turned his back to you without saying anything.  
You slightly turned and kissed his back, hoping for any kind of response, but there was nothing.  
So you let out a heavy sigh, as you rolled over and decide to just go to sleep.  
However just as you close your eyes, you feel him roll back over, so he is now facing your back, as you feel his arms then wrap themselves around you, and pull you closer towards him.  


You got yourself ready for Arthur's party at the Garrison.  
You curled your hair, leaving it loose and down around your shoulders as you applied your make up and put on one of your best dresses.  
You felt so nervous about tonight,...especially with the situation with Michael being like it was.  
Michael picked you up from your house, and drove you both to the Garrison.  
You both had gone for almost half of the car journey in complete silence, with him driving and you fidgeting around with your purse on your lap.  
" You look beautiful,..." he suddenly says from the silence.  
You look over at him,... shocked from the fact that had just said something to you, without you having to start the conversation first.  
He doesn't look over at you again, he just keeps his eyes on the road.  
" Thanks,.." you mutter back.  
It goes back to dead silence and you wonder if this is a good time to bring up how distant he has been lately.  
" You haven't said anything nice to me like that for quite a while now,.." you say, looking over at him for a response.  
You saw his jaw clench as he drives, his eyes remaining on the road.  
He doesn't reply to you at all.  
You let out a heavy sigh, and go back to fidgeting with your purse.  
" I have just been so worried about what is wrong with us lately" you reply.  
" Nothing is wrong with us,... we're fine" he then snaps back at you.  
You pause for a second or two, sensing that he seems highly tense.  
" I just feel that you have been so distant with me lately,... like offish" you say, looking over at him driving,... trying to catch his facial expressions.  
He pauses for a few seconds, like he was pondering.  
" I'm just worried that I have done something,... you say its not about the other week at Maggie's,.. " you continue.  
" Please don't start that again,.." Michael replies.  
" Well,... what is it then,.... because I'm sick of this,.. we were so happy,.. everything was great,.. no,..actually everything was perfect,.. and then we had that argument over Charlotte which we resolved,.... we made up from that and now this is happening,... and it has all been since that night,.... I just want my old Michael back" you reply.  
You look over and see his eyes glaring into the road ahead, and his jaw tensing.  
You continue to glare at him, and you then let out a heavy sigh from his lack of response.  
You arrive at the Garrison shortly afterwards, and you both enter not speaking to one another.  
You see most of his family up in the corner and you follow behind Michael towards them all.  
" Hello,.. you two" Polly smiles warmly at you both, as she smokes a cigarette sitting next to Ada.  
Michael just briefly nods at them both but you return her smile and give them a sweet hello, as Polly then gives you a kiss on the cheek.  
Michael then makes his way over to sit with the boys without even saying a single word to you.  
He literally just leaves you standing there like a loose part as you find a seat next to the ladies.  
" I love your dress" Ada smiles to you.  
" Oh,.. thanks" you smile back to her as you sit down next to her, Polly, Lizzie, Linda and Esme.  
You eventually get up and get a drink and spend the rest of the night talking to the girls as the guys get more and more drunk.  
You look over at Michael every once in a while, trying to catch his eye.  
But everytime he does look back over at you, and you give him a small smile across the tables you were sitting around, he just looks away like he didn't even notice you,.. knocking his drink back and talking to his cousins.  
You were getting beyond frustrated,... if you didn't know that he did actually love you,... you would be really concerned right now that it may be over between you both.  
Although he wasn't even acting like he did love you.  
You carried on drinking with the girls,... listening to Polly doing Lizzie's reading,... saying that the baby she was carrying is a girl.  
" Our Pol has never been wrong,.. " Ada replied to a excited Lizzie.  
You smiled along with the rest of the girls at Lizzie's excitement, pretending that everything was ok and you were not secretly worried sick about your own relationship.  
You then went up the bar with Ada to get some more drinks.  
As you both stood and chatted at the bar while waiting to be served, the two of you were approached by two young men.  
They were definitely trying to flirt with you both, as you just stayed slient and smiled throughout, as Ada responded to each of their comments with her quick wit.  
You glance over at your tables and you see Michael is now staring back at you at the bar.  
His eyes are like daggers at you and the two men you and Ada are talking to and you notice his jaw is clenched tight and he is gripping his glass tightly.  
He looked angry, and was looking at you like you were doing something wrong.  
You choose to ignore him, smiling and laughing along at their jokes with Ada until you both get served.  
As you sit back down and carry on talking to the girls, you notice Michael now staring at you intensely.  
You look back over at him and decide this time not to smile, you just simply glance back at him and then turn and look away back to talking to Ada and ignore his stares.  
As the hours pass into the early hours of the morning, and Arthur and John can hardly walk straight anymore and Finn is being sick outside as they all had drank way too much, you all started to get up to get ready to go home.  
Michael walks out of the pub in front of you with Tommy, leaving you to follow behind with the girls.  
As soon as you reach his car, you see him leaning against it, having a cigarette while he waits for you.  
You get into the car without saying anything to him as you wait for him to finish his cigarette, and he then drives you both back to his mom's house again in complete silence.  
As you both enter his bedroom, and you go to take off your dress to get into bed he suddenly takes you off guard.  
" Look,.... I'm sorry" he blurts out.  
He just stare over at him, completely took back.  
" I know thay I have been acting like a right dick these past few weeks" he continues, his face looking quite ashamed.  
" Well,..." you sigh, " I'm not going to disagree with you,."  
He softly laughs and gives you a weak smile.  
" You look so beautiful tonight,... and I do know how lucky I am to have you,...to be able to call your mine" he replies.  
You feel your heart get warm and gently flutter from his words.  
" I just want to know what is wrong,... I mean, you keep saying its not about what happened at Maggie's and Peter's,.." you reply before he cuts you off.  
" It is,.." he blurts out, as he frowns and then brings his hands up to his brow.  
You let out a heavy sigh, and look at him concerningly.  
" I know she's not my biggest fan" he then laughs before his face then turns serious, " but a lot of things that she said that night is true."  
You continue to stare at him with a confused look on your face, and he let's out a heavy sigh.  
" I am dangerous to be around,.. I am dangerous for you to be around,...you being with me puts you in all kinds of danger, all of the time" he sighs, " I never realised it before.. I guess I didn't want to,... but she's right,... and if anything was to happen to you like it did to Grace,..." he says, before he stops.  
He then looks at you, holding your eye contact for a few seconds before looking down at the floor.  
" I would want to die too,.. if I had to continue to live in a world without you in it" he then says, his face sorrowful.  
" Michael,... " you gasp, as you step forward towards him.  
" And I can't protect you twenty four hours of the day,.. I can't be there all of the while to keep you safe,... and if I really do love you,.. the safest thing for me to do to actually keep you safe from harm would be to let you go" he continues, looking back up from the floor at you.  
This makes you then pause,... as you stop just before you reach him.  
" But I can't,.... however hard I try and force myself too do that,..so nothing bad can ever happen to you like your friends say,.. I just can't let you go,.." he then continues, " I just can not bear the thought of actually letting you go,...I can't bear the thought of you being with someone else even for just a second,.." he frowns.  
" Michael,... " you say again, but he cuts you off again.  
" No,... there was something I had been meaning to do,... I had been planning it just before we went to your friend's house,... but then they messed with my head,....making me realise that I could lose you,... even making me try and force myself to end things with you just to keep you safe, " he says, " that's why have I been so distant,.. they frightened me what they said,.. so then I put this off,... but I know that this is the right moment,... as right as any,... because I now know that I will never want anything as much as I want you.,...you are the most precious thing in the world to me and I want nothing more then to spend the rest of my life with you,..." he says,.. as he then turns and opens the top of his bedroom drawer and removes something from inside of it.  
He looks at you,.. and you have never seen that look on his face before.  
It was a mixture of nerves....and anticipation.  
You look down and it looks like a small box in his hands,..but you are still slightly confused.  
" I brought this a while ago,... I've known you are the one for ages,... but it was just finding the right time" he says, " and I know that this probably isn't the most romantic way it has ever been done,.. but I do know that I don't think anyone has ever loved anyone as much as I love you right this very moment."  
He then gets down on his knee, and opens the box.  
You gasp as the relisation suddenly hits you as to what is actually happening, as inside the box is a beautiful diamond ring.  
" I promise to always keep you safe,... as you are the best thing that has ever happened to me,.. and I know that Tommy found me that day to lead me to you,... to lead me to this very moment,...and I promise that I will love and protect you for the rest of my life" he says, his voice soft but you can hear his nerves, " y/n,... will you do me the greatest honour of becoming my wife" he nervously smiles.  
You feel the tears begin to stream down your face, as you bring your hands up over your mouth.  
This was definitely the happiest few seconds that you had ever experienced in your whole life.  
" Yes,.." was all you managed to squeal, as your smile began to get even wider, " Yes,... of course I'll marry you,.." 


	30. Chapter 30

You jumped into his arms before he could even place the ring on your finger.  
" I love you so much,.." you say into his ear, tightening your embrace around him.  
" I love you more,.." he smiles, as he gets a bit wobbly on the floor with your weight on him whilst he is still balancing on one knee.  
You sense this and let go off him, your smile still beaming with joy as you put your hands over your mouth again with shock and excitement as you look from him back to the ring.  
" It's so beautiful,..." you smile at it.  
" Well,... it was always going to be impossible to find one as beautiful as its owner,... but this was the nearest one I could find" he smiles, as he removes it from the box and places it on your finger.  
You smile at it on your finger as tears stream down your face again.  
" Michael,....I'm so happy" you gasp, with tear filled eyes.  
" I want to make you happy,.... every single day" he smiles, as he stands back up in front of you and takes you in his arms.  
" I'm going to be your wife,..." you giggle as you rest your forehead against his,.." that is going to make me the happiest person alive" you say, as you kiss him tenderly on the lips.  
" I am never going to let anything bad happen to you,...not ever" he breathes against you.  
" I know,...." you smile, as he rocks you in his arms,  
" god I love you,..." you continue, your face wet with tears.  
" This is a new beginning,... the start of our lives together,... as husband and wife" he smiles.  
" No more secrets,...no more silences,... you must tell me everything that is on your head,.. everything that is worrying you,... that is what marriage is all about,... being there for each other,...always" you say, planting a kiss on his lips again.  
" I will,... its just I feel this strong urge to protect you,... its just because I love you so much,...I want to keep you safe from the bad side of this family" he replies.  
" I just don't want you to hide anything from me anymore,... we're a partnership now" you smile at him, as you cup his face in your hands gently, and he nods in return as you passionately kiss each other.  
You both fall backwards onto the bed, as he unstraps your dress and removes it from over your head in one simple movement.  
You feel his hands then go around your back to unclip your bra, as his lips attack the rest of your body, and he removes it effortlessly from its restraints as it falls off the bed along with your dress, as his lips start attacking your breasts with his mouth.  
You moan from his touch as you slightly raise yourself up and start unbuckling the belt around his trousers.  
He removes his shirt and you instantly run your hands over his firm abdomen, as you begin to feel warm with arousal.  
His lips meet yours as he pushes his tongue within your mouth, kissing you passionately as he gently pushes you back on the bed as he climbs on top of you.  
You moan into his mouth, as you feel him slip your panties down your legs, leaving you fully naked beneath him, as he removes his final piece of clothing that was covering his erection.  
" I love you" he moans into your mouth, softly breaking from the passionate kiss.  
" I love you too,.." you smile.  
Once he releases his erection from the restraints of his underwear, you shift downwards on the bed, and softly take it out within the grip of your hand.  
You softly plant little kisses on the tip of it, and then lick your way along the shaft, until you then take the whole of him in your mouth.  
You hear him slightly gasp as he rocks his head back, his one hand gripping the back of your head firmly as his other finds it way to your breast and gives it a tender squeeze as your mouth works his shaft in a bobbing motion.  
You hear him groan above you as you pleasure him,.... working him with your mouth back and forth, increasing the speed to make him moan a little further.  
" y/n,...." he moans, his fingers running through your hair, and you look up to see his head thrown back and his eyes closed shut.  
You smile to yourself around his erection, as you continue your movements on his hard manhood, watching him bite down on his lip as groans of pleasure continue to leave his mouth.  
He removes himself from the inside of your mouth, the way he always does when he senses himself about to come.  
He pushes you back onto the bed again as he presses his lips against yours, his tongue entering your mouth again for a hard, passionate kiss.  
You grab the back of his head as you devour his mouth, holding him as if you never want to let him go.  
You feel him smile against your mouth as he then looks back down at you admirably.  
" My beautiful wife,..." he smiles, " my beautiful naked wife,.... all ready and waiting for me" he chuckles as he climbs on top of you with a smirk.  
" You cheeky bastard,..." you giggle back at him, as you flash him a smile.  
" Um,... you mean husband.. ? " he grins back, as he raises his eyebrows playfully.  
" I haven't walked down the aisle yet,.." you smirk back.  
" Oh right,....what are you saying then,.. that you want longer to think about it,... that you might want to change your mind? " he looks shocked, but in a teasing, playful way,.. and you giggle in response.  
" Never,... " you smile back, " it will always be a yes,. "  
He smiles widely back, his eyes sparkling at your reply as he then leans down and kisses you passionately, entwining his naked body with yours.  
After a minute of passionately kissing, you feel him enter you and you gasp slightly at the feel of him now inside of you.  
He let's you adjust to him as his lips then finds yours again, as he slowly thrusts into you, his body rocking on top of you as you wrap your arms around him.  
You moan into his mouth as he thrusts into you core, and you both begin to make love, both your hands roaming each others bodies.  
" Michael,..." you moan, as after a while he quickens his thrusts inside of you, making the walls of your vagina pulsate as you feel your orgasm approaching.  
You come with a heavy string of whimpers, the waves of pleasure washing over you as your eyes roll to the back of your head with ecstasy and you feel the front strands of your hair stick to your face.  
You flop your head back down on the pillow as you breathe heavily.  
You feel Michael flop down on top of you after he releases himself, his breathing also erratic above you as he then slides down from being on top of you and rests himself beside you, his arms still wrapped around you.  
" I love you,... so much" you gasp, lying there in his arms.  
" I love you too,.. you make me so happy" he replies, as he leans over and kisses you on your forehead.  
You smile into his embrace.  
" No one can be as happy as I am right now,... you have made me the happiest girl alive tonight" you giggle, as you admire the ring on your finger.  
" I'm so happy that you like it" he softly replies, as he watches you admire your engagement ring.  
" I wouldn't of even cared if it was an elastic band,... becoming your wife means more to me than anything else in this world" you smile.  
" And for that,.. I'm so lucky" he smiles, as he kisses you again on your forehead.  
" I was just so worried that we were in such a bad place until tonight,... you weren't talking to me,.. sometimes you would barely even look at me" you replied.  
" I know,.. I know,.. I'm so sorry" he replied, " my head was just all over the place after what your friend said to me,.... I thought that they were right,.... one day I could lose you,... the same way that Tommy lost Grace... because of who we are and what we do,.... and I watched it destroy Tom,.... and I just can never go through that,...what he had to,... I can never lose you y/n,.... I would never be able to come back from that" he replied.  
" And I worry about you every minute of everyday too,.. the world that you live in with your cousins,... how dangerous it is,...you don't think I worry everday about something happening to you,.. it would kill me too,... my life would be over as well if anything was to happen to you Michael" you replied, rubbing his chest softly.  
He looks down at you solemnly,... and pulls you tighter towards him.  
" I know that to keep you safe would be to put distance between us,...and that was what I was trying to do,..but it was killing me inside,... and that's how I knew,... that I could never let you go,... and I can never lose you either,.... its been so hard,.... but I just want you with me forever" he softly replies.  
" And I want that too.." you smile.  
He smiles back and kisses you again.  
" When shall we tell people...?" you ask smiling.  
" We can tell my mom in the morning if you like,... and then everyone will know" he laughed.  
" Do you think that she will be happy?" you smiled.  
Michael let out a soft chuckle.  
" I think that she is going to be ecstatic,...she already thinks of you as her daughter in law anyway" he smiles.  
" And we can then go to mine and tell my mom" you smile.  
You then feel him tense up a little,.. he knows your mother's fear of you dating him,.. a peaky blinder,. let alone you working for Tommy as a nanny.  
But you were now going to be married to one,... and be a member of their family,... you both knew that your mother was going to be fearful of that,.....even though she knew how much you loved Michael and how happy he made you.  
" She will be fine,... she will have to be,... she knows deep down that no one will make me as happy as you make me" you reassure him, stroking his chest.  
" I know what it is like though to be scared for your safety y/n,...to have that fear of someday losing you" he replies.  
" Don't worry about my mother,...we also have got to tell Maggie yet" you giggled.  
" There's one i'm not looking forward too" he scoffs with a chuckle.  
You then smile up at him.  
" She will be fine,.. I know she will,...she just wants me to be happy,... and she knows I only want you" you replied.  
He smiles at your comment as he kisses you again, this time more forcefully.  
" I can't wait for you to become my wife" he smiles, stroking the side of your face with his thumb.  
" And I can't wait for you to become my husband" you smile back, " we are going to be so happy,..."


	31. Chapter 31

You sat on the floor in the nursery with Charlie as he played around with his toy trains.  
You both had just completed making a large train track on the floor and Charlie kept running around it with the toy trains in his hands, making the noises out loud.  
" Choo Choo" the toddler chuckled, as he kept making his way over the tracks.  
You smiled to yourself as you watched him.  
Suddenly you caught a glimpse of the ring on your finger and your smile grew even wider.  
It often caught your eye throughout the day when the jewels on it caught the sun and it would sparkle upon your finger.  
Making your smile beam even brighter than the sun reflecting on it.  
It sometimes still felt like one big dream,... that you were going to get married to Michael Gray.  
You watched Charlie and wondered if you would have a child of your very own soon,.. maybe a son,.. your very own little Michael.  
Your heart could just burst at the very thought.  
You felt so lucky,...you just couldn't wait to become his wife.  
You were hoping the wedding will be in the next few months.  
Polly was ecstatic when you both had told her the news the morning after he had proposed that night.  
She let out a little scream, her eyes wide with joy and had clapped her hands with delight as she kissed and hugged you both on the spot.  
" Welcome to the family y/n,....." she smiled at you through tear filled eyes, as she held you in a tight but loving embrace.  
" Although,... it took him long enough" she then said, as Michael rolled his eyes at her.  
She admired your ring, her happiness visible as she then wanted to discuss how quickly it could be arranged, excitedly discussing preparations for it.  
You were grateful for her eagerness,... you didn't want to wait any longer neither to finally become Mrs y/n Gray.  
Later on, you and Michael had gone over for dinner at your mother's house, where you both told her the happy news together.  
She cried,... she was happy for you,.. as she knew that you were happy and he was all that you ever wanted,... but you could secretly see the concern and worry splashed across her face.  
Her little girl was getting married,.. to a man she loved dearly,...yes,... but that man just happened to be a gangster and a Shelby.  
You felt the motherly instinct within her as she held on to you firmly as she hugged you congratulations,... she wanted to keep her little girl safe.  
Michael was as ever the gentlemen,... insisting that he would spend the rest of his life loving and taking care of you,...and that she had nothing to worry about,.. he would never let any harm ever come to you and that you would want for nothing.  
She nodded and smiled,... but you could still see a mother's fear for her child within her eyes.  
You just hoped she really did know how happy he made you.  
You then told the rest of Michael's family,...everyone was happy for you both but no one actually seemed particularly shocked by the news.  
You got the impression that they all had been expecting it.  
Polly did however insist on a family party to celebrate.  
" I'm so glad that it is you that he has chosen to marry,...." Tommy come up and said to you with a smile, as he congratulated you as everyone else celebrated with a drink.  
You got the impression that meant that they trusted you within the family,..as Tommy was never one to trust outsiders.  
Michael wasn't really fussed much about the finer details of the day,... he said he would do and go along with whatever made you happy.  
He told you that all he wanted was for you to become his wife,... but as long as you didn't let his mother get too carried away.  
It's a wedding between two people that love each other,... not a circus, he remarked to her.  
But you just wanted to have something traditional,.. a church,.. a white dress,... even though you were no longer a blushing virgin.  
Michael had seen to that a while ago.  
However it was just going to be a beautiful but simple affair,... and a nice party back at Tommy's house afterwards for all of your family and friends.  
And then it would be the start of your lives together.  
Although Michael was insistent that you both have a honeymoon for a week or two after the wedding.  
He had smirked at you when he said that he wanted you all to himself for a while straight after the wedding,... so you both could further the family line he had laughed at you with a wink.  
He actually seemed more excited for the honeymoon then the wedding day itself.  
But nevertheless, you and Michael were now in the best place you both had ever been throughout your whole relationship.  
Things were not just now great again,.. they were excellent.  
He had promised not to keep anymore secrets from you,...all to hide any of his true feelings such as worries where he would just give you the silent treatment like he had done it the past.  
This was now a whole new beginning,...

Eventually Charlie had tired himself out from playing and now he had just finished his lunch it was time for his little afternoon nap.  
You double checked that he was definitely asleep as you quickly headed downstairs to get some of his learning books that was still down there from yesterday for when he woke up.  
As you walked down the corridor, you suddenly felt two hands grab hold of you from behind you, as you were then pulled backwards towards their owner as they held you closely and firmly within their grip, their arms wrapping themselves around your waist tightly as you wriggled around in their grip.  
You then heard a playful laughter behind you as you felt the person began to nuzzle their mouth within the crease of your neck.  
" You look so good,... I could just eat you" you heard the voice of your fiancée chuckle.  
" Where did you come from,..?" you asked with a smile, nudging him softly in his torso for sneaking up on you like that.  
" I'm meeting Tommy here in about an hour,.. but I thought I'll get here a bit earlier so I could spend some time with my beautiful girl for a while first,.." he replied.  
" Oh,.. and who might that be" you grinned, raising your eyebrow teasingly.  
" Your in a playful mood,.." he laughed.  
" Am I,....? " you laughed, trying to free yourself from his grip.  
" Yes,... I like that" he laughed, planting soft kisses along the skin of your neck.  
You giggled underneath his ticklish kisses to the sensitive area on your neck.  
He then grabbed you by the hand and pulled you up a nearby corner.  
" Where are we going,...?" you laughed as you let him drag you over there, as he then pinned you up against the wall of a quiet corridor.  
" Ssshh" he laughed, as he then presssed his lips against yours and began kissing you passionately to silence you.  
" Go into Tommy's office,.." he grinned,.. as he softly parted from the kiss.  
" Why,...?" you chuckled in a confused manner.  
" Do you remember that night,.. when we were in bed,... when we discussed each others silly sexual fantasy's" he smiled,.. his eyes wide and bright with excitement.  
You started to laugh as you recalled what he was on about.  
" Oh,.. when I said I wouldn't say no to trying out a bit of roleplay from time to time,....that it could be sexy" you started to reply, as you then whispered, " and you said that your biggest fantasy would be to fuck me over your office desk,.." you quietly laughed,.. unsure of who could suddenly walk past you in the large house and hear you both.  
" No,... I actually said that it would make me so hard to fuck you over Tommy's desk,...not my own" he answered you back, unable to remove the smirk off his gorgeous face.  
" Oh yes,.. that was it,... you said that you wanted to bend me over Tommy's desk and fuck me so hard until I was sore and could no longer walk,.. not exactly something I easily forgot" you then laughed playfully, as you raised your eyebrows and shook your head in him.  
" Well,... get in there then,.." he suddenly smirked at you.  
You then pause, slightly shocked, and you look at him questionably,.. and notice that even though he is grinning like a cheshire cat,... there is a seriousness to his face.  
" I thought you meant it as a joke,.." you quietly reply,.. the shock at his suggestion visible in your voice.  
" I'm not joking,... I want you to go into his office,... now" he said, his eyes serious as they penetrate your own wide eyes,... his face dark but a smirk appearing slowly on his lips.  
You stare back at him with bemusement.  
" Your serious,....aren't you,...?" you then reply to him.  
" I've never been more serious about anything,... get your sweet little ass in there,... before I end up carrying you in there myself,.." he smirks, breathing heavily against your face.  
" Michael,..." you gasp, looking around you both in the corridor, just in case of any overhearing individuals.  
" You just said that Tommy will be back soon,.. " you continue.  
" In just less than an hour now that you keep rambling on and not doing as your told, .... so we are cutting it fine already,... so you better get a move on or he may come back to find you in a more than comprising position if you don't hurry up and get a move on,.." he laughs, as he runs his thumb down the side of your face slowly and seductively.  
" Michael,... we can't" you say, as you let out a soft laugh of disbelief at what he was seriously suggesting.  
" You really are going to make me carry you in there aren't you,... I am getting ever so slightly worried about our upcoming vows to eachother now,... you know the love, honour and obey part,.. as you really don't understand the obey one very well do you darling,..." he chuckled.  
" Fuck me,.. your really serious about this, aren't you... what if he catches us" you reply sternly, your eyes wide and serious.  
" Like I said,... the longer you keep talking and making me wait,...." he laughs.  
You just look back at him, your mouth wide open,...he seriously meant for you both to go in and have sex in Tommy's office right this very moment.  
" What if he comes back early? " you reply, biting down on your lip.  
" And what if he does,...?" he just laughs back at you.  
" Um,.. that would be bad,... very very bad,.." you reply seriously, your eyes wide at him.  
" You have one last chance at walking in on your own or you will be carried in there over my shoulders" he just laughs back at you, as he then presses you more firmly up against the wall, as his one hand then starts wandering down the front of the dress that you were wearing,... softly trailing down in between your breasts, softly down your stomach, until his hand finally reaches in between your legs, as he then grabs your vagina tightly within the palm of his hand and he gives it a firm squeeze.  
You gulp at his boldness, as well as the shock to your intimate region, as he gives you a small smirk from your shocked response, as he then squeezes it tightly again for a second time,... the friction making you feel yourself start to throb inside from his intimate touch,.. and you gulp slightly again from his action,.. much to his amusement.  
" Five,...four,...three,..." he begins to count down,..his eyes dark and lustful with desire as he gives your vagina another squeeze within his hand.  
" ok,..ok,..." you comply, as you look around you and make your way into the empty office. 

As you enter you feel a twinge of anxiety in the pit of your stomach at getting caught in here.  
This is so fucked up,.. you think to yourself as your eyes dart around the dark office.  
You had only ever been in here once or twice before,..one of those times was your interview that you had for the job as nanny when you met Tommy and Polly for the very first time.  
However you knew that Michael and the rest of the family were in here all the while,... discussing business and other more dangerous stuff that you knew didn't concern you.  
You then heard Michael enter behind you, and you turn around to face him.  
His smile was bigger than a small child's on Christmas day,... as you watched him softly close the door behind him,.. as if he was trying to avoid making any sound to avoid being heard entering in here.  
His eyes then looked over at you,.. as he made his way over to you.  
He appeared amused by your nervousness,.. amused and secretly turned on by how worried you looked at being in here.  
" This feels so wrong,..." you nervously laugh, as Michael finally reaches you and pushes your body against his.  
" Does that turn you on,...?" he smirks.  
" It's making me feel very very nervous that he is going to walk through that door at any moment,..?" you chuckle, shaking your head at him.  
" He might,... he might not,...?" Michael grinned, his eyes admiringly scanning your face and body in front of him.  
" But he is definitely going to be back in here within the hour,.. " you reply sternly.  
" So,... let's get a move on,..." Michael grinned, wrapping his hands around your waist.  
You could tell he was getting extremely turned on by this.  
He had even admitted it before,... fucking you in Tommy's office,... over Tommy's desk was his greatest fantasy.  
Even though at the time you thought he was just joking,... you now knew he really wasn't.  
He was now experiencing his greatest fantasy becoming very much a reality right this very moment.  
To say that he was looking completely overjoyed with himself as well as seriously aroused was an understatement.  
He looked like he was in his own private heaven right now.  
" Take off your dress,...?" he ordered,.. his face stern and serious,... but you could tell he was trying to hide his smug smirk.  
You willingly complied,... pulling it over your head and dropping it onto the floor next to you as you then stepped out of your shoes.  
You were now standing in front of him in just your bra and panties, your hair slightly disheveled from the static of your dress when you removed it over your head from your body.  
His grin grew wider, as he placed both of his hands on your inner waist, his eyes admiring you standing in front of him.  
" And the rest,...?" he playfully said, raising his eyebrows.  
You shook your head in amazement as you then unclipped your bra, letting it just drop to the floor as your naked breasts were now exposed to him.  
The coldness of the room made your nipples instantly hard and erected in front of him, and you saw a hunger flash through his eyes desirably as you then stepped out of your panties,.. you now were standing fully naked in the middle of Tommy's office.  
Your eyes slightly glance down, and you can see the growing bulge in between Michael's trousers hardening by the second, as if it was needing to release itself from the restraints of his clothes pretty soon.  
" Now I bet that is the most beautiful sight that these four walls of this room has ever seen,.." he smirks at your naked body in front of him,.. as you just shake your head and give him a small smirk back.  
You see him bite down on his lower lip as his eyes then look over every inch of your body.  
You always felt uncomfortable when he did that,.. as you fretted over whether he was noticing the small scars or stretch marks on your body that had produced over the years from all kind of different things,.... the pinky coloured faded stretch marks in the more rounded parts of your body that you could thank puberty for,.. or just the little scars in different places in general from childhood accidents that had never fully faded away or where you had just cut yourself by accident the other week when shaving your legs too quickly in the bath.  
But he had never ever mentioned any of them,..or acted as if he even noticed them,... luckily he had always just seemed so turned on whenever you had been naked in front of him,...like you were this very second.  
He had always insisted that he loved every part of you.  
You suddenly felt his tender touch softly cup your two breasts within his cold hands, making you shudder slightly as he softly glided his fingers over your firm erected nipples.  
" One of so many of my many favourite parts,..." he grins as he suddenly takes one of your breasts in his mouth.  
You softly moan at the contact, as you let your head fall back slightly in response.  
You feel both of his hands make their way around your behind and grab you by your ass.  
He then lifts you up within his arms and carries you just the few steps forward, to sit you on top of Tommy's desk, moving a few things off the top of it with his arms before he rests you on top of it.  
" Michael,.... don't break anything" you gasp.  
" This desk will be lucky if it stays as one solid piece of furniture after I'm finished you with" he replies, smiling but serious.  
He pushes his lips against your mouth forcefully, as he begins to passionate kiss you with his tongue, his hands roaming around your body, paying particular attention to your breasts.  
" Michael,...." you gasp.  
" I need to take my trousers off,.... I'm so fucking hard I could explode right here" he groans, as he unbuckles his belt and begins to remove his lower clothing before his upper clothing.  
You smile at his urgent need as you start to remove his jacket from his shoulders and start removing his tie from around his neck, and unbuttoning his shirt for him.  
His mouth then returns back to your mouth, almost animalistic - like,.. as he forces his tongue back within your mouth.  
You suddenly realised how extremely turned on you had now become ,...as you tried to push the worry that someone could walk in on you both at any moment to the back of your head.  
You loved him,.. and you wanted nothing more than to make him happy,... and you at least wanted to make this fantasy of his rememberable.  
So you decided to play along for him,... to satisfy his increasing pleasure.  
" Please fuck me,... I want you to fuck me right now,... right over this desk,...I need you too Michael" you moaned,... trying your best to comply with your man's needs.  
You watched his eyes instantly grow large in size and light up brightly from your sudden outburst,... as if you had just poured petrol on a growing fire that had already been burning deep within him.  
You smirked to yourself at your achievement at turning him on even further, as you watched his grin widen in size across his face.  
" You want to play.....? " he smirked back at you, biting down on his lip.  
You just responded to him with a huge smile as his lips then pressed against yours again forcefully, as you both began kissing each other passionately, both of your hands roaming over each others bodies like two hungry animals.  
His hands then reached the top of your thighs as he then spread your legs open in front of him.  
You felt two of his fingers slowly trace their way down your wet opening in between your legs, gently back and forth to torment you before he inserted them both inside of you.  
You gasped slightly at their intrusion, as he started massaging your clitoris, his fingers increasing their speed as if to get you warmed up.  
You bite down on your lip as you let out a muffled moan, as you felt your clitoris throb against his moving fingers.  
" Mike,..." you softly pant against him, rocking your head back in pleasure.  
" Your so beautiful,..." he said, as he kissed your cheek as he continued to finger you, " you going to look even more beautiful bent over this desk in a second" you heard him whisper into your ear.  
He pressed against your clitoris just a little bit more firmer, making your stifled moans finally release themselves from your mouth before then removing his fingers from your hot wet core.  
" Your ready,.." he chuckled at feeling how wet you had now become, his face admiring your own face as he ran his hands over your naked breasts before pressing his hands against your waist and hips in an effort to turn you around to face the window behind you.  
You complied and turned around, leaning your body forward and pressing your hands flat down against the dark wood of Tommy's office table, as you bent yourself over it in front of him,  
Your eyes now facing the large window in front of you, you could see the outside view of the land of Tommy's house, hoping that the white nets covering the window glass meant that nobody could see inside of the window like you could see outside.  
You then felt Michael's one hand rest against the side of your hip as you felt him rub the tip of his erection against your wet folds.  
You gasped as you felt the whole of him enter you, as you heard him let out a low moan from behind you.  
" Fucking hell,..." you hear him moan, as you feel him begin to thrust his erection inside of your wetness.  
You feel his hands place themselves on either side of your hips to steady himself, as you feel him begin to rhythmicly rock his lower region as his hard cock thrusts into your vagina back and forth in a steady pace.  
You feel his erection reach deep inside of you with each thrust he delivers from the angle his cock is penetrating you with.  
" Oh god,..." you then hear him groan, as he bends you even further over Tommy's desk, and begins to pound your wet vagina hard.  
You gulp slightly as you flop down on the table forcefully, your hard nipples now pressed down against the wood and the rocking movements of your body from his hard thrusts making your erected and sensitive nipples feel a tantalising friction as they keep rubbing backwards and forwards across the wood of the table, giving you quite a pleasurable sensation as you close your eyes as you hear the pounding sensation of him thrusting into your wetness, as well as the feel of his balls slapping themselves against your skin from behind you.  
" Oh,... Michael,.." you pant, as you bite down on your lip harshly from the deepness of the penetration you are experiencing right now, as you grip hold of the edge of the table with all of your might,....just trying to find something to grab hold of for you to steady yourself with, as your body continues to be rocked back and forth from his deep pounding thrusts,...each thrust making your vagina feel hotter and hotter with each thrust he penetrates you with.  
" Fuck,... fuck,..." you hear him pant,.. you can't see him right now but you can feel him really going at it inside of you.  
" Oh god,.....oh god,....." you cry out, holding on to the edge of the table forcefully.  
From the very second you came into this room you had secretly intended to remain as silent as possible thoughtout your love making session, hopefully so that no one would ever hear you in here.  
However the way he was pounding into you, your heavy but stifled pants through biting down on your lip had now developed into fully fledged moans.  
You feel your eyes widen before you then close them shut, gripping onto the edge of the table to remain in your current position as he continues to fuck you hard, making you cry out loud gasps and high sounding whimpers from your mouth.  
You hear him moaning and groaning from behind of you, his hands gripping hold onto your hips firmly, and you can hear him getting lost in the moment of it all from his loud groans of pleasure, and from the fact that he has never ever fucked you this hard or in this way before.  
Suddenly you feel him grip you by your hair, as he then pulls you up and his other hand wraps around your waist, as he then pulls you closer to him, so the skin of your hot back is resting against the skin of his hot torso.  
" Turn around,... I want to see your face,.." he breathes, as he then removes himself from inside of you and turns you around to face him.  
His face looks hot with desire, his dark lustful eyes scanning your face as he cups your face in his hand, and starts lovingly stroking your cheek with his thumb.  
" You like this,...?" he smirks at you, still stroking your cheek softly, his eyes watching you intently.  
You nod back to him, as you are way too out of breath to even master a word as you heavily breathe in front of him.  
" You turn me on so much y/n,... " he breathes against your face, his eyes admirably scanning you with a small smirk across his lips as he then lifts you up, your breasts bouncing in front of him as he sits you down on top of Tommy's desk.  
You feel your hot wetness buzzing as it sits on top of the cold wood, as you desperately need friction again down there from having such a sudden withdrawal when it had previously been pounded so hard, it's now buzzing as well as throbbing to have attention again.  
Michael presses his lips against yours, kissing you passionately, his tongue diving into your mouth to gain dominance.  
You feel his hands grab hold of both your breasts as he starts playing with your erected nipples, making you gasp slightly within the kiss.  
You feel him chuckle against your lips, as he continues to caresses your nipples, watching your face intently as he does so as you close your eyes and whimper softly.  
" Tell me what you want,...?" he smirks, his hands massaging your breasts as you sit up in front of him on the table.  
You knew where this was going,... he loved to tease you,... he wanted you to beg for it,... even though you knew he needed it so desperately himself.  
" You,.." you breathe back, as you see a smile creep up on his lips adorably, " I want you,.... right here" you say, as your one hand goes in between your legs and slowly caresses along your wet opening.  
You watch his eyes grow wide and his smile even wider as his lips attack your lips again, as he spreads your legs out wide with both of his hands.  
He softly motions you backwards, so you are now lying down on Tommy's desk, your ass, back and head now resting on the hard cold wood, and your eyes no longer seeing Michael, but just the ceiling of Tommy's office and the top of Michael's head through the lower corners of your eyes.  
You feel his hands holding your legs open wide, as you feel his erection against your wet opening again.  
You take another gulp as you feel him thrust himself back inside of you again, your vagina once again feeling full as you hear him groan heavily above you.  
You moan and whimper as you close your eyes shut from the view of the ceiling, as he begins to thrust into your wetness, each thrust more rapid than the last.  
You then feel his two hands grab hold of your two bouncing breasts again, squeezing them within the palm of his hands as he groans and pants above you.  
" Ahhh,.. Ahhh,..." you continue to moan, you feel the walls of your vagina start to throb around his erection, and your cheeks burn up on your face.  
However much you originally hated this idea,... god did it feel so fucking good right this very second.  
It was like you no longer cared about anything else other than coming on the end of his dick.  
" Keep going,.... please keep going,...." you moan, and as soon as the words leave your mouth,.. your feel his thrusts quicken.  
You arch your back to grab hold of him with your hands as he pounds hard into you, his hand reaches for your erected breasts again as he moans alongside you.  
You then open your eyes and look over at him.  
You smile to yourself as you see his eyes closed shut, but his eyebrows furrowed with tension, his mouth moving through heavy breathing and groans as he rocks his body back and forth into you, his eyebrows becoming more knitted together and his jaw clenching as he quickens his thrusts even more into you.  
At this point your own pleasure overtakes your ability to concentrate on looking at him, as you also close your eyes and let your head rock backwards at the feel of the impending orgasm inside of you, feeling his hands rub your nipples as he pounds into your wetness to finally tip you over the edge.  
Your body now on fire, you then let your head fall backwards onto the desk as you come with cries and whimpers, as you feel Michael himself buckle inside of you with heavy groans.  
" Oh god,..." you heavily pant, as you lie there after you let your orgasm ripple throughout the whole of your body.  
You can hear his heavy breathing above you,.. as you lie flat on the desk, trying to catch your breath as you feel your legs weak as they dangle at the end of the desk.  
You then hear a soft laugh as you manage to slowly bring yourself to move and raise yourself up.  
" I've wanted to do that since the very first moment I saw you" he smiles, his breathing still heavy, as he runs his fingers though your messy hair.  
" Well, you finally fulfilled your wish,..." you laugh with a smile.  
" I just need to find another one to fulfil now,.. " he smirks, as he looks back at you with a raised eyebrow.  
" Your so bad Michael Gray,..." you laugh, as you come up off the table and rest your hands on his warm shoulders to steady yourself.  
" It's you that does it to me,... your shouldn't walk around looking like you do,..." he chuckles as he nuzzles his face into your neck, and starts kissing and sucking the skin there, as his hands caresses your naked breasts again.  
" Michael,.... " you gasp,.." I have seriously got to go,...I have left Charlie asleep upstairs" you moan against him, his soft playful kisses tickling your neck.  
He ignores you, continuing his kisses to your neck and stroking your tender breasts,.. making you gasp.  
" Mike,... I mean it,...I have got to go" you softly laugh,.. pulling away from his embrace as you go to retrieve your clothes from the floor.  
" I'm not finished with you yet,.... I've still got more plans for you tonight" he smirks, his eyes still lustful as he watches you start putting your underwear back on.  
" There's more,....lucky me,....." you sarcastically reply with a smirk, as you put your dress back on over your head and slip your shoes back on and you see him start to get redressed himself.  
" Do you wind me up deliberately,....?" he asks playfully, as he begins to button back up his shirt.  
You walk over to him, and pick his tie up and help him dress himself as you start wrapping his tie around his shirt.  
" I might,...? " you smile back, as you run your hands over his now clothed body in an effort to smooth him out.  
He laughs and smirks back at you as he then holds you closer to him for a soft loving kiss.  
You moan softly into the kiss, as you gently part lips, as he still holds you within his embrace.  
" I've really got to go,... I've got to find Charlie's books before he wakes up,... and Tommy could be,....." you begin to say, before you stop when you suddenly hear the sound of footsteps and Tommy's very close voice from right behind the door as if he was talking to someone right behind it.  
Your eyes grow wide with fear as you look at Michael, who in return looks back at you,...his eyes also wide.  
" Oh my god,.....he's back,.. " you whisper, as Michael places his finger across your lips to silence you.  
" Ssshh" he whispers to you.  
" Theres no other way out,..." you whisper back, your eyes stern and serious at him.  
Oh god,... this really was such a bad idea.  
You hear the door handle suddenly turn as Michael quickly shoves you behind the desk.  
" Get down there,..." he says, as he drags you backwards, as he pushes you down underneath Tommy's desk.  
You fall down to the ground on your knees, bent down and cramped underneath the office table,...and all you can now see is Michael's legs and feet as you hide underneath there.  


" Michael,..." you then hear the voice of Tommy say.  
You take a big gulp, as you try to remain as silent as possible,.. your head racing with the fact that you are so going to get caught down here.  
" Alright Tom,..." you then hear Michael reply.  
It then goes suddenly silent.  
Oh god,....  
" Yeah,... what are you doing in here already,... I said the meeting won't begin till half two" you hear Tommy reply.  
" I got here a bit earlier,... I finished up at the office early so I thought I'd just head straight down here" you hear Michael reply.  
" Oh right,..." you hear Tommy then reply.  
" To see my future daughter in law no doubt,..." you then heard the voice of Polly enter the room, " were not stupid Michael,... we have all been in love once before" you then hear her say, followed by laughter coming from Tommy.  
You then hear Michael laugh slightly.  
" Erm,... what time are the others arriving,..?" you heard Michael ask.  
Others,....the fucking others,...what the hell is he on about.  
" Arthur and John will be here in about fifteen minutes,...and I said that Finn can come along too,... he needs to start sitting in on these meetings now he is getting older,...to start understanding everything,.." you hear Tommy reply.  
" He's still just a kid Tommy,.... " you hear Polly then reply.  
" Me, John and Arthur were much younger than him when we started,... he needs to know Pol" you hear Tommy reply.  
" Well,.... Ada is on her way, and I just saw Charlie, Curly, and Isaiah walking up to the house with Johnny from his wagon down by the river " you hear Polly say.  
" Yeah,... and Lizzie is already here,..." you hear Tommy reply.  
" Did you do that thing I asked you to do, Michael? " you heard Polly say to him.  
You suddenly hear Michael clear his throat and cough slightly.  
" Yeah,....yeah I did" you heard Michael reply.  
" Good,... now this meeting is going to be a long one,...we have got a lot of ground to cover,..." you hear Tommy then say.  
Oh my god,... oh my fucking god,.. you start to panic to yourself.  
You so need to get out of here.  
" Right,... I'll go and get Lizzie," you hear Polly say, as you then hear the fading patter of her high heeled shoes.  
" You alright,......? " you then hear Tommy ask.  
" Yeah,..... I'm fine" you hear Michael reply to him.  
" You just look,..... stressed " you heard Tommy say.  
You hear Michael clear his throat again.  
" No,.. I'm fine,... its just been a busy morning,... that's all" you hear Michael reply.  
" Right,... well its about to get even more busier... there's things I need you to do for me" you hear Tommy say.  
" Yeah,..." you hear Michael reply,... more quieter then he had originally been.  
" Yeah,...you and me are going on a little business trip next week" you hear Tommy say,... as you then hear footsteps as if Tommy is approaching the desk and you gulp slightly before you then hear the clinking noise of glasses,...as if he is pouring a drink.  
" Alright,...." you hear Michael reply.  
Suddenly you then hear a loud sigh, followed by footsteps, but it's like they are fading to the other side of the room.  
Suddenly you then feel a hand drag you up from underneath the desk.  
You let Michael pull you up, his eyes wide at you, as he signals you with his wide but stern eyes to be silent, as you look around you to see Tommy with his back to you both going through a cabinet near the door to retrieve another bottle of whiskey,.. the current one he was using had now run out.  
Suddenly you are then forcefully pulled away from looking at the back of Tommy as Michael pushes you towards a nearby cupboard.  
You look at Michael, but his eyes are still looking at the back of Tommy, as he quietly opens the cupboard and shoves you inside it.  
Before you can even give him any kind of look, he slowly and silently closes the cupboard door behind you.  
You then are now crouched inside the dark cupboard, but still able to hear everything from inside of there.  
You silently fret from how worse this was seriously getting.  
" Right,.. Ada and all of the boys are now here,.." you then hear Polly say, as you hear the sound of her high heels enter the room again.  
" Good,.. everyone's here,...lets get started,..." you hear Tommy say, as you hear the sound of him then walk behind his office desk to sit down.


	32. Chapter 32

You close your eyes shut and silently shake your head with despair.....as you can feel your heart beat rapidly inside of your chest.  
Fuck,..fuck,...fuck,....you silently think to yourself.  
Why did you let him talk you into this.  
You knew that this was such a bad idea,..but you just let him get away with what he wanted as you always did.  
And now you were crouched up in a ball inside this cupboard while his whole family were having a meeting out there while you were trapped inside of here.  
Oh god,... how you could kill him right now.  
All this just so his own personal sexual needs and fantasy's could be met.  
This was so awful,... you had left Charlie asleep upstairs by himself.  
What if he wakes up and you are not there.  
This just couldn't get anymore worse.  
You heard Tommy say that this was going to be a long meeting as well.  
Oh god,... Charlie is definitely going to wake up before it ends.  
You felt so sick in your stomach right now that you could cry.  
You then heard the sound of lots of footsteps pile into the room.  
You close your eyes again, as if closing them could suddenly make you just disappear from inside of here and put you safely back up into the nursery, just like magic.  
Your muscles were starting to ache from how cramped you were inside of here, and from the fact that you could not move even slighter without causing a noise.  
Plus it didn't help that your intimate area inbetween your legs felt so very sore and tender as well after just being pounded the way you just had been from the experience you just had being bent over Tommy's desk.  
The desk he was now sitting behind.  
You remembered that time during a drunken conversation one late night with the other girls and wife's, when Lizzie had drunkly said how sick to death she was at constantly being just bent over a desk and fucked like she was a piece of meat by Tommy.  
At the time you were shocked by her blunt outburst, just assuming that she had way too much to drink that evening while she had been mad at Tommy for something,. ... but now you understood her completely.  
You ached like hell afterwards,... all for them just to have their own sexual fulfillment.  
Plus, I bet she was never trapped in a fucking cupboard after it neither.  
You so needed to get out of here and back upstairs to Charlie.  
" Right,... everybody's here" you then heard Tommy suddenly say.  
You heard people shuffling about,.. like they were sitting down on chairs or something.  
" Right,... talk to me" you heard Tommy say again.  
" We got rid of the body Tom,... down in the river,... that bastard should be a couple of towns away before his body ever washes up to ground,... we cleaned him of all of his weapons as well,.... it will just look like some drunk found in a town many miles away from here washed up in the cut" you heard Johnny doggs say.  
Oh my fucking god,... you hold your breath from what you had just heard.  
" Right,...good,..good" you hear Tommy reply.  
" Yeah,.. Moss will sort it out anyway,... just some drunk who fell into the river after a fight after he had one too many,.." you hear Arthur say.  
" And how do we know that this actually sends a message,..." you hear Polly say.  
" It sends a message alright Pol,..." you then heard John say, " Not to fucking come down here and threaten us again.,.. ..or we will cut the lot of them".  
" Do you have any idea who these people are,... what they are capable of..?" you heard Polly reply.  
" I'm meeting with Alfie on Monday,...." you heard Tommy say.  
" Tommy,...." you hear Polly reply.  
" Me, John and Arthur,... and Michael's coming with us as well" Tommy then replied.  
" You what,...." you then heard Polly reply.  
" We need Michael there as the company accountant,... like a financial advisor,.." you heard Tommy reply.  
" This is definitely not legitimate business Tommy,..." you hear Polly say.  
" He needs to be there,..." you heard Tommy reply sternly.  
" Tom,..." you hear Polly say, before he cuts her off.  
" He needs to be there Pol,.. its business" Tommy then replies.  
You then hear the room go silent for a few seconds.  
" And what about me and John,.. what are we there for? " you hear Arthur say.  
" What do you think you are there for,..." you heard Tommy then reply.  
" Isaiah will be with you as well,... for back up with some of the other boys" you then hear Tommy say.  
" This better not get out of hand" you then hear Polly say.  
" It will be all under control,... I have a plan" you hear Tommy say.  
" It better be,..." you then hear Polly reply sharply.  
There was another silence again where you couldn't hear anything.  
" We will be travelling to London on Monday,..... y/n will have to stop here overnight to take care of Charlie,..." you hear Tommy say.  
" I can look after Charlie for the night,... I live here now,.. remember" you then hear Lizzie say.  
" Yeah,.. but you are nearly eight months pregnant Lizzie,... what if something happens,... its best if y/n stays over with you to look after Charlie so you can rest,.." you hear Tommy reply.  
" Rest,...fucking rest,...what I don't need is all this trouble Tommy when I'm about to give birth,.... " you then hear Lizzie say, her voice slightly raised.  
" Look,.. both me and y/n will stop overnight with you,... I will just have to make some excuse to y/n that the boys are on some business trip,...and that's why we're are stopping over with you" you hear Polly say.  
" Well,... technically we are,... " you then hear John scoff.  
" I take it that your still not letting y/n know about your involvement in the other side of the business then Michael,.. " you then hear Tommy say.  
There was then suddenly a very long silence.  
Oh my god,... what was Tommy on about,... about his involvement in the other side of the business,... what was Michael not telling you?  
" Michael,... " you then hear Tommy say,...after what felt like the longest silence.  
" Yeah,.. yeah,... " you hear Michael scoff,.. so quietly that you could of barely made out the words.  
" He doesn't want her to know about things like this, ...ok,... he doesn't want to worry her,... I don't even want him getting involved in stuff like this either" you then hear Polly say.  
" Mom,..." you hear Michael say, again so quiet and softly spoken that you could barely hear him.  
" And I agree,... the least people that know about this the better,.. and y/n, Linda and Esme shouldn't have to know anything about this anyway,... its best that none of them know" you hear Tommy say.  
" But it's alright for me to know,... but not y/n, Linda and Esme" you then hear Lizzie say.  
" That's because y/n, Linda and Esme are not the company's secretary,... you need to know Lizzie,.... as you are a part of this company,... and I am keeping you safe" you then hear Tommy reply.  
" Look Lizzie,... I don't like this anymore than you do either,..." you hear Polly say.  
" Look,... come the weekend,.. it will all be over and done with" you then hear Tommy say, raising his voice.  
The rest of the meeting was then about boring business stuff,....stuff you didn't really understand.  
You heard Ada speaking about stuff with Polly,... then Charlie about shifting some goods,....but none of it made any real relevance.  
You closed your eyes through most of it as you begged for it just to finish, petrified that Charlie was going to awake at any moment upstairs and you were not there.  
Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, you heard people start moving about.  
" Right,... I need a stiff drink,... whose coming down the kitchen boys for some strong whiskey,..." you heard Arthur shout, followed by a lot of shuffling feet.  
You let out the quietest breath of relief, it looked like they were all finally going.  
You then hear many footsteps fading away to the other side of the room, like they were leaving.  
" You coming Michael,..." you then hear Arthur say.  
" Yeah,... yeah,..." you then hear Michael speak.  
" Come on then,...don't hover about" you can hear John then say.  
" Yeah,... alright,... I'm coming" you hear Michael reply again.  
Suddenly there was a long silence again.  
" You coming for a drink Tom,..." you suddenly heard Michael say.  
" I've got to make some phone calls first,...." you then heard Tommy reply.  
Oh fucking hell,... you scream to yourself inside of your head.  
" Oh,... well,... can i just speak to you for a minute first" you then hear Michael say.  
" Yeah,... go on,....." you then hear Tommy reply.  
" Do you want to go outside,... I need a cigarette" you then hear Michael reply.  
" We always smoke inside the house,..." you then hear Tommy reply.  
" Yeah,...but,.. I just need some fresh air,.... I have a headache" you then hear Michael answer.  
You then hear a heavy sigh and some tutting before you hear footsteps make their way extremely close to the cupboard you were in,.. before they then faded away to the other side of the room and then you heard the noise of the door being shut.  
Oh my god,... we're they really all finally gone.  
You left it for a minute or two,... making sure that there was absolutely nothing but pure silence in the room.  
You then opened the door so very slowly,.. .. praying that no one was still in here.  
You carefully looked around you,... thanking god that the room was completely empty.  
You crawled out of there,.. feeling all dusty and dirty,... but it was heaven to be able to stretch your limbs and finally breathe and see daylight again.  
You stood up, stretching your cramped legs and shook the dust away off your dress and arms and legs as ran your fingers through your dishevelled hair.  
Fuck,.... Charlie,.... your head screamed at you.  
You needed to get back up to the nursery straight away.  
You quickly made it over to the door, and very slowly and quietly began to open it,.. trying not to make a sound.  
You just put your head out through the doorway,.. and looked both ways.  
Luckily there was absolutely nobody about.  
You again very slowly and quietly shut Tommy's office door, leaving it exactly how it was, and you darted up the stairs as fast as your legs allowed you too.  
You raced down the hallway and opened the nursery door to find Charlie still there, and fast asleep, blissfully unaware of anything.  
" Oh thank god,..." you whispered to yourself as you let out a massive sigh of relief.  
Charlie had never slept for this long before,... not ever,...giving him such a big lunch after letting him play and run around all morning with his toy trains must of really tired him out,... and you couldn't of been more relieved.  
" I'm so, so sorry,.." you quitely whisper to the sleeping toddler as you softly rubbed his side.  
You had just got so lucky,... but you still felt so guilty about leaving him.  
He relied on you to take care of him,.. and you had really let him down today,... not that he even knew any different.  
" I will never do that again,...not ever,... I promise,.. I'm so so sorry " you softly whispered to him, as the boy started to stir slightly.  
He slowly opened his eyes as he shuffled about, letting out a little yawn as his eyes tried to focus on you.  
He looked at you totally oblivious that he had even been left on his own while he had slept, as he slowly started to awake.  
Suddenly the nursery door swung open and you turned around.  
You looked over to see Michael, his eyes wide and slightly concerned as he looked over at you.  
" Oh my fucking god,..." he began to laugh, as he started walking over towards you.  
You then walked over towards him, to meet him halfway in the middle the room, so you both could be out of Charlie's ear shot.  
" What the actual fuck,..." you whispered to him, but in a raised voiced whisper, so he knew that you were angry at him, but not loud enough for Charlie to hear you swearing.  
" I know,.. I'm so sorry,... I managed to get rid of Tommy out of the room so you could get out of there" he replied, still an amusement in his tone.  
" I was trapped in there for well over an hour,... and I had left Charlie up here all by himself,... what the hell would of happened if he had woken up and I hadn't of been here" you again shout-whisper at him.  
You can tell from the look on his face that he was sensing your increasing anger.  
" He arrived earlier than I thought he was going to,..." he replied, his tone a bit more serious, as his hand went out to touch you, as if to try and calm you down.  
" No,... you got off on the fact that he could of walked in on us at any moment,..and he almost did,... if he had just been five minutes earlier,... I would of been mortified" you reply, still not calming down.  
Michael then looks at you like he is trying to hold back a smirk, as he then let's out an amused laugh.  
" It's not funny, Michael" you reply, your eyes wide and angry at him.  
" I know,...I am sorry" he replies,..but you can tell that he is still trying to hold back his smirk.  
" You weren't the one all cramped and trapped in a cupboard for over an hour,... I've seriously got really bad cramp in my leg,.. it hurts to walk" you reply.  
" I'm sorry,.." he says, as he leans further into you and softly brushes his face against yours, " I'm so sorry,..." he whispers, as he wraps his arms around you.  
You let out a deep breath to calm yourself down,... as you let him rock you in his arms.  
" But you have to admit it,...the whole thing was a bit exciting" he then laughed.  
" That was definitely not exciting,.... maybe it was for you,... but there was definitely nothing exciting about that for me" you reply, your voice stern and serious again as you glare angrily at him.  
Just as you then let go from being in his embrace, you hear a now fully awake Charlie call over for you.  
" Y/N,...." the toddler calls over at you, waving his arms in the air for you to pick him up.  
You then walk away from Michael over to Charlie and pick him up in your arms.  
" I'm here,..." you then say, as you soothe the boy in your arms.  
You then hear Michael heavily sigh behind you.  
" Look,.. no one caught us,...and Charlie's perfectly ok,.... look at him,... he's fine " Michael says, as he walks over to you both and gestures towards the toddler in your arms who was now happily playing with your hair around your shoulders.  
" Your really not going to mention it are you,...? " you then turned and asked him, looking at him with penetrating eyes.  
He paused at you for a second, as you continued to rock Charlie in your arms.  
" What you know I overheard in there,... " you then say, as he continues to just stare back at you with a blank face.  
He still just stares you out, and he then sighs heavily but he still gives you no response.  
" You promised me no more lies,... no more secrets between us both,... you promised that,.." you say, before he cuts you off to finally reply.  
" I was just protecting you,..." he finally replies, his face cold and serious.  
" No,... we said that we would never keep things from each other,... that we were a partnership" you reply back to him.  
" Look,... I didn't want to worry you about things that you don't need to worry about" Michael replied, his face and tone of voice still very stern with you.  
" But the night you proposed to me,.. you promised me that we would never hide stuff from each other" you reply.  
" I know,... I know we did,... but I also promised to protect you,.. and I was just protecting you,... that is my job as your husband,.." he says, before you cut him off.  
" Your not my husband yet,... and your not going to be at this rate if you continue to keep lying to me" you reply.  
It came out of your mouth so harshly,...due to how angry you were at him for keeping secrets from you..  
But the second it left your mouth, Michael looked back at you as if you had just shot him with a dozen bullets,... and you instantly regretted it,... you didn't even mean it,... you were just so angry at what you had just overheard.  
You sigh heavily as you see his face look completely shell-shocked, and you swear you see his eyes well up.  
" Mike,.... you know that I didn't mean that" you suddenly say.  
He just nods his head harshly and clenches his jaw,....as his face then starts to look a mixture of both hurt and anger.  
" Mike please,..." you plead, as you look at Charlie who was still in your arms, " I'm just so angry over what I just heard,... I love you,....of course I want to marry you,... I never want to marry anybody else" you say.  
He nods again, as he gives you just a shrug of his shoulders, still looking hurt.  
" Please,...lets not do this in front of Charlie,.... but you did promise that you would never keep anything from me again" you continue.  
" Like I said,... I was just trying to protect you,... that's what you do when you love someone" he replies through gritted teeth,...as he then turns and goes to walk out of the nursery.  
" Mike,... please" you call after him, but he doesn't stop or even look back as he just walks away from you and leaves the room.  
You heavily sigh as you look down at an oblivious Charlie.  
Oh great,... you sigh to yourself.


	33. Chapter 33

You continued to sigh to yourself as you pondered around the nursery.  
Only you and Michael could start a day off totally fine,.. then be fucking each other during the middle of it, only to then end the day not speaking to each other after another argument.  
You were not even angry anymore about the whole nearly being caught having sex by Tommy and then being hidden away in a cupboard for over an hour afterwards.  
You were just so hurt by the fact that Michael had obviously been getting involved in the other side of the business,... the dangerous side,..and he had been keeping it from you for however long he had been.  
You felt so betrayed,... as he had promised you the night he put a ring on your finger and asked you to marry him that he would never keep or hide anything from you again,...and that you both would always be honest with each other.  
You had kept your side of the promise,.... but he had been keeping this from you,... and you both hadn't even got married yet.  
And the worse of it was that you would never of even of found out about it if it wasn't for the fact that you had been trapped in that cupboard and overhead it all.  
They all knew as well that he wasn't going to tell his soon to be wife that he was getting involved in the dark side of the business,... even Polly knew that he had been keeping it from you.  
You felt like you could no longer trust him,... no longer trust anyone really,... yet that didn't stop you loving him like you did.  
You knew that you had hurt him over what you had just said.  
He was the one that has been keeping secrets from you, yet all of a sudden you were now the bad guy in it all.  
Suddenly the nursery door opened again.  
You were hoping that it was Michael,... coming back up to apologise,... or at least try to make up.  
But it wasn't,... it was Tommy.  
" Hi y/n,.." he said to you, as he went over and picked up his son in his arms.  
Charlie smiled at seeing his father, and you also managed to give Tommy a smile like nothing was wrong.  
" Hi,.." you smiled, trying to act as normal as possible.  
" Look,... I need to ask you a favour,...?" Tommy started to say,.. and you knew what was coming... as you pretended that you didn't.  
" I'm going on a business trip on Monday to London,... Michael's coming as well,.... as well as John and Arthur,... and I need you to stop overnight to look after Charlie,... especially with Lizzie getting nearer to her due date" Tommy then continued.  
" Yeah thats fine,..." you nod and smile at him.  
" Thanks,... thanks y/n" he then nods and smiles at you.  
He then takes Charlie out of the room with him, leaving you to get ready to go home.  
You then make your way down the stairs, hoping to see Michael as all of the rest of the family are still here.  
As you reach the downstairs, you notice Polly in the hallway having a cigarette.  
" Is Michael still here,...?" you ask her.  
" He is down in the kitchen,.. drinking with all of the other guys" Polly replies to you.  
" Oh right,..." you half smile,... assuming he is most likely to be drunk by now then.  
" They are all going on some business trip to London on Monday,... I don't know if Tommy has asked you yet to stop over to look after Charlie," Polly asks you.  
" Yeah,... yeah he has" you manage to smile back.  
" I'll stop over with you both as well if you like,....to help keep Lizzie company,... kind of like a girly night in,.. crack open some wine" Polly smiles.  
" Yeah,... sounds great" you smile back.  
She continues to smoke her cigarette,... you want to be angry at her,... as she knows he has been keeping secrets from you,... but she also seems lost in thought herself,... almost troubled.  
" We can discuss wedding preparations as well if you like,....." you smile at her,..... knowing how excited she was for your and Michael's wedding.  
She then gives you a warm smile back.  
" Come on,... let's have a drink,....Ada and Lizzie are around here somewhere,....as you won't see the boys again for another few hours" she smiles.  
You both then go and find Ada and Lizzie, and you have a drink with them, although your mind is rather preoccupied elsewhere after your argument with Michael,.... hoping he won't be too annoyed with you when you see him again.  
Finally, a few hours later, the boys finally stagger past the four of you,... most of them pretty drunk.  
" For fucks sake,...." you hear Lizzie scoff under her breath.  
You glance over at Michael, he looks like he has had a few too many,.. but he's not as drunk as John and Arthur.  
You look over at him and smile,.. but he just stares back at you coldly and then looks away.  
" You still stopping over at ours tonight...?" Polly then turns and asks you.  
It was your usual night to stop over, and you didn't want to leave it how it currently was with Michael.  
" Yeah,..." you nodded, as you and Polly then got up to leave.  
" Although,... I better drive" Polly said, gesturing over at Michael.  
You then said goodbye to Ada and Lizzie as you got into the car.  
The car journey was pretty awkward,... with no one really speaking.  
As the three of you got inside, Michael slouches himself down on the sofa from his high alcohol intake as Polly goes into the kitchen and begins to make dinner.  
You decide to go over and sit beside him on the sofa.  
" I know your angry at me" you say to him, and from sitting so close to him you can smell the whiskey on his breath,.." but I am so sorry" you sigh.  
He just looks down, his face still tense and he completely ingore's you.  
" You know I never meant it,.... you know how much I love you" you continue, as you lean in closer to him and rest your chin against his shoulder, " you know that all I want to be is your wife" you softly say.  
He just shrugs to remove your face from his shoulder,... and you sigh in annoyance at his attitude towards you.  
After all,.. it was him that was in the wrong here.  
" Please Mike,.... this isn't fair,... stop sulking and be an adult about this, ....it is you who has been keeping secrets from me,....after you promised me that you would never keep stuff from me again" you reply, your voice a bit more assertive this time.  
" I told you,.. I was just trying to protect you.,.. I was trying not to worry you" he finally replies, but with an attitude to his voice.  
" But I don't want stuff like this to be kept hidden from me,... I want to be able to trust you and trust that you don't hide stuff from me" you reply.  
" Your blowing this way out of proportion" he replies.  
You stare back at him,... his tone making you angry again.  
" Michael,... my biggest fear is something bad happening to you,... it terrifies me everday that something awful could happen to you one day,...and now that I know that you are getting involved in the other side of the business" you say,  
" I don't want to lose you Michael,... your the love of my life" you say, as your voice fills up with emotion.  
He finally turns and looks at you, his eyes boring into your face.  
" Tommy said that it was best not to tell you whenever I get involved in the other aspects of the business,... as it would only worry you,... I was trying to protect you" he sighs.  
" Yes it does worry me,.... because I'm so terrified of losing you,.... I don't want you getting involved in the other side of the business,.... please Michael,... it scares me,... I want to marry you,... not bury you,... I couldn't live if anything was to happen to you,... I love you so much, " you plead.  
You watch his face then soften, as he rests his one hand on top of yours.  
" I love you too,.... you will never know how much" he replies, the smallest of smiles finding its way on his lips.  
You smile back at his words, as you lean in close to him.  
" I don't want you to go on Monday,..." you then whisper to him.  
Suddenly his demeanour then changes again, and he tenses back up again.  
" I have got too,...I have promised Tommy,... I can't let him down" he replies sternly and rather coldly.  
" And,... what about me,..?" you then ask him, your face pleading with him.  
" Nothing will happen,... Tommy has got it sorted,... its just business y/n" he replies, his face vacant.  
" But what if one day Tommy fucks up,... I won't bury you Michael,... I can't" you reply, your eyes penetrating his angrily.  
" Your overreacting,....your just like my mother at times" he replies, his attitude returning.  
" It's because we love you Michael,....and your prepared to break our hearts" you reply, as you then get up from the sofa in a temper, and you then head upstairs to the bathroom, knowing to well that you are about to cry.  
You let your tears fall freely once you are up there, as you dry your red eyes with tissue paper.  
You couldn't believe how selfish he was being.  
Still hiding things from you,... putting you under this stress and worry,... just because he wanted to be like Tommy and his cousins.  
He hadn't even come upstairs after you to check on you and see if you were alright.  
You head back downstairs after you finally stopped crying, to see Michael now sitting down at the dining table drinking more whiskey and Polly serving up dinner.  
" I was just about to shout up there to you,... dinner is ready" she says to you.  
You give her a weak smile as you go over and sit next to Michael at the table.  
He doesn't even adknowledge you as you sit down beside him, as he continues to drink and you have to try and make light hearted conversation with Polly,... even discussing wedding plans like everything was ok over dinner.  
Finally you both head up to bed as you take off your dress and put your night dress on and get into the bed and underneath the covers.  
You watch him remove his shirt and lower clothing as he gets into the bed with you.  
" Are you ready to talk again..?" you ask him, but he just rolls over in bed and gives you his back.  
" I take that as a no then,.." you sarcastically say outloud as you snuggle down next to him.  
" And to think just a few hours ago you said that you weren't finished with me yet,... that you still had more plans for me tonight,.." you sarcastically scoff.  
The room then goes completely silent for a few moments, before you feel him turn slightly.  
" What,... you want to have sex? " he suddenly asks.  
" Are you serious,...? " you scoff back.  
The room then goes silent again for a while, and after a bit you wonder if he has fallen to sleep.  
" I hate us falling out,..." you softly whisper to yourself.  
" Me too,..." you suddenly hear him whisper back.  
You smile to yourself as you then turn over and wrap your arms around his back.  
" Please don't leave me to live in this world without you,... I love you" you say, as you plant small kisses on his back.  
" I love you too,..." he replies.  
And the room goes silent again,.. and all you can hear is each others breathing.  
" And you do know that I can't wait to marry you,..." he suddenly says again.  
You smile again to yourself as you lie there behind him.  
" I can't wait to marry you too,.." you whisper back.  
And then again,.. there was nothing but silence, as you then snuggled up around his back and wrapped your arms around him.  
However, deep down you knew that he wasn't going to change his mind about this whole being involved in the other side of the business.  
He wanted to prove himself to Tommy and the others way too much.  
And he just was not going to listen to you and Polly,... however much you told him how scared and upset it made you.  
You were just going to have to find another way for him to listen to you.


	34. Chapter 34

" Just every part of my body aches" Lizzie moaned, as she lay across the sofa with her legs raised up, drinking from a glass of lemonade, " my boobs ache,.. my legs ache,...even my ankles ache,..." she continued, shaking her head with despair.  
" I remember it all so well,...like it was only yesterday,...the constant needing the toliet,... the constant tiredness,... the not sleeping at night from being so hot and uncomfortable," Polly smiled back at her, " but all this pain will be worth it in the end,.. when your finally holding her in your arms, " Polly continued.  
You looked over at Polly, and you then saw her smile slowly fade away from her face, as her brown eyes then stared blankly into thin air, as if she was now lost in deep thought.  
You bite down on your lip, as you watch her get lost in her own thoughts, knowing all too well that she was thinking about her own daughter.  
The little girl that was cruelly took away from her along with Michael as a small child, who sadly died of spring fever before she was ever able to find her again and bring her back home.  
You notice Lizzie also realise Polly's sudden silence, as both you and Lizzie exchange a concerned glance between each other, as if she also knew where Polly's head was currently at.  
" Are you certain that its a girl Pol,..?" Lizzie then asked, pulling Polly away from her thoughts.  
" Oh yes,... its a girl alright,... I've seen her,... she is going to be beautiful,.. with long dark hair,... she is going to look like a film star" Polly smiled back.  
" I want to call her Ruby,... if it is definitely a girl" Lizzie replied, with an excited smile across her face.  
" Awww,... that's such a beautiful name" you smile back.  
" Ruby is apparently the gemstone of love and passion" Lizzie smiled, as she put her hand on her bulging stomach.  
" I take it we're referring to her conception,.." Polly replied, raising her eyebrow.  
" Passion maybe,..." Lizzie scoffed back.  
" Tommy loves you,..." you softly reply.  
" Huh,... I sometimes wonder" Lizzie sighed.  
" He has always had a soft spot for you Lizzie" Polly replied.  
" Yeah,... a soft spot isn't exactly love" Lizzie retorted.  
" He thinks a lot of you Lizzie,.." Polly replied.  
" Are you trying to make me feel better...?" Lizzie replied back to her.  
" He does,... he said it was you who stopped his heart from breaking after Grace died,....." Polly replied.  
" Yeah but still,... I feel like I will always be second best,... to her" Lizzie sighed.  
You frowned over at Lizzie as she admitted her inner insecurity to both you and Polly, as the three of you sat around the living room, and you all had now stopped up well past midnight just chatting about things.  
" I just feel that deep down he will always love her" Lizzie then continued.  
You had never met Grace,.. she had died just before you met the family, so you felt like it wasn't your place to comment on someone who you never knew.  
Although you knew that Polly was never that keen on her,.. nor trusting of her,.. never forgiving her for the way she had initially met Tommy, as an uncover agent for the police, even if she insisted afterwards that she fell in love with him for real too.  
" I never trusted her,... right up to the day she died,...she was always a weakness to Tommy,...where you are more like a strength,... and you are way more suited to him" Polly then replied to Lizzie.  
" Sometimes I can't believe how things have turned out,... I always thought that I would end up with John" Lizzie laughed.  
" Yes,... I heard that you and John were once engaged" you replied.  
" Hard to believe it now,...isn't it,.....but there was a time just before he married Esme where me and him almost got married,....I use to help him out with looking after the kids after his first wife Martha died and then things between us,..... developed,... but Tommy didn't approve of it" Lizzie frowned  
" and now here I am,... ended up living with Tommy in this house and having his child".  
" Tommy does love you Lizzie,.... its just,... in his own way,.. that's how Thomas has always been" Polly replied, taking a sip of the glass of wine she was holding.  
Suddenly there was a pause in conversation, as you then took a sip of your own wine, and you suddenly felt two hands softly touch your shoulders and give them a gentle squeeze.  
" It will be your turn soon,.." you then heard Lizzie giggle.  
" My turn,...?" you asked with a laugh.  
" Having a baby,... " she smiled, as she patted her stomach softly.  
You blushed under her gaze, as you took another sip of your wine.  
" I'm sure you and Michael will be hoping to start a family as soon as you both get married,...I mean,... isn't that what the honeymoon period is all about,... baby making..? " Lizzie smiled at you with a playful raised eyebrow, as you then see her smile over at Polly.  
You feel yourself go even redder at her comment as you let out an embarrassed laugh.  
" Yeah,... I suppose,...... to be honest,... we haven't really talked about it that much,... but yeah,.. hopefully one day" you half smile back.  
You then notice Polly looking over at you intently through the corner of your eye.  
" Oh and you'll know about it when it happens, ,.. believe you me,... the painful boobs,... the painful feet,... the painful fucking everything" Lizzie sighed,  
" why is it that the men only have to participate in the fun part of the conception,.... and us women have to endure all of the other fucking hard parts,... the nine month pregnancy,... the labour" Lizzie scoffed.  
" Because God knew that a man could never of coped with it all,..." Polly answered back.  
You and Lizzie then giggled back in response.  
" I just can't wait for it all to be over,..." you then heard Lizzie reply, as the room then fell silent.  
You knew she meant the pregnancy,.. but all three of you knew that it was also about all this trouble going on at the moment as well.  
Although you knew that both Polly and Lizzie didn't know that you knew anything about it.  
You were just here to help a heavily pregnant Lizzie watch over Charlie while Tommy was away on business with the other boys.  
That's what they assumed you believed.  
Lizzie then let out a heavy yawn.  
" I'm so tired,... I feel like I could sleep for a decade" Lizzie yawned.  
" Get enough sleep while you can,... you won't get another decent night sleep for about a decade once the baby is born" Polly chuckled.  
Lizzie smiled as she rested her head back and closed her eyes. 

Soon enough, Lizzie had fallen fast asleep, as you could hear the rhythmatic noise of her breathing, and Polly had come over and sat closer to you.  
" Can I ask you a question?" she suddenly said, getting closer towards you as Lizzie slept peacefully.  
" Yeah,... sure" you smile at Pol.  
" You seem worried about something,... you have been like it for the last few days now,... its nothing to do with Michael and you is it...?" she asked, her eyes staring deeply in your face.  
" No,... no,.." you shake your head.  
She looks at you deeply again, as if she knew that you were lying to her.  
" What,...? " you try to laugh off.  
" And that comment Lizzie made earlier about you and Michael having children after you both get married,... you seemed so distant about it,... I thought you both wanted children,..you are a nanny after all,.. and I've seen the love you have for Charlie,... " Polly asked curiously.  
" I do,... we do,... its just,...." you stop through mid sentence, not knowing how to respond.  
" Just what,... are you having second thoughts,..? " she then asked you.  
" Oh,..god,... NO,.... NO,....god no,.... not at all" you laughed, but in a sternly way.  
" Well,... what is it then,...?" she asked again, and you could see the look of great concern on her face,. " I mean,.. you can't get two people more in love than you and Michael,... and I sure as hell knows how much he loves you" she continues.  
You smile back at her at her comment.  
" I love him too,... more than you could ever know,... its just,..." you say,... biting down on your lip.  
" just ,...." she repeats, as you look back up at her.  
" y/n,.... what is it,...? " she asks you,...her dark eyes staring you out.  
You pause, and ponder slightly, not knowing how much to tell her.  
" I know there is something,...?" she pleaded.  
You pause again, and continue to stare back at her.  
" I know,... " you finally reply, in a quiet tone.  
She just stares back at you blankly.  
" What they are really up to in London,... and that Michael has been getting involved in the other side of the business,... for however long for " you continue, your face downcast.  
" Oh,... oh" she replies, her face showing you how shocked she really was by your knowledge of that.  
" Michael told you,...?" she then questioned you.  
" No,... no,..." you reply, shaking your head, " that's the worst of it,.. I only found out recently,.. and by accident, .... or else I still wouldn't even know " you continued.  
" Oh right,... how did you find out....?" she asked you.  
You look back at her, and then looked down shaking your head.  
" I'd rather not say,.... its really rather embrassing " you reply.  
She continued to stare at you, as if that wasn't a good enough reason, as she raised her eyebrows.  
" Go on,... you know that you can tell me" she smiled.  
" No seriously,... it really is too embarrassing" you say, looking down again.  
You hear her let out a heavy sigh,.. as she continued to glare at you with her penetrating eyes.  
" It's not something you exactly tell people,...let alone your mother in law" you say, with a laugh.  
" Well,... hopefully I'm not like your average mother in law" she smiled back.  
" No,... your not" you smile back laughing.  
" Well,... go on then,... you know you can tell me y/n,.... I won't tell anyone if that's what's worrying you" Polly replied.  
" I wouldn't even be able to look at you in the eyes again if I did tell you,..." you laugh, and you notice her looking at you even more curiously, like she wasn't letting it go.  
You look behind you, and saw that Lizzie was still fast asleep, as you let out a deep breath.  
" Seriously,.... you can never tell anyone,... not even Michael that I told you,..after all,... you are his mom" you finally say.  
She nods at you, her eyes wide, as she looks kind of worried at you.  
" I remember feeling that everything was just so perfect,... I was floating on air after he proposed,.. I felt like the luckiest woman alive" you smile to her, and she smiles widely back at you, " and then that day when you all had that meeting last week at Tommy's,... and Michael got there a bit earlier to see me,...and he,.... erm,... well he,...erm,.. " you started to stutter.  
She notices you hesitation,....as she widens her eyes for you to continue.  
" Well,...erm,..." you nervously laugh, looking down at the floor with embarrassment to avoid her eye contact, " he was joking around about,....erm,....he always use to joke that it was his,... erm,... fantasy,... to,....erm,...." you pause, as you could feel your cheeks burn, " to do it on Tommy's desk", you finally blurt out.  
Polly looks back at you wide eyed for a second,.. rather shocked, until you notice her bite down on her lip, like she was trying to hide back a smirk at your obvious embarrassment.  
" And of course,... I was like,.. don't be so stupid,...we can't,... but he,... erm,... well,...he was just,...erm,...so,... ... so up for it,... and I just wanted to make him happy,...so,..." you continue to stutter, your face getting even more redder.  
You look over at her coyly,...and you see her unable to keep the smirk off her face, as she brings a hand to her mouth as if to stop herself from laughing.  
" You fucked over Tommy's desk,... " she blurts out, very bluntly.  
" Well,....you don't have to say it like that,." you quietly reply.  
She then let's out a string of giggles, as if she was extremely amused by your confession.  
" Oh my god,.... thats so funny,.... if only he knew" she continued to laugh.  
" No,... no,..." you say, shaking your head, mortified, as you look over at a sleeping Lizzie, " No one can ever know,... not ever".  
" That's the funniest thing I have heard in ages,..." she continues to laugh.  
" Please don't tell anyone,.." you beg.  
" Don't be daft,... of course I won't tell anyone that,..." she smirks,.." anyway,.. I still don't understand what that has to do with you finding out about Michael's involvement with the other side of the business" she continues.  
" Well,.. erm,.. just right after we,... erm,... you know,... finished" you say, as she smirks again at the embarrassed look on your face, " Tommy suddenly came back before I could get out of there,.... so Michael quickly made me hide in one of the cupboards in his office so he didn't find me in there,..." you continue.  
She looks at you puzzled, as she stares at you to explain more.  
" So Tommy walked in while I was still trapped in there,... and then I heard you come in,... and I couldn't get out of there before the rest of you all came in and had that entire meeting."  
Her eyes then widened largely, and her face changed its expression, as if she was making sense of what had took place.  
" Oh,... oh,... " she replied, her face lost in thought," so you heard the whole thing then,...? " she then asked you.  
" Every word,... from the inside of a cupboard" you nod at her, with a pitiful half smile.  
" Oh god,..." she says, " you know,... I thought that Michael was acting really weirdly in that meeting," she replies.  
" Well, now you know,... and no one else other than Michael knows that I know,.." you say.  
" So I take it you heard,... you heard that I knew that he had been keeping it from you? " she asks you, her voice now in a softer tone.  
You look back at her for a second or two, before nodding your head at her, and she let's out a heavy sigh.  
" You must be so angry at me,...for not telling you ?" she asks.  
" I was at first,... but I've calmed down since,... and I do know that you don't like it any more than I do,.. so,.." you reply, shrugging your shoulders and looking down at your glass of wine.  
" I did tell him to tell you,... but he insisted you weren't to know,... that he was protecting you... and I ordered him not to get involved,..but he just won't listen to me,... however much I have begged him,...." she replies.  
" Tell me about it,... I've tried too,.. but it just falls on deaf ears,... I mean,... he insists that he loves me,. but,.."  
" He does love you,..." she jumps in mid way through your sentence.  
" Then why won't he listen to me either,... I've begged him not to,... for me,... for us,... I've pleaded with him,.. told him repeatedly how terrified I am of losing him,.. " you begin, before you suddenly start to cry.  
" Oh y/n,..." she sighs, as she notices your tears.  
" That's why,... why I can't get excited,...about the thought of getting married,...or starting a family,... because in the back of my mind,... I keep thinking he is going to die before we even make it up the aisle,..." you sob, as the tears fall freely down your face.  
Polly leans in closer, and holds you in her arms,..as you start to cry harder.  
You then feel her kiss the top of your head,.. as you sob into her embrace.  
" I'm just so scared that he is going to die,... " you weep.  
" Me too,.... it scares me too" you hear breathe into you.  
" I should be so excited about the thought of our wedding day,.. of the thought of having our first child like Lizzie says,.. but I can't be ,... because there's just this horrible feeling in my gut constantly that keeps telling me that it will never happen,... that I will lose him,... and I couldn't bear it Pol,.. I'd rather die,.." you cry.  
You feel her stroke your hair,.. as she then rests her head against yours as you cry your heart out. 

You cry against her for a while, trying to be quieter, so you didn't wake up Lizzie.  
" You know,.. I can remember the first day I met you,.. " Polly suddenly says to you.  
You then sniffle, as you finally let a smile develop on your lips.  
" My interview,... with you and Tommy" you chuckle between sobs.  
" I remember when you first walked through the door,...you looked so nervous and terrified" she softly laughed.  
" I was,... I was so nervous,.. it was my first ever interview,... and it was with a gangster" you smiled, as you both then laughed.  
" Not many people can say that" she smiled, as she softly rubbed your back.  
" I guess not,..." you laughed between sobs.  
" I remember thinking how beautiful you were,... that you had the most beautiful y/e/c eyes as well as the most beautiful smile,..." Polly says.  
" You,...you did,.." you reply,... sounding unconvinced.  
" Yes,... but the funniest thing of it was,... it was me that was unconvinced about hiring you,... I remember thinking that you were just way too young for the job" she then told you, " too young and way too nervous" she laughs.  
" You did,..." you laughed back.  
" It was Tommy that wanted you,... he just took a instant liking to you,... he trusted you" she smiled.  
" Seriously,.." you laugh through sniffles.  
" It's so funny thinking about it now,... to think that I had no idea that you would end up being my future daughter in law" she smiled.  
" I know,..." you smiled back.  
" I remember when Michael first saw you,.. I saw it in his eyes,... him falling head over heels for you" she chuckled.  
" You know,... I remember thinking that you didn't like me at first" you then laughed.  
" You did,... I always liked you,... I thought you were such a sweet girl,.... but I could also see the effect you were having on my son whenever you were around him,..... I had never seen him that way about anyone before" she replied.  
" Really,...?" you reply, looking up at her.  
" And I could tell that you really liked him too,... and what a lovely girl you were,... the kind of girl that you would want your only son to marry" she smiled, " well,... this was way back before I knew that you were capable of fucking over Tommy's desk" she laughed.  
" Stop it,... please,..." you laugh back,.. " it was only the once,...and never again,... trust me" you giggle.  
" But you make him so happy y/n,...I watch the way he looks at you,.. and I am so thankful that you came to us that day for that interview,...and you are now apart of our family,.. because my son has found love,.. and happiness" Polly smiles.  
You smile back at her, before you then sigh heavily.  
" But I'm not enough,...not enough to make him not get involved in that side of the business,..." you then sniffle.  
" I don't believe that,...he has told me himself how much he loves you,... that your the only woman he ever wants,...he worships you y/n " she replies.  
" So why wont he just listen to me,. ..even when I have told him my feelings and my fears,....I have literally cried and begged him not too,...but still,... he does it,.. even when he knows its breaking my heart" you ask her.  
She pauses, and then she just sighs to herself as she stares at you, like she is thinking about something.  
" You know,.. me and you sweetheart,.. we have to play this one cleverly,... like only women can" she replies.  
" What,... what do you mean?" you reply.  
" I know that the worst thing that could happen to him would be not being able to have you,.." she tells you.  
" I don't understand,...I can't pretend to leave him,.. I love him too much" you reply with a frown.  
" No,... no,.. I mean,.... he loves you more than anything,....I know that,... so what would bother him the most? " she replies.  
You look at her blankly, and she shakes her head at your vacantness.  
" What is a woman's most powerful weapon,..? " she asks you.  
You still look at her blankly, not understanding her at all.  
She shakes her head at you again,.. as she then gives you a smirk, as she then lowers her eyes towards the area in between your legs.  
" Men think that they run the world,... but there is one thing that makes all of them weak" she smirks, sipping fron her wine.  
" Sex,..." you finally say, as you slightly laugh at her.  
" What would get to him the most,... make him beg,.. do anything for ...?" she then asks you.  
" Sex,..." you repeat again with a laugh, realising she is completely serious.  
" I have been on this earth a lot longer than you,.. and I know,... that with that,..." she then points towards your intimate area again, " women can rule anything that has a penis between its legs" she laughs with a wink.  
" I,... I still don't understand" you laugh.  
" What would really hurt him the most,...,?" she asks.  
You shake your head at her, like you were still confused.  
" It would be not being able to have you" she replies.  
You stare back at her, intrigued by her trail of thought.  
" Make him go crazy by not being able to have you,... and finally,... when he can't take it anymore,... when you have tortured him enough,... compromise,... but not before you show him exactly who is the boss first,... who really has the power in your relationship" she replies.  
" Michael is definitely the boss out of the two of us,... he likes to be the one in charge," you laugh, " he has always been the one in charge".  
" That's because you have always let him be,... I'm trying to help us here,...we both need to take back control of this,... we want him to stay out of danger don't we,... to not get himself killed,... for us" she replies to you, more sternly this time.  
" Of course,..." you nod back seriously.  
" Well,.. only you can do this,.." she replies, " So,...are you up to the challenge or not,...?" 


	35. Chapter 35

You smiled down at your new purchases from the retail stores.  
Polly was right, you needed to change, become more stronger and more assertive, if you were going to marry into this family, and live this kind of life.  
Deep down, you would always be you,.. soft,. gentle,.. kind,.. sensitive,.. but you were now going to have to harden up,... and fast.  
You knew deep down that Michael did love you,.. but it was looking more than likely that he was going to walk all over you throughout your marriage, unless you changed things now.  
And show him that you too could also be powerful,... and in charge.  
You wondered how he would react,.. as you bit down on your lip.  
You should also stop doing that as well, you told yourself, as it only showed your nerves and vulnerability in a situation.  
You looked in the mirror and admired your new hair and make up that you just had done, it was sultry and sexy looking, as we're your new items of clothing.  
You then put them away, for when they would be needed, as you got into your bubble bath after a long day shopping with Polly.  
The boys still hadn't returned back from London yet,.. you had been secretly a wreck for days, your stomach unable to digest anything as you constantly feared the worst, until Polly had told you that she had recieved a phone call from Tommy, telling her that everything was now ok.  
The business was all done and completed in London and everyone was fine and they would all be home soon.  
Although Michael himself had not even called you once over the past few days he had been away.  
He had called his mom at home,.....but he had just told her to let you know that everything was fine.  
But he had never bothered to call you personally,.. not even once, even though you knew that Arthur had phoned Linda everyday since they had been gone.  
That bothered you,... that he couldn't even be bothered to pick up the phone to his own future wife,.. even though you tried convincing yourself that he was probably just trying to avoid another argument,.. as you both had not been on the best of terms when he left for London that morning,... with you begging him not to go,.. before he just coldly walked out of the door to meet Tommy and the rest of his cousins.  
Polly was right,....you needed to take back control.  
You washed your hair and then shaved yourself in the bath, and then after you dried yourself off, you then painted your finger nails and toe nails and sprayed yourself with perfume.  
You wanted to look your best for when he came home,... although you and Polly had part one of that already planned.  
He was due back this evening, and he was going straight to his mom's for dinner, and he would be expecting you to be there, as you always were after he had been away on business.  
Although you weren't going to be.  
It was going to kill you not to be though, as you were longing to see him so much, but as Polly said, it would all be worth it in the end. 

The next morning as you got up for work, you admired your new hair,.. beautiful and shimmering new highlights styled in full and voluptuous waves.  
You did feel more gorgeous, as you did your make up more sexier, and put on a much more curvaceous dress with a bit more sex appeal,.. probably not what your average nanny would usually wear,.. nothing like your usual feminine and cute floral kind of dresses,... it was definitely a lot more sultrier in style.  
And when you got to work, Lizzie came in for a chat in nursery.  
" Wow,... your looking very gorgeous today,.." she smiled at you admirably.  
" I am,...?" you replied questionably,...acting unaware in your change of appearance.  
" Yeah,....now your making me feel so frumpy" she frowned.  
" Don't be a daft,.. you look radiant and glowing" you complimented your pregnant friend.  
" Your what you call looking radiant,... I take it you saw Michael last night...?" she asked you with a smirk.  
" Erm,...no,...no,...I was busy last night actually " you then replied.  
" Oh right,... its just that all of the boys came home last night,... and I thought you would of been dying to see him after a week away from each other " she smiled.  
" Yeah,.. but I'll probably see him tonight " you smiled back. 

Later on in the day, Polly came over to speak to Tommy, and came up to the nursery to find you.  
" Hello Charlie" she smiled down at the toddler, who was playing with his train set on the floor and she gave the boy a loving kiss, before she made her way over to you.  
" Hi Pol,.." you smiled, " how is he,..?" you then asked her about Michael.  
" He's completely fine,..." she replied, and you let out a huge sigh of relief.  
" But he was definitely very shocked that you weren't there when he came home last night" she then smirked at you.  
" What did he say,...?" you asked her.  
" He just asked where you were,... why you weren't there,... and then asked me where you were instead,.... I told him that you were busy seeing your friend,.. he seemed taken aback and annoyed" she replied.  
" Right,... right" you reply, as you look down at the floor, and you see Polly noticing the worried look on your face.  
" Don't you start feeling guilty,... remember what we said" she pointed at you.  
" I know.,.. I know,... so are we still on for tonight,...?" you then asked her.  
" Definitely,... I'll come and pick you up after work,.. we will make it back before he gets home,.. and remember what we said,.." she said to you, with a wink.  
You then nodded back to her with a knowing smile.

Later on, Polly come back and picked you up after work, and as soon as you got to their house, you quickly re touched your make up in the bathroom, you wanted to look as amazing as possible for when you saw Michael again.  
You then sat down on the sofa with a glass of wine with Polly, as you suddenly heard his key turning through the door.  
He walked through the door, and took off his work jacket, hanging it up on the peg as he placed his work briefcase on the side.  
He then turned and glanced over at you, sitting down on the sofa drinking wine and chatting with his mom.  
You watched him huff slightly before clenching his jaw, as he put his hands in his pockets and walked over to you both.  
" Oh,.... hello," he says directly over to you, sarcasm heavily included within his tone of voice.  
" Hi sweetheart,..." you reply, your face smiling as if you either just ignored or was totally obvlious to his sarcastic tone of voice.  
" So, you made it over here today then ? " he then asks you sarcastically, making his way over to sit opposite you both in an armchair, his eyes staring deeply at you, and you saw his annoyance within them.  
" Yeah,.. of course I've come over tonight,..." you smile back, acting as if nothing was wrong.  
" Oh,... right" he replies, shaking his head as he lets out another annoyed huff.  
" Why,.....what ever is a matter..?" you then ask him, curiously.  
He glares at you deeply, as he then looks over at his mom sitting beside you, before looking back over at you and letting out a long and heavy sigh, before he looks down at the arm of the chair he was sitting on.  
" No,... nothing is a matter" he replies, his eyes fixed on the arm of the chair as he softly shakes his head at your question.  
" Did you have a good day at work,..?" Polly then asks him, as she stands up from the sofa to go into the kitchen to serve up the dinner.  
" Yeah,.. fine,...although I am up to my eyeballs with paperwork from being away from the office for over a week,.. so I have so much I need to catch up with" he replies, softly tapping the arm of the armchair, as he then glares over at you, and you notice his eyes start scanning all over your body.  
" I'm sure you will get it all done,... you'll just have to put in a few more extra hours at the office" you heard Polly reply, as she then disappeared into the kitchen.  
He grunted slightly as he nodded his head in agreement, as his eyes then returned back to you, tracing their way all over your body again.  
" Where were you yesterday,.. when I got back from London? " he then asked you, his eyes finally returning to your face.  
" Oh I was with Maggie,.." you replied, as if it was nothing.  
" Oh right,.." he scoffed, sarcasm in his voice again as you saw him raise his eyebrows.  
" We are part of this book club now,.. its ever so interesting,....every month you have to read the same book as everyone else and you all meet up at the end of the month to discuss it with all of the other women there," you explain to him, sipping from your wine.  
" Oh right,..." he rolls his eyes, looking completely not interested at all and still rather annoyed as he shakes his head again, " so that's where you were then,... " he continued, his eyes then boring into you.  
" Well,.. we were there at the start of the evening,.... and then we went out for drinks with some of the girls after it finished,.... they are all ever so lovely" you replied.  
" Right,..." he scoffed, raising his eyebrows again.  
Suddenly there was an awkward silence between the two of you, with him staring into the fireplace, his jaw clenched like it always did when he was angry about something.  
" You look,.... different" he finally spoke again, looking back over at you, his eyes looking all over your body again.  
" Huh,...?" you replied, looking confused.  
" You look different,....your dress,....it's new,... and its very,..." he replied, like he couldn't find the right words.  
" Very what,..." you replied, looking back at him.  
" You know,... its just,... very sexy,..." he finally replied.  
" Sexy,...?" you replied, with a laugh.  
" I mean,... you look nice,... really nice,... it's just very sexy,...that's all,.. did you wear that when you went into work today,..? " he then asks you.  
" Yes,... why?" you replied, looking confused.  
" There's other men that work in Tommy's house, you know,... like the chefs and that,... " Michael replied in an unenthusiastic way, with his face scowling at you unimpressed.  
" Why would I see the chefs in the cooking area,... I'm the nanny,... I'm either in the nursery or playing outside" you reply with a laugh.  
" But they go outside to smoke,.. plus you are always in other parts of the house,... you can be down in the house kitchen sometimes with Charlie,... making something to eat or drink for him" he retorted back.  
" Oh my god,... are you getting jealous? " you reply with a soft laugh.  
" No,.. of course not" he replied back, quickly and sharply, like he was annoyed by your comment.  
" Ok,... Ok,.. you just sounded bothered,..thats all" you reply.  
" Well I'm not,.... I just don't like the idea of other men looking at your body like that, that's all... your mine" he scoffed.  
" I'm yours,...am I ?" you reply, raising your eyebrow.  
"You know what I mean,... you are going to be my wife very soon,.... if you even remember" he replied, as he suddenly just got up and poured himself a glass of whiskey, as if he was getting more annoyed by the conversation.  
You couldn't help but smile to yourself as he had his back to you and he poured himself a stiff drink,... your and Polly's plan had only just started and it seemed to be working like a treat,... but you couldn't help but find him incredibly sexy when he was angry, annoyed or jealous.  
" I still can't believe you weren't here for when I got back yesterday" he suddenly said out loud, his voice now much more quieter and subdued, as he still had his back to you, and he was looking deep into the flames in the fireplace.  
Ok,.. now you were starting to feel a bit guilty,... really guilty actually,... as you hated hurting him.  
But he hurt you so many times last week,... and you suddenly tried to shake yourself from the guilt,...like Polly had told you too.  
He needed to be taught a lesson for not listening to either you or Pol.  
So you got up, and walked over to him, .. as you wrapped your arms around his waist as he continued to have his back to you, looking into the fireplace with a drink of whiskey in his hands.  
" Maybe,.. I brought this dress just for you,...and for you only,....or perhaps I didn't,....." you breathed heavily into his ear, giggling slightly as you wrapped your arms around his waist and rubbed yourself up against him.  
You felt his body stiffen and tense up from your touch, as your one hand then lowered down to the area in between his legs, as you softly began to rub his crotch area through his clothes, feeling his breathing quicken instantly as you did.  
" But if you don't like it,... I can always just take it off,.. right here and now if you like" you then seductively breathed into his ear.  
Your last comment makes him spin around, and he turned to face you looking quite shocked.  
" My mom is right through there,.." he replied back at you in a shocked tone.  
" I'm just playing with you" you laughed back,... and his eyes widened at how blatant you were being,... as your hand then suddenly went back to the area in between his legs again, as you cupped him within the palm of your hand again and gave him a soft squeeze.  
His eyes grew even wider as he looked back at you from your bold movement, his eyebrows furrowed with confusion by what you were doing,..... you had never before been this bold or confident before, let alone a risk taker, with Polly just a few metres away.  
" Dinner's ready,..." Polly suddenly shouted out from the kitchen.  
" Oh well,..." you softly laughed into his ears, " I guess that means you'll just have to wait a little longer for me to continue" you smirked at him, as you just walked away from his shocked composure as you walked over and sat yourself down at the dining table.  
It took him a few seconds to finally follow you over and sit next to you at the table, as if he was lost in a state of confusion by your so out of character actions.  
He sits down beside you with his glass of whiskey as Polly brings in the dinner and sits down with you both.  
" Me and y/n have been busy discussing wedding plans while you have been away Michael" Polly then said over to her son.  
" Oh right,..." Michael replied, as he began to eat.  
" Yes, we found the most perfect beautiful little church and the vicar has given us a few available dates in the upcoming months for us to look over now your home,... but we will need to get back to him right away" you then tell him.  
" Yeah alright,..." he replies.  
" Plus, we have found my wedding dress as well,... its perfect" you reply with a smile.  
" Well,.. as long as it covers up a lot more than the one you have got on at the moment,... it is a house of god after all" Michael scoffed back, in between mouthfuls of food as he then took a gulp of his whiskey.  
You and Polly then shared a quick glance between each other, as well as a small smirk.  
" I never had you down for being such a godly man Michael" Polly then laughed over at him.  
" I'm just saying,... all of our family and friends will be there,... and y/n's dress that she has on right now is a little,.. revealing,." he remarked.  
" Well,.. I think you look gorgeous tonight, y/n" Polly smiled over at you.  
" Thanks Pol,....I'm glad someone appreciates the effort I made " you smiled back at her.  
" No,.. I think you look gorgeous too,... its just that you always look gorgeous no matter what you have on,... you just don't need to wear something so revealing to look gorgeous,... you've never needed too" he replied.  
You suddenly felt a twinge in your heart,... but you tried to stop yourself from letting your guard down,... even if he had just melted your heart with his last comment.  
" Michael didn't like that I went to work in this dress today Pol,..." you then said over to Polly, as you then feel Michael tense up and sigh heavily beside you.  
" Oh right,..." Polly replied, raising her eyebrows at him.  
" Because of the chefs that work there and that,.." you then continued.  
" Look,.. I just meant that it is a very revealing dress and far too sexy for work,....no other man would want people staring at their girl in an inappropriate way either wearing something like that" Michael heavily sighed.  
" Aww Michael,...were you getting jealous? " Polly smirked over at him, as she let out a playful laugh.  
You then saw Michael suddenly pause and stop eating his dinner, raising his eyebrows before closing his eyes shut and clenching his jaw sharply at the same time, like was getting really annoyed at you both.  
" Look,...why don't we discuss the dates for the wedding" you say, trying to calm down the tension over the dinner table.  
Michael let out another sigh, before silently nodding as he began to eat his dinner again, now that the conversation was being altered.  
" The earliest one is the 24th of April,.. which is less than two months away,.... and then the next one is the 2nd of May.... or there is the 15th of May,... and then we are going into June" you begin.  
" Ask him for the 24th of April,.." Michael replied,  
" if that is the earliest date available".  
" But May is a nice month to have a wedding,... its not too hot nor too cold for everyone,.. and you can have such lovely sunny days in May" Polly smiled.  
" Your right Pol,... I like May as well,.... don't you Michael,..? " you then turn and ask him.  
" I suppose,... if that's what you want" Michael replied with a shrug.  
"May it is then,....so which date shall I ring and ask him for then tomorrow,... the 2nd or the 15th,..?" you then ask them both.  
" The 2nd " Michael quickly replied, as you turned and looked at him, " Well, we don't want to wait any more longer, do we? " he continued at you.  
" Erm,.. do you mind if I make a suggestion,..?" Polly suddenly asks you both over the table.  
" Of course not,.." you smile at her.  
" Your sister was born on the 15th of May, Michael,... I just thought it would be nice if you could honour her by remembering her on your wedding day by getting married on her birthday,... I mean,... you both don't have to have that date if you both don't want to,... it is your two's wedding day after all,..." Polly began, as she started shaking her head like she thought she was overstepping the mark.  
" Oh Pol,.... I think that is such a beautiful idea" you smile at her, " don't you, Michael,..?" you then turn and smile at him.  
He pauses, and then smiles back at you, as he then looks over at his mother, and he softly starts nodding his head at her with a gentle smile.  
" Yes,.. of course it is mom" he then smiles over at her.  
Polly then smiles widely back at you both, her eyes welling up with tears.  
" The 15th of May it is then,... I'll call him first thing in the morning" you smile between them both. 

Later on, as you both head upstairs to bed, you take off your dress and underwear and put on one of the new night dresses that you also brought the other day.  
Your usual night dresses were just long, white cotton ones but this one was a much more smaller, little black night dress made out of silk, with lace going down the middle of it revealing a lot more of your cleavage,.. and you saw Michael pause and his eyes widen as you walked over to the bed with it on.  
You then got underneath the covers, as if you were totally unaware of his reaction.  
You then feel him get into the bed beside you as you then feel his lips kiss your bare shoulder and his arms wrap themselves around you.  
You giggled innocently before you wriggled out of his embrace, and you felt his eyes watch you closely as you then leaned over and pulled a book out from the drawer of the bedroom cabinet on your side of the bed.  
You then opened it up on the page that your bookmark was sticking out of, and you felt his eyes bore into you as you started reading it.  
" What on earth are you doing,...?" you suddenly hear him ask you, after a few minutes of silence of him just watching you reading it.  
" I'm reading this book,... for my book club that I was telling you about earlier,....." you reply.  
" Seriously,...?" he then asked you, with raised eyebrows.  
" Why shouldn't I be reading my book for book club,.. I can't fall behind,.." you then replied to him.  
" Y/N,.... we haven't seen each other for over a week,... you weren't even here for when I arrived home yesterday, and now its our first night back together and you are reading some book for some fucking book club" he snorts.  
" My friends and my hobbies are just as important too, Michael,.." you reply sternly at him.  
He just stares back at you, his eyes wide and his mouth open wider than it should usually be, like he was genuinely taken aback.  
" Are you fucking being serious with me,..?" he replies, as he is left speechless for a few seconds.  
" Yes,.... I'm reading my book,.." you reply.  
He stares back at you again, still speechless.  
" Well,.. what's with the sexy little night dress that you are wearing,... you have never wore that before,.. I would of noticed" he then replies.  
" I brought it the other day,... I liked it,... I brought it for me,.. to make me feel good" you told him.  
" I'm confused,... what is going on here,... are you trying to punish me or something for going to London after you begged me not too" he then sniped at you.  
Michael wasn't stupid,... he had begun to figure you out,... and you had to act fast.  
" Why would I punish you,... your being ridiclious" you scoffed back at him, as you turned your eyes back to your book.  
" Look, I am really sorry about everything that happened before I left, ... yes,.. I had been keeping my involvement in the other side of the business from you after we promised no more secrets between us, ...and yes, I still went to London with the others even though you begged me not too,... but I only kept it from you to protect you,... and it did bother me seeing you cry the way you did before I left,... I thought about it every night that I was away " he started, " I hated seeing you cry,.... and I've missed you so much,.. and I hate being apart from you,.. " he continued, his voice softening.  
You sigh into your book,... but you still needed to refuse to give in to him.  
Your and Polly's plan had not even begun to start yet.  
So you began to start it.  
" Thank you,... thank you for being sorry" you reply, giving him a small smile.  
" I love you y/n,....you do know that? " he replied,.. as you softly nod at him in response.  
" I love you too Michael,... so much you'll never know" you smile at him.  
You then see a smile creep up on his lips, as his one hand then removes the book from your hands as he begins to kiss his way down your neck,... his other hand finding it's way underneath the covers and then underneath your new silk night dress.  
" Now,.. as much as I do like this new little night dress you currently have on,..,.." he began to say, through his soft kisses down your neck,.. " it would look so much better on the floor,.. ." he smirked against your skin.  
You giggled before you then wriggled out of his embrace again,...even if it took all of your might to do so.  
You secretly wanted him so badly too,...but that was not part of the plan yet.  
" Actually,... I need to talk to you about something,..?" you began, and he looked back at you, confused again by your rejection.  
" What,...?" he just replies, his eyes curious on you.  
" I was thinking while you were away,... that it would be nice for us to wait until our wedding night,... you know,.... for us to wait till then to have sex with each other" you smile sweetly at him.  
His face was just as priceless as you had imagined it to be,... it was a picture of both shock and confusion.  
And it took him quite a few of seconds to reply to it, as if he had to replay your statement back in his head.  
" But,... we have already had sex before y/n,.... lots of times before,... and you aren't even a virgin anymore either" he finally replies, his eyebrows furrowed with confusion.  
" No,... I know that,.. but I thought it would be nice to just wait a while,... so it will be really special when we do finally do it again,... on our wedding night" you smile at him, planting a soft kiss on his cheek.  
He then pauses, and just stares back at you for a while.  
" This is some kind of joke,...isnt it?" he then half laughs at you.  
" No,... I'm being serious,... we have done a week without it already,... let's make it really special" you smile.  
" But.,.. but,... I mean,...how long is it till the 15th of May,.... its only the 9th of February today,...thats,..." he began, as you tried to hide back your smirk as you watched him try to count the weeks in his head.  
" It's about 14 weeks away from now,... that's over three months" he then stated, his eyes wide with the most amusing look of concern splashed across his face.  
" It will be like the first time all over again,... it will be so special,... and so worth the wait" you smile, batting your eyelashes at him.  
He stares back at you, and you watched him gulp slightly.  
" Erm,... why don't we change the date then,... to a much earlier one,... what did he say the earliest one was again,... some time in April,..." he started to say.  
"MICHAEL,..." you then yelled at him sternly, with your now angry eyes penetrating into him, " we told your mom it would be the 15th of May,... your sister's birthday remember,... you promised " you glared angrily at him.  
" Oh yeah,...yeah,... of course" he replied, his eyes darting back and forth in his head.  
" I've got my heart set of the 15th of May,... it just feels right,... with it being your sister's birthday as well,... its such a beautiful touch,.. that's the date of our wedding" you reply sternly.  
" Yes,... yes,... if that is what makes you happy" he smiles at you, but you can still see the inner panic within his eyes.  
" Yes,.. it is" you smile back at him.  
He then let's out a heavy, almost defeated sigh,.. as he finally starts to nod.  
" No, your right.... the idea about it being on my sister's birthday is so wonderful y/n,... but about the whole waiting till our wedding night,.. " he then starts.  
" It's only three months, Michael" you retort back at him.  
" Only,..." he scoffs, " try telling my cock that,..." he grumbles.  
" I'm sure that you and your penis can wait three months,..." you remark back at him, as you then grabbed your book back and started to read from it again.  
You feel him huff beside you like a child, as you continued to ignore his glares as you carried on reading your book,... secretly smiling to yourself.  
He was now going to make it so easy to play right into the palm of your hands.


	36. Chapter 36

You sat yourself down near the edge of the nursery window and watched as the large group of men made their way back up to the house, riding on the back of the group of slow moving horses.  
You looked down from the nursery window as you continued to watch Tommy, Arthur, John, Michael and Finn, along with Isaiah, Charlie, Curly and Johnny Doggs,... all of them wearing long black coats and peaky caps as they rode back up to the house through the dark and misty february fog after an afternoon shooting on Tommy's land.  
Your eyes paid particular attention to your fiancée.  
He looked so handsome as well as just incredibly sexy as he rode back up Tommy's drive with them all, carrying himself with the usual dark and mysterious persona, the way in which he always carried himself with.  
He still made your heart beat rapidly in your chest whenever you saw him or when he was nearly you.  
And you were still so sexually attracted to him.  
You still had to pinch yourself that you were going to be getting married to him very soon.  
You just couldn't wait to finally become his wife. 

You then started to hear the sudden loud noises of male voices entering the house from downstairs.  
You knew that after an afternoon spent shooting on the land that they then returned back to the house to spend the rest of the day smoking cigars and drinking whiskey downstairs.  
And after a while, you heard the nursery door open behind you.  
You smiled as you watched a very heavily pregnant Lizzie enter the nursery and sit herself down on one of the chairs, taking her shoes off as soon as she sat down to relieve her painful swollen feet from their restraints.  
She was getting annoyed from all of the loudness downstairs from all of the guys laughing and getting drunk,.. so she had decided to come upstairs and into the nursery to have a quiet chat with you instead to get away from the noise of them all.  
" Have you got any special plans for tomorrow night?" she asked you.  
" Tomorrow night,...?" you replied, confused.  
" You know,... Valentines day,..... I'll tell you now, if that bastard hasn't got me even a card or a bouquet of flowers,.. I'll chop his dick off the next time he tries to set foot back inside this house" she scoffed, and you obviously knew that she was referring to Tommy as you softly laughed in response to her comment.  
" Nothing much,.... Michael is just coming over to mine for dinner tomorrow evening" you smiled.  
You had arranged for him to stop over at yours that night, and you were going to cook a romantic meal for the two of you and spend the rest of the evening together at your house.  
It was actually going to be your first Valentines day as a couple, as this time last year you both were still only in the flirting and mixed messages stages with one another,..both of you still unsure of how the other one actually felt,... even though you both had secretly fallen in love with each other.  
You smiled at how far you had now come,.. just three months away from your wedding day to each other.  
Although, tomorrow night was probably going to be very hard for you to get through.  
You still had not yet been intimate with him since he had returned from London two weeks ago.  
It was harder than you had initially thought it would be, considering how sexually attracted you were to him all of the time and how you also longed to be intimate with him again as well.  
However, that was not part of the plan just yet.  
You had to show him who was in control before your marriage even began.  
And however much you wanted him too,... you had to stay strong for the plan to work. 

After spending the rest of the afternoon chatting away with Lizzie as you both played with Charlie up in the nursery, it was now your home time.  
You said goodbye to both Lizzie and Charlie as you made your way down the stairs and waited in the hallway for Michael.  
He had always said that whenever he was at Tommy's house while you were there at work, he would always give you a lift home,.. even if you weren't spending the night at his and Polly's house that evening.  
And he always had done.  
So you made your way down the stairs and put your coat on and picked up your bag and waited patiently for him by the front door to come and take you home. 

You felt like you had now been waiting there for ages when suddenly you finally heard the sound of someone approaching.  
You looked around the corner and saw John walking down the corridor towards you and you watched him as he picked something up from on top of a nearby side cabinet.  
Just as he turned to head back in the direction he came from, you saw him look over and notice you standing there by yourself near the front door.  
" Oh,... alright y/n,..." he nodded over at you with a smile.  
" Hi John,..." you smile back.  
" You waiting for Michael,...?" he then asked you curiously.  
" Yeah,..." you replied, as you rolled your eyes slightly.  
" Oh,... Well, he is down in the kitchen with the rest of the boys,... he's rather drunk to be honest with you,.." he replied with a wide grin,... before that grin quickly disappeared off his face when he saw the look of disapproval suddenly appear on yours.  
" Oh right,.." you replied, an annoyance to your tone,  
" I'll just catch the bus home then,... " you continued as your eyes looked towards the clock on the wall near the staircase.  
" Oh,... well I can drive you home,.." he began to say, before you cut him off.  
" Oh don't worry,... I'll be fine,... there is one due shortly,... I should be able to make it if I head off now,... if you could just let Michael know for me" you smiled, as you then gave him a quick goodbye and he nodded back at you as you then quickly headed out the front door. 

You then quickly made your way up Tommy's long estate, and through the next few roads and were relieved when you turned the street corner and saw many people still waiting at the bus stop for the bus to arrive.  
You had just managed to get there with just a few minutes to spare as you then waited for the bus among them all, now slightly out of breath from racing to make it in time.  
You then sat on the bus with your bag on your lap, and you looked out of the window as your mind began to wander throughout the journey home.  
He had never not turned up to take you home before if he was over at Tommy's house for the day.  
You sighed heavily as you wondered if it was due to the fact that you had been denying intimacy with him.  
Maybe this was his way of getting you back.  
Maybe he was now playing mind games with you as well,.. teaching you a lesson.  
Either way, it was not a good sign.  
However, this only made you convince yourself not to give in to him even more so.  
And you could easily just play the same game as him tomorrow evening. 

You woke up the next day and went into work.  
You were in a pretty bad mood throughout the day due to the fact that Michael never even bothered to ring you up to apologise or to see if you even got home ok last night.  
However, as soon as you got home today, you quickly had a bath and then started to get ready for this evening.  
You were planning on making him just as crazy again tonight.  
You kept your hair down in loose curls around your shoulders and did your make up sultry looking with heavy lashes, smokey eyes and red tinted lips.  
You then put on one of your more sexier dresses as you started to set up for this evening.  
You then put the food in the gas oven to cook, and you smiled to yourself as you prepared the table with candles, trying to make it look as romantic as possible for this evening.  
You then sat yourself down at the table and poured yourself a glass of wine, as you always did to gain a bit of confidence before you saw him, as you waited patiently for him to arrive.

You looked up at the clock on the wall, and noticed that he was now nearly half an hour late, and you began to panic that the meal that you were cooking could soon be burnt if he didn't arrive soon.  
Just as you got up to go into the kitchen to check on it, you heard the ringing of the telephone.  
" Hello,...." you answered, picking up the heavy handle to your ear.  
" Hi y/n,... its me" you heard Michael reply to you down the other end of the telephone.  
" Oh,.. where are you,... I was getting really worried" you reply to him.  
" I'm fine,... I'm just stuck at the office,... I have all this paperwork to get through and I don't think that I am going to be able to make it to yours tonight" he replied.  
Suddenly there was a very long silence.  
" What,.. what do you mean that you are not going to be able to make it,... we had planned this night specially,....its Valentines day,...our first one together as well,... are you saying that you are no longer coming" you reply,....the tone of your voice showing a mixture of both anger and hurt.  
You then hear him sigh heavily down the other end of the phone.  
" Look y/n,... I'm sorry,... but I'm just not going to be able to get there in time now,.... I need to finish up here,... we will just have to rearrange it for another night instead,.....ok" you then heard him reply.  
You could feel yourself begin to explode, as you felt the tears start to well up in your eyes from your increasing anger at him.  
" YOU KNOW WHAT MICHAEL,... JUST FORGET IT,.." you reply, your voice very raised at him as you then slam the handle of the telephone back down, ending the call.  
You then go back over to the chair that you were sitting on, and put your hands over your face as you begin to cry.  
You had now had enough of feeling like a last minute thought all of the while.  
You picked up your glass of wine off the table and drank what was left inside of it in one big gulp, as you then poured yourself another large glass in between your heavy sobs.  
You sat there for a while, expecting him to call you back to apologise, to see if you were ok and if you had calmed down.  
But he didn't even do that,... he never rang back again all night.  
You continued to sob your way through many glasses of wine,.. your mascara now running down your face.  
But you silently ordered yourself that you were not going to let yourself be defeated,.. as you stared at the now empty bottle of wine and began to think up the most brilliant of ideas. 

The next day, you went into work and felt extremely guilty as you told a little white lie to your friend.  
" I'm so sorry,.. I can't believe that I have forgotten to tell you both,... I think that I have had just so much on my mind with planning the wedding and everything" you say, feeling awful as you never did tell lies.  
" It's completely fine y/n,... just finish a few hours earlier today,... Mary won't mind looking after Charlie for a bit" Lizzie smiled at you.  
" Thank you,..." you smiled back at her, still feeling really guilty for lying, but this needed to be done.  
You had just told her that you had a doctor's appointment this afternoon,... which of course you didn't.  
You had something very important to do instead which you needed this afternoon off for. 

You made your way over the street cobbles in your heels, as you felt the harsh cold february wind attack your shivering legs as you then felt it travel up your long winter coat, the long coat that you were holding on to with the firmest of grips, as you suddenly began to wonder if this drunken plan of yours was really such a good idea after all.  
There was so many possible ways that this plan could go horribly wrong.  
But you just tried to erase any doubts from your mind.  
This plan was going to work, you convinced yourself. 

You then made your way into the Shelby Limited offices, looking around you suspiciously,.. obviously not wanting to bump into Tommy, Arthur or John while you were there as you heard lots of noises coming from other people throughout the other offices.  
You finally found the door to Michael's office, with his name above the words ' Cheif Accountant' on it.  
You gulped slightly, as you prepared yourself for what you were about to do.  
You then knocked against the window of his office door.  
You didn't hear anything for a few seconds, and you began to wonder if he was even in there, until you heard a low, deep voice reply ' come in,..' from behind the door.  
You slowly opened the door, to see Michael sitting there behind his desk.  
His face was looking down at lots of different pieces of papers scattered over his desk, and he was writing away on them, and he hadn't yet looked up to see who had just entered his office.  
You looked around the room,.. and noticed that he was definitely alone in here.  
The sound of you closing the door behind you, made him finally look up from his paperwork.  
His eyes widened as they fell on you, and you notice him straighten himself upright in his chair, as if he was extremely shocked to see you in there, as you then put the lock across his office door.  
" Y/N,..." he said outloud, his voice just as shocked as his face to see you standing in his office.  
You had never ever been in his office before, let alone been to his place of work.  
" What are you doing here,..?" he asked you, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as he dropped his pen from the grip of his hand as he stared bewildered at you.  
You then closed all of the blinds in each of his windows, as you then made your way over to him, walking around his desk, until you were standing in front of the chair he was sitting in, as you smirked at the baffled look that was upon his confused face.  
" I'm here to see my fiancée,.." you replied, as you held on tightly to the coat that was wrapped around your body.  
He just stared at you for a few seconds, his eyes still wide, and he appeared still in shock that you were standing in front of him.  
" But,.. shouldn't you be at work right now,..?" he asked you, as his head then turned to look at the clock on his wall.  
You then leaned forward, and softly put your hand on the one side of his cheek and gently turned his face back with your one hand, back to look at you.  
His eyes widened even larger at the gesture, and he genuinely looked completely baffled as to what was going on.  
" Do you have any other meetings that you have to attend to this afternoon,...Mr Gray,..?" you then asked him, your voice almost purring at him.  
The look on his face was just priceless, as he looked completely lost for words.  
" Erm,... no,... no,..." he stuttered back, as you began running your fingers up and down his tie seductively  
" That is very,....very good to hear" you giggle at him, as you then start to play around with the buttons on your coat, and slowly start unbuttoning them in front of him.  
He watches you intriguingly as you do so,.. his mouth still parted open with confusion.  
" Y/N,... what are you doing here,..?" he asked you again, shaking his head slightly, still baffled by your presence here.  
" You didn't even bother to turn up last night,.... it was meant to be our first Valentine's evening together,... you ruined my romantic Valentines meal that I had cooked for you" you reply, your eyes penetrating his intensely.  
He then let's out a heavy sigh,.. and you watch him roll his eyes slightly.  
" I know,.. and I have said that I was sorry,.... I just had so much work that I had to do here,..." he replied, his eyes looking back at you again.  
" You really upset me,..." you softly replied, pouting sightly.  
" I know,... I know I did,.... and I am sorry,... and I didn't call you back last night after you slammed the phone down on me because I hate arguing with you,... so I just thought that I would let you calm down first,... but I will make it up to you,.. I promise" he softly replied, as he reaches his arm out to try and touch you, but you then step backwards, away from his reach.  
" And how do you plan to do that,...?" you ask him, raising your eyebrows at him as you start fiddling with the buttons on your coat again.  
You then see his eyes look down again and watch as you continue to undo the buttons on your coat, as his intense eyes continue to look intrigued to what was actually going on.  
" y/n,.." he then replies, slightly shaking his head at you,  
" why are you here and not at Tommy's looking after Charlie,....what are you doing all the way over here,..?" he asked you again.  
You smirked at him, as you then leaned forward and began to take off his tie from around his neck.  
" And why did you not take me home the other night either ,...?" you then asked him, completely ignoring his question by asking him one of your own.  
He looks at you completely baffled, as he just watches you try to remove his tie from around his neck.  
" I,.. I forgot,... I must of got a bit too drunk downstairs with the guys,... John come down and said that you had gone and got the bus home instead,..." he started to reply, before he suddenly grabbed your one hand that was removing his tie from around his neck," y/n,... what are you doing here,...?" he then asks you again, his intense eyes boring into you.  
" And then,.. you don't even bother to turn up to our romantic Valentine's meal in,.." you then continue,.. completely ignoring his questions again.  
" Look,...sweetheart,...I have said that I am sorry,... I will make it up to you,..." he starts to reply, before you cut him off.  
" Yes,... yes you will,..." you reply, with a huge smirk spread across your face, " And you will start doing so right this very moment,... Mr Gray" you continue to smirk, as you then let your coat fall from your body and drop to the floor.  
You smile with delight as you watch his amazed eyes widen largely, as if they could pop out from his head at any moment, as his mouth opens just as wide as his eyes and you hear him let out a low breathless gasp, as he just stares at the sight of you standing before him.  
You were now standing right in front of him wearing just a see through black and crimson coloured lacy bra, as well as a pair of black and crimson lacy panties to match, and a pair of high heels shoes on your feet, as you let your hair fall down around your shoulders in sexy loose curls.  
" Good god,... y/n,...." he gasps, as he takes in the sight of you standing in front of him.  
" Now,.. what were you saying about making it up to me,.." you smile.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry again for the delay!!!
> 
> I have even annoyed myself with the delay of this chapter!!!

You watch as he pauses for a few seconds.  
His wide eyes frantically scanning all over every part of your almost naked body standing in front of him, as if he was trying to take it all in and you see his lips part open, but nothing was yet coming out of them, as if he was lost for words.  
" Michael,...?" you smile, raising your eyebrow at him to try and knock him out of his current trance of your body,... and for him to start interacting verbally with you.  
You stare at him and watch him swallow what seemed to be a small lump in the back of his throat, as his eyes then make their way back up to your face.  
" Fuck,...." was all that he finally managed to say, as his hand then reached out to try and touch you.  
" I take it that this is what you have been wanting,.... and waiting so long for,... ?" you smirk at him, as you step closer towards him, nudging both of his legs open with your own leg as you then sit down on top of him.  
You feel him take in a heavy breath beneath you as you start straddling him in the chair he was sitting on, and you wrap your arms around his neck.  
His two hands then go to reach out for you, but then they both suddenly pause for a moment, before they do then reach out and finally touch the bare skin around your waist and hips, almost in a tender and careful-like way, as if you were fragile or made from glass and could be easily broken from just one slight touch.  
And once his hands start touching you and caressing your exposed skin, .... you see him gulp again, his eyes wide with wonder and he bites down on his lip, before his eyes then suddenly dart around the empty room you were both in,.. and you then see them travel towards the windows of his office,.... even though there is nobody else in the room but the two of you and both the windows are drawn closed and the door is locked shut.  
You lean into him, taking him off guard as his eyes are still checking on the windows of his office, and as you press your lips against his for a kiss, you feel him tense up slightly as if he was shocked from it,.... before you feel his muscles then start to soften as he begins to kiss you back.  
You then softly break from the kiss once he has responded, and you feel him breathe heavily on your face.  
" What the fuck is this,...?" he finally replies with a sentence, his own breathing heavy on your face.  
" This,....? " you smile back and laugh, as you softly rub your nose against his, " I thought that this was what you have been wanting,...?" you whisper breathlessly against his face, as you then press yourself up against him and rub yourself against the area between his legs as you straddle him.  
You hear his gasp from the friction, and you feel the erected bulge forming inbetween his legs.  
He then removes his one hand from your waist, and he softly runs his fingers through the strands of your hair that were falling down and around the one side of your face, as he then removes them from off your face as he combs the strands back behind your ear lovingly, as if they were blocking his full view of your face.  
You smile at him from the sweet gesture, but his face is looking serious at you, and his eyes are darting all over your face and then over your body questionably.  
" God,... you look so fucking gorgeous,..." he replies, as he breathes in slightly, his fingers still running through your hair, before he then suddenly leans forward abruptly and kisses you this time, forcefully and passionately.  
You feel his tongue dance with your own within your mouth, as his hot hands now start wandering over your cold, almost bare body again.  
Suddenly you both break from the kiss, just to get oxygen.  
" What the fuck are you doing,.....what fucking is this,...?" he asks you again, a lot more sternly this time, his eyes glaring into yours before they eventually look down again, as if he just can't help himself but return to admire your body in nothing but your lacy bra and pantie set again, as his eyes widen every time they take you in.  
" I've come over here to make you happy,.." you smile to him, as you run your fingers along his jaw line, making him look back up at you.  
" Make me happy,....?" he questions, with a puzzled look, " but,... but you do make me happy,.... you make me happy all of the while" he breathes back at you, his eyes scanning your face.  
" You know what I mean,....?" you giggle, as your hand then lowers and grabs the stiff bulge inbetween his legs, and you give it a playful squeeze.  
He gulps and then breathes against you, and he looks back at you wide eyed.  
" This kind of happy,...." you smirk at him, as you press against his erected area with your hand for a second time, making him buckle slightly beneath you.  
He stares back at you,... almost bewildered-like.  
" But I,... I thought that you said,..." he begins to say, staring up at your amused face,.. " you said that you wanted to wait,... until the wedding" he questions you, in a serious tone.  
" I do,..... but I know that you don't want to" you reply back, both of your faces almost touching one another's.  
He looks down, his eyes admiring your breasts that were now just below his eye level, as if he could just devour them right here and now,... before his face then turns downcast and serious-like,....almost ashamed.  
" I don't,... its been killing me not having you" he breathes against your face again, as his fingers then softly start to run through your hair and back off your face again, and his eyes then admires your face this time, " I want you all of the fucking time,...." he breathes, " I've even started to dream about it most nights now, ..." he then says, followed by an amused chuckle.  
" Dream about it,....? " you reply, with an amused grin back at him as you then let out a playful laugh.  
He looks down, slightly embarrassed, as his eyes then finally return to look back into yours.  
" Every night I make love to you in my dreams,..." he smiles, " Its been great,.... until I wake up and realise it was only a dream and I have to come to work" he laughs.  
You smile back at him, and you lean even closer into him.  
" Tell me what happens in these dreams,...?" you almost whisper into him.  
He looks back at you,... and then laughs slightly, his smile wide before his face then suddenly turns serious,... and he then stares back into your eyes as you wait for him to reply to the question.  
He pauses, his eyes looking down at your lips,.. and then to your almost bare breasts,... until he finally looks back up into your eyes again, and takes in a deep breath.  
" In the majority of them,.... I'm fucking you so hard that my dick could fall off,..." he replies, staring back at you for your reaction.  
You look back at him blankly for a few seconds, before you break out into a grin and begin to laugh.  
" That doesn't sound like a very good dream to me" you smile, " I would be very,..very sad if that was to happen,...I do have a huge fondness for your dick" you carry on laughing.  
" You don't understand,..." he smiles back at you, letting out a slight laugh of his own, " Its because in my dreams,.... I just can't fuck you hard enough,... or I just can't fuck you enough in general" he replies, his face turning serious again as he finally stops laughing.  
You stare back at him, as you try and and hold back your smile to remain just as serious as he looked.  
" I fucking love you,.... you know that y/n...? " he then looks up and asks you, as he holds onto your semi naked body.  
" I know that,..." you softly reply, looking back into his eyes tenderly.  
You say that you know,..... and so many people had told you before now about how obvious it is of how much Michael loves you,.... but you always feel like you needed it said to you from him himself,.... and you had to admit,... that you could just never get enough of hearing him say it to you himself,... from his very own lips it just felt so much greater.  
It just gave you that much needed reassurance that he really did love you just as much as you love him.  
"And I love you too,.... your everything to me" you smile back at him, softly caressing the side of his face with your thumb, as a rush of emotion just washing over you from his tender confession.  
He just smiles back at you lovingly, as you both look into each others eyes,... and you suddenly wonder how this had suddenly gone from you seducing him in his office to this very loving moment in such a small amount of minutes.  
" I came over here to seduce you, you know?" you softly laugh at him.  
He then let's out a soft chuckle in response.  
" You don't need to seduce me,... you turn me on every second that you are around me anyway" he smiles, as he then looks down and gestures to you sitting on top of him in just your sexy bra and panties,  
" So,.. all of this that you had planned today is just you being way too cruel on me,... I never had you down for possibly being such a cruel wife,.... you have always been such a sweet girl" he smiles up at you, as he wraps his arms around your waist and softly kisses your lips, " my sweet girl,..." he smiles against the kiss.  
" I can be bad too, you know...? " you then laugh against his lips.  
You feel his chest rise up and down against you as he then starts to chuckle.  
" Oh yeah,... you can,...huh?" he playfully laughs.. " I can't imagine you ever being bad,....I'd like you to show me just how bad exactly,...? " he smirks, with a playful raised eyebrow, " I think I need to know who exactly I'm marrying in a fews weeks time,...?" he smiles.  
" Someone who has just walked across the street and into this building and office with nothing on but a very small amount of tiny underwear on underneath her coat in the middle of February,...all just for her man" you smirk back at him.  
" Oh,....and don't you worry,.... it has definitely had the desired effect on me,.... you have more than just satisfied me with you doing so" he then laughs up at you, running his hands all over your body desirably.  
" Oh,.... well I am glad to hear it" you smile back at him, as you then feel him run his hands over your behind, as he gives it a gentle slap.  
" I've got a feeling your going to be such fun as a wife,..." he grins, his hand caressing and cupping your face,.. " as if I didn't already know what a lucky man I am already,...." he smirks up at you.  
You giggle back at him as you both press your lips against each other and kiss each other passionately.  
You feel his hands roam around your body, as you then feel his fingers start to fiddle with the clips of your bra on your back, as he then lets your bra just fall loose and off your skin as it drops to the floor,... as his mouth then dives forward and takes one of your breasts into the whole of his mouth, sucking and nuzzling at it in between his hungry lips as his other hand then starts caressing and playing with the nipple on your other breast.  
You let out a heavy moan at his touch, as you feel him start to play with your other erected nipple within his mouth and you whimper and gasp above him.  
He continues to devour your breasts with his mouth and hands for a few seconds,... before he suddenly stops abruptly.  
" Y/N,....." he gasps against your skin.  
You look down from his sudden departure from your body.  
" If,... you know,.... you still want to wait,....for our wedding night,..." he starts to say, and you look back down at him, as he seems to ponder about what he is about to say.  
" You know it's been killing me,..... and I don't even know why I have just stopped to say this when I should be continuing and trying my luck right now,.. " he then laughs, before he looks back at you seriously again,  
" but if it is what you want,....and you do want to wait,... I will respect that,...it will continue to kill me,.... but if it is what you want,..." he suddenly says, even though his face seems rather reluctant, " but you need to say now,... because if I do continue any further,... I don't think that I will be able to stop" he says, almost concerned-like.  
You smile back at him,... and you almost feel guilty and sorry for him.  
You then pause, and you see his eyes then start to scan across your face intently, as if he was trying to read your facial expression.  
" You know what,.... I have a plan,... or more like,... a compromise" you finally smirk back at him, as you watch him tense up slightly and his eyes start to widen.  
You then slowly get up from sitting on top of him,... and you see his eyes never leaving you as they watch you intently and curiously.  
You then get down on the floor and kneel before him, and he slightly straightens himself up in his chair.  
You look up and smirk at him, your hair falling down around your naked breasts, as you hand slowly reaches up and starts unbuckling the belt around his trousers.  
You see him then slowly smirk back at you,... his eyes almost sparkling with delight, as his grin grows wider, as he seems to understand where you were now taking this.  
He then starts to help you remove his belt quickly as well as pulling his trousers and underwear down as he then falls back into his chair in front of you, in an almost relaxed positon.  
You then hover over his exposed and erected penis that was now in front of you, and now free from the restraints of his clothes, as you look back up at Michael and smile, as he had already closed his eyes in anticipation before you had even begun.  
You then softly run your tongue over the tip of his erected penis and you feel his gasp slightly and rock his head backwards, his eyes still closed shut as he stretches himself out to give you full room and exposure to him.  
You then wrap your mouth around his hardened length and take the whole of him inside of your mouth.  
" Oh,..... y/n,.. " you hear him moan, as well as his breathing stiffen slightly.  
You begin to move your mouth up and down around him, hearing him groan in pleasure every so often as you feel his hands make their way to the back of your head, to steady himself as well as control the rhythm and speed that you are pleasuring him with.  
" Fuck,...yeah,..." you hear him breathe, as he grabs a tighter hold of the back of your head, as he tries to signal you to increase the speed of your mouth around his erection.  
" Oh,.... fuck,..." you can hear him groan above you, as your lips smile around his throbbing length.  
You then begin to hear his breathing start to become a lot more heavier and frantic, and his moans seem to start spilling from his mouth a lot more frequently, as if he was getting closer.  
" Oh,...fuck,....fuck,..." he repeats, as he firmly grips hold of the back of your head forcefully, and you feel him buckle and pulsate as he lets his head rock back and he tightens his grip on you even firmer, as you hear a string of heavy moans above you inbetween his erratic and frantic breaths, and you all of a sudden then feel the warm and salty taste of him releasing himself inside of your mouth.  
" Shit,.... y/n,..." you hear him gasp, his hands still clutching onto the back of your head.  
You smile around his pulsating cock,... as he finally seems to of finished releasing himself inside of your hot mouth.  
You look up at him,... he looks sweaty and breathless,... and amusingly disoriented,...as he rocks his head back with a deep, heavy breath.  
You smile up at him and let a heavy few breaths out yourself, after your mouth had been filled with him for the past many minutes, as you finally let oxygen back inside your mouth from having to rely from breathing through your nose for air.  
Your own heavy breathing makes him finally open his eyes and look down at you, and he smiles back down at your grinning and prideful face.  
You could tell that he knew that you were satisfied with yourself,...and he smiles down at you adorably.  
" I've been thinking,.... you can start coming over to visit me here more often,..." he continues to grin down at you,... as he tries to catch his breath.  
" You know what,.....I just might" you playfully smile back up at him.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am so sorry about the delay with this chapter.  
> I have just had so much going on during the last two weeks but I am going to try to update as much as possible.  
> It makes me sooo happy knowing that you are loving and enjoying the story!!!  
> Thanks everyone xxx

You lit the candles that were spread across the middle of the dining table in your home.  
Michael was due to arrive within the next ten minutes and you were meant to be having a romantic dinner together this evening,... after he cancelled the one that you both were originally meant to have for Valentines day, after he had called you to say that he was stuck working at the office the last time.  
You had spent all evening getting ready again, doing your hair and makeup and painting your nails, and you had put on one of your more sexier dresses.  
You were hoping that this time he would not let you down again.  
He was always working way too much at the office,...staying late or bringing work home with him at the end of the day.  
You were hoping that this wasn't a sign of things to come.  
You wanted him to make time for you as well,... and your relationship, and very soon,....your marriage.  
You then heard the engine of a car outside of your house and you suddenly got those familiar butterflies in your stomach again.  
You loved that,.... that after almost a year together and that you were very soon to be married,... you still had those butterflies everytime that you were about to see him.  
Your heart still raced in your chest everytime your eyes landed on him and he was near you,...and your body still buzzed everytime he would touch you.  
He made you feel alive,.... and like the most happiest person alive.  
You couldn't even remember a time in your life now when you didn't know Michael,... now that your life was now consumed by him.  
Suddenly you heard a knock on the door, and your heart danced a little in your chest, as you went over to open it.  
You smiled as you saw him standing there.  
He had turned up this time,... he obviously knew he had better not let you down again.  
He was standing on the doorstep in his work suit and holding his briefcase,... so he had obviously come straight from work to yours.  
And he was holding a bouquet of purple coloured roses.  
" Hi darling,..." he smiled at you, as he leaned forward and kissed your cheek and handed you the bouquet of flowers.  
You smiled sweetly and accepted the flowers, as you then stood aside and let him enter the house and then closed the door behind him.  
" I'm not late, am I,...?" he then asked you, his eyes staring at the prepared table in front of him as he put down his briefcase and took of his jacket.  
" No,.. no,...." you reply,..admiring the beautiful, bright flowers in your hands.  
" Good,..." he replied, as his eyes then turned and looked at you, as he scanned you up and down admirably, " you look gorgeous,... as ever" he smiled, a hint of desire in his eyes as well as in his tone of voice as he moved closer towards you, his eyes looking adoringly at your face.  
You blushed and smiled backed coyly, and you let him take you in his arms as he kissed you again, tenderly on the lips this time.  
" I've been looking forward to tonight,..." you smiled into his embrace.  
" Me too,..." he smiled back, his arms wrapped around your waist.  
" Thank you for not letting me down again tonight,... I know how much you have on at work at the moment,...." you reply, trying to sound understanding.  
You hear him sigh against you, as you then feel him cling on to you a little tighter.  
" Yes,.. I do" he replies,.."but you are more important" he then whispers into you.  
You smile against him, as you caress his back and kiss him again.  
He deepens the kiss, holding you tightly as you then feel his tongue enter your mouth, and the kiss starts to intensify passionately.  
He kisses you hungrily, as if he was refusing to let go of you,.. before you both finally have to break from the kiss for air.  
He then looks deeply into your eyes, and gives you a warm smile.  
" I better go and check on the dinner" you then smile to him.  
He gives you a slight nod, as he then let's you out from his tight embrace, and you go into the kitchen to check on the dinner.  
As you enter back into the room, you see that he has sat himself down at the table and has removed his tie from around his neck to get more comfortable, and he has poured you both two glasses of wine.  
" It should be another ten minutes,..." you smile, as you sit yourself down opposite him.  
He gives you a small nod, as he takes a gulp of wine, as if he was trying to get himself relaxed for the evening.  
" My flowers are beautiful,... thank you" you smile, as you then get back up to go to place them in a vase of water.  
" Do you know what they mean,...?" he asks over at you, as you go and get a vase from a cupboard and start filling it up with water.  
" Do I know what they mean,..?" you repeat confusingly, as you place them in the vase.  
" Lavender roses,..." he replies.  
" No,...are they suppose to mean something? " you ask him.  
" Each colour rose has a different meaning,... like red roses stands for love and passion, white ones stands for innocence, purity or sympathy,..and yellow ones for friendship and joy,...." he starts to tell you.  
" So what do Lavender ones stand for then,...? " you reply, looking puzzled at them.  
He let's out an amused chuckle, his eyes fixed on you.  
" They stand for love at first sight,.. " he smiles, as you look over at him.  
" Michael,..." you smile back over at him.  
" I thought that it was fitting,... as I really did fall in love with you from the very first time I laid eyes on you" he continues, " when I saw you standing there at Tommy's.. holding Charlie" he smiles at you.  
You blush intensely under his admiringly gaze, as you smile back at him.  
" That's so beautiful,.... I love them even more" was all that you manage to reply back with a beaming smile.  
He smiles back, his gaze not leaving you as you walk over and sit opposite him again at the table.  
" And I love you,.." you say, as you take his hand in yours.  
" I love you too,.." he smiles back, as he starts to gently caress your hand within his own.  
You stare at each other for a while, your gaze intense with one another, and you feel as if electricity was running through all of the veins in your body.  
" I'm so lucky,..." you softly say, as you start to caress his hand back.  
He just smiles back at you, his eyes soft and gentle as they look upon your face.  
"I'm the lucky one,... I can't wait to be able to call you my wife in less than three months time" he smiles widely.  
" I know,... its seems surreal, doesn't it?" you smile back, "this time last year,.. I didn't even know if you really did even like me or not" you reply.  
He looks back at you, his eyebrows now furrowed with an confused expression.  
" Well,..." you continue, " you were always giving me such mixed messages all of the while whenever you were at Tommy's.... some days you would talk to me,.. and then other days you would just completely ignore me,.. I even use to think that it was all just one big joke between you and your cousins,... about the silly little nanny" you reply.  
He looks back at you, and you can see his face now looks quite annoyed by what you had just said.  
" You were never a joke to me,.... I fell for you instantly,.... I know that my cousins would always joke about us and use to like to wind us up,.... but like I just said,... I loved you from the very first moment I saw you" he starts to reply,.. " I just didn't know how to handle that,.... I've never,.... I've never loved anyone as much as I love you... . I guess a part of me tried to conceal it,.. even tried to fight it,....until I no longer wanted to fight it,.....I just wanted you,....and nothing else but you" he smiles.  
" I fell for you from the very first moment that I saw you too,..." you reply back with a smile, " and I don't want nothing else but you either" you continue to smile.  
" Well,... you still do have three months to change your mind if you do" he replies, with a sarcastic laugh.  
" I do,.. don't I? " you laugh back sarcastically,..before you then soften your face at him, " but I will never change my mind,... you are the only man that I will ever want" you smile.  
His gaze is fixed on you as the words leave your mouth, and he nods his head in an almost relieved kind of way, and you swear you can see his eyes fill up ever so slightly, and he continues to just nod his head at you, before he finally let's a smile appear on his lips.  
" I hate to break this moment,... but I really do need to take the dinner out of the oven or it will be ruined again" you smile at him.  
He then let's out an amused laugh, as he just nods his head and let's go of your hand within his.  
You then quickly go into the kitchen to serve up the dinner before it's burnt.  
As you enter back into the room with dinner, you see that he has lit up a cigarette as you put both of the plates down on the table in front of where you both were sitting and you sit back down opposite him.  
He mumbles a 'Thank you' as you put his plate in front of him, as he continues to finish his cigarette.  
" Long day,...? " you then ask over at him.  
He looks over at you from your question, as you begin to eat.  
" Something like that,..." he replies with a sigh, as he finishes his cigarette and begins to eat too.  
His eyes look tired, and you could tell that he was really trying to make the effort.  
" We can have an early night if you like...?" you then reply to him.  
He looks over at you briefly, before looking down with a smile.  
" Thanks,... but it's even harder to sleep next to you,..." he then replies.  
" Harder,...." you reply, with an amused laugh.  
" You know,... with the no sex until our wedding night rule" he replies, with a scoff.  
" I satisfied you pretty well the other day if I recall correctly,... back at your office" you reply, raising your eyebrow with a smirk.  
He then let's out an amused chuckle in between mouthfuls of his food.  
" How could I forget,..." he replies, with a smirk.  
" Well,... if your lucky,..." you smirk back.  
" Please,.. don't tease" he replies back,..jokingly but also sternly at the same time.  
You just giggle back at him as you give him another small smirk.  
" So,...what do you want to do tonight then.. after dinner,...?" you ask over to him, and he looks down at his plate with a smile.  
He then pauses for a few seconds, as he moves the food around on his plate with his fork.  
" It's nice just being with you,.... just the two of us" he then looks back up and over at you, and smiles softly.  
You smile back over at him warmly.  
" I do miss us being intimate too,..." you then say over at him.  
He then seems to smile to himself, and he looks up at you questionably.  
" I do,..." you then say, " I miss our bodies being joined together,....and the way you make me feel when we make love,..." you reply, blushing slightly as you then take a sip of your wine as if to hide your embarrassment.  
You then see the smile grow wider on his face.  
" The way that I make you feel,...? " he asks, raising his eyebrow at you.  
You feel yourself blush even more as you smile against the glass against your lips.  
You then let out a small, embarrassed giggle as soon as you swallow the wine in your mouth.  
" Stop it,... " you giggle, as you place your glass of wine back down on the table.  
And from the corner of your eye, you see him looking over at you amused.  
He then pauses, his smirk slowly fading, and you see him stare at you intently, his eyes boring into your face, the way he always did when he was thinking about saying something.  
" So I'm guessing that it was my mom's idea then,.... and you just went along with it,..?" he then suddenly asked you.  
You automatically stopped eating, pausing on the spot as you look over at him across the table slightly puzzled, and you wonder what he was on about.  
Even though deep down, you kind of know what he might be referring to, even though you pretend not too.  
" Your mom's idea,... about what,...?" you answer him, screwing your face up in a puzzled way, and he just shakes his head in response to your answer with a knowing smirk on his lips.  
" Come on,... do you really think that I'm that stupid y/n,...?" he then asks you, as he looks over at you sternly.  
You pause, as he stares you out, and you can see him trying to read any facial expression that you may be giving right now intently, like he was trying to read your thoughts.  
" What are you on about,...?" you laugh slightly, but even you can hear the nerves in your voice.  
" Y/N,..." he starts, his eyes looking at you like you have been caught out doing something naughty,  
" I'm not stupid, you know...?" he replies again, sternly.  
His penetrating eyes bore into you, like he was getting annoyed that you were not being more up front and honest with him.  
However you just stare back at him wide eyed, and wait for him to explain where you kind of already knew he may be going with this.  
" I do know that the whole no sex till our wedding night game that you have been playing with me has been conducted up by you and my mother,.." he starts.  
You feel your heart race ever so slightly, but you try and make your face stay as still as possible.  
" To teach me a lesson for getting involved in the other side of the business with Tommy, John and Arthur,... and as punishment for going to London when you both begged me not too,..." he continued, his eyes never leaving your face.  
You pause again,....trying to give no reaction to his words but you can still feel your heart beating in your chest.  
" So I'm going to take a guess and say that the plan was originally thought up by my mom,.. for you to hold back sex from me,... until I started to do as you wish,... and as my mother wishes,... its got Polly written all over it" he then replies.  
You want to swallow the lump that had now formed in your throat,... how did he know? .  
You suddenly let out a nervous laugh,...as you continue to feel his harsh eyes penetrating you.  
" I don't know what your suggesting,...?" you started to laugh off,... before he cut you off mid sentence.  
" Y/N.....?" he said over to you,... as if you were a naughty child.  
Again you just pause,... trying to think of something to say,... until he beats you to it.  
" You are such a terrible liar,.." he says, followed by a sarcastic chuckle, " I figured it out ages ago,... pretty much from the moment I returned back,...like I said,... its got my mother written all over it,... and you could never be so devious" he continues.  
" Couldn't I,...?" you quickly reply back, raising your eyebrow.  
" So you admit to it then,...?" he quickly remarks back, his eyebrows also raising.  
You then realise how smart Michael actually is,.. and how well he knows how to play you,...and what an intelligent man you were actually marrying.  
You already knew Michael was extremely clever,...but it was in moments like this that you realised how he knew how to play people to his advantage.  
Just like his mother did,...and his cousin Tommy.  
" I,... I don't know what you take me and Polly for,...?" you nervously laugh, and he shakes his head at you again.  
" I know my mother,...." he chuckles, but there was also a sterness to his tone.  
" And what about me,...?" you ask him.  
" You,.... " he starts, before he ponders and looks at you deeply,.. " I know why you would agree to it,... hoping that Polly would be right,... that I would eventually give in and say I'll stop getting involved in their business if you break the no sex ban,.." he continues, " but don't play me like that y/n,..." he says, a sharpness to his tone of voice, as his eyes penetrate you seriously.  
You pause and just stare back at him, shocked by his sudden firmness towards you.  
" Play you,..? " you frown back, " why on earth would you think that I was doing that,...? " you then ask him.  
" Because I know exactly when I'm being played,.." he replied, his eyes squinting at you harshly.  
You heavily sigh,.. as you try to use the pause in conversation to quickly think of something to say back to him.  
" Being played,....?" you scoff back, " don't be so ridiculous,... I just want it to be special for our wedding night,..that's all " you reply.  
" Y/N,..." he repeats sternly.  
" Please don't start an argument,... I've been so looking forward to tonight,... just the two of us,.. please don't ruin it" you then say to him.  
He then let's out a very deep and heavy sigh as he continues to glare rather angrily at you, before he then starts shaking his head, letting out another sigh, as if he knows you want him to just drop it.  
" I'm not ruining tonight,... I just want you to be more,.... honest with me" he replies, his glare still intense.  
" I am always honest with you,..." you frown, rather annoyed, " it is you who isn't always honest with me,... however we are not discussing business or work or anything like that tonight,... tonight is about just the two of you,..and I refuse to have it spoiled" you reply sternly.  
He then nods his head slightly, rather in a defeated like way, as another sigh then leaves his lips as he then looks straight back at you.  
" Alright,... not tonight,....but we will come back to this matter" he replies, his eyes again boring into your face.  
You just stare back at him in an unamused way, before grabbing hold of your glass of wine and taking another gulp of it, hoping to now change the conversation.  
" Anyway,...." you then start, as soon as you put your glass back down, making sure that the conversation is swiftly changed as soon as possible, " you still haven't told me where you are taking me on our honeymoon yet,.." you smiled flirtatiously.  
His face then softened and he gave you a small, brief smirk and a soft chuckle left his mouth.  
" And I'm not until the morning after our wedding,... its a surprise" he smiled, before returning to eat his dinner from his plate again.  
" Oh god,...your being way too cruel,....I just can't wait any longer,.." you smiled, as your voice slightly went up an octave with excitement.  
" Huh,.. now you know what it is like to have to wait for something,......" Michael sarcastically remarked back.  
You shot him another unamused look across the dining table from his knowing comment, before you choose to ignore it.  
" Fine,..... I can wait just fine,.. " you then sarcastically smile over at him.  
He rolls his eyes back at you and gives you the smallest of smirks as he shakes his head and then continues to eat his dinner.  
After you both have finished dinner and the dessert that you had specially made for tonight, Michael then goes and sits down on the sofa and lights up a cigarette as you start tidying away.  
" Come here,..." he smiles over at you, gesturing you with his hand to put down the plates and to walk over to where he was sitting.  
You just smile as you put down the plates in your hands and walk over to him as he is gesturing you to do so.  
He gives you the sweetest of smiles, and you give him a wide smile back as you then let yourself just fall into his lap, and he wraps his one arm around you, as he continues to hold his cigarette with his other hand.  
" My beautiful girl,...." he nuzzles into your ear and then he starts nuzzling his mouth into the sensitive part of your neck, making you giggle as it sends shivers down your spine as he places small and soft gentle kisses there.  
" Michael,....." you giggle into his embrace, as you sit pressed against him on his lap.  
" I just want to hold you,..." he whispers, continuing to plant soft kisses along your neck tenderly.  
You fall into his embrace further, smiling to yourself as he continues to kiss the sensitive areas of your neck causing you to giggle out loud.  
He then turns and presses his lips against your lips forcefully, and you lean into him, cupping his face with your one hand as you begin to passionately kiss each other, both of your tongues dancing within each other's mouth.  
You get lost within the kiss, letting out a moan as his one hand finds its way to cup your breast through your dress, as your kiss then intensify's even further.  
Suddenly you hear a loud banging at your front door, causing you to break away from the kiss.  
" Someone just knocked on the door,.." you say against him.  
" Who on earth would it be at this time of night,...?" he replies,... looking rather unenthusiastic about having to open it after it has just broke up quite a heated and intimate moment between the two of you.  
" I don't know,....?" you look back at him puzzled, as you raise yourself up from him slightly.  
Suddenly there was another string of heavy knocks on the door, this time they were banging louder and harder.  
" Oh my god,... they sound desperate" you reply, as you jump up off his lap and go over to answer it.  
You see Michael then get up from the sofa and follow you over to the front door.  
You then open the door and your eyes widen as you see Tommy standing on your doorstep, looking rather distressed, with John standing next to him,... and at the bottom of your house you could make out Arthur sitting in a car with the engine still running.  
" Tommy,....Hi,...." you say, sounding rather shocked at his presence here.  
Tommy had never been to your house before,.. not once.  
In fact, the only other members of the family who had ever been to your own home other than Michael was Polly.  
" Tom,....? " you then hear Michael say, as you suddenly realise that Michael was now standing beside you at the front door.  
" Sorry y/n,...." Tommy answers, sounding rather blunt,  
" I know it's late but I need to speak with Michael,... its rather urgent,..." he continues, his eyes staring right beside you, straight towards Michael.  
You turn to face Michael, who is just returning Tommy's gaze.  
" Um,... yeah,... sure" you reply, looking between them both.  
Michael then just gives you a short glance, before he walks outside to speak to Tommy and John, without saying a single word to you, closing the front door behind him so they were talking in private outside and away from your earshot.  
You then make your way back over to the sofa, and sit there for a while, waiting for him to come back in, and wondering what on earth could be going on for Tommy to come all the way over to your house this late at night just to speak to him.  
Suddenly he walks back through the front door, and you stand up from where you were sitting on the sofa.  
" Is everything ok,... has something happened,...?" you ask him.  
" I've got to go,... I'm sorry" he replies, barely looking over at you as he picks up his jacket and briefcase from the side.  
" What has happened,....?" you try asking him again.  
" It's just business,..." he replies, his eyes still barely looking at you.  
" Seriously,....its the middle of the night,..." you say over to him, before he cuts you off.  
" Look y/n,.... I've got to go,... I'll see you later,..." he replies, and he goes to head out of the door, but you quickly step in front of him before he can do so.  
" What are you up too,.... this isn't normal behaviour,... and you promised me nothing would spoil tonight" you sternly remark to him.  
" I don't have time for this,...." he snaps at you, as he tries to walk around you to walk out the door and leave.  
" No,... what are you up too?" you snap back at him.  
" Not now,... please just move out of the way y/n" he harshly tells you.  
" It's nothing dangerous is it,... please Michael" you voice now changes from anger to an almost pleading tone.  
" Y/N,... not this again,... I've got to go,...now just move out of my way" he snaps at you.  
You just stare back at him, refusing to move, so he then just pushes past you without a single glance and walks out of the front door, slamming it behind him.  
You then hear the engine of the car outside speed off and you fall down onto the sofa, putting your hands over your face, and you burst into tears.  
The evening started off so perfect,... as you then stare over at the beautiful coloured lavander roses in front of you.  
' Love at first sight' he said.  
' I really did fall in love with you from the very first time I laid eyes on you ' he had also said.  
But he had no respect for you whatsoever.  
You suddenly felt a huge wave of anger wash over you as you felt the tears burn in your eyes and all of a sudden you pushed the vase of roses off the table and watched as it smashed against the wall, and the water started to run freely everywhere.  
You then let out another loud cry, and began to sob heavily, as you breathing started to become unsteady from your crying.  
Suddenly there was another knock at the door again, and you pause, trying to catch your breath as you wonder who it could be now.  
You wipe your tears from your red swollen eyes as you start to walk over to the front door.  
Was it Michael?  
Had he come back after all ?  
You open the door only to find nobody standing there.  
Nothing but the darkness of the night looming over the empty street.  
" Hello,..." you sniffle out loud through your heavy sobs, as you walk a few steps out from your house, looking around you but you see absolutely nobody about.  
" Hello,..." you say one more time, looking into the darkness but there seems to be nobody at all there.  
You shrug, as you wrap your arms around your body as the cold night's air goes completely through you and makes you shiver and you turn around to walk back into the house.  
As you finally step through the doorway, you suddenly feel something grab hold of you harshly.  
You go to let out a scream,..but you feel a hand smother your mouth, refusing you to make a sound.  
" Ssshh,.... Ssshh" you hear into your ear, it was a voice of man, but you didn't recognise it.  
Your eyes widen in fear, and you feel your heart race rapidly in your chest, until you suddenly feel a massive pain delivered to your head, and everything then goes completely black.  



	39. Chapter 39

Michael's POV

The next morning -

Michael sighed heavily as he sat in his office and clenched his eyes shut as he brought his hand up against his forehead, as if that could somehow soothe his banging headache and take away his extreme tiredness.  
He had no sleep at all last night, and he was now struggling to stay focused, his tired eyes finally giving in.  
He opened his eyes back open, as if to force himself to stay awake, looking at all of the paperwork on the desk in front of him.  
He needed a fix, something to keep him awake, he hadn't slept in over 36 hours.  
He then opened the locked drawer of his desk.  
His private drawer.  
As the lock turned and he opened it, there was the small packet of white substance sealed in the small plastic bag.  
"The snow", as many people called it.  
It was sitting there in his private drawer, among many other things, such as a gun,...and bullets.  
That should give him the fix he needed until he was finally able to go home and get some proper sleep.  
He carefully spread it out along his desk in front of him in a perfect line, and without hesitation, he snorted it up his nose and into his system.  
He blinked a few times, adjusting himself to the sudden exposure to it as he then wiped his desk clean from any mess.  
He sighed heavily again, as he then looked upon a photograph of his fiancée,... his soon to be wife y/n, that he kept on his office desk.  
He had not taken "snow" in a really long time,... there wasn't really any need too.  
Not since he met her.  
Snow was there to make you feel happy, make you feel alive.  
But she did that for him now.  
Y/N made him feel more happiness and alive than snow ever did and ever could.  
Or anything ever did or could for that matter.  
His brain recalled to last night again.  
The trouble from London had come back to haunt them.  
Tommy had taken down the organisation that they had originally been at war with perfectly.  
As Tommy always did.  
No one could outsmart Tommy,...his elder cousin whom he idolised so much.  
But it turned out that the London organisation had major connections,... as gangsters always do,...and apparently now a vendetta that they now wanted carried out on the Peaky Blinders for destroying their empire.  
As Tommy's and the Shelby's empire continued to grow strong as a result of their losses.  
Michael had only ever been involved in the financial side of it all, as the head accountant of Shelby Company Ltd.  
'Only the legitimate side of the business' his mother had insisted on after he turned eighteen and returned to the family, which Tommy agreed too when he joined the company.  
But that was many years ago now.  
He was no longer that eighteen year old kid that needed protecting, he was now a fully grown man in his 20's and had been back with his family and within the business for quite a number of years now.  
And for a long while now he had been yearning to get involved in the other side of the business.  
The one in which involved his other elder two cousins, Arthur and John, and his friend Isaiah.  
He was sick of being referred to by them all as just a 'pen pusher', or 'the young boss'.  
Like a silly little boy who didn't know how to hold a gun, let alone use a gun like the others.  
He wanted to be like them, he had for a long time.  
He wanted to know what it was like, to do what they did, and how they felt when they did it.  
He wanted to prove himself, and to prove that he was just like them,... and could be just as good as them.  
That he could be useful in all aspects of the business,... all aspects.  
However his mom just would not allow it.  
He was her only son,.... and now, since the death of his sister,... now her only child.  
She feared for his safety constantly.  
As all mother's do and should do, he supposed, however much her constant interference annoyed him.  
And then there was Y/N.  
Who was very soon to become his wife,.... and who was the absolute love of his life.  
Never had he ever loved anyone as much as he loves her.  
She was like this bright shining light within the otherwise dark world in which he moved within.  
She was something so innocent, so beautiful and so pure, within his otherwise dark world.  
And she too, didn't want him getting involved within the other, more dangerous side of the business, just like his mother.  
And y/n, like his mother had also begged him not to get involved with the London war.  
Although, unlike his mother, who fully knew everything about what was going on in London due to Polly's senior poistion in the company, y/n hardly knew anything.  
She just knew that it was business, but the other kind of business that Arthur and John usually dealt with, not Michael.  
She probably still would never of known about it all if she had not of overheard about it that day, when she had been locked inside that cupboard and heard about it all during the meeting.  
It had been his own fault, he had just wanted her so badly that morning,....and fulfilling his own fantasy of having her over Tommy's desk had led to her discovery of what he had been secretly getting involved in for a while now.  
He regretted the moment y/n ever found out.  
He always knew that she would be horrified if she ever did find out that he had been getting involved in the other side of the business.  
He had always believed that as long as she never found out, what she never knew would never harm her.  
He could get away with wanting to get involved, and prove himself to his cousins, without ever upsetting her.  
However y/n now knew.  
She had begged him not to go, not to get involved, she even cried as she begged,... that hurt him more than he thought it would.  
But he stood defiant, tried to block out her tears in front of him even though it was hurting his heart, and left with his cousins anyway.  
He couldn't let his cousins down, why couldn't she understand that.  
And then there was last night.  
He closed his eyes again as he remembered what happened last night.  
He had planned to make it such as special evening for her, after he had originally let her down the first time by having to cancel their first dinner due to having so much work to get though at the office.  
And he still had so much work to get through here at the office, but last night was about putting her first to make it up to her.  
He had gone straight to her home from work, however tired he was, as he couldn't wait just to be able to spend the evening alone with her.  
He loved her so much,.. he knew that he should cherish every moment spent with her.  
And the night had started off so perfect, however much secretly exhausted he actually was from work.  
Although, he had been aching to be intimate with her for so long now.  
He had known right from the start, every since he returned from London that his mom had been behind the whole ' no sex till the wedding night'.  
He knew it had Polly written all over it, whispering in y/n's ear, instucting her on how to control him.  
He had figured that Polly had realised that if he refused to listen to his mother, he would at least listen to y/n,.. after all, he knew that his mom was well aware of how much he loved y/n.  
He assumed that his mother was probably hoping that he would agree to anything y/n asked of him if the only other option was not being able to be sexually intimate with her.  
The whole thing had made him angry, he wasn't going to allow his mom and soon to be wife conspire behind his back and play him like that.  
He had confronted her about it last night, a small part of him deep down hoping that if he did, he would catch her off guard, and that she would be so shocked from his knowledge of her and Polly's little scheme and apologetic, she could of been willing to give up on the sex ban.  
He was aching so much to make love to her, to be able to be inside of her,... it had been killing him.  
But she refused to give in, defending his mother as women do,... 'women always stick together',... his cousins were always telling him that.  
However annoyed he was, he actually found it rather cute what a terrible liar she was.  
He could see the guilt written all over her beautiful face when he confronted her.  
However, he eventually decided to leave it, he hated arguing with her and he didn't want to spoil the evening if she was unwilling to drop Polly in it.  
He had made his point, he knew that she was now well aware that he was no fool, and hopefully she would never try and play him ever again like that in the future.  
And then after that everything was perfect,.... they had been kissing on the sofa,.... and he had the most precious thing in the whole wide world close to him,....and that's when Tommy arrived.  
He never meant to yell at her, shove past her,.... but his cousins needed him.  
And he could not bear her screaming and crying again for him not to go.  
It only made him feel bad,... his loyalty torn between his cousins and his girl.  
He felt that if he just ignored her pleas and cries, it would all be ok again the next time he saw her.  
He would just make it up again to her somehow,... and all would be forgiven.  
He needed to make it up to her again for last night.  
He was more than likely going to fall straight to sleep when he got home from work today, after being awake for almost two days straight, but the next day,...after letting her calm down a bit first as well after last night,..... he would go and visit her at Tommy's.  
Do something romantic for her,... show her that she really was everything to him.  
And hopefully she would forgive him.  
Suddenly his office door swung open, knocking him from his thoughts of how he was going to make it up to her after letting her down again.  
" You look like shit bro,.." Isaiah appeared in the doorway of his office, as he closed the door behind him and made his way over to Michael.  
" Thanks,...I haven't slept for nearly two days straight,... I feel like death" Michael replied, with a huff, as Isaiah took a seat opposite him.  
" Last night was pretty much a disaster,.... all that running around only to still have no lead" Isaiah said, as he started lighting up a cigarette.  
" Probably because it was nothing more than just empty threats,....they won't come back to take on Tommy,...." Michael replied.  
" Maybe so,... maybe they really do know when it's best just to walk away" Isaiah replied.  
" Yeah well,... I have now got a lot of making up to do thanks to last night" Michael then replied.  
" Making up,..... you mean with y/n,..?" Isaiah asked back.  
" Tommy turned up at her house last night to fetch me,.... I had to cancel our Valentine's dinner at hers the other week because I had so much work to do here,.... and last night was suppose to be us rescheduling it,... and me making it up to her for letting her down the first time round" Michael told him.  
" Oh,....., jeez,...." Isaiah replied, giving his mate a painful look as Michael nodded back to him.  
" Excatly,.... all I seem to do is piss her off lately" Michael then replied glumly.  
" Well,... maybe if that's the case,...maybe you should hold off with the whole getting married" Isaiah replied.  
Michael then looks up and gives his friend an unimpressed look.  
" Look,... I really like y/n,...I really do,.. I think she's great,... she's kind, she's sweet, she's funny,..... and she's absolutely gorgeous" Isaiah replies, as Michael then shoots him another unamused look from his last comment.  
" But,... if you two do just keep arguing lately,... and marriage is kind of a forever thing,..." Isaiah continued.  
" We don't argue all of the time,... its only been because of her finding out about this whole London business,..." Michael replies, " and anyway,... I not postponing the wedding just because of a few silly little arguments,... I love her,... she's everything to me,... I would of married her yesterday if I could of,.... there's nothing that I am ever going to want more than her" Michael continued.  
" You really love her,.... huh" Isaiah then replies, with a smirk.  
" I just can't wait until that ring is on her finger and she is officially mine,...... you will know what I mean when you find that perfect girl,....they are all you can think about" Michael softly smiles back at his friend.  
" Man,....what has she done to you,...I miss the old Michael,....before he got so love sick,..." Isaiah then laughs through his cigarette.  
" You know what,... sometimes I do,.. life was so much easier back then" Michael then laughs back with his friend, when suddenly the telephone on his desk starts ringing.  
Isaiah laughs along with his friend, and then jokingly snatches the telephone away from Michael's reach before Michael has the chance to answer it.  
" Hello,... Michael Gray's office,..." Isaiah answers, giving Michael a playful face, causing Michael to roll his eyes and chuckle.  
" Oh,... alright Tommy" Isaiah then replies, as he starts listening to the other end of the phone, "Yes,... Michael's right here" Isaiah then continues, as he then passes Michael the telephone.  
" Its Tommy,.....he needs to speak to you" Isaiah replies, passing Michael the telephone.  
" Hello,..." Michael then answers, as he puts the phone to his ear.  
" Do you know where y/n is,.... she hasn't turned up for work this morning,....she is now nearly two hours late" Tommy replied from the other end of the telephone.  
Michael froze for a second or two, until his eyebrows started to knit together with confusion.  
" She hasn't turned up at yours this morning,...?" Michael replied, as he started to feel his heart race in his chest slightly with worry.  
Y/N would never just not turn up for work, let alone not tell anybody why she wasn't going to be there.  
He suddenly felt a wave of panic rush over him,.... this was really out of character behaviour.  
" No,... she has never not turned up like this before,... she has never even been late before, ... has something happened?" Tommy then asked him.  
" No,.... not that I know of,... the last time I saw her was last night when I left hers with you, John and Arthur" Michael then replied, as he started to feel knots begin to form in his stomach.  
" It's just really unusual that's all,... you haven't heard from her at all,..? " Tommy than asked him again.  
" No,... not since last night when I left with you" Michael replied, as he felt his heart jumping.  
" Maybe her bus has just broken down or something,...there's probably a perfectly reasonable explanation,...we were all just worried,... I'll let you know when she arrives" Tommy replied to him.  
" Yeah,...ok,....let me know,... just so I know that she is ok" Michael replies, before he heard the phone line go dead, and he slowly puts the phone back down in its holder.  
" What's wrong,...?" Isaiah then asks him, as he notices the worried look on Michael's face.  
" It's y/n,.... she hasn't turned up for work at Tommy's this morning,... she should of been there two hours ago" Michael replied, his head lost in thought.  
" Maybe she has just overslept or something,... or maybe she went out last night after you left,... and has gone off with another man,...to teach you a lesson" Isaiah chuckled.  
" Your so not funny,....and y/n would never do that " Michael sternly replied, before than looking concerned, "you don't think that she has been in some kind of accident,...do you?", his eyes widening with fear.  
" I haven't heard about any accidents today,.... mate your over stressing too much,... she will be fine,... maybe her bus has just broken down or something" Isaiah replies.  
" Yeah,... that's what Tommy just said" Michael replied.  
" Oh maybe she is teaching you a lesson for last night,... you know what women are like,...with their little mind games and all that" Isaiah then replied.  
" No,... y/n isn't like that.... and anyway,....she would never just not turn up for work and just abandon Charlie for the day,..... she worships that kid" Michael replies.  
" Mate,... she will be fine,.... she will turn up in a bit and she will be completely fine" Isaiah says, reassuringly.  
" Yeah,... yeah,..." Michael then replies, slowly nodding his head.  
But still,... he was unable to get rid of that horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
What if something terrible has happened to her?? 


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone,  
> I feel like I keep saying this but again,.. I'm so very sorry about the wait.  
> I'm trying to get to a stage where I can update at least twice a week like previously.  
> As always though, thank you all for your lovely comments!!!  
> xx

Michael's POV continued.....

Michael tried to concentrate at work, but however hard he tried, he just couldn't get rid of the constant sick feeling in the pit of his stomach as he couldn't get y/n and the worry about what could of happened to her off his brain.  
He kept trying to tell himself that she was probably fine and that he was just over worrying.  
Tommy was probably right,....it was probably just a late or broken down bus,... just something stupid like that and he was making himself fret over nothing.  
Still, he didn't like the thought that she was probably stranded somewhere right now,... and no doubt stressing about being late and how she was going to get to work.  
But he still had not received a phone call off Tommy or Lizzie saying that she had now arrived ok.  
Maybe Tommy had just forgot,....or maybe Tommy had headed straight to the office as soon as y/n finally got there and Tommy is just going to tell him once he gets here, after all, it had probably made Tommy late for the day as well now, and they do have a meeting in a bit.  
Or maybe Lizzie had just not gotton around to phoning him yet,..... probably because she had not yet stopped talking to y/n once she had finally got there, he then convinced himself.  
Either way, it was probably nothing, he told himself as he then tried his hardest just to stop worrying about her.  
He had not even heard a single word of what Isaiah had been saying since he received Tommy's phone call, his thoughts completely lost with worrying about his girl.  
He needed to snap out of it and get some work done, he told himself again, she is probably completely fine and he could do without a further more backlog of work when he was now going to have to make it up to her again for last night being ruined.

Later on in the day, he made his way to the boardroom for the scheduled meeting.  
He opened the door and as usual he was the first one there.  
However his mother and Ada soon followed him in a few minutes later, chatting and laughing away to each other as they entered the room.  
" What's with the sour face,...?" his mother questioned him, as her eyes fell upon him sitting there as she then laid her stuff down on the table and Ada sat down beside where Polly was standing.  
" Nothing,.... " Michael replied glumly,... "have you heard from Tommy,...?" he then asked her.  
" No,...not since yesterday,.....he said that he would meet us all here at one,... why? " Polly replied.  
" Oh right,.... so you don't know anything about y/n then,..?" Michael then asked them.  
" Y/N,... no why,....?" Polly then asked him puzzled.  
" Has something happened,....?" Ada then asked him.  
" I'm not sure ,.... Tommy called me this morning to say that she hadn't turned up for work and if I knew anything,... she was already two hours late when he rang and he said that he would call me once he had heard from her or if she turned up,... but I haven't heard anything since" he frowned.  
" Oh,....thats unusual" Ada replied, looking concerned and Michael raised his eyebrows in an " I know " kind of response.  
" Yeah,... I'm just concerned, that's all" Michael replied.  
" I'm sure she's completely fine,.... maybe her bus has just broken down or something,...?" Polly then answered.  
" Yeah,... as everyone keeps saying to me" Michael scoffed as he furrowed his eyebrows with annoyance.  
" I'm sure she's fine,...." Ada softly smiled, looking at him as if she could sense his worry from across the table.  
" Yeah,... I'm sure you will hear from her in a bit" Polly then replied, reassuringly.  
Michael then gave them both a weak smile in return,... like he wasn't so convinced as he started removing papers for the meeting from his briefcase on to the table in front of him, as the sick feeling started to return again in the pit of his stomach, even though he was hoping that both his mother and Ada were right.  
If he didn't already know just how much he loved her, how he was feeling right this very moment was telling him.  
He would not be able to breathe again if something bad really had happened to her.  
She was his entire world.  
The beautiful nanny who had caught his eye over a year ago at Tommy's house had not only made him fall so madly in love with her,.... she had now become his whole reason for exisiting.  
He kept replaying the last few words that he had said to her last night over and over again in his head.

' Not this again,....i've got to go,..... now just move out of my way,....'.

That's what he had snapped at her as he then pushed past her while she had been tearful and pleading with him not to go,... but he had just slammed the door behind him without a single glance back at her.  
Fuck,... what if that was going to be the last time that he ever saw her.  
He then told himself not to think so stupidly,.... of course that wasn't going to be the last time that he was ever going to see her.  
What really could of happened to her, he then convinced himself.  
There were no news of any accidents in the lunchtime paper or radio.  
Maybe she had just woken up ill,... or her mother was sick,.. .. and their phone was broke so she couldn't get hold of Tommy.  
Or maybe everyone was right and her bus has just broken down like vehicles do all of the time.  
Suddenly the door opened and Arthur and John walked in, sitting themselves down around the table as they talked loudly about something.  
" Where's Tommy,... we thought that we were late?" Arthur asked around the table.  
" We don't know,... we think he must be running late,...?" Polly replied to him.  
" Oh right,.... and what's with your sour face,....?" Arthur then asked Michael, as he turned and looked over towards him.  
Michael just glared back at him but Ada spoke up before he could answer the question.  
" Y/N hasn't turned up for work today,... and no one has heard from her since last night,.. " Ada replied to Arthur.  
" Maybe she is just sick or something,...." Arthur replied.  
" Ay,..... you haven't got her pregnant have you,...? " John then started to laugh, " tut tut Michael,.... gone and got her knocked up a few months before your wedding day,... " he then smirked through his laughter.  
Arthur then joined John with laughing, as Michael stared at them both stony faced.  
" She's not pregnant,... " Michael replied coldly.  
" Not that you know of,... " Arthur then replied laughing.  
" Alright boys,.... he's really worried about her,...its not like y/n to just not turn up for work without saying anything,..." Polly then replied.  
" Or maybe she's finishing with you,....she did look pretty pissed off with you last night,..." John chuckled.  
Michael sighed heavily as he glared back angrily at John from his comment.  
" She's not,..... me and y/n are fine,...." Michael sternly replied.  
Suddenly Tommy walks through the door, looking quite stressed as he puts his briefcase down on the table.  
" Sorry i'm late,.... been a bit of a hectic morning" Tommy says, as he opens up his briefcase.  
" Has y/n arrived at yours yet,...?" Michael asks him abruptly.  
Tommy looks over at Michael, and sighs heavily before sitting down at the top of the table.  
" Legitimate business first please, Michael,..." Tommy replies, looking away from him.  
Polly then gives Tommy a puzzled look, before looking back over at her concerned looking son who just sighs heavily in response.  
There is a short silence, before Tommy then starts asking questions about the legitimate side of the business,... with everyone answering at their department, before he then starts addressing the non legitimate side of the business.  
" Right,...." Tommy sighs, " about last night,....no one has heard anything I take it,..." he address's everyone around the table.  
" I don't think that they have even travelled to Birmingham,.... nothing but Chinese whispers,..." Arthur scoffed.  
" Yeah,... Johnny Doggs is keeping his ear to the ground but nothing,... they're gone Tom,..." John then replies.  
Tommy then starts nodding his head as he looks around the table.  
" Yeah,... I haven't heard anything either" Tommy then replies, before then standing up, like he was in a rush,  
" Right,... I've got to go,....Michael, can I have a quick word, please" he then asks.  
" Yeah,... sure" Michael replies, his eyes wide as he clears his throat.  
Polly, Arthur, John and Ada then all stand up, and look around at each other before then leaving the room, leaving just Tommy and Michael alone.  
" Is everything alright,... is it y/n,.. is she ok,..?" Michael then stands up and asks him, looking over at Tommy in an alarmed manner.  
" That is what I was going to ask you,.... she still hadn't turned up when I left" Tommy then replies, " I've had to leave Charlie with Mary to come and attend this meeting,... and she hasn't telephoned us either,...Lizzie's is getting really concerned,..."  
" Well, I haven't heard from her all day either, ... like I said,... not since I left hers last night" Michael replied.  
" I just didn't know if she had contacted you,...?" Tommy then asks.  
" No,... no,..." Michael replied, his eyes widening.  
" It's just so unusual of her,..." Tommy then replied.  
" That's what is concerning me,... she would never do this" Michael replies, running his hand across his face.  
" You and her,...." Tommy asks, before he pauses,  
" you both haven't fallen out have you,.."  
" No,....we're fine,... well,....she was pretty pissed off with me when I left her's last night as last night was actually me rescheduling a night with her that I had previously cancelled,.... but we have had argument's before in the past and she has never not turned up for work because of them,... she would never do that,... her job is so important to her and I know how much she loves it" Michael replies.  
" Ok,.... try not to worry,... I'm sure it's nothing,... maybe she has woken up sick or something,... or something has happened to her mom and she just can't get hold of us,... maybe their telephone doesn't work or something" Tommy replied.  
" But she wasn't sick last night,... and her mom had been stopping over at her Aunt's house so we had the place to ourselves for the evening,.... it just doesn't make any sense" Michael replied.  
" Look, I'm heading back home now,... she could of already arrived while I have been gone,... I'll call you as soon as I have heard anything,..." Tommy then replies,.. as he picks up his briefcase to leave.  
" Ok,... ok,..." Michael nods his head as he let's out heavy deep breaths.  
" It's probably nothing,.... I'm sure she's fine,... " Tommy then nods at him reassuringly, before heading out of the door.  
Michael then let's out another heavy breath once Tommy leaves the boardroom and he is alone in there.  
That was it,... he was getting really concerned.  
There was just this feeling inside of him telling him that something really wasn't right.  
It was like a huge ache in his heart,... like something terrible had happened to her, and he just couldn't shake it off.  
He headed straight back to his office, and sat down, staring at the paperwork in front of him but unable to focus on it.  
He didn't want to admit it,... but he felt scared.  
He just needed to hear from her,... just so he knew that she was ok and that it was just something silly like a broken down bus or she had just woken up ill and her telephone was broke.  
He would feel so much better if he could just hear her voice.  
Suddenly his office door opened, and his mother walked in looking worried.  
" What did Tommy say,... is y/n alright,...?" Polly asks him as she closes the door behind her.  
" She still hadn't turned up when he left to come here,...and him and Lizzie haven't heard from her at all" Michael replies.  
He watches his mother sigh in front of him, and he decides to let his guard down.  
" I'm really worried mom,... what if something has happened to her" Michael sighs.  
" I'm sure she's fine,..." Polly replies.  
" But this just isn't like her,... something bad must of happened" Michael replies back.  
" Look,... have you tried calling her house,..?" Polly then asks.  
" No,... as I thought that her bus had just broken down and she was probably stuck somewhere or that she was probably already at Tommy's by now,... until Tommy arrived and said that she wasn't" Michael replies.  
" Right,... call her home line,...maybe she can't ring out but we can ring in,..." Polly replies, picking up the telephone on his office desk to her ear.  
Michael then selected the numbers on the dial from his memory as he then watches his mother,... secretly praying inside that y/n answers to her and that everything is ok.  
But Polly just stands there, and it feels like forever until she then shakes her head at him and passes him back the telephone.  
" No,... its just ringing out,.." Polly then sighs.  
" This just doesn't feel right,.... I need to know that she is ok,..." Michael replies.  
" Look,.... calm down,... maybe something happened and she was just running late,.... she could already be at Tommy's by now,..." Polly replies, reassuringly.  
" I just can't wait around not knowing,... I feel like I'm going crazy" Michael then replies, as he runs his fingers through his hair.  
" How much sleep did you get last night,..?" Polly then asks him, looking concerned.  
" None,... but I'm beyond tired now,.... I just need to know that she is ok,... then i'll go home and get some sleep,... and then come back to all of this work later on" Michael replies, as he shoves it aside on the table.  
" Look,.... let's head over to Tommy's now,.... hopefully she'll be there by now and she'll probably laugh at you for making such a huge fuss,... and then you can go and get some sleep in one of Tommy's spare bedrooms while we're there,.... but I'm driving,... as your in no fit state to drive,... come on,... " Polly orders him.  
Michael then gives his mom a weak smile in return as he gets up from his chair and follows her out.  


Michael follows his mom into Tommy's house once they have pulled up outside.  
' Please let her be here' he pleads to himself as his eyes then dart around everywhere in Tommy's huge foyer once they both enter the house.  
Suddenly he hears the quick patter of feet and all of a sudden Charlie runs around the corner.  
Michael then sees the little boy's eyes light up as he sees both him and Polly and his smile widens at them both.  
" Y/N,..... Y/N,...." Charlie shouts and giggles, as he runs over towards them both.  
' Thank god,.... she must be here' Michael then thinks to himself, as he breathes in a heavy breath of relief, but as the child approaches closer to them both, he then notices Charlie's face drop slightly as the child then appears to look somewhat annoyed.  
Suddenly Mary then appears from around the corner, and swiftly makes her way over to the three of them as if to grab hold of the child.  
" Y/N,...." Charlie says out loud again, but now in a distressed like manner, and this time he points at Michael as he says it.  
" Charlie,.... stop running around,.... your going to have an accident" Mary then yells over to him, as she then takes the boy by the hand.  
" Where's y/n,...? " Charlie then asks again, his face and tone of voice moody, as he then looks back up towards Michael to answer the question.  
" This is what he has been like all day,..." Mary then moans to Polly and Michael.  
" Y/n still isn't here,....?" Polly then quickly asks Mary.  
" No,... no one still hasn't heard anything from her" Mary replies.  
" No one still hasn't heard from her,..." Michael then abruptly replies,... as he looks towards his mom with wide alarmed eyes.  
" No,... Tommy and Lizzie are getting really worried,..." Mary replies, " and Charlie has been whining all day for her,..."  
" Something just isn't right,.... I know it,.... I'm going to head to hers now,.... see if she is there,..." Michael then says to his mom.  
" Michael,....wait,....." Polly yells at him as he turns to head out the door, " At least let me drive you there,... you've had no sleep,... you could have an accident".  
Michael then turns and just nods at his mother in agreement, and as they turn to leave, a heavily pregnant Lizzie then appears from around the corner.  
" Pol,...Michael,...." Lizzie shouts after them.  
They both turn around, and Michael can see from Lizzie's face that she looks distressed.  
" We were just about to phone you both but we heard your voices from out here,... can Tommy have a word with you both in the office,.... its important,.." Lizzie says.  
" Is everything ok,...?" Polly asks her as she walks over towards Lizzie.  
Lizzie gives Polly the weakest of smiles, and she then looks over at Michael, and looks at him sympathetically.  
" What is it,....? " Michael replies, in a cold dreaded manner.  
" Just,.... please,.... he needs you both in the office,..." Lizzie replies, as she walks into the room for them both to follow her.  
Michael walks in first abruptly, followed by Polly who then closes the door behind them both.  
" It's y/n isn't it,.... has something happened to her? " Michael asks, almost pleading like.  
Lizzie just stands there, and looks over at Tommy who is standing behind his desk.  
Tommy then gives Michael a long and serious like stare,... like he didn't know how to reply to his question.  
" Tommy,..... what is it,...?" Polly asks him, in an almost dreading way.  
" Look,... I need you both to stay calm,.." Tommy replies, as his serious eyes then travel back towards Michael.  
" Tom,.... what is it,... is she ok,...she's not,.... she's not ok,... is she? "Michael replies, as his voice begins to break.  
Tommy then just stares back at Michael again.  
" Thomas,...?" Polly then says, raising her voice at her nephew.  
" They have her,...." Tommy then replies, with a deep and heavy regretful sigh, as he looks down at his desk.  
Michael and Polly then just stare back at him, wide eyed and almost confused, like they didn't understand what he meant.  
" I'm sorry Michael,... the gang from back in London,..." Tommy sighs, " they made contact with us twenty minutes ago,.,... they have her Michael,..... they have y/n,......"


	41. Chapter 41

Back to Reader's POV 

You slowly try and open your eyes, but your eyelids feel too heavy and painful to do so, and you struggle to try to keep them open, as you try to look around you.  
However your vision is all blurred, and there is such a painful sensation in the back of your eyes, as well as in the back of your head.  
God,... if feels almost as if you have been asleep for days.  
You try to remember what your last memory was or even your last thought, as your painful eyes dart all around you as you wonder what the hell was going on.  
God.... your head hurts so much!!!!  
It was like a terrible banging sensation inside the back of your skull.  
And you had a horrible taste in your mouth, almost like a metal taste.  
What time was it,... what day was it even,.... and where the hell were you?  
You try to sit yourself upwards, but something was stopping you,.... it was as if you were being restrained by something.  
At the sudden feeling of yourself being trapped by something, your eyes seem to respond a little better, opening themselves up from your sudden sense of panic.  
You were definitely not at home in your own bed,.... and you were definitely not at Michael's either,.... you were in a strange room,.....  
Oh my god,....!!!!  
It suddenly all came back to you.  
Michael being around at your house for dinner,....and then Tommy, Arthur and John turning up at yours in the middle of the night,.... you and him then arguing,.... and him then leaving with them,.....  
You had cried, and then chucked the vase of roses he had brought you against the wall.  
It was all coming back to you now.  
And then you remember that there was another knock at the door.  
You had hoped that it had of been Michael,... but there had been no one there, but as you had turned to go back into the house,... someone had grabbed you.  
They must of hit you on the head,.... that's right,....you remember such a painful heavy force striking you on your head.  
That's why it is hurting so much now.  
Fuck,.... fuck, fuck, fuck!!!!!  
Where the fuck were you right now?  
" Michael,..." you whimpered, as you tried to stand up to compose yourself, but again something tugged you backwards.  
It was a rope of some kind.....around your hands,....and around your ankles,.... and your eyes widen in fear as you see that you were also being tied up around a chair that you were currently sat on.  
Oh my god,.... your brain then begins to go into overdrive.  
You start to hear your heart thumping so loud and fast that you think it may jump out and leave your chest at any moment.  
Oh god,... what the hell was happening?  
You try to convince yourself that you must be still asleep and this was nothing but an awful horrible nightmare.  
But the terrifying realisation hits you that it definitely wasn't.  
Because you can now remember that a hand smoothered your mouth from behind of you when you had walked back into your house, and then that cold voice of a man behind you shushing you to be quiet before you were struck from behind, and everything had gone black after that.  
This was definitely was no nightmare.  
You were definitely wide awake.  
And this was really fucking happening!!!  
Your eyes start to well up with tears, as you shuffle harshly in the chair you were being tied up in as an effort to free yourself, but it was no use,... you were too tightly restrained.  
" Oh god,...." you cry out, as your tears start streaming down your face in fear.  
Suddenly you straighten yourself up, your eyes wide and startled, as you feel someone approach you.  
" Hello,...." you sniffle, your voice trembling in fear.  
" Finally,.... sleeping beauty is at last awake,..." you hear the voice of a man say out loud, in a sarcastic like manner.  
Your eyes focus on where the voice was coming from, and you see a man then sit down in front of you, on the empty chair positioned right in front of you.  
" Hello,...." he then says to you, before then giving you a slight smile.  
He was a young looking man, probably in his late 20's or early 30's in age.  
He was of average height and average build, and was wearing a nice and expensive looking tailored suit.  
He was staring intently at you, his eyes boring into your face in an intense, off putting manner.  
However, you just stare back at him, as you feel yourself tremble inside from the fear of wondering what the hell he was planning to do to you.  
You notice his hair,...it was short and dark brown yet it was full and was neatly parted and then swept back from his face with gel in a perfectly grommed manner.  
Like how the male movie stars you had seen at the pictures did their hair.  
His face could be described as attractive by many, with intense dark brown eyes that were penetrating your face fiercely and a sharp jaw line.  
" Please,... please don't hurt me,..." you begin to sob.  
" Ssshh,... Ssshh,..." he replies, his voice soft and calming, but with an off putting smile on his face.  
He then extends his hand out to touch your face, and he touches it gently, softly rubbing the tears from your face.  
You flinch a little from his touch, and you sense he notices this, as he then sits back on his chair and sighs as he moves his hand away from you.  
" You think i'm really capable of hurting a woman,...?" he suddenly asks you, his voice then turning dark and angry.  
" I,.... I,... I don't know,..." you tremble, your eyes still filling up, " please,.... why am I even here,....?"  
" Yes,... I'm sorry about this,.... but you just happened to fall rather perfectly,... straight into our lap," he replies, his lips turning into a smile again.  
" I,.... I don't understand, " you cry.  
" Your one of their girls,... aren't you,..? "he then asked you, his voice turning serious.  
" One,...one of their girls,... I,... I don't understand,...? " you sob back.  
" The Peaky Blinders,...the scum of Birmingham,.... and you are the girl of Tommy's cousin aren't you,....Michael,...? " he asks you, raising his eyebrows at you.  
Oh my god,... it begins to dawn on you.  
You were here because of them,....Michael and his family.  
They must of followed Tommy, John and Arthur to your home.  
And abducted you after they had watched Michael leave with them.  
You don't know what to reply,... what the hell was he going to do to you because of your connection to them.  
" Look,... please,.... please don't hurt me,... I haven't done anything,... please" you plead to him, tears rolling down your face.  
" Sshhh,...." he shakes his head, " Please stop with the crying,....you will ruin your pretty face with your tears,... and your face is far too pretty to ruin,... isn't it...? " he then smiles at you.  
You look back at him, trying to stop yourself from crying so you didn't continue to piss him off, just in case he then lashed out at you in temper.  
He had just kidnapped you after all,... you had no idea what he was capable of,... after all, he was capable of abducting a person.  
" I'm,...I'm sorry,..." you say, biting down on your lip to try to stop your cries.  
"Your so sweet,.... I just don't understand it,...?" he then says, smiling at you.  
You then notice his voice..., his accent was different,... it didn't sound like he came from around here.  
" You don't understand what,...? " you then reply.  
" You,.... your just so,...." he pauses, and you notice that his eyes scan you up and down intensely, and almost admirably,... " your just,.. so nice,.... what on earth is a girl like you hanging around with the peaky blinders for,..?" he asks you, shaking his head in disapproval.  
You then look down,... unable to answer his question.  
You can however feel him staring at you intensely, his intense eyes refusing to leave your face.  
" Y/N,.... your name is y/n,.... isnt it,...? " he then asks you, as he moves his chair forward, to sit even closer to you.  
You then look back up at him, and your and his eyes both meet, and you nod your head.  
" Beautiful name,.... for such a beautiful young lady,... " he smiles, and you feel his eyes linger all over you again.  
He then reaches his hand out again to you, and runs his fingers through your hair.  
You feel yourself shake inside from fear,... as he then pushes back the loose strands of hair from around your face, and he then just smiles at you.  
" Now,... how did a thug like Michael Gray end up getting such a prize as you,...." he scoffs, shaking his head again in disaproval.  
You stay silent again, sniffling a little from your scared, silent sobs, and you hear him sigh heavily from your lack of response.  
" Don't worry,.... we will have plenty of time for you to tell me why such a good girl like yourself has ended up in the hands of the peaky blinders," he smiles at you,  
" as you and I will be spending a lot of time together in the days to come,..." he grins.  
" Please,.... " you then sob, " my,.... my mother,.... I have a mother,... please,... she will be worried sick about me,....please,....if anything was to happen to me,... " you cry,...before he then gently puts his fingers to your lips, to silence you.  
" I've told you,..." he then speaks,..." no more crying,... it makes me angry,... very angry,... " he says, his pirecing eyes boring into yours.  
You then try to stop, but your body is still trembling.  
" And I have told you already,... do you really think me capable of hurting a lady,...?" he asks, running his fingers through your hair again.  
You then shake your head in front of him, but you can feel the wet tears still streaming down your face.  
" However,... Y/N,... I do need you to do a favour for me,... now that we are friends,..." he smiles, " we are friends,... aren't we,...?" he then asks you.  
You decide it was best just to nod, and go along with everything he was saying, so again, you start to nod your head.  
And as you start to nod,... you then see his eyes widen and a smile beam across his face.  
" Good,... good,.." he nods back at you, " Now,... I need to make an important phonecall,...and I need you to help me,...ok,...I'm going to need you to comply with everything I tell you to,...ok,... and as long as you do,... no one will hurt you,... ok,...?" he continues to nod.  
" O-,... ok,..." you nod back through sniffles.  
" Good girl,... " he smiles at you, as he then goes over to the door, and two strange men then suddenly enter the room.  
They were large in height and size, and looked absolutely terrifying.  
" Please,... what are you doing?" you ask him.  
" I'm going to call your friend,.... Tommy Shelby,...?" he replies to you, as he then picks up a telephone.  
" Your,... your calling Tommy,...?" you reply.  
" He needs to know that you are here, doesn't he,..? " he replies, " and anyway, I'm pretty sure that your boyfriend will be starting to get worried about where you are,...and you don't want that now, do you,...? " he asks you.  
" No,... " you shake your head, as he leans in forward into your face.  
" Now,...all I need you to do is when you speak to Tommy,...is just to confirm to him that we have you,... nothing else,... no sudden outbursts,... no describing where you are,... just that you are with us now, .." he smiles, and then all of a sudden, the two men with him then raise both their guns at your head.  
You flinch, as the tears begin to stream down your face again.  
God,.... we're you going to die.  
" Please,...." you sob.  
" Just do it ok,...and then we can put this behind us,... and then start enjoying getting to know one another" he smiles at you.  
You just nod through your sobs as he then orders you to tell him Tommy's telephone number.  
You do as your told, and watch him as he starts dialing the number.  
" Thomas Shelby,...." he suddenly says, grinning down the phone, " I'm hoping that I do not have to tell you who this is,..."  
There was then a long silence, where you assumed Tommy must of been replying to him.  
" Actually,... this is just more of a courtesy call,.....its actually just to let you know that I have something of yours" he replies.  
He then puts the phone against your ear, and you feel the guns beside you press firmly against the skin of your temple.  
" Tommy,..." you sob.  
" Y/N,.... y/n is that you,...?" you hear him reply down the other end of the phone.  
" Tommy,...Tommy, I can't say much,... they have me,... and they have guns to my head,...please Tommy,.... please help me" you sob, before he snatches the phone away from you.  
" Alright,.... that's enough" he says back down the phone to Tommy, " I'll give this to you straight,.... you took something from me,...so now I have took something from you,... so tell that cousin of yours to transfer all of the money that you stole from me back to me in the next twenty four hours,.... or he will never see his girl again,... and I am not bluffing,... twenty four hours,..." he replies, before slamming the phone down.  
He then signals to the two men to lower their guns, which they do, before they then leave the room.  
" Now,... that wasn't so hard,... was it,...? he says to you, his face now looking sympathic at you as he then sits on the chair in front of you again.  
You just shake your head at him.  
" My name is Eddie,... by the way" he then tells you and smiles.  
You just nod your head, and he sighs heavily again at your lack of response.  
" Look,.. I know your scared" he then says to you, " but really,... you need to calm down,....as me and you, beautiful.... we are going to be spending quite a lot of time together from now on,..."


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 42!!!  
> The next chapter will be up in a few days, as I have finally managed to catch up with myself to now be able to post once or twice a week again like before.  
> Again, thank you so much for the wonderful messages.  
> They mean so much, you guys are amazing!!!  
> xxx

You find yourself just sitting there in the darkness of the room, all tied up, your mind frantic and erratic with terrifying thoughts.  
You literally had nothing else to do other than to just sit there and think.  
You were all alone with nothing but your thoughts as your mind raced frantically.  
You were here because of your connection to the Shelby family,... ' the peaky blinders ' as they were famously known.  
You were here because of Michael,... because you were Michael's girlfriend.  
Which in their eyes,... obviously made you one of them.  
Even though you had never ever got involved with any parts of their business before,... not ever in your entire life.  
But that obviously didn't matter to these people.  
You were still obviously one of them in their eyes.  
You kept hearing your best friend Maggie's words over and over again in your head.  
She had always warned you that this would happen one day.  
She warned you how dangerous it was to be with a peaky blinder.  
That you would end up a casualty through your involvement and assosciation with them.  
You also worry about the moment she hears about what has happened to you.  
As well as your poor mother.  
They were going to be so scared and terrified.  
The thought of them worrying out of their minds for you brings tears to your eyes again as you feel one tear slowly escape the rim of your eye and begin to fall down your wet cheek.  
And then you think of Michael.  
You wonder if he knows about what has happened to you by now.  
You both had left it on such bad terms last night when he had left yours to follow Tommy, John and Arthur.  
Which was probably how you had ended up here in the first place.  
They must of followed them to yours and got you after they had left.  
God,... how you wanted Michael more than anything right now.  
A part of you were angry at him,... so angry with him,...with them all.  
Michael and his family were the reason you were here,... the reason your life was in danger right now.  
But the other part of you just wanted to run right into his arms,... to have him hold you right now, to be holding and kissing you in his warm, safe arms and not to be tied up all alone in this place instead.  
You were so scared that they were going to kill you,... what if you were never going to see him ever again.  
You were never going to see your mom, your best friend, or Michael ever again.  
You could die right here.  
You didn't know who these people were,... what they were capable of.  
Your tears fall even more faster down your face as you silently sob at your horrid thoughts.  
It was amazing what really goes through your head when you think that you are about to die.  
You'll never see little Charlie again,... never see him grow up.  
You'll never see Lizzie again,... or ever see her new baby.  
You could die before he or she was even born.  
You'll never see Polly again,... or Ada.  
Linda or Esme.  
Life will just go on without you.  
Maggie's life will,... even though you two had been best friends since the first day of school.  
You would slowly become just memories to her, of her long gone best friend who she so desperately warned against not getting involved with gangsters.  
Like a sad story she would maybe tell her own future daughter one day as a warning against dangerous men, a sad story of her one time best friend whom she lost when she was younger through loving the wrong type of man.  
And then there was your mother,....who would never get over losing her beloved daughter.  
The pain it would cause her,...it would destroy her.  
And then there was Michael.  
You couldn't help but wonder how he would feel if you were killed.  
Would he grieve for you,.... would he blame himself for your death?  
But the worst of it was,... would he in time eventually move on with his life.  
Forget all about you over time,... meet someone else,... fall in love with her,...marry her when it should of been you that had been his wife.  
And then spend the rest of his life with another instead of with you,....and you eventually just fade away into nothing more than just old memories to him that he remembers from time to time.  
He was the love of your life,.... he was everything in your life if you died right here and now.  
But you could become nothing more than just a few pages in his life if you really were to die right now.  
You could feel a lump develop in your throat at such thoughts as you cry even heavier from all of the horrible thoughts that were rapidly racing through your mind.  
You just wanted to be back home,.... back with him.  
God,...if you really did get out of here in one peace,...how you would never argue with him ever again.  
You would just spend the rest of your life holding him close to you.  
You just wanted to be able to see him again,...to be able to marry him,... and spend the rest of your life with him.  
If you were really going to get out of this alive.  
You then suddenly hear noise coming from behind the door, and you feel your blood freeze in your veins.  
You then see the door slightly open, and all you manage to see at first is bright light suddenly blinding into the room, making your eyes whince from the sudden exposure to the brightness of it after being kept in the dark for so many hours.  
However, as your eyes slowly begin to adjust to it, you then notice a figure of a man enter the room.  
It was him again,... Eddie.  
" Hello beautiful,..." he smiles widely at you, almost in a mocking and smug kind of way, as he makes his way over to where you were tied up.  
" I was started to get worried about you,....are you thirsty,... hungry,... need the toliet at all yet,...?" he asks you, his voice seeming to be sincere.  
You just stare back at him, and you feel the fear of him wash over you and you find yourself too scared to even reply to him.  
" Come on,... you must be getting hungry and thirsty by now,... you have been locked up in here for nearly 48 hours,..." he smiles at you.  
He then reaches out to a nearby table and picks up a glass of water in his hand.  
" Please,.... at least drink something,... " he then asks you, giving you a look of concern that you were unsure whether he was being genuine or not.  
However, you give him a small nod, seeing that you were extremely thirsty and your mouth so very dry and sore.  
He then smiles sweetly at you, and raises the glass of water to your mouth.  
He gently places the rim of the glass against your lips, and slowly allows you to take small sips of the water.  
" There you go,...." he softly says, as he then tenderly runs his fingers through your hair, almost in a caring like manner.  
You mutter a quiet "thank you" and you see him smile at your sudden speech.  
" You must drink,... I don't want you getting ill" he smiles, as he places the glass back down.  
As you begin to listen to him speak, you begin to realise his accent.  
It was a London accent,... and it all begins to make sense.  
This had something to do with the business that they got involved with in London.  
The one you begged him not to go and get involved in.  
" Look,... I know that this,...situation,... isn't nice,... not for anyone,..." he begins to speak again, " but I have had no other option,....they have given me no choice."  
" They,...?" you quietly reply.  
" The Peaky Blinders,...." he replies, raising his eyebrows at you, like he was surprised you had to ask.  
" They are extremely bad people you know,..." he then continues to say to you.  
You just look back at him, and you must of done so with an confused expression on your face as he then let's out an amused laugh.  
" I suppose you assume that I must be as well though... to have you tied up against your will like this,..." he chuckles.  
You give him an unsure smile, and slightly shrug your shoulders the best that you can.  
" I can't say that the thought hasn't exactly crossed my mind,... " you softly reply.  
He let's out another amused chuckle, and then smiles at you admirably, his gaze lingering upon you for some time.  
" I am so intrigued by you,... you know" he then speaks, " Why a girl like you would associate herself with such men as the peaky blinders,..." he continues, staring into your eyes intently.  
" A girl like me,...? " you quietly reply.  
" I don't know what it is about you,..... but you just seem so,..... nice,..... not like someone who would get involved with one of them" he replies.  
You give him a slight smile, not knowing how to reply to such a comment.  
" I want to know more about you,.... how a girl like you has ended up with one with them,...? " he asks, and you then see his eyes trail down to look at your tied hands, and you see him notice your engagement ring.  
" Your engaged,.... to him? " he then asks you, as his eyes then make their way back to your face, and you see a look a disapproval in them, as well as in his voice.  
For some reason he gives you the impression that he is angry and annoyed by this, which startles you slightly, so you just slightly nod in response,... again not wanting to irritate him into doing something to harm you.  
You still did not trust this man at all.  
" That's,..... a shame" he replies with a heavy sigh, after pausing for a few moments.  
However, you still give no reaction to any of his comments, as you continue to just stare at him intently, still feeling the fear of him throughout your veins.  
" You deserve so much better,...than him" he then says, as he then sits himself down more comfortably in front you, like he wasn't planning on leaving the room anytime soon.  
You feel him continue to stare at you intently, and you then hear him sigh heavily again.  
" You know,.... this is going to be a lot more easier if we become friends,.... and maybe manage to have a conversation with each other to pass the time" he replies, leaning forward to meet your eyes and smiling at you slightly.  
" Sorry,...." you start to reply, not knowing what to really say to him, " it's just that,......" you then pause.  
" Your scared,....?" he finishes your sentence and stares at you.  
You nod your head again, but this time you refuse to cry, even though you really want too as you hold back your tears from falling.  
" I do feel terrible for putting you through this,.... I really want you to know that" he then says, and his face looks sympathetically at you but you can not tell whether it was just an act he was playing or whether he was being serious, " and maybe in time,....you will realise why I had to do this and you will be able to forgive me as we hopefully move on from this,..." he continues to say.  
You just nod again,... not really understanding what he means.  
" So come on,...." he then says, his voice raising slightly, " how did such a sweet, lovely girl like you end up being engaged to one of the peaky blinders,...? "he then asks you again, as he looks at you intriguingly.  
" I,.... I got a job,.. working as a Nanny to Tommy's son Charlie,.... after his first wife, Charlie's mother, passed away " you begin to say.  
You then watch him as he sits up more straight in his chair, before he leans more forward into you.  
" She was killed wasn't she,.... shot by a bullet meant to kill Thomas Shelby? " he then asks you.  
" Yes,.... I mean, I wasn't there,... I didn't know the family back then,... but yes,... that is what I believed happened" you reply.  
" So that is how you met the Shelbys,... by becoming their nanny?" he asks you.  
" Yes,... not long after Grace died,...but my job is to just look after Charlie,...nothing else" you reply.  
" So, how did you end up being engaged to his cousin,...?" he asks you, and again, you sense a tone of disapproval in his voice.  
" How,.... how did I,...what do you mean?" you reply.  
" Why would such a sweet and innocent girl like yourself get involved with one of them,...and agree to marry one of them" he replies, and he glares at you with a look of disgust.  
" I,.... I,..." you start to reply, " Tommy's family are at the house a lot of the time,.... so I suppose I just got to know them all quite well,.... and after about six months of me working there,... Michael asked me out,.." you reply.  
" I bet he did,.... " he scoffs slightly, and you watch as he suddenly goes to take something out of his pocket.  
You flinch, until you see that it is just a cigarette and you watch him as he lights it up in front of you.  
" So, how long have you two now been together,...?" he asks again, his eyes piercing you.  
" A year,...." you reply.  
" And how did he ask you to marry him,...?" he then asks you, his questions coming sharp and fast, and in a cold like manner.  
" Um,.... it was one night at his,... after Arthur's birthday party,.... we had all been out for Arthur's birthday with his family and after we got back to his,....he proposed" you reply, unsure why he wanted to know this.  
" Why did you say yes,...you didn't have too?" he replies, as if you had done something wrong by saying yes to marrying the man that you loved.  
You stare back at him blankly.  
You said yes because you love Michael, more than anything else in the world, and you couldn't think of anything you wanted more than to marry him.  
That was your truthful answer, you thought.  
However, your survival instant suddenly kicked in.  
You were getting the strong sense of his disapproval and hatred of your relationship with Michael.  
And by saying your honest answer, you feared it could enrage him even further.  
So you decided to think fast of a way to survive his anger towards your involvement with the Shelby's.  
You needed nothing more than to return back home to Michael safely.  
" I,.... I just did,... he is my boyfriend" you reply.  
" It doesn't mean that you have to marry him,..." he then replies.  
You shift nervously where you sat, trying to think faster of what to reply to try and not displease him even further.  
" You didn't even have to say yes to going out with him in the first place,... you knew what he was,.... what they all are" he continues, " but then again, I suppose his cousin is your boss,.... and you needed your job,... so I suppose that you had to say yes whether you wanted to or not,... to keep your job" he then says looking deeply at you, as if he wanted you to agree with him.  
" You didn't want to upset him and lose your job,... after all, he is Tommy's cousin,.... like you didn't want to upset him by rejecting his marriage proposal,... again, he is your boss's cousin,... again, you could of more than likely lost your job if you upset him by saying no" he says, " this is how good girls like yourself get into these bad situations,... by no fault of your own,... just by being so beautiful and sweet,..." he continues, as he then reaches out to you and runs his fingers slowly through your loose hair, "of course he would of fell head over heels for you when you started working there,...what man wouldn't,... and of course, you had no other choice but to say yes to his advantages, and to dating such a criminal or you could of lost your job,... the same with your engagement,... if you had of said no to him", he says, as he then lightly strokes the side of your face with his thumb, almost delicately.  
You freeze as he touches your face,.... what on earth was he doing!  
" You know,.... I haven't got anyone,.... special,... in my life" he then says, as he continues to stroke the skin of your cheek with his thumb in a soft and tender manner.  
" I'm always so busy with work,... and all of my businesses,...and all of the women that I have ever been with,... all they seem to want from a man like myself is to shower them with my money and give them the good life,.." he smiles, " whereas you,.... you don't seem to be like that at all,... you don't seem like the type of woman who would just be with a man for money and materialistic goals,... you seem like one of the good ones,... one of the few good ones" he says, as he then runs his fingers through your hair once more.  
You freeze again,....as he finally let's go of your hair.  
" How did Michael Gray get to be so lucky,..." he then retorts, bitterness and envy within his tone of voice,  
" the boy is nothing but a wrong 'un,... his whole family are,... and yet, he manages to end up with a girl like you" he snorts, " like I said, a woman like you could do so much better,..." he continues, as he inhales from his cigarette, his eyes however refusing to leave your face.  
Finally, you find the courage to speak.  
" He is a good man,... " you manage to answer.  
He glares back at you, anger in his eyes, like that wasn't what he wanted to hear from you.  
" You don't know him, love" he replies, his sharp eyes penetrating you viciously, " you don't know anything at all about your fiancee,... not like I do".  
" What,... what do you mean,...?" you ask him, and you feel a sense of instant dread coming.  
" What I mean is,.... I just don't think you know who you are really marrying sweetheart,..." he replies, as he takes in another smoke from his cigarette.  
There is then a long pause between the two of you, with each of you just staring back at one another, with him looking at you intensely.  
" No come on,.... what do you mean by that,... you are getting at something here" you say, as you feel more confidence to argue back to him.  
" Your fiancée is a murderer,..." he then spits out, and you feel your heart stop in your chest and the blood freeze in your veins.  
" Him and his cousins,... they are nothing but killers and theives,.." he continues, " your fiancee shot one of my men dead in cold blood,... his cousins shot and killed some of my other men.... all good men they were,... all of them,...and then your fiancee helped his cousin Tommy steal a hell of a lot of money from me,... which I want back,....with interest of course" he continues.  
You gulp slightly as you feel your insides twist inside of you from his words,.... why were you getting such a horrible feeling that he was not making any of this up.  
You watch him study your face intently.  
" You believe me, don't you,.... you know that what I am saying is the truth,.... because deep down inside of you,... you know what they really are,....don't you,... what your fiancee really is,....and what he is really capable of" he then says to you, his eyes glaring into your own eyes intensely.  
You however, don't even know what to reply back to him.  
Because he was right, deep down, you do believe everything that he was telling you had happened.  
Because deep down, you had always known what Michael and his cousins got up to,... what Michael kept hidden from you.  
They were gangsters, and you knew that from the very first moment you stepped into Tommy's House for that job.  
From the very first moment you laid eyes on them all,... even Michael,....you knew that they were all dangerous gangsters.  
But what frightened you the most was,.... you still loved Michael unconditionally.  
No matter what he did,....however bad it was.  
You continued to love him, unconditionally.  
Did that make you just as much a bad person too.  
For loving such a man.  
But however hard you tried, you just couldn't stop loving him.  
Even now,... in this very moment,... even after hearing all of these awful things being said about him.  
You still loved him more than you loved anything else.  
" I'm,.... I'm so sorry,..." you finally managed to stutter,  
" about your men,.... about your money,.... I didn't know, I swear" you reply, once again, your animal instant to survive kicking in.  
Tell this man exactly what he wants to hear,.... it will keep you alive.  
" I believe you,.... I believe you when you say that you didn't know,..... and I believe you when you say that you are sorry" he replies, " but you need to wake up and realise the kind of man that you are involved in sweetheart,..." he says, as he leans forward towards you again.  
" I have many sources throughout the whole of London,..." he then continues, " I have eyes and ears all over the city,.... a lot of people reporting back to me,.... and do you want to know what else they really got up too while they were there? ", he says.  
He stares at you, and you hold his glare, even though deep down, you were petrified of what else he was going to tell you happened.  
You didn't know how much more you could take.  
" After they killed some of my men and stole my money,... they then went on a rampage in one of my clubs,... lived it up in there right under my fucking nose,....spent the night drinking my bar dry and fucking hookers all over my establishment before destroying it come the early hours of the morning as a final insult to me,..." he spat angrily.  
He then stared at you intently, as if he was trying to read your mind through your facial expressions.  
" Drinking, drugs and fucking all night into the early hours,.... like the bunch of animals that they are,... " he scoffed, " apparently Arthur is just as insane as people say he is,.... apparently he took his wedding ring off before he fucked two whores over my bar,...before putting it back on after he was done,... like that made it more moral,... before passing out from too much drugs and booze" he told you, as if he was disgusted, " and then there was the younger one, John,.... who let a bunch of different whores suck his cock before throwing up all over my establishment,...before then setting it a flame" he retorts.  
" And then there was your Michael,..." he smirks at you.  
You feel your heart pound in your chest, as if it was about to shatter at any moment, as the tears begin to burn at the back of your eye sockets.  
But you held it together, refusing to let him see any sign of emotion from you.  
" They say that he was off his head as well, just like his cousins,.... boozed and drugged up to the eyeballs,...." he smirks, " and there were many, many whores around him at my club that night before they all destroyed it,... as well as his cousins" he continues, as if he was taking great pleasure in telling you all of this.  
But again, you refuse to let your tears fall, and hold his glare intently, again, refusing to show him any kind of emotion to what he was telling you.  
" Like I said,.... a girl like you can do so much better" he grins, as he then leans foward and softly kisses you on the cheek.  
You have no choice but to allow him to do so, unable to shrug him off from being tied up to where you sat.  
He then leans in even closer to you, and whispers into your ear with a heavy breath after he kisses you.  
" Why don't you just think about what I have told you for a while,..." he whispers into your ear, almost in a mocking way, and you can feel his heavy breathing against your skin.  
He then gives you another smirk before stumping out his cigarette and getting up from his chair.  
" We will talk some more in a bit,... and I'll fetch you something to eat when I return" he says, " anything in particular you want,...?" he then asks you.  
You just shake your head back at him,... you were starving, yet you had just lost all of your appetite, so much so that you didn't even care what he brought you.  
" Please yourself,....but you must eat,...I'll bring something back with me" he says, before he then goes to leave the room, " hopefully when I return, you will be in a lot more talkative mood,... I really want us to get to know each other a whole lot better" he smiles, before closing the door behind him, leaving you in total darkness again.  
As you hear the door shut, you feel as if you can finally breathe again, as you then exhale a deep and heavy breath of emotional relief that he was now gone,... for now.  
Although, you then feel your tears finally begin to fall.  
Now that you were alone again, you begin to replay everything he had just said to you back around in your head.  
Oh god,... you cry alone to yourself.  
Had Michael been unfaithful to you.  
Or was he just trying to play with your head, and make you doubt your love for Michael,.... and Michael's love for you.  
You knew that Michael loved you,... everyone was always telling you that,... even Polly.  
You pleaded with yourself not to doubt that right now.  
This guy could be just messing with your head.  
You just needed to get out of here,... and get home.  
You prayed that they would soon find you and get you out of here.  
As you just sat alone by yourself again in the darkness, with nothing but your thoughts, as the tears fell even faster down your face.  



	43. Chapter 43

Michael's POV

The past hour or so had just gone by in a complete blur.  
He remembered shouting and yelling, mainly himself doing the majority of the shouting and yelling as Polly and Tommy tried to calm him down by telling him that they would fix this, right after Tommy had told them both that Eddie and his gang had got his y/n held hostage somewhere.  
" We will get her back,..." he remembered his mother saying to him as she tried to calm him down, alongside Charlie's loud crying and screaming as the shouting continued to escalate.  
He remembered Lizzie then taking Charlie back upstairs away from all of the upset and shouting as the toddler was getting frightened by everyone yelling at each other.  
He then recalled just holding his head in his hands as he felt like it was just spinning round and around as he heard the thumping noise of his heart pounding in his chest, like it could explode at any moment.  
Through the sound of his racing heart, he faintly remembers hearing Tommy tell someone to go and fetch Johnny Doggs up from down by the river, and then he remembers seeing Arthur, John and Finn arrive very soon after that,...and then not long after them Charlie, Curly and Isaiah also turned up as well.  
But everything was pretty much still one huge blur as his head was still spinning round in circles with what he had just been told.  
The only thing he actually clearly remembers was the moment he just finally lost it and put his fist through the wooden door.  
Everyone was arguing, and his head just couldn't take any more and he just remembers finally losing it in that split second and punching his clenched fist through the door.  
He can't even remember feeling the slightest bit of pain from it, he just remembers the second that he did it, the constant buzzing noise in his ears stopped ringing, and there was finally just silence.  
Silence that finally allowed him to fall apart.  
They were all arguing with each other about how to solve this ,....yet it was the love of his life that was being held hostage.  
The love of his life that could possible die.  
And in that moment,... he felt like his life was over.  
If she dies,... no,....he couldn't even bear to think about the possibility of her dying.  
Of a life without her.  
He felt the tears burn up in his eyes, as the blood began streaming down from his wounded hand.  
" Ok,.....ok,....." he suddenly heard the calming voice of Polly approaching him, soothing him as if he was still a small child, as she gently removed his bleeding fist from the broken wooden door.  
He felt everyone else's wide eyes on him within the room, as they all stopped their arguing and stared at him from his sudden violent outburst.  
He then felt the gentle touch of his mother's hands around his shoulders as she then led him out of the room away from everyone else.  
" Come on,.. we need to fix your hand,.... the boys will sort out getting y/n back safely,... let's just get this hand of yours fixed" Polly softly spoke into his ear, again, as if he was a small child.  
He then let her lead him up the stairs, with her arms wrapped around him, as if he was in some kind of robotic trance, just about managing to be able to put one foot in front of the other.  
However, just as she was about to lead him into one of the spare bedrooms upstairs to get it cleaned up, he stopped outside of Charlie's nursery instead.  
" Come on,.. this way,..." his mother said to him, gestering him to follow her into one of the other rooms.  
But he just ignored her, as he opened the nursery door and walked through it.  
He heard the footsteps of his mother follow him as he entered the room, and he saw Charlie on the floor, just staring up at him blankly at his sudden intrusion.  
He gave the boy the briefest of smiles, before sitting down beside a nearby cabinet.  
He opened the top drawer of it and there were her things.  
A spare dress, she always kept one up in the nursery with her just in case Charlie was ever sick and threw up, or if she just gotten her clothes dirty from playing outside with Charlie.  
Then there was her hair brush, which still contained long strands of her y/h/c hair wrapped around its bristles.  
And then there was a small comestics bag of hers also in there, that had been left half open at the zip, showing a bottle of perfume, a mascara and a lipstick inside of it.  
She must of been in such a rush at some point when she had last gone in there that she had left it half unzipped as she had put it back within the drawer.  
He slowly ran his non blooded hand over her dress, his fingers gently playing with the fabric of it before then picking up her hairbrush, and removing the strands of her hair that was wrapped around the bristles.  
Suddenly, his mom jolted him from his trance of her hair within his fingertips.  
" You stay in here,... I'll go and get some clean water and bandages for your hand" Polly says over to him, as she then exits the room.  
He sighs heavily as he holds her hair within the grasp of his hand, and then looks over at Charlie, as he then notices the toddler now making his way over to where he was sitting.  
" Your hand,.... it's hurt,...." Charlie says, pointing at his blooded hand.  
" Yes,...yes it is mate" Michael softly smiles at the boy.  
" Are you poorly too,...?" Charlie then asks him, his innocent doe eyes looking up at him.  
" Am I Poorly,....?" Michael replies, frowning slightly back at the child.  
" Yes,... Mary said that y/n is not here today because she is poorly,..." Charlie then says.  
" Oh,... right,..." Michael replies, looking down at the boy, realising what had been said to the child, to shelter him from the truth.  
" Can you make her better,....so that she can come back and play with me" he then asks him, biting down on his little lip and looking up at Michael again with such innocent eyes.  
" I miss her,..." Charlie continued, as he grabbed hold of the fabric of Michael's trousers by his knees.  
" Yes,...I miss her too,..." Michael smiled.  
" When I'm poorly,....y/n gives me medicine and I feel better,.... you need to give y/n medicine so she can get better,..." Charlie then says, resting his hands on Michael's knees.  
" Ok Charlie,... I will,...." Michael softly smiled.  
Charlie then nods, and pats his tiny fingers along the top of Michael's trousers, before looking back up at him again.  
" Is that why everyone was shouting,... because y/n is poorly,..? " Charlie then asks.  
" Yes,.....yes it was,....that's all it was" Michael replied, the best that he could.  
" I love y/n,.... she is my friend " Charlie suddenly blurts out.  
" Yes,... she is your friend,... and I know that she loves you very much too " Michael smiles back tenderly at him, before getting himself lost within his own thoughts, " and I love her too Charlie,... I love her very much".  
" I know,...." Charlie replies, bringing Michael back from his thoughts, " as y/n is always smiling when you are around, ... and people smile when they are happy,...which means you make y/n happy,...so I think that she loves you too,.... and your going to make her better again,... so everything will be ok....and no more shouting" Charlie nods.  
Michael just smiles back at him as he ruffles the boy's hair lovingly,... although he doesn't reply back as the child's words just felt like a bullet to him.  
Suddenly, Polly re enters the room carrying a bowl of warm water, and some towels wrapped around her arms.  
" Have you been keeping Michael company, Charlie,..?" she smiles down at the boy, as she puts the bowl of water down on top of the table.  
" Yes,..." he smiles widely, awaiting praise from her.  
" Your such a good boy Charlie,..." Polly smiles at him.  
" Michael has hurt his hand,... " Charlie then looks up and says to Polly, as he points at Michael's blooded hand again.  
Michael then feels Polly's dark eyes burn into his face, as he continues to play with the strands of y/n's hair with the fingers of his other hand.  
" Michael just got very upset,.... and then he had a little accident,... but I'm going to make it better,.." Polly smiles at Charlie, as Polly sits down on a chair opposite Michael.  
" And y/n is going to get better too... Michael is going to give her some medicine to make her better,....because he loves her" Charlie replies.  
Polly then glares over at Michael sitting opposite her, and Michael just returns her glare, as the two of them hold eye contact for a moment or two, before Polly then picks up his wounded and blooded hand within her own hands and looks down to inspect it.  
Michael then sees Mary appear in the entrance of the nursery doorway, and watches as she walks into the room carrying some bandages and place them on the side of the table, next to the bowl of water.  
" Thanks, Mary,..." Polly smiles up at her.  
" Mr Shelby asked me to look after Charlie again,....I'll take him downstairs with me,..." Mary then says.  
" Thank you,..." Polly smiles back at her again.  
" Come along Charlie,... let's go and play downstairs,... " Mary then turns and says to the boy.  
Charlie then toddles out of the room, and as Mary follows closely behind him, she catches Michael's eye briefly, before she then looks down at his blooded hand, and then looks back up at him right in the eye again, and gives him somewhat of a disapproving look, before she leaves with Charlie, and shuts the nursery door behind them both.  
Michael couldn't help but wonder what she must of been thinking of him then in that moment.  
He knew that Mary and y/n were good friends, as he often saw them both talking to one another around the house, always smiling and laughing with each other.  
She must of now knew like everyone else in the house that y/n had been taken hostage, and just like y/n, Mary was more than aware with what this family got involved in.  
But like many, she had always turned a blind eye, for a decent paid job that paid her bills and put food on the table for her family.  
But he wondered whether that look that she had just given him, was because she secretly blamed him for what has happened to y/n.  
Maybe she thinks that if y/n had never of gotten herself involved with him, or if he had not pursued a relationship with her through his own lustful desires of her when she had started working here as Charlie's nanny, then that poor, sweet, innocent girl wouldn't be going through hell right now because of getting herself involved with him.  
Of course she probably blames him for what was happening to y/n right now, after all, he blames himself.  
Suddenly, he felt his mother bathe his hand in the soapy warm water, and the stinging sensation he instantly feels knocks him from his thoughts again.  
" I need to make sure that you haven't got any splinters in it,.... or else it will get infected" he hears Polly say, as she runs her hand over it in the bowl of water.  
" I think that is the least of my worries right now,..." he snaps back at her, as he looks directly up at his mother.  
He then suddenly let's out a few muffled whines of pain, as she runs her fingers across his open wound which makes him look back down at his cut hand.  
" You don't even seem bothered,.... how can you not even be bothered,... how can you be this calm right now,,....?" he then looks back up to her and asks her, his tear filled eyes glaring coldly at her.  
" Of course I'm bothered Michael,.... I love her like a daughter,... she is almost my daughter in law for god sake" Polly snaps back at him, " but somebody has got to stay calm right now and keep everything together while we figure out how to get her back,... how to get her back home".  
" And what if we don't,... what if he,..." Michael stops, as his voice breaks through intense emotion and he feels his lip begin to quiver.  
" You need to stop thinking like that,... he won't hurt her,..." Polly replies.  
" How do you know,...?" Michael retorts back sharply.  
" Because he needs her to be ok and alive for us to make the payment to him,.... because he knows we are not going to if she is dead" Polly replies, as she starts cleaning up his hand in the water.  
" But what about what happens as soon as he gets his money back,....what is there then to stop him from refusing to give her back to me and hurting her then,... for revenge" Michael replies, as his eyes get darker, " I swear..... if he even lays one finger on her,.... I'll kill him a thousand ways over."  
" It won't come to that,... like I said,... Tommy will sort this,...we will get her back " Polly replies, as she starts dabbing his wounds softly in the water.  
There is then a long silence between the two of them, before he then lets out a heavy breath.  
" I love her mom,.... I love her so much" Michael says, so quiet it almost came out as a whisper.  
" I know,..... I know you do, ....." Polly softly replies back, her eyes showering him with sympathy.  
" I just can't stop thinking about what could be happening to her right now,.... and where she could be and what the fuck he could be doing to her right this very moment,... I just can't bear the thought of her being so frightened,.... and of her waiting for me to come and get her out of there" he then says, " she is waiting for me to come and find her and every second is another second that I am not there for her,.... another second that she thinks that I'm not coming for her".  
"Look,... I know that it's hard,.. but you need to stop thinking like that or you will let your emotions get the better of you,.... you need to block those thoughts out of your head and just focus on getting her back,... which we will" Polly replies, her dark eyes staring seriously at him.  
Michael nods weakly, his eyes brimming with tears.  
" I just keep replaying everything over and over in my head,... how they could of got to her,... they must of followed Tommy, John and Arthur over to hers,... they must of got to her right after I left" Michael says, " I know you say I need to stop,... but I just can't stop thinking about what they must of done to her to get her out of the house,... how terrified she must of been,... and what they could be doing to her right now" he then continues, " I want to murder every single one of them who has even touched her."  
Polly looks up at him, but says nothing, as if she can sense his exploding anger rising within him, and is almost afraid of it herself.  
" You need to calm down,... you have already hurt yourself by losing it already" Polly finally replies, as she takes his hand out from the water and starts dabbing it dry with a towel.  
" I just keep thinking about the last thing that I said to her as well,... I told her to just move out of my way" Michael then says, shaking his head in regret,  
" the night had been so perfect up until then,... and then Tommy, John and Arthur turned up and it just exploded into this argument between the two of us, ...with her begging me not to go with them,....but I did,.... I chose to go with them over her," he continues, looking up at his mom, " I should of listened to her,... I should of stayed with her... she wouldn't be in this situation now if I had stayed with her,.... and to think that could be the last memory she ever has of me,.... leaving her like that, like I didn't even care."  
" It is not going to be the last ever memory,.... because she is going to be back with us by tomorrow night,... we will pay that bastard his money back,... and in three months from now you and y/n will both be getting married to each other and you both will be on your honeymoon together like none of this ever happened", Polly smiles, rubbing his arm, lovingly and reassuringly.  
" Do you think,...?" Michael says, before pausing, "do you think she will ever forgive me after this? " Michael continues.  
" That girl loves you Michael,...that I've always been sure of " Polly smiles, " love like yours and y/n's is hard to break".  
" But I am the reason that this has happened to her,...of course she is going to blame me,... if only I had listened to her when she begged me not to leave last night,..." he replies, before then pausing and looking as if he was thinking deeply, "if only I had listened to her as well as you when you both begged me not to get involved with all that business in London,... because you both were right" he continues, as Polly looks up at him shockly at his sudden confession, "because if I have lost her through this,... I will never forgive myself".  
" Is this you saying that we were right and you were wrong,...?" Polly smiles, a slight humour to her voice.  
Michael gives her a brief but weak smile back, before looking down, as if he was lost in deep thought again.  
" You know,..... I actually hate how much I love her" Michael blurts out, " I always have done,... I often wish that I had never,....... fell in love with her" he continues after a long pause, like being in love was something hard for him to admit too, as if he was ashamed of it.  
He then feels his mother's eyes on him deeply, boring into his face intently.  
" It is the most painful thing in the world,..." he continues, " and if I could take it back, I would,... however awful that sounds,... because the moment I fell in love with her,... it gave me a weakness,... my biggest weakness,......her ".  
" Michael,... everyone in the world who has ever been in love with someone will tell you that it is the most painful thing in the world, " Polly replies.  
" Y/N is the best thing that has ever happened to me,...and I admit that I have never felt happiness like I have when I am with her, and I feel like the luckiest man alive to of met her and to be able to call her mine,.... but at the same time,... I often wish that I had never met her,....because then I wouldn't feel so consumed by love for her,... so weakened by it,....I would never feel what it is like to need her so badly,... want to be with her so badly,... to feel that you can not be able to go on living without another person is so ridiculous,....but that is how I feel about her,... if anything was to ever happen to her."  
" We will get her back for you,...." Polly replies sternly, " I would never let anyone hurt you,... never,... you are my boy,... and I would never let anyone hurt y/n either,... because I know how much she means to you,... and how much you love her".  
Michael smiles back at her weakly, before looking down as he starts watching his mother wrap the bandage around his hand.  
" I've just got this horrid sick feeling that I've lost her,... and I just can't seem to rid myself of it" Michael sighs.  
" I'd never let that happen,...none of us will,... we will all make sure that she is back home safely by the end of tomorrow" Polly replies.  
Suddenly there is a long pause again, as Michael just watches Polly wrapping the bandage around his hand, before he sighs heavily.  
" Shit,...." Michael says, closing his eyes in annoyance,  
" I'm going to have to tell her mother about what has happened,... as if she didn't have a reason for not wanting y/n to marry me before any of this."  
Polly looks up at him, her eyes wide with reluctance, as he continues.  
" Her mom had stopped over at her Aunt's house last night so we had the place to ourselves for the evening,.... but when her mom gets home, she is going to wonder why y/n hasn't return home from work today,.... I promised her mother that when I married her, I would always keep her safe and would never let any harm ever come to her,...and I have already failed before I even had the chance to marry her."  
" Do you think that it's really wise telling her mother?" Polly replies, " I mean,... its only going to petrify her,... and if we get y/n home by the end of tomorrow, she would never have to ever know what has happened".  
" She is going to notice when y/n doesn't come home tonight,... she is going to be worried out of her mind where she is" Michael replies.  
" Why don't you just ring her mom up, and tell her that y/n is stopping over at ours tonight, but she is too busy with Charlie to call herself,... y/n wouldn't want her mom to know something like this has happened to her and for her to be worrying out of her mind that any harm could come to her daughter" Polly replies.  
Michael sighs heavily before softly nodding.  
" Your right,... she would hate her mom to know something like this has happened,... and that her mom was so frightened and scared for her,..." Michael replies, " I'll have to call her in a bit then,.... and tell her that y/n is just stopping over at ours for the night,... and hopefully she believes it" Michael sighs.  
Polly then finishes wrapping his hand up in the bandage, as she then looks up at him.  
" Now,.... I need you to stay strong for me,.... for y/n,...." Polly then says to him, " we will get her back, but like I said, I need you not to lose it again,... not to let your emotions get the better of you again and listen to everything me and Tommy says".  
Michael glares at her deeply, his eyes piercing her face intensely, as suddenly the nursery door opens again.  
He looks up, and sees Ada make her way over to where they were both sitting, a look of worry spread across her face.  
" Hi,...." she weakly smiles, " I've just come up to get some of Charlie's things,.... I've told Tommy and Lizzie that I'll have Charlie stop over at mine for the night,...just until everything gets sorted out".  
" That's probably a good idea,...he has been so unsettled with y/n not being here as it is" Polly replies,  
" me and Michael are coming back downstairs now,... I have just finished cleaning up his hand".  
" Yes,... I've heard about the incident downstairs with the door" Ada replies, as she turns and looks at Michael sympathically, " we will get her back Michael,....Tommy's already got a plan."  
" But this isn't about just some business Ada," Michael turns to her and says, his face full of emotion, " this is about my girl,... the love of my life,.... if anything happens to her,..." he continues, before pausing, and clearing his throat, again full with emotion.  
He looks down again, at the strands of her hair that was still in his other hand, and grips them tightly within his grasp as he feels both his mother's and Ada's sympathic eyes on him.  
He sighs heavily, and clenches his eyes shut, as he feels a overwhelming sense of exhaustion wash over him, as he then puts the strands of her hair in his trouser pocket, as if to keep them safe, yet still in his possession.  
He looks back up to see them both still looking at him, their eyes full of sorrow.  
He suddenly can't take anymore of their pitiful looks,... it was as if y/n was dead.  
" I need to go back downstairs, and see what's going on,..." Michael sharply says, his face cold and now showing no emotion whatsoever, as he stands up from his chair abruptly.  
He then feels both of their eyes then watch him as he walks across the room and into the hallway.  
He turns the corner, now away from their eyes, and finally, for the first time since he was told what has happened to y/n, he was totally alone.  
He sees the door to the bathroom on this level of the house, and quickly walks down the hallway and enters it, shutting the bathroom door behind him and turning the lock shut.  
He then turns and presses his forehead against the closed bathroom door, as well as both the palm of his hands against it, and clenches his eyes shut.  
He then inhales and then exhales deep breath's of air to himself, as if he was struggling to breathe.  
And in the quietness of the locked bathroom, he finally breaks down and let's the silent tears fall down his face.  



	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologise so much about the two week delay.  
> I just got so busy and got put behind.  
> Next chapter will be up in a few days and hopefully it will now be back to a chapter or two a week again.  
> Thank you for your patience, and I've made this chapter quite long due to having the delay, lots of love xx

Reader's POV

You must of been sitting alone now in this room for hours.  
It felt like it had been hours since he had left anyway.  
Time seemed to go so slowly when you are left alone, tied up and all by yourself in complete darkness.  
It was as if you were totally alone in the world with nothing but your thoughts for company.  
Thoughts that were making you go even more crazier and paranoid by the second.  
You had cried and cried after he had left, finally able to break down in tears once he had gone.  
But your body had now become so exhausted from all of the hours spent crying, you now just felt too weak and frail to even cry any more.  
You had not been able to stop thinking about what he had said to you about Michael.  
Michael had shot someone,... killed someone.  
He had apparently been off his head on drugs and booze with the rest of his cousins,..and set Eddie's club on fire with them.  
But the one thing that kept repeating over and over again in your head.  
That Michael had been around a group of women that night in London.  
Whores,... that's what Eddie had called them.  
And he said that Arthur and John had been witnessed being intimate with them while being off their heads.  
Had Michael as well,...?  
You felt the tears begin to pour down your face again,...and you had thought that you were now just to exhausted to cry anymore,...yet here were even more tears streaming down your face.  
Every tiny memory was now going around and around in your head.  
What he was like with you before he left for London,... what were the last things you had said to each other before he departed,... what was he like with you when he came back a week later.  
You had argued badly before he left, and you had begged him not to go, which he obviously ignored,... but he had also told you that he loved you and couldn't wait to marry you just before he left.  
And when he returned back from London, he had seemed upset that you had not been there for when he had returned home, as you had chosen to spend the evening with your best friend instead to teach him a lesson.  
And when you had come round for dinner the next evening instead, he had made it quite obvious that he was annoyed at being put second like that.  
And then he had been jealous about the revealing dress you had brought and wore to work, not wanting any other man to see your body.  
And then he had wanted to book the wedding at the earliest date possible.  
And then he had been so desperate to have sex with you that night,... he had been so mortified about having to wait three months for your wedding night.  
Even though he eventually and so reluctantly agreed too, just because it meant that it would be special for you.  
It all just didn't seem like the actions of an unfaithful man.  
It wasn't as if you had given him the sex ban before he went away,... then you might of been panicking it was because of that, and your and Polly's plan had backfired and he was a cheat after all.  
But the sex ban didn't happen until after he had come home,... if anything,... you and Michael had just had probably the most amazing sex that you both have ever had in your relationship so far, right before he left for London, when you and him had sex over Tommy's desk, fulfilling Michael's ultimate fantasy.  
Yes, you had argued after it when you had found out about the real reason for him going to London, and you had begged him not to go.  
But when he did return home, he had told you that he had missed you, and that he had thought about how much he had upset you every night while he had been in London. 

" And it did bother me seeing you cry the way you did before I left,... I thought about it every night that I was away" 

" I hated seeing you cry,... and I've missed you so much,... and I hate being apart from you" 

" I love you y/n,.... you do know that?" 

Those were all of the words that he had said to you after he returned back.  
Did he really mean any of it?  
Could he really be that good of a liar?  
He certainly was intelligent and calculating enough to be.  
There was no denying that.  
Did he really even want to marry you, deep down in his heart?  
Maybe Polly had been behind it all,... pushing it the whole time without your knowledge,... wanting him to marry a good girl, like yourself?  
One she liked and knew that she and the rest of the family could trust?  
Polly was capable of such things,... you knew that yourself.  
And maybe he had just agreed to, for the happiness of his mother.  
'A girl like y/n would make such a good wife, and we all know that we can trust her after all, she is Charlie's nanny. '  
You could just imagine Polly saying something like that.  
Was Michael even capable of really ever loving someone?  
Especially just a normal, average girl like yourself?  
After all, you weren't one of those beautiful and glamorous rich girls that he had only ever dated up until you.  
You didn't come from money or status,... and Michael liked money and status, unlike the rest of his family that all seemed to remember and appreciate where they did originally come from.  
That's probably why he had only ever dated rich and glamorous girls until he had met you.  
He had always been so impressed by it all.  
If you really did think about it,... it didn't really make sense that he would chose to marry you over all of the rich, pretty girls that he had slept with before you.  
They had all come from powerful and very wealthy families, which you certainly did not come from.  
And I bet they all had known a lot more than you about sex and how to please a man,.....unlike yourself who had always followed Michael's lead in the bedroom.  
The other day in his office had been the only time you had ever been spontaneous in your entire life.  
You had always been so shy and nervous.  
Rich, gorgeous girls like the ones Michael had slept with before you, you bet had never been so shy or nervous in the bedroom or just in general.  
They all knew that they were beautiful,... and they adored attention.  
Which you did not.  
That's why, when you really do now think about it,... it just didn't make sense that he would really want you over other girls like them.  
Maybe once upon a time, back when you had just started working there as Charlie's nanny, Michael had found you somewhat attractive.  
And Michael being Michael always had to have anything and everything he set his mind too.  
Maybe you had just been something he needed to conquer.  
A fun and enjoyable conquest of sleeping with the new nanny that he quite fancied,... just an itch he needed to scratch.  
Kind of like a power trip.  
To boost his ego that he really could achieve anything he desired if he really wanted to, ... even if there was not really anything remotely special about you at all.  
But now, a year later, you had probably become nothing but boring to him now.  
He had set out what he wanted to achieve over a year ago, ... just to sleep with you.  
To prove to his cousins that he really was capable of achieving anything he set his mind to, even if it was just for a bit of fun.  
But that had now been long achieved.  
Maybe he now wanted something better,... so much better than just an ordinary girl who works as a nanny on basic wage.  
Maybe it was Polly that had found you loyal and 'wife material'.  
Maybe she was the only reason why you were still even around.  
Because Polly liked you.  
As Polly had never liked all of those other snobby upper class girls that he had dated before you, who had all looked down their noses at the Shelby's original roots.  
Something you would never do, as you were just a normal, working class girl yourself, and had no wealth or lands to your name or family.  
It did all start to make sense when you thought harder about it.  
Why on earth would he want to marry you,... out of all of the other women who he could marry?  
Maybe when he had made you have sex with him over Tommy's desk, it was just because he was getting so bored of you.  
The thought of having to spend the rest of his life with you, maybe prompted him to try and make you at least be able to satisfy him a bit more if he was to marry you.  
I bet he had always imagined marrying someone so much better than you.  
You must of been such a disappointment to him.  
And deep down, how naive have you really been?  
To think that he really would of wanted to marry you.  
To have to marry you and still be faithful to you?  
You knew that Arthur and John had not always been faithful to Linda and Esme along the way.  
They had been known to of had sex with other women on ventures like London, but of course, Linda and Esme had always just looked the other way.  
As there was never the option of divorcing from this family,...it was way too dangerous.  
Were you that naive that you had really believed that Michael would not do the same as what his cousins got up to, and sleep with whores throughout their gangster existence's.  
Maybe he had always planned to have other women on the side after he married you, to fulfil the needs that you just did not and could not give him.

No,... no,.... you had to stop thinking like this.

You are just letting your thoughts get too carried away after what Eddie had told you.

He did love you,... just as much as you love him.

Michael was far too strong willed to be told to marry anyone he didn't want too.

That meant that you really were special to him.

More than those other beautiful, rich girls before you.

But how were you more special?

What was there special about you?

How could you even be special to him?

How could he even love you?

You couldn't offer him anything?

And why would he not cheat,... when his cousins have?

Stop it,......just stop it,!!!!!!!

You then start to scream to yourself at such thoughts.  
You started screaming out loud at the voices inside of your head.  
Wow,... you really were starting to lose it locked up in here.  
And just as you stopped your screaming,... you heard the noise of the door turning.  
And then, without warning,... the lights turned on and your eyes wince in pain from the brightness.  
But as they slowly adjust to the harsh light from being in complete darkness, you see Eddie enter the room, looking rather confused yet entertained at the same time.  
" What is all the fuss about,....?" he laughs at you, in a mocking way, " I could hear you from a mile away,..."  
You don't reply, but just continue to watch him as he makes his way over to you, and all of a sudden, the smell of cooked food hits you and causes your stomach to rumble.  
It smelled divine,... and you had not eaten in nearly fourty eight hours.  
" I thought that I would treat you,.... after all,.... you have been through a lot over these past two days,..." he says, as he then puts two cans of drink on the side, along with two packets of food wrapped up in newspaper and two wooden forks.  
" Fish and Chips,..." he smiles, " you never said what you wanted me to bring you when I came back,... and well, I just thought,...who doesn't like fish and chips" he says, as he kneels forward in front of you.  
" Now,... if I un tie you to eat this,.... you won't do anything stupid " he then says, looking at you harshly,  
" I don't want to have to hurt you,..." he continues, his voice turning rather threatening.  
" No,... I won't,... I promise,.. I'm just hungry and thirsty" you reply, shaking your head.  
He stares at you intently before nodding and smiling at you, as he then releases you from your restraints.  
You stretch your muscles out after being tied up for so long, and to finally be able to stretch out and be free feels like heaven.  
" Thank you,..." you quietly mutter, and he smiles widely at you again.  
He then passes you your drink and food as he begins to unwrap his own fish and chips.  
" Really,... thank you,..." you say again, as you take the hot newspaper packet from him and begin to unwrap yours as well.  
You then feel him staring at you intently from the corner of your eye as you begin to drink from your can,... the cold drink feeling like nectar along your dry, dehydrated throat..  
" I was hoping that you would be a lot more talkative when I came back,.." he suddenly spoke, "I'm so sorry about before,... I have been thinking,... and I do understand how frightened you must of been earlier, ... how frightened you must still be,...and I would really like us to start over again,.... if we can" he says, still looking at you intently.  
You pause, suspicious of what he might now be up to, although you didn't let it show on your face.  
" Thank you,... " you smile back, going along with his possible game, if it was in fact a game, " I was frightened,... I still am,.... but,...." you say, until you stop, and realise you have to think quickly, trying to figure out the best way for you to stay alive and survive this man.  
" But,..." he smiles at you, gestering you to continue with what you were saying.  
" No,...its nothing,... " you reply, shaking you head, as you began to eat.  
Your starving stomach not being able to take much more of the smell of them in front of you.  
" No,... go on,... " he replies, still with that cheshire-cat grin plastered across his smug face.  
You looked down at the food in front of you, and try to think fast about what game you were also going to have to play,.. to stay alive,... and be one step ahead of this man.  
Spending the last two days locked up in here with nothing else to do other than just sit and think, made you realise that you were no longer going to be anyone else's victim.  
You were here because of Michael's family, and all of the terrible things that they had done,... even though you personally had never done anything wrong yourself.  
And now you were scared to death that you were going to die for all of their wrongdoings,... all while believing that Michael may have cheated on you,... and possibly has never even loved you all along.  
Your heart was broken into a million pieces,... but anger was now starting to take hold of you.  
You could die a pathetic victim,... or you could decide to fight back.  
And play all of these men at their own game.  
Starting with this one.  
Who the hell did he think he was kidnapping another human being like this.  
If he thought that you were just some weak and pathetic little girl, than he was going to get a lot more than he bargained for.  
But you had to make him believe that you were first,... make him believe that you really are believing everything that he was saying to you.  
You have to make him trust you.  
" I just wanted to say thank you,...that's all" you start to say.  
" Thank you,...?" he replies to you, questionably.  
" For telling me the truth,...." you reply, trying to look as convincing as possible.  
You see him pause, and stare at you for a few moments, like he was thinking intently.  
" You mean,... about Michael,....?" he finally replies.  
" Yeah,... " you nod, before looking up at him, directly in his eyes, to make him really believe that you meant every word, " I have had a lot of time to think too,... and I can't believe I have been such a fool."  
You watch his eyes flicker across your face, and you could tell that this clever man was already trying to figure you out,.. figure out whether you were telling him the truth or not.  
" Your right,... I did just end up with Michael,... through no fault of my own" you begin to try and lie as successfully as you possibly can, " I took the job as Charlie's nanny,... like most people who work for Tommy Shelby,... because I needed a job and the money,... I have always wanted to work as a nanny and it was finally my first ever job as one,..." you say, faking a sad smile, " but deep down, I was so frightened and terrified of them all,...the famous peaky blinder gangsters,.... and then when Michael started making advances towards me,... I was so scared, I just went along with them,... and when he asked me out, I had no choice but to say yes, or I would of lost my job,...just like you said" you continue, hoping you looked and were sounding convincing enough.  
Eddie was still staring at you, as if he really was trying to read you and whether you were telling him the truth or not,... and you were praying that he was believing every word you were saying,....even though you were lying through your teeth.  
" Somehow,... like you said,... through no fault of my own,... I ended up on the arm of a gangster,.. and now part of the most dangerous family in Birmingham,.. and then he asked me to marry him and I had to say yes,.. for my family's and friend's safety,... imagine if I had say no,... I had no choice but to say yes,... even though I knew what they were all capable of,... I was just so scared,... and I could not find a way out " you continue, " you know,... sometimes,... I would pray for someone to come and rescue me,... someone to just save me and take me away from it all,..." you lie, as you look up at him with big doe eyes and bite your lip down innocently.  
" And then this happened,... it is like someone was really listening to me,... " you softly smile at him.  
You see his eyes widen at what you had just said to him.  
He looked shocked,...and you wonder if that was a bit too much.  
But then his smile widens and his eyes seem to light up as they widen at you.  
Has he really just bought all of that.  
" You think I'm your hero,....?" he smiles, and laughs at you.  
" No,..." you reply, and you see his smile suddenly turn downwards at your reply and he automatically stops laughing.  
" Well,... you have just kidnapped me, tied me up for hours and kept me hostage,...so no,....I would not call you my hero" you reply, " but,... but you have finally got me away from Michael".  
" But,... you seemed so upset when I told you earlier that he had been seen with all of those women at my club" he questions you, his eyes penetrating into your face deeply.  
You felt your heart begin to pound in your chest,... oh my god,... he knows that you are lying to him.  
Think fast,... think fast.  
" I don't know,... I guess over time there has been a part of me that wanted to believe that he really could love me,... a part of me that wanted to believe that I could change him,..." you reply, " but you have reminded me what he really is,... what he has always been,.. and that he has never loved me".  
His face is blank for a few moments, and you panic again that he doesn't believe of word of your lies.  
But then his face suddenly starts smiling again, and you may just be in luck.  
" I can't say that I'm not happy to hear you say all of this,...." he replies to you, " like I said,... I think that you are way too good for the likes of Michael Gray,... I thought it from the very first moment I saw you,..." he smiles.  
" Thanks,...." you reply with a half smile, as you carry on eating, secretly relieved that it sounds like he is believing every word you are saying as you heart begins to slow down slightly.  
" No seriously,... you are,... " he protests, " your so,... beautiful,.... I find it hard to take my eyes off you,... I can see why he wanted you so much,... but he does not deserve you,... like I said,.. you deserve so much better than him,..." he replies.  
Was he really believing all of this,....?  
You felt like you were betraying Michael by lying like this and saying all of these awful things.  
You had not meant a word of it, of course,..... it was nothing but lies so you could get out of here alive, and back to Michael safely.  
The truth still was, as it has always been, that you loved Michael more than anything else on this planet.  
But if Michael had in fact really betrayed you,... telling some white lies only to survive this Eddie guy didn't seem that bad at all.  
You just had to hope and pray that Eddie was lying to you about Michael.  
You had to believe somewhere inside of you that Michael did love you, and he would never betray you.  
As long as you held on to that bit of hope, you could deal with anything while you were trapped in here with this guy.  
" I'm just so glad that you are seeing Michael Gray and his whole family for what they really are,... you seem like such a smart girl as well,... such a nice girl,... it just didn't make sense why you were involved with the likes of them,...." he starts to speak again.  
" You know,... my best friend,... she always told me something like this would happen to me,... that I would die as a result of Michael,... and his family" you reply.  
You then see his pause, and stare at you, with a shocked look on his face before slightly smiling, which was rather off putting.  
" Your not going to die,...." he then replies, with slight humour to his voice, as if he was amused by your statement.  
" I'm,....I'm not,... your not going to,..." you begin to reply, before he cuts you off.  
" I was never going to hurt you,... let alone kill you" he snaps, " what do you think I am,... a monster,...?" he questions you, his voice contorted with anger.  
"I,... I,...." you begin to stutter, and feel completely relieved, as if you can start to breathe normally again.  
" What do you take me for,... one of them,....?" he questions you again, but he continues before you can even answer " I'm nothing like them,... and I would never hurt a lady,...." he replies.  
You let out a heavy breath, and then a few more after that,.... this part was not acting.  
You were genuinely hoping that he was telling the truth.  
Tears then begin to roll down your face,... and again, you were no longer acting anymore.  
" Hey,.... don't cry,.." he smiles at you, " I meant what I said,... I would never hurt you,.. I would hate you to think that I was a monster too,.. just like those peaky blinders, .. cutting and killing" he smiles at you, before he leans forward and asks you, " you do know that I'm different to them,.... don't you,...?".  
You just nod your head, as you then wipe away your tears, not really sure whether you could believe him or not, but figured it was probably best to agree with him.  
He then leans forward into you, and very delicately with his thumb, he wipes away a tear from your face, before he then pauses to just gaze at you, for a considerable amount of time.  
You just stare back at him, slightly un nerved by what he was looking at you for, before he just smiles at you affectionatly before slowly stepping back.  
" Now,...eat your fish and chips,.. before they get cold" he chuckles with a smile.  
You softly smile then nod back at him, as you start to eat again.  
As you eat your way through your dinner, he also carries on eating his opposite you, and you have to listen to him make conversation, such as telling about London destinations and attractions as you both eat opposite each other.  
But all you can think about is Michael.  
You can only assume that he must know that you have been kidnapped by now.  
Tommy must of told him and Polly, as it had been hours since you watched Eddie speak to Tommy over the phone and make his demands.  
You wonder what Michael was doing right now, and what he must be thinking right this very second while you were stuck in here.  
Was he frightened,... upset,... angry,.... even bothered?  
Would Tommy even pay the money back?  
Were you really that important to Michael and the rest of them?  
You were not even family yet,.... technically you were still just Charlie's nanny,.... still just a member of staff.  
Would they even bother saving you,... or just see you as collateral damage, valuing money over your life.  
Was Eddie right all along, ....?  
Was Michael's whole family really evil?  
Would they just abandon you, and let you rot in here?  
Would Michael just give you up, if he really did not even love you?  
All these thoughts were raging through your brain as you can faintly hear him talk in the background.  
" I can take you there if you like,....?" you suddenly hear Eddie say to you, pulling you out of your worried thoughts.  
" Huh,...." you suddenly reply, realising you haven't been listening to a word he has been saying to you,....you had been too busy thinking about Michael.  
" I said I can take you to see it one day if you like,..." he replies to you, raising his eyebrows, " St Paul's Cathedral in London,....its so beautiful inside" he continues.  
" Oh right,..." you quickly reply.  
" You did just say that you have never been to London,...?" he replies.  
" No,... no,... I haven't" you reply, not remembering anything that you had been replying, just 'yes' and 'no's' here and there while you had been lost in thinking about Michael.  
You then watch him huff, and give you an annoyed, displeased look.  
" You were thinking about him,... weren't you?" he suddenly asks you.  
" What,....um,...who,....?" you ask him, but you know exactly who he means.  
" He doesn't love you,... I thought you realised that" he replies sharply, and the words were so cold and painful that they cut your insides like a knife,... and you had to try your hardness to hold the tears back.  
" You mean Michael,...?" you ask, trying to show no emotion.  
" I thought that you had come to your senses about him,.... but you are still thinking about him, aren't you,...?" he questions you again bluntly, and you saw his eyes filled with anger.  
" No,... no,... " you tried to lie, " I was,... I was just wondering whether,.... I'm just scared about what happens to me if Tommy does not pay you the money back" you reply.  
He looks back at you with widen eyes, and he still appears angry.  
" I've told you,... I will never hurt you" he replies, raising his voice at you.  
You smile and nod back to him, still fearful of him.  
" Look,.. I know that kidnapping you was not the best way to start a friendship,... to start anything" he says, his voice softening as he gazes at you,  
" but I would really like us to start over again,..." he continues.  
Again you nod your head at him, and give him a timid smile.  
" You know,.....there's something very special about you,....I thought it from the very first moment I laid my eyes on you,... " he smiles at you, " and I can tell you something,... if you were my girl,... I would never be messing around with other women,....I personally think Michel Gray is an idiot to even be looking at other women if he has you,....let alone,..." he smirks, before he stops mid sentence.  
" Let alone,....? " you question him, feeling sick inside again.  
" Look,... I don't want to upset you anymore,.... " he replies, shaking his head.  
" No, please,... go on,... " you snap back, " seriously, I'm sure nothing can be anymore worse than what you have already told me,... " you shrug, but silently breaking inside.  
" Its just,... I'm pretty certain that he was fucking all of those whores with his cousins in my club,... right before they burnt it down" he replies, sounding sympathetic, but you are almost certain it was just for your benefit, " I just find it so shocking,....that a man can have you for a girlfriend,.....I mean fiancée"  
he smiles, " he's going to marry someone as wonderful as you,.... as beautiful as you, and as special as you,...and he doesn't even treat you right" he continues.  
You just stare back at him, trying your hardest to show no emotion.  
" I would treat you as if you were the most precious thing in the world,..." he then says, looking over at you deeply, " like you should be treated,..."  
" Yeah,....well,..." you reply, looking down to avoid his glare.  
" Yeah well,... what,...?" he replies, " I would give you the world,.... I could give you the world,...." he says.  
You look up, confused to where he was going with this.  
" I would give you anything and everything that you could ever want,... if you would allow me to,..." he continues, " I would treat you so much better,.... better than he ever has,... if you were mine and not his,.. ".  
" What,....?" you blurt out, but it was more like a whisper.  
" Don't return to him,... don't return to any of them,..." he smiles, as he leans forward, and runs his fingers through your hair, and he is so close to your face, his skin is almost touching yours.  
You try not to flinch away from him, even though you really want to.  
What on earth does he think he is doing,... what on earth was he saying?  
" Your better than them,.... and way too good for him" he continues, " come back to London with me,.....and I'll make you happier then he ever could,.." he says, and before you can even think about what to reply back to that,... he leans in even more further and presses his lips firmly against yours.  



	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter just seemed to take a century to write,... but here goes... xx

Michael's POV

One Month ago - London. 

Michael picked up the telephone, as he sat himself down on the edge of the king size bed in the luxurious hotel suite.  
This grand hotel was probably somewhere only posh and very wealthy people could afford to stay, yet Tommy's money could easily afford them all to stop here while this business in London needed to get done.  
But this was somewhere he would love to bring y/n one day very soon.  
Just to make her feel special.  
He would love to be able to treat her and spoil her by bringing her here with him and show her just how special she truly was to him and just how much she meant to him.  
Maybe he would bring her here one weekend after they get married.  
Maybe as a surprise weekend getaway to London as newlyweds.  
Just as a nice surprise for her as he knew that she had never been to London before.  
He wished that he was here with her instead.  
He then began to shake his head at his thoughts.  
He needed to stop thinking about y/n.  
It was best to get her off his mind while he was away on business.  
Especially business such as this.  
Thinking about her would only just distract him.  
And he needed his mind to be focused.  
He began to dial his mother's home telephone number and then waited for her to pick up.  
He soon heard his mother's voice answer on the other end of the line.  
" It's me,..." Michael bluntly replied to her.  
" Michael,... I have been worried sick,... what's happening up there,...?" Polly asked.  
" Everything's fine,... I just thought I would call you to let you know that everything has gone smoothly and that we should be back home by the weekend" he replied.  
" It has took you three days to call me again,... and I haven't heard anything from Tommy either,...neither has Lizzie" Polly replied.  
" No,... he's just been really busy,... he said that he will call you later,...to make sure that everything is alright back home " Michael replied back.  
" And how is John and Arthur,...are they behaving themselves?" Polly then asked.  
Michael then looked over at his two cousins, sitting next to Johnny Doggs at the mini bar in the hotel suite.  
" They are fine,.... everyone's fine" he replied, watching the three of them knock back whiskey shots.  
" And have you rang y/n yet,... as she said that she has not heard from you at all since you have left?" Polly then asked him.  
" No,..." he replied, blunt and truthful, and he heard his mother then sigh heavily on the other end of the telephone.  
" Michael,... " Polly replied, almost as a scolding,  
" she has been worried sick about you all week,... I really think that you should have the decency to give her a quick call,.. just to let her know that you are ok and to stop her worrying anymore further" she continued.  
He sighed heavily at his mother's demand.  
He would love nothing more than to hear y/n's voice,.. he had missed her so much this week while he had been away and he was secretly dying to get home to be able to see her.  
But he had in fact been avoiding calling her while he had been here in London.  
Not only had he actually been to busy too, but he also was trying to avoid another argument with her about him coming up here along with the rest of cousins.  
He had left it on such bad terms with her before he came up here to London.  
She had begged him not to go, even started crying.  
It had hurt his heart to see her cry, let alone be the one to cause it.  
But she had also called him the love of her life in the midst of her tears as well, and that had actually melted his heart.

" I'm so terrified of losing you,.... I don't want you getting involved in the other side of the business,... please Michael,... its scares me,... I want to marry you,...not bury you,...I couldn't live if anything was to happen to you,... I love you so much,.. "

He kept hearing her words go round and around in his head.  
They had meant the world to him,... yet they had caused him so much guilt and anger at the same time.  
Guilt at the pain it was causing her, yet anger at the fact that she was now constantly questioning and pestering him to quit the other side of the business all of the time.  
When he had wanted to get involved in it so badly for such a long time now.  
To be just like his cousins.  
But he hated how it was now causing such problems in his relationship.  
Tommy was right,... it was best that y/n had never found out.  
He was just angry that she had, and it had now caused all these problems, just like Tommy and the rest of his cousins said it would.  
He suddenly returned back from his thoughts to the conversation he was having with his mother.  
" Just let her know that everything is fine and I'll be home soon,.." Michael then replied.  
" Michael,..." he heard his mother reply, raising her voice slightly as if he had said the wrong answer.  
" I'm just really busy up here at the moment,.. could you just ring her for me please" he replied to her.  
" I think that she would really love to hear from you herself,... seriously Michael,... the poor girl is going out of her mind with worry,... surely it would not hurt you just to pick up the phone to her for just a minute or two,.. just so she knows that your ok" Polly sternly replies.  
He sighs heavily, as he looks back over at his cousins laughing and drinking.  
" Look I'm busy, alright,.... and I have told her not to worry,... just let her know for me that I am ok and everything is fine and I will be home in two days,... and I will see her then" he replies.  
" For god sake Michael,..." he hears Polly snap back at him, " you know,... you don't know how lucky you are that y/n loves you enough to stick around and put up with all this crap,... let alone agree to marry you ,... sometimes Michael, you treat her like shit,... when she loves you so much,.. yet you give her nothing back" she continues, " you will be sorry when you wake up one morning and she is not there anymore because she has just had enough of the way you treat her".  
Michael find himself scoffing back at his mother, annoyed at her tone of voice as well as her last few comments at him.  
She knew nothing about his relationship with y/n.  
How dare she,... y/n would never leave him,... they both loved each other way too much.  
And he didn't treat her like shit,... or perhaps he did.  
Perhaps from another woman's point of view, like his mother's,... maybe he did.  
Oh god,... did y/n think that he treated her like shit too.  
" Look mom,...I have got to go,...I'll speak to y/n when I get back home,..." he replied, as he hurriedly tried to get his mother off the phone, "I'll call you later,... bye mom,..." he continued, and before she could even reply back to him, to probably give him more of an angry earful about not calling y/n, he put the phone down.  
He wondered if y/n had been moaning about him to his mother that he had not rang her since he left for London.  
Maybe he was in the wrong, but he just wanted to avoid anymore arguments with her.  
He hated when they argued.  
Or even worse, having to hear her start crying again on the other end of the telephone.  
He was trying to avoid that as well.  
He never knew how to handle it when she cried.  
He didn't know what to say or do.  
He just knew that he didn't like it when she cried and he just always wanted her to stop.  
So he was probably right not to call her, ... best to avoid it.  
He will make it up to her,... somehow.  
Maybe by bringing her to a luxurious hotel like this, and giving her a weekend away in London.  
Surely that would show her and his mother that he didn't treat her like shit and that he did in fact adore her, god,...he actually worshipped her.  


" You know how much I love you,... you know that all I want to be is your wife,..."

He smiled softly to himself as he remembered her saying those words to him, and how she leant in closer to him and rested her chin against his shoulder as she said them.  
The smell and feel of her hair against his skin, and her beautiful yet tearful doe eyes looking up at him.  
He loved her so much, and he knew in his heart how much she loved him too.  
God, he knew just how lucky he was.  
And nothing and no one was ever going to tear them apart from each other.  
" Michael,... what you doing in there,...?" he suddenly heard Arthur shout out to him.  
" Yeah,... get off the bloody phone to that girlfriend of yours..." he then heard John laugh.  
Michael then stood up from the edge of the bed, and walked into the lounge area of the suite where they were all sat drinking by the mini bar.  
" I'm not on the phone to my girlfriend,... " he replied to them, as he walked over and sat in an armchair opposite them.  
" I love you y/n,... I love you too Michael,...." John continued, as he started mimicking both Michael's and y/n's voices, going from a deep voice to a high voice,  
" No,.. I love you more y/n,.... I can't wait to marry you Michael,....I can't wait to have my dick at the end of your throat again when I get back home y/n,..." John continued to mock, causing Arthur and Johnny Doggs to laugh and spit our their drinks as Michael just shook his head and kept his face straight and unamused back at John.  
" It wasn't y/n,... it was Polly" Michael retorted back, and rolled his eyes at him slightly.  
" Is she alright,... how's everything back home?" Arthur then asked.  
" Everything's fine,..." Michael replied.  
" Right,... we should celebrate,..." Arthur replied, as he got up, swaying slightly from the amount of alcohol he had already consumed, as he made his way over to where Michael was sitting.  
" You did good today, Michael,...were proud of you,..." Arthur continued, as he wrapped an arm around him.  
" Thanks,..." Michael nodded, smiling slightly.  
" Yeah,... you stepped up today kid,.... Tommy was right,...your definitely ready,..." John replied.  
" I would love to see the look at that bastard's face when he realises that you and Tommy have conned him,..." Arthur begins to laugh again.  
" Yeah,.. it takes some balls to go up face to face with Eddie Raymond like that,.... that guy is one of the most corrupt gangsters in all of London,..." John replies.  
" The guy is said to be an actual psychopath "Johnny Doggs then replies, causing John, Arthur and Michael to all look over at him.  
" No seriously guys,... I have heard nothing but bad things about that one,....real bad things " Johnny Doggs continues, " he's not just bad and corrupt like most other gangsters,. ... he is meant to be psychotic as well,... I've heard that he apparently likes to play mind games with people,...to make them go crazy,..... and if anyone does ever cross him,... he makes sure that he then takes the most precious thing that they hold dear away from them,.... what they care about above all else,... only to make it his,... so he always takes more from you", Johnny continues, causing Arthur and John to look up at him, as Michael then scoffs at his comment.  
" I bet there nothing more than just scary horror stories Johnny,... the pathetic kind that children tell each other at Halloween to frighten their siblings in their bed in the middle of the night " Michael scoffs, " he has probably made most of them up himself,.... to make himself sound terrifying" Michael then let's out a sarcastic laugh, as he lights up a cigarette.  
" Yeah,...they like a bit of dramatics here in London,..." John laughed, " to over compensate for the fact that they are not that tough,...they are just all talk" John continues to joke.  
" Yeah,... Tommy and our Michael here has that guy finished,... and he won't dare cross our path again if he knows what's good for him,..." Arthur says over to Johnny Doggs.  
" Yeah,... he will know that you don't fuck with the peaky blinders from now on,...." John scoffed.  
" I hope you fellas are right,... and Tommy hasn't messed with the wrong guy this time,... someone who won't take being crossed lightly,... and who knows that it was Tommy and young Michael here who crossed him".  
" Or he is going to what,...come up to Birmingham and steal some of Michael's favourite toys,.." Arthur then laughed.  
" Yeah,... I think that you better keep that fancy ball pen of yours close to you Michael,... the one that your always using,... we wouldn't want you crying if he comes back and steals it from you" John laughs,  
" we know how much you love that pen" John smirks, causing Michael to let out a sarcastic laugh.  
" Come on now Johnny,... everything has gone in our favour,... and we will be back home by the weekend,.. so now let's enjoy our last night here in London by getting absolutely fucking smashed,..." John grins, as he playfully slaps Johnny on the back.  
" And you know what boys,...I know just the fucking place... " Arthur smirks, as he knocks back his whiskey shot.  


Six hours Later

Michael's head felt like it was spinning rapidly.  
Like everything around him was spinning rapidly too.  
He didn't know what kind of drug he had just took, but mixed with the amount of alcohol he had now already consumed, he was feeling really fucking high right this very moment.  
Yet it was making every part of him feel so good,...eveything felt so good right now.  
He had proven himself to Tommy and his other elder cousins here in London this week.  
That he was in fact a major asset to the company, also on this side of the business as well as the legitimate financial side.  
And he would very soon be back home to see his girl again,... and upon just thinking about her, the warmness of the alcohol inside of his body suddenly made him feel a strong urge of lust as his mind playfully wandered about making love to her once he got home.  
God, he had missed her so much while he had been away.  
He suddenly felt like he couldn't get home fast enough just to be able to see her and touch her again, as his mind privately thought about all of the intimate things he wanted to do with her once he got back home.  
Suddenly he got pulled away from his very x-rated thoughts about his fiancée back at home as a very drunk and drugged up Arthur started shouting his mouth off in the middle of the dark London street.  
It must of been close to midnight, but the night was still very young, if Tommy, Arthur and John's previous night's in London were anything to go by.  
Michael had never been to London with them before, but he had heard all about the times that the other's had been.  
And they all had sounded wild to say the least.  
Michael had all intention of enjoying himself tonight.  
He had often felt so dragged down by work, often staying late at the office and sometimes taking paperwork home at evenings and weekends.  
He wanted to relax and unwind and most importantly enjoy tonight.  
He had already drunk too much,... and whatever he had took was obviously now kicking into his system.  
But still, Arthur and John still seemed more drugged up than him as he watched them both barge into the club, almost taking the doors off with them as they did so.  
Michael watched as the people inside all turned and looked up at who had just walked into the club so abruptly.  
And he then noticed them all stare a little longer at the gang as they all began to twitch nervously and whisper between one another at their tables and by the bar.  
Everyone seemed to know exactly who they all were, and Michael savoured in the knowledge of that.  
He had always loved the power that his family name possessed, and the fear it caused wherever they went.  
It was like nothing he had ever experienced before,... way back when he was just Henry Johnson,... one of two adopted sons of a railway master and his wife living a simple life in the countryside.  
He walked through the club behind Tommy, Arthur and John, watching all of the eyes nervously look at them all and what on earth they were all doing here as he then sat down beside Isaiah and Johnny Doggs, and lit up a cigarette as Arthur shouted for drinks to be served to them.  
This was Eddie Raymond's club, the gangster who they had just double crossed, who a lot of people in London were deadly afraid of.  
Yet Tommy had just defeated him like he was small fry compared to them.  
Michael's felt everyone's eyes on them as they were served their drinks, and after a while, a very drunk Arthur and John soon heckled a group of glamourous attractive women over to join them.  
They seemed purposely dressed for men to ogle at them and they also seemed more than impressed and attracted to the Birmingham gangsters that had just walked through the club and were acting as if they were gods.  
Arthur pulled one of them onto his lap, who was more than willing to comply, as he then began to whisper things into her ear as she giggled at his words, as more alcohol and 'snow' began to get consumed throughout the night, as they shared it out between the scantily-clad dressed girls, and Arthur, John and Isaiah especially began to get louder as they got more drunk and high.  
Soon the bar manager came over to ask them to leave, as the other customers seemed to be getting intimidated by their loud and vulgar presence, and a fight soon erupted, and Arthur got up to break the bar manager's nose before sitting back down to finish his drink and pulling the young woman back onto his lap once again. Upon leaving the bar manager and other bartenders battered, bruised and bloody, Eddie's staff soon abandoned the bar along with the majority of the customers as the fight had now left most of the club smashed.  
Isaiah then led one of the ladies through the now empty club into the back with him, his blood stained hands all over her as Arthur and John then jumped over the abandoned bar and stole more bottles of alcohol.  
Tommy was deep in conversation with Johnny doggs and an impressed looking woman sat down in the seat where Isaiah had been sitting next to Michael.  
" Want to share,...?" the young, attractive woman asked him, signalling to the line of snow she had just laid out on the table before them with a raised eyebrow.  
Michael just smiled back at her, and shook his head as a 'no' as he continued to smoke from his cigarette.  
" Oh well,... more for me then,.. I suppose" she replied with a flirtious smile back at him, as she leaned down and inhailed the drug up her nose.  
Michael smirked as he watched her do so, watching her hair fall around her bare shoulders as she then rocked her head back, as if to inhale in the drug fully up her nostrils.  
" You see,... just like a pro,..." she smirked back at him again as she finished the line of snow.  
" I can see,..." he chuckled back, as he stared back at her through his cigarette smoke.  
" I'm Louise,... by the way,...." she smiled at him, fluttering her eyelashes in a provocative way.  
" Michael,..." he grinned back, as he inhaled another puff of his cigarette, and his eyes lingered on her, as her eyes lingered on him.  
" So Michael,... your not a fighter like the others,....?" she smiled back, before signalling to John and Arthur with her eyes, after she had just watched them easily beat up the bartenders who had now ran off leaving the club abandoned with just them now left inside.  
" Well,...I don't like to get my hands dirty,... " Michael laughed back.  
" Oh,... well,.. that is a shame,..." she smirked back at him, her eyes lingering all over him.  
Michael stared back at her through his cigarette smoke, his eyes scanning all over her intently.  
He could tell from her body language and how she was looking at him that she was attracted to him, and that made him feel good in his drunken state.  
And she was a looker herself, with an attractive face and one hell of a sexy body showing through the fabric of her tight dress.  
He found her attractive,... and maybe if this had been over a year previously he would of been following Isaiah to the back area of this club right now to have her bent over in front of him with her underwear around her ankles.  
But he had a fiancee,... he was soon to be a happily married man.  
To a woman who he was insanely in love with back home in Birmingham.  
To a woman who was the most beautiful girl in the world to him.  
A girl no one else could ever compare too.  
" I wouldn't mind you getting your hands dirty with me,..." she grinned, raising her eyebrows at him.  
Michael drunkenly laughed back at her.  
" Your a naughty little thing aren't you,...?" Michael smirked, with a laugh.  
" You have no idea,..."she grinned back, purposely leaning forward so he could get a good view of her full, rounded cleavage.  
She then smirked at him as she saw him eyeing up her plunging cleavage, before leaning forward and all of a sudden she pressed her lips passionately against his, as her one hand wandered down the inside of his trousers, and she suddenly started massaging his intimate region with her hand.  
" I'm a pro in other areas as well,..." she smirked.  
" I bet you are,.." he drunkenly laughed, as he felt even more light headed and kind of "not with it" from the amount of alcohol and 'snow' wandering around his body in extreme high quantities.  
He then felt her hand slip into his underwear, and she was soon massaging his growing erection.  
God, what she was doing felt so fucking good, as his hazy eyes lingered all over her body with sexual desire.  
He sighed heavily to himself, he was attracted to her,....she was gorgeous, she had a great body and fantastic breasts, and she was more than up for it.  
And he felt as horny as hell with the whole intensity of tonight mixed with the high intake of alcohol and 'snow' that was making his body feel like it was on fire and he needed so much to feel an urgent release,.... the kind of release a drunk and horny man could only feel by emptying his balls.  
What would be the harm,... it wouldn't mean anything.  
It was just sex,... he would just bang her until he released himself and he would feel so much better after doing so,... and then they would just go on their separate ways after tonight.  
And he would go home as if tonight had never happened.  
Go home and be with y/n,... who would never ever get to know about tonight.  
But suddenly the sound of her name in his head triggered some kind of response in his brain.  
His brain shouted out her name again within his thoughts, like a desperate warning.  
Y/N.  
Your beloved Y/N.  
Your beautiful,.. amazing,... wonderful,... perfect y/n.  
Fucking Hell....  
What the fuck was he even doing right now,.... what the fuck was he even thinking!!!  
For fucks sake,... he told himself.  
How drunk and drugged up was he right now.  
This girl was not y/n,.... she could never be y/n,... fuck, she wasn't even a patch on his y/n.  
However attractive she was, and however horny he felt.  
She was no where near his beautiful, perfect, and irreplaceable y/n.  
And no woman could ever compare to y/n.  
Fuck,...how could he even be considering doing this.  
Had he gone completely insane?  
He suddenly felt himself sobering up extremely fast at a rapid pace as his thoughts started going round and around in his head in overdrive.  
Don't be an idiot,....he could hear the voices in his head order at him,.... don't be a complete idiot just for five minutes or so of pleasure just so you can ejaculate and feel good for a slight moment.  
You could ruin everything just for something that will mean nothing,... just so you can feel brief sexual pleasure for a moment or so.  
There might be a huge chance y/n could never find out,.... and you could get away with it just to feel that urgent release you need to feel right now in your extremely drunk and drugged up horny state..  
But what if y/n did ever find out?  
What if John or Arthur accidently ever blurted it out back at home in their drunkeness one day and then you would lose everything you have ever wanted,...Y/N.  
You have never wanted or loved anyone as much as you love her.  
You would lose y/n for good,... and then your life wouldn't be even be worth living anymore if you were to ever lose her.  
No,...he told himself, this was not even worth it for the risk of breaking y/n's heart and having to risk the possibility of losing her forever.  
And even if she never found out about this drunken night in London.  
You will always know what you did, he told himself.  
How could you do that to her?  
How could you then go home back to Birmingham after tonight and look her straight in those beautiful eyes of hers and act normal with her, knowing what you have done behind her back.  
Knowing that you have betrayed her.  
The girl who loves you so much, and so unconditionally.  
And the girl you love so much and so unconditionally,... he told himself,...you love her more than you have ever loved anything in this whole world.  
Nothing is ever worth risking losing her for,....nothing could ever feel that good if it came with the risk of losing her forever.  
For fucks sake,... your marrying her in less than three months.  
Your the luckiest man alive to have her agree to marry you and to soon be able to call her your wife, ... nothing is worth potentially destroying that for.  
He was suddenly pulled out of his worried thoughts by the woman's voice.  
" Let's go out the back,..." she leaned forward and whispered into him, " I want to feel this inside of me,..." she smirked, as she continued her grip up and around his erection again.  
Fuck,... he was not going to do this.  
He couldn't do it,... not to y/n.  
It may mean nothing,... and would be nothing but drunken, feel good sex.  
But he certainly wasn't Arthur and he certainly wasn't John.  
He had seen Arthur get so drunk during nights like tonight and take off his wedding ring before fucking whores while being drugged up to his eyeballs, before putting his wedding ring back on after he was done, and then afterwards, once he had sobered up, struggle to deal with the guilt and regret for betraying his ever so dutiful wife.  
And blaming it on the alcohol and the snow,... believing that taking his wedding ring off during his antics somehow made it moral,... like it somehow made it less of a betrayal, and that he still loved Linda, which of course he did.  
No,... Michael was not going to be that man.  
Not tonight.  
And not any night.  
He had way too much to lose,.... The love of his life.  
She was worth way more than this.  
He loved her way too much to ever betray her.  
He loved her way too much to ever lose her.  
" Look,..." Michael sighed, feeling himself sobering up almost instantly as he moved her hand from out of his trousers and moved it back onto her lap, " I'm sorry,....but this isn't going to happen."  
She looked back at him in a confused manner,... and seemed somewhat offended by his rejection.  
" Seriously,...?" she laughed back at him.  
" I'm very drunk,....and have took god knows how many lines of snow tonight,.... and I don't know how I even still know my own name right now" Michael replied,  
" but I do know that I can't do this,... I'm sorry".  
" I don't understand,.... you were pretty up for it a moment ago,.." she retorts back.  
" I know,....but I wasn't thinking straight,...i've took too much heavy stuff tonight,.... and,...." Michael replies, before pausing, like he didn't know how to explain himself.  
" And,....? " she questions, awaiting his reply after he paused mid sentence.  
" I have a fiancee back at home,...." Michael replies, with a half smile.  
" And,... " she shrugs back.  
" And,.... I love her,...." Michael replies, with a sterness to his voice, " I am sorry,....but maybe you need to look for somebody else tonight".  
" Baby,...." she smirked, " your the one who will be sorry,... I bet that I know stuff your girlfriend back at home has never even heard of", she continues, biting down seductively on her lower lip as she softly kissed his neck.  
Michael then let's out an amused laugh as he automatically backed away from her touch.  
" I don't doubt that,... " he then smirked at her in an amused way,... he had wondered whether she was in fact a hooker, and even if she wasn't, she seemed to ooze with sexual confidence as well as experience,  
" but netherless,.... I love my girl,....so I can't,...i'm sorry."  
" Seriously,... its your loss,.... I could make you cum harder than she or any other woman ever has,...you would never want her or any other woman again after tonight with me " she purrs, raising her eyebrows again at him as she places her hand over his clothed intimate region once again and gives him a tight squeeze.  
Michael then let's out another chuckle, as he removes her hand away from him again in a respectful manner.  
" Seriously,... I can't,....." Michael softly smiles, " I love her,... I'm going to marry her,.... I just could never hurt her like that,... I could never betray her".  
" Wow,..." she then smirks, almost as if she finally gives in, " she is a lucky girl,.. "  
Michael just smiles back, as he then looks away and takes a sip of his drink.  
" What's her name then,... this lucky girl,....who has obviously got your heart in the palm of her hand" she asks.  
" y/n,.... her name is y/n " Michael then turns and looks back at her.  
" she must be very beautiful,...to make you change your mind like this" she replies, raising an eyebrow questionably.  
" She is,.... she's very beautiful,... she's perfect" Michael replies.  
" Wow,....perfect" she laughs, amused by his comment, as if to mock him.  
" Look,... I feel bad even talking to you about her,...like I'm betraying her just by telling you her name and talking about her to you" Michael replies.  
" Why,... we haven't yet done anything,...?" she replies, again in a mocking manner.  
" But I almost,.... I'm drunk,...and I'm high right now..." Michael replies, " but I came to my senses,.."  
" You can still change your mind,..." she laughs, "have a night to remember,..."  
" Look,... I'm sure that you would be amazing,..." he smiles, " and maybe if I met you a few years ago,...yes,...definitely" he continues, " but I'm a one woman man,.... well,.. I am ever since I met her,..."  
" Wow,... is she that good in bed or something,..?" she laughs.  
Michael let's out a shocked laugh.  
" She's just the only girl that I have ever truly loved,... will ever love" Michael replies, " I just can't risk losing her and what I have with her,....not just for a night of carefree drunken sex,...however good it may be or may feel at the time,... it just would not be worth it,... not for me" he continues, " however drunk and horny I may feel right now,....the risk is too great,... if you knew how much I love her".  
" Wow,... I hope I find a man who speaks about me how you speak about her,... really,... I'm filling up here,..." she laughs again.  
He shakes his head, like he realises that she was mocking him.  
" I hope you find a man that does,..." he replies bluntly, his face now cold as he gets up and walks over to join Tommy and Johnny Doggs, not wanting to rile her up anymore by the fact that he had just rejected her sexual advances tonight.  
He starts up a conversation with them, but soon gets lost within his thoughts again as he lights up another cigarette.  
His guilty thoughts.  
God,... what did he almost do.  
He loved y/n so much,... and he is so drunk and drugged up that he almost cheated on her.  
Even though he didn't,...he still feels diguisted with himself that even the slightest thought went through his brain.  
He still felt like he had just betrayed her somehow.  
He was no longer enjoying tonight.  
He was now longing for it to be over as soon as possible.  
His time in London was now tainted, and he just wanted to get back home to Birmingham as soon as possible now.  
Back to y/n.  


\------------------------------------------

Two days Later

Birmingham - Shelby Company Limited.  


{ Some of Michael's pov from Chapter 35 when he returned home}

Michael sighed heavily as he packed up the paperwork in his briefcase and headed out of his office to get into his car to drove home.  
He had been back home now for two days.  
He had returned home yesterday, so excited to see y/n again.  
He had longed to see her, he had missed her so much that it had ached his heart.  
He just felt that as long as he could see her and hold her,...everything would be alright again.  
He had expected her to come over for dinner last night, knowing that he had been arriving home yesterday.  
But she hadn't shown up.  
She had not shown up even though she knew that it was his first night home after being away for a week.  
His mom has told him that she had gone out with her best friend Maggie instead.  
That had annoyed him greatly,... it had angered him greatly.  
It had hurt him greatly.  
Maybe she was still angry at him for going to London in the first place.  
Maybe she was angry at him for never calling her once while he had been away in London.  
He kind of wished that he had now.  
He was just dying to see her so much.  
He pulled up outside his and Polly's home, and made his way up the path and opened the front door with his key.  
He walked through the door and took off his work jacket, hanging it up on the peg as he placed his work briefcase on the side.  
And as he turned around, he saw her sitting there on the sofa, chatting away and drinking wine with his mother.  
He felt his heart race a little in his chest at seeing her there.  
Finally,... she was here.  
He huffed however at her lack of response to him arriving home as he clenched his jaw and put his hands in his pockets as he walked over to them both, as if they were both obvlious to him coming home.  
" Oh,... hello" he finally decided to say over to her, the sarcasm coming across heavily in his voice at her ignoring him somewhat.  
Why had she not been here yesterday when he returned home like he had imagined she would of been.  
He knew that it was childish, but he hated that she had put him in second place behind her friend like that.  
He wanted to be her number one priority,... however childish he felt it sounded.  
" Hi Sweetheart,..." she replied, her eyes finally landing on him as she smiled brightly at him.  
That big beautiful smile of hers.  
He remembered the first time he ever saw that beautiful smile,... he remembered it was like the sun shining on him when she smiled.  
Her beautiful smile still felt like that,...as if the sun always shone as long as she smiled.  
But now if felt like her smile should only be for him,... and for him alone.  
" So,... you made it over here today then?" he sarcastically asked, as he made his way over to sit in the armchair opposite both her and Polly, as he glares intently at her.  
He was getting annoyed at her lack of emotion to him returning home, yet he continued to stare at her, wanting his eyes to take in every part of her.  
He had missed her so much,.... he just wanted to memorize every part of her beautiful face again.  
He had only been gone for just a week.  
Yet it was like a week had been too long away from her and he had forgotten just how beautiful she truly was now that she was in front of him again.  
And his eyes wanted to adore every part of her now she was back in front of him again, even if he was annoyed at her right now.  
" Yeah,... of course I've come over tonight" she smiled back at him.  
It was as if she couldn't sense his annoyance at her.  
It was probably for the best,... he didn't really want to argue with her.  
He had missed her so much,... he was just so glad that she was now here.  
" Oh right,..." he replies, shaking his head and letting out another annoyed huff,... as he decided to try and let go of his annoyance.  
She was here now,... and that was all that mattered  
" Why,... what ever is a matter,...?" she asks him curiously.  
She had now obviously noticed his mood, as he looks between both her and his mother, who were both staring back him almost intriguingly.  
He let's out a heavy sigh, as he looks down at the armchair.  
" No,...nothing is a matter" he replies, keeping his eyes fixed on the arm of the armchair, as he shakes his head.  
" Did you have a good day at work,...?" Polly then asks him, as she stands up and makes her way into the kitchen.  
He mumbles a reply to her, but his eyes were too busy scanning over y/n's body.  
Why was she dressed like that?  
Her dress was so revealing,... and her make up?  
So much more heavier than usual?  
Had she done it specially for seeing him?  
She looked as if she was about to go out on the town,... not spend an evening in with him and his mother.  
She was almost dressed like those tarts from the other night in London.  
Not like his y/n at all.  
She didn't need to dress like that to look attractive to him.  
She looked stunningly beautiful just naturally.  
" Where were you yesterday,... when I got back from London,...?" he found himself blurting out to her.  
He didn't want to show her how much she had hurt him by not being there when he had returned home,.. yet he still let his emotions get the better of him.  
" Oh I was with Maggie,..." he watched her reply, as if it was nothing.  
" Oh right,.... " he found himself scoffing back.  
She then started to tell him about this book club they had now joined.  
He had been away for a whole week,... the longest they had ever spent apart from eachother.  
And she had not turned up to see him on his first night home due to some fucking book club.  
He could feel his annoyance rise again, as he decided to bring up her choice of new clothing.  
" You look different,..." he then decided to say.  
" Huh,..." she replied, as if she was confused.  
" You look different,... your dress,.... its new,... and its very,..." he started, not knowing how to describe it, without offending her.  
" Very what,...? " he felt her ask.  
" You know,...its just,.... very sexy" he replies.  
" Sexy,..." he sees her then laugh.  
" I mean,... you look nice,... really nice,.... its just very sexy,... that's all,.... did you wear that when you went into work today?" he finds himself asking.  
She did look absolutely gorgeous tonight,...in fact too gorgeous in fact.  
He could feel himself getting jealous of the fact that people may have seen her dress like this.  
She was his,... and no one else's.  
To think that he very nearly almost drunkenly made the most stupid mistake of his life the other night in London.  
He was with the most beautiful girl in the world.  
And she was his,... and nobody else's.  
" There's other men that work in Tommy's house you know,..." he continues.  
" Oh my god,.... are you getting jealous,..." he suddenly heard her laugh.  
She was right,... he was jealous.  
And he was sounding ridiculous.  
Y/N would never cheat on him.  
He knew how lucky he was,..what a good, faithful girl he had for a fiancee.  
He really was so lucky.  
He didn't deserve her.  
Not after what he almost did.  
He just wanted to marry her.  
Now more than ever.  


Later on, as they headed to bed, he finally relished in the fact that he was finally going to be alone with her for the first time since he returned.  
He had waited so long for this.  
However his eyes paused, and he felt his intimate region stiffen as she got underneath the covers in a small and black lacy night dress.  
He had never seen her in it before,... and the sight of her in it was making him rock hard.  
He found himself kissing her bare shoulders and wrapping his arms around her.  
She felt like heaven,... he had waited so long for this moment.  
To finally have her in his arms again.  
No other woman could ever compare to how she felt against his skin.  
The sight of her,... the feel of her,... the smell of her.  
She really was heaven in human form.  
However all of a sudden, he felt her pull away from him and she giggled as she reached out and grabbed a book from her side of the bed and started reading it.  
" What on earth are you doing,...?" he finds himself asking her.  
This had to be some kind of joke.  
They had been apart for over a week.  
" I'm reading this book,... for my book club that I was telling you about earlier" she replies.  
" Seriously,..." he replies, the thought in his head coming out of his mouth instantly.  
And soon they started an argument,... what he really didn't want.  
" I'm confused,... what is going on here,... are you trying to punish me or something for going to London after you begged me not to go " he finally replies.  
He felt like she was trying to punish him.  
But deep down,... he felt like he should be punished.  
Punished for hurting her the way he did.  
She denied it of course, and he found himself spilling his true feelings out to her.  
" Look, I am really sorry about everything that happened before I left,...and yes,... I had been keeping my involvement in the other side of the business from you,.. after we promised no more secrets between us,... and yes, I still went to London with the others when you begged me not too,.. but I only kept it from you to protect you,.. and it did bother me seeing you cry the way you did before I left,... I thought about it every night that I was away,.. I hated seeing you cry,...and I've missed you so much,....and I hate being apart from you" he smiles.  
" Thank you,... thank you for being sorry" she smiles back at him, her pretty eyes so soft and forgiving at him.  
" I love you y/n,...you do know that?" he softly asks her, and he smiles as he watches her nod back.  
" I love you too Michael,... so much you'll never know" she smiles back, and her words are the most amazing words that he could ever hear.  
How did he ever get this lucky?  
He then feels this strong animalistic lust for her take over him, as he removes the book from her hand and starts kissing his way down her neck, as his one hand wanders underneath the bed covers to touch her, as desire takes over him.  
" Actually,... I need to talk to you about something" she suddenly says, wriggling out from his embrace.  
And he suddenly feels his stomach fill with dread.  
" I was thinking,... while you were away,...that it would be nice for us to wait until our wedding night,... you know,... for us to wait till then to have sex with each other" she smiles ever so sweetly at him.  
Although, he feels like he has just been smacked across the face with something heavy.  
Was this really some kind of punishment?  
" But,... we have already had sex before y/n,...lots of times before,..." he finds himself trying desperately to make her give in, as she argues her reasons to him.  
" No,... I'm being serious,... we have done a week without it already,.. let's make it special,...." she continues,...... " it will be so special,...like the first time all over again,... and so worth the wait,.. "  
However she seems reluctant to give in.  
And he wanted her so badly right now.  
But he soon gives in to her,... reluctantly,... but he does.  
If it was what she really wanted.  
She was worth the wait after all.  
She would always be worth the wait.  
What would be three months when he would then have an entire lifetime to make love to her.  
However hard it would be for him.  
And she was right,... he supposed it would make it so special.  
He then just lied there wide awake for a while, watching her as she slept peacefully.  
She looked so beautiful as she slept,... like an real life angel.  
God, he loved her so much.  
And if anything over the past week in London had taught him,... he had no plans to ever be apart from her again.  
And he would never let anyone or anything ever take her away from him.  
He would sooner die than let that ever happen.  



	46. Chapter 46

Reader's POV

What the fuck is happening?  
What the fuck do I do right now?  
Those were the only two sentences that were going around in your head at a hundred miles an hour, as you felt his lips on yours.  
Oh my god,....No!!!  
Maybe you had gone a little too far with your acting.  
Either way, he was now kissing you.  
And it felt horrible,.... you felt horrible.  
And you realised in that moment that the only man that you ever wanted kissing you again was Michael.  
Suddenly you felt him try to invade your mouth with his tongue.  
Oh fuck,... it was getting worse.  
What did you do?  
Back away and risk offending him,... the crazy, potentially deadly man that was keeping you hostage.  
And what,.... risk the dangerous aftermath of you rejecting him.  
Or did you just go along with it?  
So you could stay alive?  
However horrible this was, option two was probably your safest option right now.  
His hand was now cupping your cheek, and he suddenly intensified the kiss and you felt his other hand begin to wander down your front and around your waist.  
You could feel his breath on you,... and it was making you want to gag.  
However, you kept up with the pretence, hoping it to keep you safe,... and to keep you alive.  
His tongue carried on intruding your mouth, and you were praying that he could not tell that you really weren't enjoying this.  
Please don't go any further,... your mind was sliently begging.  
What do I do if he does,... your mind began to panic.  
But suddenly and with some luck he eventually stops the kiss, as if to catch his breath as he then looks at you with a devilish grin across his smug face.  
" I bet that stupid boy of yours has never kissed you like that,..?" he smirks back at you, as if he wanted praise for that horrible experience you just had to endure.  
" No,..." was all that you manage to get out of your mouth, as you shake your head with an awkward laugh, not wanting to look at him in the eye while he was just staring at you so intently, it made you want the floor to open up and swallow you whole just so you could avoid his constant gaze.  
" You've never been with a man before sweetheart,.... only a boy" he grins, and he is still so close to your face that you can still feel his breath on you, " a silly pathetic little boy that doesn't realise what he's got,... or shall I say,... what he had" he continues, as he smirks widely and strokes your cheek softly with his thumb.  
You didn't know where he was taking this,...but you were secretly dreading where this was leading too.  
" He's still a boy,.... who will just keep continuing to break your heart darling" he smirks, " he will keep on messing you around,.... and he will just keep on cheating on you and betraying you until you wake up one day and realise that you have wasted your whole life on a man who was never worthy of you,...and a man who has never really ever loved you".  
His words feel like a million knifes to your core.  
Because you worry that he may be right.  
What if Michael has cheated on you, and has really betrayed you?  
And if he has,.... was it the one and only time?  
More than likely not?  
How many other times have there probably been when he had got drunk and gone off with his cousins or other peaky blinders?  
How many other girls might there of been behind your back?  
How many other times could he of spent the night inside another woman and then saw you the next day or so when you had gone round to his and Polly's for dinner.  
How many times might he have bare faced looked at you right in your eyes and told you that he loved you and then made love to you having just been with someone else only a day or so before.  
You started to feel yourself burning up,... and beginning to feel sick.  
These dreaded thoughts were getting to much to bear.  
What if Eddie is right,... what if he really doesn't love you.  
What if he never has,...or worse, once did but now longer does.  
And what if one day very soon, he meets someone else, so much better than you in his eyes, and you are just going to get chucked out of his life and replaced by one of these new girls he has been sleeping with as if you are nothing but a bag of rubbish.  
You could feel your tears begin to burn in your eyes.  
And you notice Eddie noticing them.  
" I know it hurts sweetheart,.... but let me tell you that I think that you are worth a thousand of him" he smiles, " he's nothing, darling,....and you are worth so much more than him,... you are worth the sun, the moon and all of the stars in the sky" he says, running his fingers softly through your hair again.  
You then let out an amused chuckle, to mask how annoyed you were at yourself for letting the tears run freely down your face in front of him.  
" You don't even know me,...." you reply, trying to regain some level of control back, " how do you know what I'm worth,... maybe I deserve to be cheated on,....... maybe I deserve nothing other than heartache,...for being with a gangster in the first place,... maybe it's what I deserve".  
" No,....." he replies, shaking his head, " In my line of work,...I know people,.... and I can tell that your not a bad person,.. your sweet and your kind,... I can tell that from just being with you for these past few days,... and that someone as good as you shouldn't be punished for being with someone like him,.... and being associated with people like them through no fault of your own" he smiles.  
You smile, believing his words to be kind.  
But still, you feel broken, at the constant thought of Michael possibly cheating on you.  
And destroying what you both had together,... or what you thought you both had together.  
How stupid were you to think that you really had it all.  
That the great Michael Gray really did love you out of all people,... out of all the girls he could possibly want and be with,...that he really ever could love you as much as you love him.  
Have you been such a fool this whole time?  
All you knew was that the thought of Michael being with someone else was ripping your insides up right now.  
You really wanted to ask Eddie right here and now if he was definitely certain about all of this, ... was there even a tiny bit of chance that he could be mistaken?  
A part of you really still wanted to believe that what you and Michael have was real,.... and that he would never do that to you.  
That he did love you,... everyone was always telling you that.  
Surely they couldn't all of been wrong?  
Including his own mother,... and Polly never seemed to get anything wrong.  
All was that what you were just convincing yourself?  
" So what about it then, beautiful,...?" you heard Eddie then say to you, knocking you out of your thoughts.  
" Huh,..?" you reply.  
You were so lost in constant thoughts about Michael, you had forgotten for a split second that Eddie was still even here.  
" Coming back to London with me,..." Eddie replied, his eyes scanning your face.  
Fuck,...!!!  
Was this guy really serious?  
He had kidnapped you, was holding you hostage,... even if he was being so nice to you right now.  
And even so,... you still only loved one person.  
Even if you were seriously doubting him so badly right now.  
But you had to convince this Eddie guy that you didn't love Michael.  
You truly believed that was probably your best shot at keeping yourself alive.  
And rejecting Eddie was probably not going to do you any favours if you wanted to stay alive and get back home.  
" Go back to London with you,... whatever for?" you asked.  
You probably really didn't want to know the answer to that, but you were trying to buy yourself some more time.  
" It sounds stupid,..." he replied, and he started to awkwardly laugh and act nervous.  
Whether it was just an act or not,... you couldn't quite tell.  
" No,... go on,..." you give him a soft, sweet smile, but you could feel your stomach begin to fill with dread.  
" It's just,...." he smiles, in a coy way, " I suppose I have made no secret that I have started to like you,.." he replies, and he touches your lips with his thumb, in a intimate kind of way.  
This really was going so horribly wrong.  
Or was it?  
Could you use this to your advantage?  
However horrible this felt right now.  
" I would treat you so much better than him,.. I think that you are probably the most beautiful and sweetest girl that I have ever met,... and I still believe that you are way too good for him,... you deserve happiness" he replies.  
But Michael was your happiness.  
No matter what you might be believing he may have done right now,....you could never feel any greater happiness than you half felt by being with Michael.  
But it was probably best not to say that.  
You just nervously laugh slightly, and shake your head as you feel his eyes boring into you like daggers.  
" What would I do in London,...?" you try and avoid the question, " my job is here,...I would have no money,.. nothing to live on if I just left for London".  
" But you would be with me,... I would give you everything that you needed,... everything that you could ever want,,.. I have money,... you would want for nothing" he replied, his eyes sparkling somewhat at you, as if he really believed that you would really accept his proposal.  
" But,... but my mom,... and all my friends,... they are all here,.. I couldn't just leave them all" you reply, and you feel him sigh instantly and heavily with annoyance.  
" You could visit them whenever you wanted, and phone them everyday,... in time, you could even move your mom to London if that is what would make you happy,... I just feel that you deserve to be happy,.... and have a fresh start,... away from those monsters who have treated you like shit for so long."  
" I,... I don't,.... I don't know what to say,... " you stutter.  
How could things get anymore worse than right now?  
How the hell were you going to get out of this?  
" Say yes,.. and we will be gone,... and you can start all over again,... away from him,... with me" he smiles, and touches the side of your face again.  
You just stare back at him.  
How could you say that you didn't want anyone else but Michael.  
That all you wanted was to go back home to Michael, and find out the truth.  
And that hopefully all of your fears right now were in fact completely wrong.  
That it has all been nothing but horrible lies.  
And Michael did love you,... he has always loved you and he has always been faithful to you.  
And then you could carry on just being happy and marry him like you were suppose too.  
You just were not ready to give up on that dream,... not now,... not ever.  
But you couldn't afford to tell Eddie that.  
Not if you wanted to survive him.  
" I,...I,...." you stutter, not knowing how to get out of this.  
" I,... I,...what,...?" he mimics you, " your going to stick around here for a man who neither loves, cares or respects you,...for his family to always treat you as if you are just the nanny,...I mean,... that it what you are to them,... you will always be nothing but a member of staff to the lot of them,... they will never see you as anything else,... they will never see you as their equal,... and he will never be able to give you his heart,... why stick around to experience more and more heartbreak until he eventually rids you from his life like you were nothing to him,...because he will,.... I saw him in London sweetheart,... I know that his heart isn't here with you,...he is hardly giving you a second thought while he going around and shagging his other tarts with his cousins,...please,.... just finally have some respect for yourself and come with me,... I will treat you in a way that he never would,... don't worry about money,... I will take care of you" he smiles.  
His words pierce your heart,... why was he so convinced that Michael didn't love you?  
Why was he so convinced that Michael has constantly been unfaithful to you?  
You feel your insides twist up, and in that split second, you let your guard down.  
Your desperation for just needing to know that there could still be a small chance that he may be wrong about Michael, that Michael did love you and has never cheated on you or betrayed you made you accidently let your emotions get the better of you,... and that was when it all went so terribly wrong.  
" I,... I just need to know first,... I just need to know that he has done what you have said he has,... that he has cheated,... and that he doesn't really love me,...I just need to be sure" you reply.  
And then his smile turns sour, his face frighteningly cold,... and his eyes so sinister and dark.  
Why did you have to just say that?  
It was like his whole demeanour instantly changed.  
It was like you had just lit a match, and you saw him in his true evilness in the light of that flame.  
" You still don't believe me,... do you,...?" he spat, his words venomous and so full of anger.  
" I,... I,... I just don't know,..." you stutter, feeling as if you were about to get on the recieving end of his full wrath.  
" You really are that stupid,... aren't you,... and here was me thinking you might of had a brain inside that skull of yours,.. no wonder he treats you like he does,... he knows he can get away with it,... I bet he does nothing but laugh at you behind your back with his cousins,... I bet they all laugh at you,.." he taunts.  
You feel his words burn you, and you are so shocked by them that you can not even master a reply.  
" Don't you like me,... is that it,... after I have been so kind to you,.. I have just offered to help you,...to give you such a better life,... you would never have to work.. you would want for nothing with me and yet you have just thrown it back in my face,... don't you find me attractive,... is that it,... does Michael Gray turn you on so much more,..." he sneers at you.  
" No,... no,... of course not" you lie,.. not liking where this might be leading too, " Of course I like you,...you have been so kind to me,.. and I am so grateful,..."  
" So what is it then,... you just like to be treated like shit,...?" he laughs at you in a mocking way.  
" No,... no,...its,... its,..." you stutter, not knowing how to get out of this, before he cuts you off.  
" No,... No,... thats it,..." he snaps at you, " I have tried to be nice to you,.. I have tried to be kind to you,... christ, I have even tried to help you,... but no,... from now on,...its best that you learn the hard way."  
And just like that, he grabs the nearby rope, and ties you back up with, purposely pulling at it tightly so you moan out in pain at the force and tightness of it around you.  
" Please,... please,... don't,... what are you doing,...?" you plead.  
But he carries on until you are tightly secured and cannot even move, as he then stuffs your mouth with a gag forcefully, and wraps it around your lower face tightly, so you could no longer even talk.  
" You,... young lady,... are going to learn the hard way from now on,..." he replies, his voice stern and lacking emotion, as he then looks down at you with such a look of pure anger on his face that it leaves your blood cold, as he then storms out of the room, turning the lights off as he does so you are in nothing but complete darkness again, as you then hear the door slam shut and the lock turn, and your tears begin to fall down your face again in fear.  


\-------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

It had seemed like hours since Eddie had tied you back up and slammed the door shut on you to be left alone and locked away in complete darkness once again.  
Why did you have to go and fuck it up like that.  
Why couldn't you of just carried on with the act and just gone along with him...it could of kept you alive telling him exactly what you felt that he wanted to hear from you.  
But now,... now you were fearing for your life.  
You had seriously pissed him off,...and you had no idea what he meant when he said that now you would be learning the hard way.  
Had he changed his mind,... was he going to kill you now.  
You had cried and cried to yourself until exhaustion got the better of you,... and you had fallen asleep.  
Suddenly the noise of the door being swung open and the light turning on, made you bolt up right, instantly awaking you as the light hurt your tired eyes.  
" Fucking bastard,.... you see,... you see I told you so, " he yelled at you, pointing at you with such anger in his eyes.  
" What,... what has happened,...what's going on?" you asked with fear.  
If the light turning on as well as the noise of the door banging open had not of woken you up, his yelling certainly had.  
" Your bastard of a boss, Thomas Shelby and that jumped up bastard of a boyfriend of yours Michael Gray,... that's what,...? " he yelled, as he then kicked a nearby chair violently.  
" What,... what has happened?" you asked him again, pulling at the rope that was binding you to the wall.  
He then looked over at you, and let out a callous kind of laugh.  
" And you thought that he loved you,... you really believed that there was a chance that he really did love you,.." he smirked at you, shaking his head, " Me and my boys have just met up the peaky blinders tonight to have you handed back over to them in exchange for the money they all took from me,... all I wanted was my money back in exchange for your life".  
You gulped, as he crouched down so his face was now level with yours, as he continued to wear that evil smirk on his face.  
" But they refused,..." he sneered, " do you believe that,....apparently,... your not even worth a single thing to them,....not even a single penny,..." he smirked, as he then started to laugh insanely.  
You gulped even harder, as the confusion started to wash over you, and you watched him as he leaned forward even closer into your face.  
" Apparently,.... they don't even care what happens to you,... they don't even care whether you live or die darling and they are never going to hand over the money back to me for your safety,... and that came from Michael's very own mouth" he continues, shaking his head.  
" W,...w,... what,...?" you stuttered,... your mind going into overdrive.  
" Michael said that he doesn't care,.... that they all don't care,... he said that they were not going to give me the money back just for a girl that doesn't mean shit to them....you know,... Michael actually told me to do what I liked with you,...that you had never really meant anything to him anyway,... that you were nothing more than just a boring, dumb nanny that he just had a bit of fun with,...that you were never anything special to him and that he was growing bored of you anyway,...that he had been looking for any excuse to break up the whole engagement thing anyway,... that's why he went to London in the first place,...he actually looked quite relieved,.. before telling me that they would never pay me back for your safe return,....Tommy even backed him up,... that they can just employ another nanny,... that you were worthless,...not even worth the bother,... although, to be fair,... Michael did tell me to tell you that he was sorry,... but that business was business,... but he was sorry that you had been caught in the crossfire,...if that gives you any kind of comfort" he laughed.  
You started to feel as if you could no longer breathe.  
" They won't give me even a penny of my money back for you,...can you believe that... all the money Tommy Shelby has as well,... and now,... now I'm stuck with you,..." he snapped at you.  
He then started insanely laughing again.  
" I wonder when Tommy does employ a new nanny to replace you,... I wonder if Michael will fuck that one, as well,... it would be amusing to find out,... wouldn't it? " he sneered at you.  
Although you could no longer focus on what he was saying to you right now, your brain was spinning around in overdrive, and you felt like your lungs were giving up in their effort to allow you to breathe.  
" I told you,... I told you that you meant nothing to him,...to any of them,... that you were nothing more than just an employed nanny to them all,... nothing more than another servant in their home that one of them was fooling about with but you just wouldn't listen to me,... and I tried to warn you" he was now shouting into your face.  
You felt the tears roll down your face,....he must be right.  
They must of refused to pay him back.  
Michael really didn't even care about you,... let alone love you.  
None of them cared,...they had left you here to rot.  
" But no,... you didn't listen to me" he continued to say, as he shook his head at you, and looks at you with displeasure, " but I suppose the question is,....what the fuck do I do with you now?"


	47. Chapter 47

Michael's POV

Michael walked down the stairs to make his way back into the office to join the others again.  
He had finally allowed himself to break down in the bathroom upstairs,... finally allowed himself to cry once he was completely alone.  
And he never cried.  
He couldn't even remember the last time that he ever did.  
He didn't like crying.  
Michael had always found it extremely weak to cry.  
Thats why he never knew what to do or what to say whenever y/n would cry in front of him whenever they would have an argument.  
He would always just ignore it until she stopped, and then they could get about to making up again.  
How he now regretted the fact that he never held her, not even once whenever she had cried.  
He should of held her in his arms and kissed her all of those times that she had cried in front of him.  
He may never get that chance back ever again now.  
He then tried to block such a thought out of his head.  
It would only cripple him to think like that.  
That he might never see her again.  
That he may of lost her forever.  
His mother was right,... he had to stay strong.  
He had to stay strong for y/n.  
She needed him more than ever right now.  
And there was nothing in this world that he wouldn't do for her.  
That frightened him,.. but it was true.  
She was his whole world,... and he was never going to let anyone ever harm her or ever take her away from him.  
His emotions had now turned to a stage of complete anger.  
That somebody had took the most precious thing in his life away from him.  
That someone could be frightening her so badly right now,... and making her cry.  
And Michael was never ever going to forgive that... he was never ever going to let that go.  
They had messed with the wrong man's girl. 

As soon as he walked back into the office, he felt everyone's eyes turn and look at him as he re entered the room.  
Polly and Ada had since joined them all back downstairs, and they were all glaring at him with anticipation now that he had just re entered the room again after such a violent outburst just an hour before,.... the great big hole that was still in the middle of the door a reminder to everyone of that particular outburst.  
" You alright,...?" Tommy asked him, as Michael started to look around the room at everyone else staring at him.  
Polly's eyes were wide and sympathetic at him as she straightened himself up as she noticed him coming back into the room, staring at her son like she instantly could feel the pain and worry that he must be feeling.  
Ada was looking at him in the same way as well.  
Finn was just as wide eyed as his Aunt and sister, as he then looked between his three older brothers upon seeing Michael return back into the room, like he didn't know how to expect Michael to behave again this time.  
The teenage boy, the youngest member of the family had not yet ever experienced love, not real love.  
Not the painful, all consuming kind.  
He would not understand what made a man lose his mind over a woman.  
Even more so of the possibility of losing the woman that he loved.  
Michael then noticed that John had his hands in his pockets and was looking at the floor with a bleak look on his face, as if to avoid Michael's eye, like he didn't know what to say to him whereas Arthur was glaring straight at him.  
It was as if Arthur knew exactly what a man with such pent up anger inside of him who could explode at any moment looked like.  
Isaiah just looked at him solemnly, and gave him a small nod, as if to tell his mate that he was here for him, and ready to do whatever it took to get his girl back to him.  
He then saw Uncle Charlie just looking back at him, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and his tired eyes looking pitiful at him, as Curly stood next to him, holding his peaky cap in his hand and nervously twitching and looking around the room at everyone else, as if Curly was expecting Michael to get upset again at any moment.  
Michael then suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and a gently pat on it in a kind of reassuring way.  
It was Johnny Doggs, who just nodded back at him as Michael's eyes then met his, again, the older man giving the younger one a slient act of reassurance.  
Michael's eyes then turned back to Tommy, who was standing there, wide eyed and awaiting his reply.  
Michael however just nodded back at him, again, in his own slient way of saying that he had sorted his head out and had now pushed all of his emotions to back of his head in order to do what needed to be done to get y/n back.  
" Good,..." Tommy replied with a nod, as if he was secretly proud of Michael for pulling himself together.  
He knew that Tommy must know how he must be feeling right now,.. after all,... Tommy had already experienced what had always been Michael's greatest fear.  
Losing the love of his life because of the dangerous and illicit life that this family led.  
The life that Michael in fact loved, until it had now got the person he loved the most in harms way.  
" Have you heard any more from them,...?" Michael then asked, trying to break the slient tension within the room.  
" No,... he just said that he will be back in contact with us in a bit,...to arrange a meet,.... someone will stay constantly by the phone,..." Tommy replied.  
" Right,... good,... I need to get her back as soon as possible" Michael replied back.  
" You will,....we will,... she will be back here safe and sound before you know it,..." Polly nods to him, her worried eyes boring into him as Michael knew that she was just trying to reassure her panic striken son.  
" And I want to be there,..." Michael then announced to the room, as he saw everyone start to look between one another.  
" I need to be there when he hands her back over to us,..." Michael continues, to all of their concerning glares.  
He then watches Tommy look over at Polly in a concerned manner, before then looking between John and Arthur.  
" I have got to be there Tom,...were not even discussing the matter,... she's my girl,...i'm being there when it happens" Michael replied.  
" Do you think that is really wise,..?" Arthur spoke up, his voice coarse and his eyes penetrating Michael sharply.  
Michael turned and glared back at him with the same sharpness and intensity.  
" Where the fuck else am I going to be,...?" Michael replied, his tone cold and harsh at his cousin, as if to tell him not to question him again.  
" Arthur may have a point,..." Tommy then said, as Michael's head spun around and shot Tommy a disapproving look, and Tommy instantly sensed Michael's irritation at what had just been suggested,  
" It may be for the best that you stay here and wait for us to bring her back,... its just that we are far more experienced in situations like this,...and we know from past experiences,.... when something like this involves someone close to you,...someone that you love,...things can get a bit haywire,... a bit out of control" Tommy continued, raising his hand at him.  
" Out of control,... they have my fiancee,....she's about to be my fucking wife Tommy,..." Michael replied, the anger spitting out of him as he spoke.  
" Look, ... this is what I mean,... that temper, that anger... this is exactly what I'm talking about,... and what Arthur meant" Tommy continued to point at him, " your far too emotional,...because she's your girl,... I know that you think that you have got this,...that you can push all your emotions aside but when you get in there,...when you see her and what they might of done to her,...believe me Michael from past experiences,... you won't be able to control yourself,... you will let your anger and your rage get the better of you,...and that could put y/n in even more danger,... and you don't want that, do you,...? " Tommy almost ordered at him.  
" Tommy's right Michael,..." John backed up his brother, " you won't be able to stop yourself from trying to kill the bastards if they have so much as given her a black eye or a bruised lip,... and I know you will want to be there to kill them if that is so,...but if its getting y/n back home safely that you want,.. ita probably best that you aren't there to see that as it could fuck everything up if you let rip at them for revenge,.... you don't want to watch them then put a bullet in her head because you couldn't control yourself" John continued, staring his cousin out.  
Michael huffed,... he didn't want to agree, he wanted to be there.  
He wanted to see the faces of the bastards that had took her.  
And he also wanted y/n to see that he had come for her.  
But John was right,... he did have all intentions of making them pay for what they had done.  
And he knew it in himself that he would not be able to control himself if even a single hair was now missing from her head, let alone a black eye or bruised lip on her face.  
He would give each and every one of them a painful death a thousand times over for it.  
" We will just be able to go in there a lot more clear headed than you, .... it will be a lot safer for y/n that's its us that will be there" he then heard Arthur say.  
" It's not that we don't care about y/n,...because we do" Tommy then said to him, as Michael just stared back at Tommy with narrow eyes, " she's about to become your wife in less than three months time,... and that makes her a member of this family,...its just that we all will be able to think a lot more clearer than you will be able to in the situation,... because its your girl they have got Michael,... it would be the exactly the same if it was Linda or Esme being held,.... " Tommy continued.  
There was suddenly a long silence within the room.  
Michael didn't want to agree, but he was being over ruled.  
" It is a lot better for y/n this way darling... much safer for her,... and that's all you want, isn't it? " Polly nodded at him, as she walked over to him and wrapped her arm around him.  
They all seemed to have decided for him that he wasn't going to be there,... but he still didn't have to agree with them.  
" We will get her back for you,...." Tommy then said to him.  
Michael looked between him and his mother, and then back at Tommy.  
" Give me your word Tommy,..." Michael then asked him, " I'm not agreeing to it unless you give me your word,... that you will do everything they ask of you as long as it brings her back home safely to me" Michael continued.  
He felt water begin to fill up in his eyes, as he tried his hardest not to let the forming tears fall.  
He must stay strong.  
" We will Michael,..." Tommy nodded seriously.  
" Your word,.... I want you to give me your word,... unless I'm not agreeing to not being there" Michael replied, his eyes narrow and sharp at his cousin.  
" You have my word Michael,... whatever it takes, we will get her back" Tommy nods seriously again..  
Michael then started to nod back, as he exhaled a long and heavy breath.  
One thing he knew about Tommy, was that he was not a man to go back on his word.  
Not to a member of his own.  
" Alright,... Alright,..." Michael continued to nod, " but I'm not stopping at home waiting around not knowing what the fuck is happening,...i'm still coming with you,... but I will wait outside instead,... I will even sit in the car a few streets away if I have to,... I just can't sit at home waiting,... I'll go even more insane".  
He then saw Tommy heavily sigh, and look at him disapprovingly.  
" I won't go in,.. I won't barge in and mess everything up I promise,..." Michael replied to Tommy's harsh look,  
" Like I said, I'll wait in the car a few streets away if I have too,...you can even have someone sit with me so I definitely don't do anything stupid,... I love her Tom,.. I just have to be there waiting for her when they hand her back."  
The room went slient again, and he saw his mother next to him look back over at Tommy.  
" I'll sit with him,...keep the lad company and make sure that he doesn't do anything daft" he then heard Johnny Doggs say over to Tommy.  
He then notices Tommy, Arthur and John all seem to nod between each other.  
" Alright,... but you wait with Johnny,....ok,....for y/n's sake" Tommy replied, his eyes penetrating Michael as if it was an order.  
Michael nods in agreement, and he then let's out another deep, long breath.  
" How is it going down then,... I need to know,...?" Michael then asked them all.  
" Honestly,... we are going to give him the money that we took from him in exchange for y/n,... that's what he has asked for,... and that's what we are going to give him,..." Tommy replied to him.  
" We are just waiting on him to call us back for the time and place,..." Polly then says, rubbing Michael's back with her hand.  
" But it is today,... it is going to be today,... isnt it? " Michael then asked them all.  
" Well,... he said that he wanted it back in no more than twenty four hours,... so that would make tomorrow at 3 o' clock the entire twenty four hours,... so I'm guessing it's going to be anytime before then" Tommy replied.  
" 3 o'clock tomorrow,..." Michael almost spat back.  
" At the very latest darling,...." Polly replied to him.  
" But,.. but that means she will be held somewhere with him over night,..." Michael replied, looking back and forth between them both.  
" I know,... I know,..." Polly replied, sensing his growing panic.  
" That's what he said Michael,... let's just hope it's before then,...hey" Tommy replied, trying to calm him down, " just in the mean time,... let's just get the money ready to be able to hand it back to this fucker,.." Tommy continued.  
Michael nodded his head, but the inside of his head was completely somewhere else entirely.  
Tommy was right, Eddie had kidnapped her last night after he had left her alone at her house, and then had not rang Tommy's until 3 o' clock this afternoon demanding the ramson as they had spent up until the early afternoon just thinking that her bus had just broken down and she had been running late for work.  
It wasn't until him and Polly had turned up at Tommy's to see if there had been any word or sight of her that Tommy had received Eddie's phonecall, stating that they had twenty four hours to give him the money back.  
If he did mean the whole twenty four hours,... that was the rest of tonight and almost the whole of tomorrow until he was going to get her back.  
It was too long,... it was far too long.  
Yet there was nothing he could do about it.  
" OK,... OK,..." Michael nodded, his head still not with them all in the room, " what do you need me to do,...?" he then asked.  
" We are going to sort it out,..." Polly then replied to him, soothingly rubbing his back again.  
" Yeah,... I'm going to sort getting the money,.... you don't need to worry about that Michael" Ada softly smiled at him.  
" I need to do something,... I can't just sit around waiting all tonight and tomorrow not doing anything,... I'll go crazy,..." Michael replied.  
" Go downstairs and have a drink,...it will calm your nerves" Arthur replied to him, " and you really look like you need it".  
" What you really need is to get some sleep,.." Polly then said to him.  
" Get some sleep,...? " Michael spat back at her, as if he was alarmed and appualed by her suggestion.  
" Michael,... you haven't slept for nearly forty eight hours remember,... you were going to come here to get some sleep if y/n had of been here before you knew any of this had happened" Polly replied.  
" How can I fucking sleep right now,..." Michael argued back at her.  
" Michael,... there is nothing that you can do up until we get the phonecall about however long we have got to wait until they name a time and place to hand her back over,..." Polly replied, " and you will need to be up to your full strength then, won't you,... you want to be able to spend every second with her once we get her back don't you,...the best thing that you can do is to sleep for the next few hours while we wait to know more" Polly continued.  
" Pol's right Michael,... its no good forcing yourself to stay awake only to just sit around and drive yourself crazy not being able to do anything,.. you need to rest to be fit and ready for when we get her back,... you will be no good to her tired and weak,...and she will need you more than ever when we do get her back after what she has been through,... so its best to get some sleep now while we will sort out the rest" Ada smiled at him.  
It did make sense,... y/n was going to need him to be there for her as soon as they did get her back to him.  
God knows what has happened to her,...and he would be no good to her falling asleep once she returned.  
And once he did finally gets her back, he wouldn't want to ever sleep again.  
Only because he didn't want to miss a single second with her every again, let alone let her out of his sight ever again.  
" Your right,... I'll be no good to her like this,... and I'll be even worse come tomorrow if I go any further without any sleep" he nodded, " but as soon as you get a phonecall,... you wake me up" Michael ordered to them all.  
" We will,..." Polly smiled at him, again rubbing his back reassuringly.  
He nodded at his mother, as he then slowly walked out of the room, bowing his head down at the floor to avoid anyone's gaze.  
Although just before he reached the door, he turned to Tommy.  
" Can I have a quick word Tom,...?" he asked his cousin.  
" Sure,..." Tommy replied, following him out of the room, as Michael stood waiting for him in the foyer.  
" What is it,...?" Tommy asked him, puzzled to the secrecy.  
" I just need to know that you aren't planning anything... " Michael replied.  
" Planning anything,...?" Tommy replied, confused at his suggestion.  
" Seriously Tom,... you don't have any clever tricks up your sleeve do you,...that your not telling me about?" Michael asked him, his tone harsher.  
" I don't know what you mean Michael,...? " Tommy replied, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes serious and sharp at his younger cousin.  
" Tom,... you always have some clever trick up your sleeve,... some conniving master plan to trip up someone who is going against us,... in order to get one over on them,..." Michael replied.  
" Michael,... what are you getting at here" Tommy asked him.  
" I'm asking you not too," Michael replied, as his eyes seem to plead to his older cousin, " if you have got something smart and clever that you are hiding up your sleeve,... please Tom,.. I'm begging you not to do it" Michael continued, his eyes serious on Tommy's face.  
" What makes you think that I'm hiding something up my sleeve,...?" Tommy then asked him, seeming to be baffled at the suggestion.  
"Look Tom,... I know you,....hell,...I've always admired you,...admired your smartness and cunningness" Michael replied back, " but please,... just not this time,... not when it involves y/n,.... I need her Tom,... I need her back" Michael's words almost came out like a plea again.  
" I know Michael,... I know" Tommy replied, nodding back at him.  
" No,... no Tom,....I don't think that you do" Michael replied, " I love her Tom,... I don't think that I could go on if anything was to happen to her,...and I know that this is the wrong thing to say to you of all people,... after you know,... after Grace,... but I can't lose her Tommy,... I won't lose her,...you don't know what she means to me" Michael continued, his voice accidently filling with emotion again.  
" Yeah,... yeah I do Michael,..." Tommy replied, " I do know how much she means to you,... I have a hole in my fucking office door telling me so,... and your not going to lose her,...ok,....no more members of this family are going to die,... not if I have got anything to do with it,..." Tommy continued.  
" I'm just pleading with you Tom,... no tricks,... no tricks that could somehow go wrong or backfire on us ,... not when y/n's life is involved " Michael replied back,  
" please,... just straight forward give them the money,... the exact money that they have asked for,... I just can't have anything go wrong,... she's far too important for anything to go wrong".  
" I know,... I know,..." Tommy replied, " and that is all that is going to happen,... his money returned in exchange for y/n,... no tricks, no traps,...nothing that could go wrong,....you have my word Michael" Tommy replied, looking deeply into Michael's face, as Michael started to nod back and let out a huge sigh of relief at Tommy's words.  
" Now, ... go down into the kitchen,.. and get the most strongest bottle of whiskey,....and try and get some sleep,... our Ada's right,...y/n is going to need you fit and strong for when we get her back after the ordeal that she has been through" Tommy then says, as he puts his hand on Michael's shoulder and squeezes it firmly.  
Michael nods back to Tommy, as if to agree and then walks past him in the direction of the kitchen. 

Walking back up the stairs with the large bottle of whiskey in his hands, he feels the exhaustion begin to completely wash over him.  
As he walks along the upstairs corridor, he decides to look through the door of the nursery on his way past it.  
Into the room where she should be right now.  
Smiling and laughing as she played with Charlie.  
The door had been left open, and as he walks by it he looks in to see Charlie playing on the floor, giggling to himself as he plays with a couple of toy trains, as Mary is sat down on a chair nearby, just watching him.  
Mary must of sensed a presence at the door, as she instantly looks up at him standing there in the doorway, looking solemn with a bottle of whiskey in his one hand.  
Again, her eyes meet his, and she seems to give him another look of disapproval.  
He sighs to himself as he then carries on walking past, not needing her unpleasant looks to make him feel any more worse than he already did at this very moment.  
He walks away in the direction of a nearby spare bedroom.  
He opens the door and makes his way over to the bed, chucking the bottle of whiskey onto the top of the bed sheets as he takes off his jacket and tie and unfastens the top few buttons of his shirt to get more comfortable.  
He then kicks off his shoes and unbuckles his belt, and puts all of the removed items of his clothing at the back of a nearby chair.  
He then picks up the bottle of whiskey and lies himself onto the bed, unscrewing the lid and gulping down the first taste of it.  
He was tired,... he was in fact beyond tired,... and in normal circumstances he would of probably fallen to sleep instantly.  
But the worried thoughts going around in his brain at 100 miles an hour were not going to allow him just to fall to sleep naturally, however exhausted he may be.  
He was hoping that the whiskey would solve that problem for him.  
He sighed as he took another gulp.  
He wondered what might be happening to her right this very moment.  
He knew it was probably best not to think like that,...but he couldn't help it.  
The constant wondering of where she was and what was being done to her every single second she had been gone.  
Was she wondering where the fuck he was,.. like he wasn't doing anything to find her or get her back.  
Was she so petrified or crying,....thinking that she was going to die at their hands.  
He couldn't bear the constant thoughts of anybody frightening her or hurting her.  
He needed to sleep,... just so he didn't have to think of these constant thoughts any longer.  
So he drank and then he drank until he finally let his tired eyes close as he flopped himself along the top of the bed.  
He closed his eyes, and pictured her beautiful face as he finally drifted off into a deep sleep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Michael slowly opened his sleepy eyes, as the sunlight through the window started to blare onto his face.  
He ran his hand across the bed, initially confused to where he was and why he was still dressed from waking up.  
Spreading his arm out across the bed covers he then rolled the bottle of whiskey that had been slouched next to him off the bed, and the sound of the bottle hitting the floor then made him jolt up even more.  
He slurred a mumble of a few jiberish words, wiping the side of his wet mouth with his hand realising he must of drooled a little from falling into such a deep, drunken sleep.  
It then all started coming back to him,.... coming to Tommy's to look for y/n, then being told that she had been kidnapped,... everything all came flooding back to him as he raised his hand to his pounding head.  
How he would do anything just to go back to those few initial seconds when he had just woke up and had not yet remembered what had happened.  
Those perfect few seconds of ignorance bliss, where he had still thought that y/n had been sleeping aside him, or she had just woken up and left the bed before him,... and everything was still completely alright.  
Because it wasn't.  
He grunted to himself again as he then turned and looked over at the clock.  
11:07am.  
Fuck, he must of slept the whole night through.  
He darted up from the bed, unsteady on his feet.  
Why the fuck had no one woke him up?  
What the fuck had happened while he had been asleep?  
Had Eddie been in contact with them?  
Had they already met up with him?  
Is that why they had left Michael to sleep the morning through.  
So they could all meet up with Eddie with Michael out of the way so that he didn't do anything stupid?  
And if so,... was y/n already back?  
Had they already got her back and she was now somewhere within the house?  
God,.. he needed to see her.  
He should of been there.  
And he had been asleep this whole time.  
He darted out of the room, forgetting that he was scruffly half dressed in just a creased shirt and trousers.  
Not his usual clean cut attire, with his jacket, tie, belt and shoes still in the room he had just slept in, as he quickly made his way down the corridor of the house.  
'Please tell me that she is already back here',... he pleaded to himself in his head.  
" Mom,..." he then called out, as he ran down the stairs at a fast pace, hoping that Polly was still here and she had not gone home.  
Or she had not gone home and took y/n back with her.  
He desperately needed to see her.  
" Mom,...." he shouted out again, as he walked into the office.  
" Tommy,...." he shouted as he walked into the office to find no one there but an empty room.  
He looked around the office, irritated that no one seemed to be about as he walked out and continued down the hallway.  
He entered the lounge area and there he finally saw his mother just sitting there, with a cup and pot of tea on the table and her head in her hands, looking somewhat distressed.  
Lizzie was sitting opposite her, stirring her cup of tea, also with a bleak look on her face.  
" Why didn't you wake me up,...its nearly mid day" Michael demanded outloud to them, causing both of their heads to turn and look at him entering the room.  
" Michael,..." his mother replied, removing her hands from her face as she stared back at him with a concerned, worried look on her face.  
" Where's Tommy,... what's going on,...?" Michael then asked them, standing before the two of them, " has Eddie made contact about arranging the meeting point,.... have they all already left to get her back,..?" he continued, looking back and forth between Polly and Lizzie for answers.  
He saw his mother let out a heavy sigh, and her face look bleak and full of worry.  
" What,....what is it...? " Michael asked them both again, looking frantically between the two of them.  
" Sit down Michael,... I need to tell you something" Polly replied, and he watched as Lizzie also let out a heavy sigh.  
He then felt his legs suddenly turn to jelly.  
" What,... what is it,...?" he repeated again, his eyes harsh on his mother's face, awaiting her answer as his heart rapidly beated in his chest.  
Polly's pause then made his heart pound even faster.  
" Is,.... is she ok,...? " he managed to say, hardly able to get the words out, " has,.. has something happened to her,...?" he continued, as he felt the blood in his veins run cold.  
" It's not that love,...as far as we know, she's still ok,... ..well, probably not ok,.....but she is still alive " Lizzie suddenly spoke up, as if she could tell from the look on his face that he had assumed the worst.  
" Eddie rang us late last night,....we didn't wake you up to tell you because we knew how much you needed to get some sleep,... " Polly replied, before Michael cut her off mid sentence.  
" Mom,.. what the fuck is it?" Michael raised his voice at her.  
" Eddie rang,..." Polly replied, letting out a heavy breath as her face then twisted in a frown, "I'm afraid that the meeting isn't going to be today darling".  
Michael stared back at her in confusion, as he watched her then let out another deep and heavy sigh.  
" Eddie isn't prepared to meet with us until in a week's time,..." Polly then replied.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for the delay in this chapter.  
> I know it has been a month, 😩 but unfortunately I have just been unable to update.  
> Hopefully that will now change, and it will now be back to much regular updates.  
> Again, thank you for all of your lovely comments. xx

Michael's POV continued

Michael just stood there for a moment, as if he was unable to process what his mother had just said to him.  
Not until in a week's time.  
What the fuck was she talking about?  
That didn't make any sense,... that didn't make any sense at all.  
Eddie would surely want his money back as soon as possible.  
And more than anything else, Michael needed his girl back as soon as possible,... above anything else.  
" What the fuck do you mean,... not until in a week's time,...?" Michael finally managed to reply, scowling back at her.  
Polly then let out another heavy sigh, before looking back over at Lizzie, before turning her head back to face him again with reluctance.  
Like she was frightened of how he was going to react to any further information given to him.  
" We are not sure what the hell is going on ourselves, " Polly began to reply, " all we know is that he rang Tommy last night and said that he was now going to be unable to meet with us until a week's time,... and to get the money ready for when he gives us an exact time and date to meet him,...." Polly continued, before she paused with further anticipation, " and until then,.... he will be keeping hold of y/n."  
Michael continued to stare back at her as she spoke, his brows furrowed together and his face a picture of denial.  
" But,.... b-but he can't,....he can't keep her for a whole week,... he needs to give her back today,.... TODAY!!" Michael replied, raising his voice with anger, his face reddening slightly, " he has already had her for over forty eight hours,.... that's two whole nights he has held her hostage for,... she must be going out of her mind with fear,... there is no fucking way that he is keeping her for another week,....NO FUCKING WAY".  
" Darling,... I know,.. I know,..." Polly softly replied, as if she had been predicting his impending outburst.  
" Everyone is doing everything they can Michael " Lizzie speaks up, as Michael turns to face her, his chest rising up and down as his breathing begins to get heavier and more erratic.  
" Where's Tommy,...?" Michael then asks Lizzie, "I need to speak with Tommy,... I need to know what the fuck is actually going on."  
" He has gone out with John and Arthur,.... they are trying to find word on where Eddie might be staying here in Birmingham,... Finn and Isaiah are speaking to Moss this morning,... seeing if he has heard anything and if so, we have got plenty of coppers on our books to - ,... " Polly began to reply, before Michael cuts her off.  
" I need to go,... I need to get out there and help,... I need to find her" Michael replied, as he then raced out of the room and straight back upstairs.  
" Michael,... " Polly called out after him, before standing up from the sofa as she began following him upstairs.  
" MICHAEL,..." she shouted out after him louder, as she continued to follow him into the bedroom where he had just slept in, and watched as he began to get redressed.  
" Michael,...what are you doing?" Polly then asked, as he continues to get dressed and seems to just ignore her question entirely.  
" Where's Johnny,....?" he then asked her, sharp and bluntly, as he began to put his shoes on, looking up at her, impatiently awaiting her reply.  
" Johnny,.....well he's probably camped out down by the bottom of the estate,...why ?" Polly questioned him, confusion etched on her face, " Michael,... please,.. will you please just calm down for a moment and talk to me. "  
" I need to talk to Johnny,... right now,....I need to know everything that he knows" Michael replied, as he then just walked past her out of the room, as Polly then quickly began to follow him again.  
" Johnny,... why,....what would Johnny know,...?" Polly replied, shouting after him, " Michael,.... will you please just stop and calm down for a minute so we can just talk,..." she continued, before Michael stopped and swiftly turned around to face her again, his face furrowed with annoyance.  
" Calm down,..." he snapped, " you expect me to calm down,... some psychopath has got the woman I love held hostage,... all because of something that I have done,...and he has now said that he is going to keep her hostage for at least another week to do god knows what to her,... and you want me to calm down and stop for a minute ,....so we can what,... go downstairs and have a cup of tea and talk about our feelings" Michael continued, " well, I will tell you how I am feeling right now,... shall I mom,... I'm feeling pretty fucking scared,.... because right this very moment, some nutter has got the most precious thing in the world to me held hostage,... and I don't know where the fuck they are or what the fuck he might be doing to her right now, ... but the only thing that I do know is that it is all my fault,... and that somehow,.. I have got to find her" he choked up, as his eyes begin to fill up as well.  
" Michael,..." Polly softly replied, reaching her arms out to him, as he then softens his stiff shoulders and allows his mother to pull him close to her, " I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now,... I am your mother,... and what hurts you hurts me as well,... and I know how much you love her,... I've always known,..." she softly says, holding onto him,  
" And I know that your scared,... I'm scared for her too,...but we are going to fix this,...we are going to find her and get her back,... I promise you".  
Michael just stared back at her,....his pain stricken face suddenly changing to a cold, harsh and emotionless stare almost within an instant, before turning away from her to be released from within her grip.  
" I need to find Johnny,.... now" he replies bluntly, his voice just as cold and stoic as his face now appeared, as he then just turned and walked away from her and back down the stairs.  


He could hear the sound of Polly calling out after him as he walked back down the stairs and out of the house at such an urgent pace, refusing to stop or turn back to talk to her again.  
He just needed to find Johnny,.. right now,...he desperately needed to know everything that Johnny knew about this Eddie Raymond.  
The man who was holding the love of his life hostage.  
Johnny Doggs had been with them all when they had all gone down to London last month, as Johnny has always been someone who Tommy trusted more than most people in this world.  
He was always there when something serious was going down and stuff needed to be done, ... always there to help clear up the mess whenever Tommy needed him,... and to be trusted with keeping the family's deepest darkest secrets.  
And Johnny always seemed to know important information that needed to be known.  
Probably from being of the travelling kind.  
And right this moment, all Michael could now think about was what Johnny had said to him back in London a month ago.

' The guy is said to be an actual psychopath '

' He's not just bad and corrupt like most other gangsters,..... I've heard that he apparently likes to play mind games with people,.... to make them go crazy....'

' And if anyone does ever cross him,... he makes sure that he then takes the most precious thing that they hold dear away from them,... what they care about above all else,... only to make it his,... so he always takes more away from you '

Johnny Doggs's words were now spinning round and round in Michael's head at a hundred miles an hour.  
At the time, Michael had scoffed at Johnny's words, and had sarcastically laughed them off with his cousins as nothing more than just pathetic, scary stories that had probably just been over exaggerated to make Eddie appear more dangerous than he actually was.  
Although now,... what Johnny had originally warned him about was all that Michael could now think about.  
Especially now Eddie had come back up to Birmingham and had took the girl that he loved away from him as revenge.  
Michael could feel the harsh wind of the cold outside air pierce through his clothes and make his eyes slightly water as he quickened his pace down the grass of Tommy's land.  
He carried on walking and walking down the estate like a man possessed, as his mother's calls after him became even more distant and distant until he could no longer hear her cries for him to return back to the house, as he just kept on marching down the long field as if his life depended on it, not even realising how long he had probably walked for as his mind was constantly focused on what Johnny had warned him, as the fear in his veins kept him warm against the cold, harsh wind until his watery eyes finally saw the familiar site of Johnny's caravan parked up by the river, right at the bottom of Tommy's estate.  
The site of it camped there made him walk even faster than he had been doing, as he finally got to the door of his caravan and swung it open.  
" Johnny,...." he called out, before seeing that the inside of his caravan and wagon was empty.  
He let out a huge huff of annoyance as he slammed the door back shut, as he then made his way back up the long fields again and back up to the house, at an even faster pace than he had before due to his increasing frustration and desperation.  
As he finally made his way back into the house, his mother must of heard him come back from within the living area from the noise of him banging open the front door, because as soon as he entered back into the foyer of the house, Polly had suddenly re appeared to greet him.  
" Where the hell have you been,...?" she scolded him,  
" you look absolutely shivering,...you could of at least put a coat on,..." she continued, as Michael just gave her a disapproving look.  
" Where's Johnny,... he's not down by the river" he replied to her, completely ignoring her question.  
" He must be out with the rest of them,... Tommy must of given him a job to do with searching for Eddie,..?" Polly replied back to him.  
" You could of told me that before I walked all of the way down to the river..... its like a mile there and back" Michael snapped back at her with annoyance.  
" Well,...you didn't even give me chance to say anything,....you just stormed off,... even when I was calling out after you,..." Polly scolded him back.  
Michael then let out a loud tut,..unable to answer her back as he had just stormed off in a hurry, completely ignoring his mother.  
" Please Michael,... just let me make you a hot drink,... you must be freezing" Polly said, stepping towards him with concern etched across her worried face, " just sit down with me and Lizzie for a minute,... just so you can calm down and take breath for a moment,... and we can talk,.. you are not allowing anyone to say anything,... you just keep refusing to listen to anyone" Polly continued.  
Michael turned and stared back at his mother, and breathed heavily as if he really was struggling to catch his breath.  
" I have got to find her,...." he breathed.  
" I know,...." Polly softly replied, reaching out to touch his arm, " I know,... and we will".  
" I can't leave her wherever she is for a whole week,... for god knows what to happen to her" Michael continued, "for him to do god knows what to her,..."  
" Eddie,...?" Polly questioned, her dark eyes penetrating his.  
" I'm worried that he is more dangerous than we thought,.." Michael replied.  
" What do you mean,...?" Polly replied back to him.  
" Johnny warned me back in London that he is more than just your average gangster,...that he is a psychopath" Michael replied back, " that he is a complete psychopath,... and he has y/n, mom,.." Michael replied, the fear visible in his scared eyes for his mother to clearly see.  
" Right,...ok,....just go and sit in there with Lizzie,..." Polly gestered to him, as if she was trying to remain calm for his sake, " your completely out of breath and shaking like a leaf,.... I'll make you that hot drink and we will sit down and wait to hear from the rest of the boys".  
Michael went to instantly protest, but Polly raised her hand swiftly as if she knew that he was about too.  
" I mean it Michael,..." she sternly replied, " In there with Lizzie,....there is nothing we can do until Tommy returns."  
Michael gave her a heavy sigh before finally giving her the smallest of nods, as if he was being forced into it.  
" I just need to speak with Johnny,..." he turned and said to her, before finally walking away into the lounge reluctantly.

Polly came back into the room with a tray of three hot drinks, as she rested them on the table that was situated inbetween Lizzie and Michael sitting opposite one other.  
" Thanks,... " Michael quietly mumbled to her, as he reached out and took the one cup and brought it to his lips.  
" You will feel much better after that,..." Polly smiled at him.  
" No,... I won't feel better until y/n is safely back here,.. with me" Michael replied, as he then put his cup back down on the table.  
" They will find her,... I know they will" Lizzie replied.  
Michael gave Lizzie a brief look, like he needed more than just that.  
" The last thing I said to her was to move out of my way" he suddenly blurted out to them both.  
He watched as his mother and Lizzie both shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, as they both just stared back at him sympathetically.  
" That night,... she told me not to go off with Tommy, Arthur and John,... that it was the middle of the night and to stay with her instead" Michael started to tell them, " I had let her down before,... because I had so much work on,...and we had finally rescheduled for the evening and I just left her to go off with them,... because business always comes first" Michael continued, as he shook his head at his words.  
" Michael,..." Polly softly replied.  
" She asked me not to leave her,... " Michael continued, his voice full of emotion as he bowed his head with shame, " and I let her down,..." .  
" Michael,... you could never of known,...." Lizzie replied.  
" I just pushed past her,... I've never done that before, " Michael continued, like their words just fell on deaf ears, " I've never shoved her before,... not ever,... but I was just so annoyed that she kept telling me what I could and couldn't do,... she was constantly going on at me not to get involved in anything dangerous" he continued, shaking his head, " I love her more than I love anything,... yet I just shoved past her and told her to get out of my way,.. without even looking back at her" Michael replied.  
" I'm sure that will all be forgotton once we get her back,... you will have the rest of your lives to make it up to her and to let her know how sorry you are for it,... and to show her just how much you love her" Lizzie replied.  
" Or,... that will be the last thing I ever say to her,... the last time I ever see her,... and the last memory she ever has of me" Michael replied, as he began to get choked up as the words left his mouth.  
" We will not have you thinking like that Michael,... do you understand me,..?" Polly replied, raising her voice at him, " you can not keep thinking like that,... it will make you ill,.... we will get her back".  
" But she is in this situation because of me,... it is all my fault,...and she is wherever the hell she is right now,...knowing that this is all because of me as well" Michael replied, looking back up at them with pitiful eyes.  
" And,... she also loves you Michael" Lizzie quickly replied back to him.  
" Or,... she might not even be still,..." he replied, before stopping,...and biting down on his tongue.  
Like he couldn't bare to say it,..... he just couldn't bare to say the words that she may already be dead.  
" He would not of killed her,... he needs her to get his money back" Polly quickly replied to him, like she could read her son's mind.  
" He has lots of money mom,... everyone knows that,... he owns half of London,...." Michael snapped back,  
" Johnny told me that he was a known psychopath,.... psychopaths aren't like you or me or Tommy,... they don't play by the rules of logic,..... that what makes them psychopaths,... they are just insane,... that's what makes them so dangerous" he angrily continued.  
" Michael,..." Polly began to speak, but he cut her off again.  
" He could be doing anything to her right now,... he could of done god knows what to her already,.... he may of already killed her and this is just one of his sick games..." Michael raged, " I could already of lost her,...."  
" She is not dead Michael,.... I know she's not" Polly then spoke, raising her voice at him again, " I would know if she was dead,... I would just feel it somehow,... I know I would,... and I don't.... I know that she is still alive out there".  
Michael stared back at his mother intently, before letting out another heavy breath.  
" If she dies,... if she does die,... I will never forgive myself,..." Michael says, his eyes filling up, " I will never be able to forgive myself for walking out on her that night when she had begged me not too,... as this would never of happened if I had just stayed with her like she had asked me too" he sobbed, " and I'll never forgive myself for the final things that I ever said to her,..."  
" Michael please,..." Polly said, her own voice full of upset.  
" I will never be able to recover from losing her,.... losing what could of been,... having to live the rest of my life without her " Michael continued, choking up again,  
" and knowing that it was all my fault."  
Suddenly there was a silence within the room, with both Polly and Lizzie feeling the intensity of Michael's sorrow from just looking at the brokenness etched on his face.  
" No one will ever compare to her,...." Michael then suddenly spoke, so quiet that they both could barely hear him,.. but they did, as Polly extended out her arm to gently take her son hand's and wrapped them up tightly within her own hands.  
There was another long silence again, as Michael's tears slowly fell down from his eyes, and wet the skin underneath them, as he just stared blankly into space, almost as if he was lost in a trance of his own thoughts before suddenly the sound of the front door shutting from the hallway of the house knocked everyone from the moment.  
Michael suddenly stood up, letting go of his mother's warm hands and faced the doorway of the lounge with anticipation.  
Tommy then came into his view, followed by John, Arthur and Finn and Michael began to hear the sound of his heart beating rapidly in his chest.  
" Do you know where he is...?" Michael asked Tommy,... before his cousin even had the chance to speak first.  
Tommy carried on walking into the room with his brothers, with a look of disappointment in his eyes which made Michael feel his shoulders drop, as if he already felt like he knew what was coming.  
" Nobody seems to know anything,...they have not seen or heard anything,..." Tommy replied, before looking over towards Michael, " I'm sorry Michael,... as soon as anyone hears something,...." Tommy tried to continue, before Michael interrupted him.  
" Well,... that's just not good enough,....someone must know something,.....anything" Michael snapped back.  
" Michael,... I have men on it right now,... working 24/7 to find her,... as soon as I hear anything,..." Tommy replied to him, looking forcefully into his eyes.  
" And what if we don't,....we just wait until a week's time,... until he tells us to meet him wherever with the money in exchange for y/n" Michael replied back.  
" That is worst case scenario,..." Arthur then replied.  
" No,.... no,..." Michael replied, shaking his head, " I won't leave her that long,... we can't do that to her,...I will not do that to her".  
" For now,... we just need to wait to see what we hear back,...like I said,... I have men,... good capable men working 24/7 to find her,... there is nothing more any of us can do until we hear anything or Eddie calls us" Tommy replied.  
" It's not good enough,... its just not good enough,...." Michael spat back, before stopping,.. the emotion of it all seeming to overwhelm him, as he inhaled in a heavy breath of oxygen.  
" I know,... I know it feels like that,..." Tommy replied,  
" but everyone is doing the best they can,... and we are going to do everything we can to get her back".  
Michael then nodded, but he couldn't reply a single word from being so overwhelmed with emotion, feeling as if he was about to break again.  
So he just continued to nod, before quickly storming out of the room.  
He could hear the voice of his mother utter that she would go after him once he got it all out of his system again, as he then made his way up the stairs away from all of their eyes and whispers about him .  
As he walked through the upstairs hallway, he deliberately raced past the open door of the nursery, purposely avoiding to look in the direction of it.  
As if looking in there and seeing her not in there would finally make him lose total control of his raging emotions.  
So he just stormed past the nursery, purposely not looking towards it as he then entered the bathroom to compose himself.  
After splashing some cold water onto his burning hot face, he finally turned the running tap back off and decided to head back downstairs to the kitchen.  
He needed to drink,... he needed to drink the strongest thing possible that was going to make him be able to get him through every hour, minute and second that he was going to have to endure until he got her back.  
On the way back down the stairs, he was once again greeted with the concerning look of his mother.  
" Look,... darling" Polly began, " I know you don't want to hear this,... but if it is a whole week until we do get her back,... don't you think that we need to tell her mother what has happened" Polly told him.  
Michael gave her a cold stare of disbelief.  
" And then,... when I do eventually get y/n back,... I will of definitely guaranteed (reader's mother's name) never letting me anywhere near y/n ever again,.. let alone allowing her to marry me" Michael scoffed, as he walked on past his mother, who then continued to follow him.  
" Michael,... I know its not ideal,... but she is going to notice y/n not returning home for a whole week,..." Polly replied, " she is going to start worrying out of her mind about where she is and what has happened to her and she is going to come here asking questions,... questions we won't be able to answer".  
" I have told her that y/n is stopping over at ours for a couple of days,.." Michael replied.  
" Yes,... a couple of days,... not a whole week,... and she is going to know something is wrong when she has not seen or heard anything from her for over a week" Polly replied, as she continues to walk behind Michael who does not answer her.  
" MICHAEL,..." she then shouts after him, and he finally turns to face her.  
" And what do you expect me to tell her,..." Michael replies, raising his eyebrows at her questionably, "that some gangster who happens to be a psychopath has got her daughter held hostage right now... and that he is going to do so for at least another week,... and that it is all my fault" Michael scoffed.  
" I know,... its not ideal,... but,... " Polly then replied.  
" No,... y/n would never forgive me if she knew that her mom had been told the real truth,... that her mom had been put through that ordeal of knowing what was really going on,... " Michael replied back.  
" Then what then,... because y/n's family and friends are going to start asking questions about where she is..." Polly replied to him.  
Michael sighed heavily,... he just didn't need this right now.  
" What about her friend,... Maggie isn't it,...?" Polly then suddenly asked him.  
Michael stared back at her and furrowed his eyebrows disapprovingly at her.  
" Seriously....?" he replied, " you want me to tell her best friend,... her best friend who just happens to passionately hate my guts as well as the fact that I am with y/n at all,..." Michael sneered.  
" She is going to find out about what has happened sooner or later,..." Polly replied.  
" Not if one of our men manage to find out where they are first,... then her mom and best friend never has to find out,.... I know y/n would never want them to,....she would never want them to worry like that and find out what has really happened to her" he replied, before he then turned away from her and started walking in the direction of the downstairs kitchen.  
" Michael,..." Polly shouted out after him again.  
" I need a drink,..." he shouted back to her, as he continued to make his way down to the kitchen.  


Michael sat down by himself at the table in the kitchen, unscrewing the lid of the large bottle of whiskey in his hand and knocking it back down his throat, not even pouring it into a glass as he took one gulp,... followed by another,.... and then another.  
Just trying to block everything out.  
Trying not to feel the constant crippling pain of intense emotions raging throughout his body.  
Never in this moment had he ever wanted anything as much as he wanted just to see her again,... to be able to see her beautiful face again and be able to hold her again.  
To hold her,.. touch her,.. smell her.  
Smell the smell of her shampoo in her hair or the smell of the scent of her perfume on her neck.  
Or to feel the feeling of her soft skin against his one more time or feel the softness of her hair against his skin whenever she would lean into him.  
To see the twinkle in her beautiful eyes once more or the beautiful image of her smile.  
All these thoughts plaguing his mind,.. making him take one gulp after another of the bottle of whiskey in his hands as he closed his eyes shut and tried to block out the constant images of her.  



	49. Chapter 49

Reader's POV

You had now convinced yourself that you were definitely going to die.  
Probably horribly as well.  
You wondered if it would hurt, secretly praying that if it did that it would at least be quick.  
You then wondered about what he would probably do with your body afterwards as such thoughts began to make you feel like you were about to physically throw up with fear.  
You would never see the people that you love ever again.  
But out of it all, what was still the most painful of it all was now knowing that Michael definitely did not love you.  
He knew that you were being held hostage and your life was in danger, and yet him and the rest of his family had decided that you were not worth even a single penny to save.  
That money and pride came before your life.  
How insignificant had you been all along to them all,... and most importantly to Michael.  
The man who you had foolishly believed loved you.  
The man who you had so foolishly believed you were going to marry.  
Maggie had been right all along,.... falling in love with Michael Gray had really cost you your life.  
You should of stayed away from him,... you should never of fallen in love with him.  
You had known what he was from the very first moment you met him.... who his whole family were.  
Yet you still chose to play with fire and allow him into your heart.  
And you were now going to pay the ultimate price for loving him.  
You were certain Eddie was now going to kill you now that there was no need to keep you here alive if Tommy and Michael really had refused to give him his money back in return for your life.  
How could you of meant so little to him?  
For him to not even try to get you back?  
However evil this Eddie was,... he had obviously been right all along about everything he had said to you about Michael's true feelings for you.  
That Michael Gray has never loved you.  
At least not enough to save you.  
How could money mean so much more to them than a human life,... then your life?  
You had cared for Tommy's child.  
They had even made you believe that they had accepted you as part of their family after you and Michael had got engaged.  
Polly had even called you her daughter.  
How could even Polly do this to you,... after calling you her daughter? 

You then suddenly heard the sound of him unlocking the door.  
You had come to know that sound so well over the last couple of days locked away in here.  
As each time you heard it, your heart had frozen in your chest.  
Was this it,.... was this this moment you were about to die? 

You watched him with dread as he walked into the room, and you heard the loud thudding sound of your racing heart beating in your eardrums.  
This was really it.  
This was your end.  
You whispered a weak and petrified 'please' at him, the tears streaming down your face as you sobbed.  
As you dreaded how it was going to happen.

The noise of him dragging the chair across the floor to where you were tied up made your ears pierce, as you felt your whole body freeze up with fear.  
You stare up at him, and watched as he sat down on the chair in front of you and leaned in closer to you.  
His face cold and emotionless, showing you no clue at all to what was about to happen to you. 

" I just want you to know that I am sorry,..." he suddenly spoke, his eyes penetrating you, " that I am so sorry about earlier, ... I should never of behaved like that towards you,... I should never of spoken to you in that way... and said all of those horrible things,...." 

You just continue to stare back at him, completely taken aback by his choice of words. 

" I was completely out of order,... I was just so angry,....I have only had you held hostage like this all this time so I could just have back what is rightly mine,..." he continued, " and to be told that the whole thing has all been for nothing,... that they refuse to give back what they wrongly stole from me in return for your safety,... I was just so shocked,.... and so angry,.... "

He then looks deeply into your eyes, and he seemed to softly smile at you. 

" But I was completely out of order to take it out on you like that, ....I am just so ashamed at the way I treated you,... you are just as much a victim of the Shelby's as I am,... I mean,....you wouldn't even be here right now if it was not for them,.." he continued, as he reached out, and gently put his hand underneath your chin to raise your face up to look at him directly. 

" I just want you to know that I am truly sorry,...and that earlier,... that wasn't me at all,... that is just not the kind of man that I am,... to treat a lady like that,... in such an awful manner,...please,...you have to believe that,...." he says, giving you another small, almost boy-like smile,  
" can you ever forgive me,..? "

You just nod back at him, still too terrified to speak. 

The smile on his face then grows wider, and you hear him let out a deep breath. 

" Thank you,... thank you" he repeats, " that is more than I deserve for all of those awful things that I said to you,..." he replies, his eyes penetrating you deeply, like he was scanning your face for your true feelings.

But again you just nod, but manage to whisper " it's fine" to him,.. but your words are so quiet even you could barely hear them. 

You then hear him let out another heavy sigh, his eyes refusing to leave you. 

" Please,... you still look so terrified" he continues. 

" I,... I am,... you,... you said,...." you manage to get out some words, but he interrupts you half way through them. 

" I said a lot of awful things,.... but I'm hoping that we can just forget about them,... that we can just put my outburst behind us and forget it ever happened,... like I said,... I was just so angry,...." he says, that unsettling smile still on his face. 

" W-what,.... what are you g-going to do with me now ,...? " you manage to stutter out what you just desperatetly needed to know, " n-n-now that the-the they wont give you your m-money back". 

His dark eyes seem to narrow upon you at your question. 

"P-please,.... I just want to be able to go home,...." you sobbed, " I swear that I will never go anywhere near the Shelby's ever again... I-I will leave my job,... I'll never step foot back in there ever again,...if you just let me live,...and just let me go home and see my mom,... she must be worried sick about where I have been for all of these days,...please,... I promise I will never say a word of this to anyone,... I swear,..."

His eyes seem to get narrower, and a small smirk seems to creep up on his lips. 

" I thought you said that you needed to be sure that he really didn't love you,.. that he had not cheated on you?" he then asks you, his tone dark and sinister like,  
" yet now you are saying that you will never go anywhere near him ever again,... what has changed all of a sudden,... you seemed so convinced by all of his lies just a few hours ago". 

" Well,.... being told that your fiancée has just told your kidnapper that he does not even care whether you live or die,... and that I have never meant shit to him all along kind of changes a girl's whole perspective on a relationship,..." you reply back more boldly. 

And this time, you didn't even stutter your words.

You were completely broken. Your heart had been completely ripped from within the walls of your chest, tore out and shattered into a million pieces. 

You felt like your whole world was over,... that you really did in fact want to die from the loss of Michael's love. 

From the now knowledge of possibly never of having it to begin with.

But through the crippling pain of your breaking heart,...you were enraged. 

Michael had abandoned you,... left you with this psychopath knowing that you would more than likely die at his hands.

The man who you would of done anything for. 

And you felt that rage burning throughout your entire body, in the burning midst of your heartache. 

You suddenly saw Eddie's smirk grow wider from your bold words. 

He was enjoying watching your heartache,... your pain. 

Your knowledge of the fact that Michael no longer loved you,... if he ever had at all.

" That's my girl,... I knew I would get through to you eventually,... after a few days" he almost gloats, " I knew that you were a smart girl deep down."

You barely manage to give him a smile back,.... you didn't feel very smart.

You felt like the world's biggest fool.

How could you of got it all so wrong.

Because you had wanted to believe it,... you had wanted to believe that he really did love you too.

" Your not the first woman in the world to believe some low life darling, .. and you certainly won't be the last" you then hear him say to you, " at least you know now,... before you waste anymore of your life on him".

His words mean nothing to you,... but the last few of them make your ears pick up.

" My life,..." you reply.

" I'm not going to kill you y/n,..." he then laughs at you,  
" you think that I'm just as a monster like all them,... like the peaky blinders who you have associated yourself with for all this time,..." he continues to amuse himself at your fear, " I don't kill women,... I'm one of the good guys... remember,..? " he smiles at you.

You suddenly feel like you can at least breathe again.  
Was he really not going to kill you,... after all of this?

" It's the peaky blinders who are the bad guys here,...the real monsters,... the ones who have left you here to die,...well, believing that you would,... believing that you would be killed as a result of their rejection of you as part of their family" he continued to taunt you," they are the ones who didn't care about you or about whether you lived or died,...not me,... I thought you had realised that by now" he demanded, his voice raising at you.

" I do,... I have" you quickly reply, to stop his returning temper coming back.

" You say that,...but how can I believe you when you keep changing what you say,.... how do I know that YOU have really changed,..." he questions, raising his eyebrows, still seeming angry at you.

" I have,... of course I have learnt now,...how could I not of,... after everything you have told me" you reply, trying to convince him, " please,...." you then plead.

" Like I said,... I'm not going have you killed,...." he replies, sitting back in his chair as he glares menacingly at you, " but I can not just let you go either,...."

You stare back at him wide eyed, as you feel your blood begin to run cold.

" I just don't know if I can really trust you or not,..." he replies, " whether I believe what you say or you are just lying to me so I will let you go,..." he says, shaking his head at you.

" I'm not,.... I'm not,.....please,...?" you beg.

He stares back at you for what seemed like a lifetime, his piercing eyes boring into you so chillingly,...as if he was deliberately torturing you by making you wait for his answer,... before he then let out a heavy sigh and started shaking his head again at you.

" No,... I just can't,...." he replies, " I just can not be certain that you won't go running back to them as soon as I let you go from here,..." his voice getting darker. 

" I won't,..." you plead.

" How do I know that you are still not secretly on their side,.... that you won't go straight to them as soon as I let you go from here so that they can come straight after me,... even after everything that I have told you" he says to you.

" I'm won't,... I can promise you that,... I just want to go home" you beg.

" I'm sorry,..." he says, shaking his head, " but the only way I can be sure of that is by keeping you with me," he continues, " I can look after you now,..."

Your blood runs cold,... it was no use,... he was not planning on letting you go anytime soon.

And deep down,...your gut instinct was telling you that you couldn't trust this guy.

That he was a lot more dangerous than he was letting on.....

" Like I said,... I can treat you better than he ever did,..." he replies, a smile creeping up on his lips, one that was just so unsettling,.. " you have nothing to worry about,.... not anymore,... as I'm taking you back to London with me,... we are leaving tonight,.... and there will be no looking back,... "

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this.  
> Feedback and Comments always welcomed. xx


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